


Come Sweet Death

by Whoknows138



Series: CSD Universe [1]
Category: The Hollow (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Attempted Murder, Death, Drug Use, Everyone else is oblivious to the horrifying situation, I'm a slut for timeloop fics this was bound to happen, Kai goes fucking insane, Making Kay suffer as usual, Multi, Murder, Reeve is scared and confused, Sexual Content, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Time Loop, Vanessa has sad girl hours, Weirdo tries his best, someone take away my writing privilages, technically more like a game loop but yeah a time loop basically, yes the title is an evangelion reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:07:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 52
Words: 101,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24166333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoknows138/pseuds/Whoknows138
Summary: Kai stared at the shattered, bleeding reflection of his soul, and couldn't help but smile.He gets it now!He was alive, constantly repeating this stupid game over and ovEr aNd OveR anD oVeR again!T h A t  W a S  t H e  J o K e!(aka the "what if all the kids got stuck in the game in season 1 and had to relive it over and over again sorta like a time-loop with no way of remembering except for Kai who remembers the loops from the beginning and Reeve who starts remembering much later" fanfic)
Relationships: Mentioned Adam/Kai (The Hollow), Mentioned Kai/Vanessa (The Hollow), Mentioned Skeet/Kai (The Hollow), Technically Kai/Reeve (The Hollow) but it's much more complicated than that
Series: CSD Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034589
Comments: 269
Kudos: 203





	1. Story Time #1

**Author's Note:**

> The most angstiest fic I will possibly ever write. God am I sorry for anyone that reads this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's go back to when this all started!

“We have to jump!”

“What!?” Shrilled out Kai, completely horrified by his mutual hosta…or he supposed their name was _Adam_ , yeah, _Adam’s_ suggestion. “We can’t jump!”

“Yeah!” Shouted the _other_ mutual hostage next to the Latino that made the command, whose name was Mira. “We’ll never make it!” The Asian stared down at the edge of the cliff they stood in front of. Jagged rocks and vigorous waves intimidated them below.

“What else can we do?!” Adam attempted to get Mira and Kai on his side. “Wait for those Demon dogs to dig through the fence and eat us alive?”

Kai look behind himself, to see three deep red dogs with ferocious teeth dig their way under the electrical fence they had shut down. He turned back towards the cliff, surfing his hand through his red hair. “…F-falling off a cliff _would_ be better than becoming dinner, t-that’s for sure.” He stuttered out in tears. Was he really going to do a possible suicide pact with two complete strangers?

To make a long story short, Kai woke up in some weird grey bricked room, next to two other people he didn’t know. None of them had any memories of their past, and didn’t even know their own _names_ until they found a piece of paper in their pockets that told them what they were.

They almost suffocated in poisonous gas, Kai himself got electrocuted…except not really, and the three were now about to possibly jump off a cliff to save themselves a painful fate.

Yeah, it over all wasn’t a very good night for Kai. The _worst_ night of his life…well, technically the _only_ night he’s experienced, _and the last he would possibly experience_.

 **…Is what he thought anyways! Too bad he was wrong**!

**When he looks back to that very first run, he wishes it had just ended there~**

Kai felt Adam grab his hand, their eyes comforting and confident, yet somewhat sad. The guy was a true leader, and everything Kai wished he could be. He was rather jealous…but he deep down already liked the guy.

Adam then grabbed Mira’s hand who smiled somberly at the leader and the red-head. To Kai, Mira was absolutely amazing in every way. Kind, pretty, and headstrong. He kind of had a crush on her already, actually.

…He wouldn’t mind dying with these two. Even if their interactions had been brief, it had been nice. Kai wouldn’t know what he would do if he was alone…

“If we don't make it...It’s been…i-interesting guys. On the count of three.” Kai couldn’t blame Adam for stuttering, it would take a lot of willpower to actually jump.

“1…”

“2…”

“ _3!_ ”

The three teens jumped and flew down into the raging ocean below.

Kai felt his body crash onto one of the jagged rocks that pointed out of the ocean, feeling his bones cracking into hundreds of pieces. It caused him to scream in pain for just a moment.

**And then he felt the most intense, most _horrifying_ pain he had ever felt in his life at thousands of different colors flashed before him. **

**He couldn't even scream in horror. He had no mouth, no eyes, and no ears, and yet he could see everything, taste everything, and hear everything all at once.  
**

The very next moment, he woke up.

… _Back inside that bunker_.

“…And?” Reeve hesitantly asked, sitting awkwardly on the stool in front of the bar, staring with concern at the suddenly silent red-head before him. “…What happened next?”

Kai raised his head up, and stared at Reeve with dark eyes, giving him a twisted, insane smile. “Story time’s over! You’ll just have to wait until the next loop Reevie~” They lilted out, flicking Reeve’s nose playfully. The telekinetic clung onto his nose, and shifted his gaze around the saloon he was inside of, eyeing the completely full glass of watered-down vodka he held in his hand.

Kai grabbed his own glass of pure vodka, and took three big gulps out of it. He slammed it down on the bar table, almost startling Reeve out of his stool.

“You’re so jumpy! It’s adorable! Reminds me of when I was young~” Kai commented, letting out a few deranged giggles. “I _definitely_ won’t be bored now that you’ve started remembering the game loops, _that’s_ for sure! _You and I are gonna have so much fun~_ ”


	2. Slip ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That wasn't a very oblivious thing to say y'know!

If there was one thing Reeve wasn’t expecting, it was waking up back in that room after watching the game glitch away around him.

As he laid on the grass covered ground, waiting for the last chunk of earth around him to disappear into nothing, he had accepted the fact that the other team, Adam, Mira, and Kai, had won. He was simply waiting to be transported back to the real world, like Vanessa said would happen once the game ended.

**The millisecond the last piece of the game destroyed itself, Reeve felt the most horrifying, excruciating pain in his life.**

**He witnessed _thousands_ of different colors, and yet he felt like he had no eyes. He tasted _nothing_ , and also _everything_. He heard _silence_ , and yet also heard _the most earsplitting beeping noise_ he had ever heard.**

And then he woke up.

He slowly lifted himself up from the concrete floor beneath him. And observed the all too familiar bunker room that he had woken up in before.

…

… _What the fuck_?

An all to familiar voice greeted his ears from behind. “W-who are you? Where the hell am I?!”

Reeve looked behind himself, only to see Skeet, who huddled in a corner, shaking, and staring at Reeve in fear and confusion.

Admittedly, it took a while for Reeve to process what was going on.

He was back in the bunker?

Skeet didn’t remember him?

…Wait…did… _did the game reset_?

_But that made no sense_! Vanessa said it would end once the other team wins! Was…there some sort of error in the code?

Is that why he was back here, and could remember the last…god what do you even _call_ what happened before?!

He was freaking Skeet out by his staring, he needed to say something. “…I don’t know.” He mustered out, glaring at his hands intently. “…W…who are you?”

He knew he’d only sound like a lunatic if he tried to tell the others what had happened. He’ll just go along with this for now. It’s possible this was all a fluke anyways. The developers or whatever will hopefully fix the game and bring them all back into the real world.

Besides that, this was technically a second chance to win the game. With his newfound knowledge, there’s no way his team could lose!

…But none of this _truly_ calmed him. No, his heart was still racing, and he had _thousands_ of questions.

He kept up his façade for quite a while. It wasn’t hard really. Vanessa and Skeet didn’t know anything about him.

Vanessa however did eye him everyone and a while. Sometimes she looked at him like he was a an alien, like some of the things he said and did, although subtly different, weren’t _him_.

It was really weird because, like he had said, Vanessa knew nothing about him.

He decided to ignore it for now, and focused his attention on the annoying red-head he was currently patrolling the ghost town with.

God, Kai was so fucking annoying! He was so stupid, and dumb, and infuriating and just…it made him boil inside just looking at him!

Objectively, Kai technically wasn’t as bad as he had just described him, but for some reason Reeve was just _sooooooo_ mad at him. He couldn’t pinpoint _why_. It was an internal thing. _His gut_ told him to hate the guy.

The guy in fact was doing something rather annoying in that particular moment, playing with his fire powers and accidently setting things on fire in the process.

He begged Vanessa to let Skeet come with him instead, but that bitch seemed _intent_ on making him suffer.

“Dude!” Reeve shouted at the guy, who he tried to stay 10 feet away from. “Knock it off! We’re protecting this area, not destroying it dumbass!”

Kai gave the telekinetic a glare, and wiped away the fire blazing from his hands. “Sorry!” They sighed out, almost in annoyance. “I was just bored.”

Reeve only rolled his eyes at the red-head’s excuse, and continued walking along the edge of the town. He’d prefer that Asian chick with the blue highlights over this guy, or heck even that angry Latino with the weird-ass shirt- wait…actually, _probably not_. Adam pissed him off _even more_ for some reason, and he’d _barely_ even interacted with them in both of his runs.

…

… _What’s that burning smell?_

Reeve nearly shrilled like a little girl when he saw his shoe set aflame, and attempted in vain to wave it away. “Kai!” He yelled out, glaring at the boy standing by him. “Put it out now!”

Kai, who had been giggling at his little prank, did at he said and waved his hand over to the side, destroying the flame in the process.

…Reeve had been much more observant lately, due to his whole “repeating the game again” thing.

And strangely enough, the giggle Kai gave almost seemed… _fake_.

He had heard it before, it was the same laugh in the desert, or in the ice castle, but this time he noticed how _hollow_ it sounded…

Reeve shook his head and stood up. He was reading too much into it.

“Don’t do that shit again ok!” He pointed at Kai, giving him a cold, hard glare. “I don’t want to get caught in your pathetic _helicopters of doom_ or whatever!”

As Reeve walked away from the red-head, continuing to patrol the area. He wondered to himself why he made a reference to Kai’s fire move in the previous run. There was no point to it. Kai wouldn’t get it because he obviously doesn’t remember. They haven’t even figured out how to properly fly at this point.

…Eh, _oh well_. If it confused the guy then he didn’t mind saying it-

“ **Reeve?** ”

He stopped in place, standing as still as a rock.

… _Why did he feel like he fucked up?_ _Big time?_

He slowly turned his head towards the eerie, overly cheerful voice behind him. _No duh it belonged to Kai_ , who smiled at him with glee… _strange_ glee.

_It was kind of scaring him_.

Kai blinked slowly, and once he was sure that he caught the telekinetic’s attention, he opened his mouth and prepared to say one single sentence that would rock Reeve’s world.

“ **Why do you remember my fire move?** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter the same day I first posted this whoopdy doop
> 
> I'm so sorry-


	3. Nearly Butchered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He forgot about the fact that death was supposed to be a permanent thing~

Kai’s question rang through Reeve’s ears, causing him to widen his eyes in confusion.

… _What_?!

**What the _fuck_ does that even _mean_?!**

Stay calm, stay calm… _think_ about this.

… _Does Kai remember the previous run_?

Considering the question, it seems likely. He doesn’t know why the guy is so eerily friendly now, but he can ignore that for now. For now, no matter how much his heart is racing, he’s going to _calmly_ ask questions. He _won’t_ show any weaknesses. _Not_ to his team, and _especially not_ to this annoying little shit.

“…Do you…” He began slowly, some hesitance still lingering within him. “Have you woken up in the bunker before? Have you… _experienced all this before?_ ”

Kai’s eyes widen ever so slightly, although they kept that weird smile on his face. They took a few steps towards Reeve, who kept his stance, although every part of him was telling him he needed to _run_.

“… **How many times have you looped?** ” They asked, standing directly in front of them, and observing their faces. Reeve was only more confused by _that_ question. “… _What do you mean_? This is the first time the game’s reset…”

… _Right_?

… **Was Kai suggesting this wasn’t the first time the game has reset?**

Kai’s smile grew just a bit wider at Reeve’s answer. “…My god!” He shouted, a strange, concerning giggle erupting from his mouth. “ _This is your very first loop huh?!_ ”

The red-head backed away a bit, much to Reeve’s relief, and began to laugh uncontrollably. With each passing second, it sounded less and less like a laugh of amusement and more like the laugh of a mad man.

**Run.**

He _needed_ to run. His gut was _screaming_ at him, telling him something bad was going to happen. But he _just couldn’t move_. _He was paralyzed_.

Kai eventually ceased his giggles, and displayed a deranged, creepy smile to Reeve, his dark eyes piercing through their body. “…How do I know this isn’t just some fluke though?” They questioned, walking close to Reeve once more. “This _could_ just be a one-time thing after all! I don’t really want to get my hopes up…”

Kai stared at him for what seemed like minutes to Reeve, an inquisitive expression on his face as he tapped his finger under his chin. Reeve could barely control his shaking, and his blank face threatened to crack and show the anxiety and worry underneath.

_Why was he so scared of them right now_? His gut _never_ lies to him! And yet it’s reacting to _Kai_ right now. _Kai_ of all people!

He _needs_ to calm down, _Kai can’t hurt him_. _They’re nothing more than a pathetic, weird, and whiny loser_ -

“ _I know!_ ” Kai suddenly shouted, hitting his fist against the palm of his hand. You could almost see the light bulb popping out of his head.

His hand reached inside one of his pockets, and his smile grew as wide as it could possibly get. “ ** _I’ll just kill you and see if you remember in the next loop!_** ”

…

 _Wh_ -

Reeve narrowly dodged the switchblade Kai grabbed, which aimed directly for his head. He could feel a stinging pain as his cheek was sliced, a small splatter of blood landing on Kai’s hand.

**Run.**

**_Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun-_**

He could _barely_ smell the forest around him as he ran through the trees in a frantic hurry. _Holy shit! Oh fuck!_

**Kai was trying to fucking kill him!**

A sudden sharp, horrible pain was felt on his shoulder, and he collapsed onto the dirt ground. He tried in vain to reach for the back of his shoulder, attempting to pull out what he assumed was the switchblade Kai had thrown at him.

He had telekinetic powers, sure, but that fact was completely forgotten in the middle of his panic.

_He was getting dizzy. He was starting to lose blood. Oh god! Oh fuck!_

His attempts at grabbing the blade were ceased as Kai stepped on both on his wrists, causing him to yelp in pain. The force was crushing his wrists.

Kai kneeled down, and yanked the blade out of Reeve’s shoulder. Reeve narrowly managed to hide his pain filled whimper.

“ _Jeez!_ ” Kai shouted out, almost in annoyance. “ _Stay still will you! I can’t get a good clean stab on your head if you run off like that!_ ”

Reeve’s head was forcibly turned to the side, and he stared at the horrifyingly calm Kai, who stared down at him sternly. “Now the next time you see me, I want you to remind me that I killed you ok? Otherwise I’ll just assume it’s a fluke~” His expression was suddenly oddly reassuring, and he lifted his switchblade up, preparing to strike directly into Reeve’s temple.

**_No!_**

**Nonononononononononononono _he doesn’t want to die!_**

**Please don’t kill him! _Please!_**

But none of those sentences were uttered. Instead, Reeve simply broke down into fearful tears, hoping to god that something… _anything_ would save him.

Kai watched Reeve break down with a blank, almost bewildered expression. “… _Dude_ …” Kai began, lowering his weapon down. “Why are you _crying_? _I’m just gonna kill_ _you_?” They said, poking Reeve’s eye with his finger to get their attention. “Stop being such a baby-”

Kai suddenly widened his eyes, a realization filling his mind. Slowly, he stared at Reeve with a sheepish, yet twisted smile on his face. “… _Waaaaaaaaait a minute_!” He began, letting out a few giggles that were dangerously close to giving Reeve a heart attack. “ _God I’m sorry_! I was _way_ to excited to think properly! **_You still have that concept of permanent death, do you?!_** ”

Reeve would have replied to that horrifying question with a “ _What_?” But his vision blurred and blackened as he passed out from the blood loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't fucking stutter when I said that Kai has completely lost it.


	4. Broken Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He really needs to find some over the hill candles~

Reeve woke up with a start, quickly lifting himself up and clinging onto his shoulder like his life depended on it.

He was nearly hyperventilating as he observed his surroundings. He found himself not to be in the middle of a forest, but inside a building of some sort.

Various table sets were spread about the room, and a bar, complete with many bar stools stood in front of a wide stock of various drinks.

_Kai himself_ sat on the bar stool closest to Reeve, staring at him in boredom, and playing with the switchblade in his hand like some _toy_.

The very first thing Reeve did was use his telekinesis to yank the blade out of Kai’s hands and stab them in the shoulder, before levitating it towards himself and backing away as quickly as he could. “ **Stay the fuck away from me!** ” He nearly screamed out, trying his best to appear intimidating, but ultimately, he could not hide the fear in his voice.

Kai didn’t flinch a single molecule at the wound he received. He eyed it blankly, before rolling his eyes and giving Reeve a dark, twisted smile. “I _know_ you’re angry~ but _I really am sorry_ for what I did earlier! _I forgot that you still think dying actually matters_!” Kai attempted to justify himself. Reeve wasn’t buying any of it. “ **I don’t care _what_ you were thinking! _You just tried to fucking kill me_!**” He stated, slowly backing away towards the saloon doors. “ ** _Don’t_ come any closer. I _will_ stab you again in self-defense.**”

Kai, like the lunatic he’s shown himself to be so far, ignored Reeve’s warning and stepped down from the stool he sat on. Walking perfectly normally towards Reeve for someone who has a _still bleeding_ shoulder wound.

Reeve once again used his telekinesis, and flung it towards one of Kai’s legs. He winced at the disgusting squelching sound it made as it pierced through Kai’s leg. They only shivered a tiny bit at the new wound, stopped, and then grabbed the handle of the knife faster than Reeve could pull it away. They yanked it out of their leg with perfect ease, and continued walking towards Reeve like nothing had happened, knife now in hand.

**Fuck!**

Before Reeve could attempt to run away. Kai had already gripped Reeve’s unharmed shoulder tightly, causing him to groan in pain at the intense force. Kai grabbed Reeve’s hand with his other hand, still wielding the knife, and forced the knife into their hands. Pointing it directly at his throat. “ _You have horrible aim._ ” Kai stated with a calm, cold voice, staring at them with dead eyes.

Reeve stood as still as a rock, staring at Kai in horror for what seemed like _hours_ to him.

Eventually He slowly released his grip on the knife, and looked to the side, refusing to meet their gaze. “… _You’re insane._ ” He muttered quietly to himself. Clinging onto his now bandaged shoulder “ _You’re a fucking lunatic._ ”

Kai only giggled in response; it was hollow, and somewhat somber. “ _Thanks~ I try my best!_ ”

The red-head turned on his heel and pranced towards the bar stand, urging Reeve to sit down on one of the stools. Reeve wasn’t about to try and run away again considering Kai still had that knife. So, he slowly made his way towards one of the stools, and sat down.

Kai began to trail his fingers along the many stocked bottles that rested on the shelf. “I imagine you have _many_ questions.” They started a conversation with a light, happy-go-lucky voice. “So go ahead and ask them…and while you’re at it, are you more of a _wine_ fan or a _vodka_ fan? I’m more akin to _vodka_ myself but who knows what your tastes are.”

Reeve perked up at Kai offering to answer his questions, and cleared his dry throat. “…We’re _teens_ Kai. We…shouldn’t be drinking _at all_ …and I suppose my first question is… _how long has this been going on_?” He paused in thought, wondering if he should add more to clarify. “…You said I was on my first loop… _so does that mean you’ve been repeating the game more times than I have_?” He decided on a yes.

“…Vodka it is then!” Kai lilted out, pouring two glasses, one full to the brim, and the other only partially full. He filled the rest of the other one with water, gently shaking it side to side to mix it. “And yeah. I’ve been remembering the loops for…god uh…I should probably explain something first…” He placed the two cups on the bar stool, and pushed the watered down one towards Reeve, who took it hesitantly, not wanting to accidentally set the red-head off somehow.

“So here’s the thing.” Kai began his explanation, taking a big sip out of his own glass, and leaning his elbows against the bar stand. “5 hours in real life equals 5 in game days. Therefore 1 day in real life equals 24 days, and 1 month in real life equals around 2 months, and one year in real life equals 24 in game years. _I can go on and on about this._ ”

“ _Please don’t_.” Reeve deadpanned, letting out a shaky sigh. “I understand just…answer my question, how long have you been remembering the loops?”

“The answer depends on whether you’re asking how long I’ve been here in _game years_ or in _real years_.”

Reeve’s heart _froze_.

**Years?!**

**Kai’s been remembering loops for more than a year?!**

**They’ve all be stuck here for more than a year?!**

“…Just give me both.” Reeve decided with a shaky voice. Closing his eyes and preparing for the number Kai would utter.

“Y’know you’re pretty lucky!” Kai giggled out with a twisted smile. “ **Today's the 50 th year anniversary of me first waking up in that bunker!** At least in game years! **I think that equals a bit more than two years in the real world~** ”

_Reeve fucking choked_.

**Holy shit!**

**That’s so much fucking worse than he thought!**

He glanced at Kai, who smiled like a madman, as usual, and suddenly their behavior made sense. _He’d probably snap too if he spent decades in this place!_

There was still that strong, lingering fear he had of Kai. They _did_ try to kill him earlier after all…but now there was something else… _pity_. Pity for a kid his age, who’s very _mind_ had been torn to pieces by a series of unfortunate events.

Another question burned into his mind at this response as well, which he expressed. “…How do you even-”

But he was shushed by Kai’s finger, and they walked away from behind the bar table, sitting on a bar stool directly next to Reeve. “In fact…” They began, spinning the glass with their hand and watching the liquid inside form and shape into the cup. “ _Let me tell you the story of my very first run~ I’m feeling sentimental!_ ”

And that was how he got himself into his current situation. Staring at a crazy eyed Kai in fear and worry, as they began to rant on and on about all the things they could do together.

Reeve didn’t listen to _any_ of their ramblings. He only thought of what the Kai used to be like _before all of this_.

_Because the Kai sitting before him_ , laughing their ass off and completely ignoring the two stab wounds on their body, which they somehow hadn’t succumb to yet, _wasn’t the Kai he was supposed to have met in this game._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose this is the end of the basic introduction and the beginning of the story in a sense.
> 
> Stayed tuned!


	5. Teasing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knows exactly how to push their buttons! It's always fun to see their reaction~

Kai’s insane laughter slowly drowned away as they fell off the stool they were sitting on and landed to the floor with a thud, convulsing slightly as blood poured out of their shoulder and leg.

_Reeve spoke too soon about Kai not succumbing to their injuries_.

**…Fuck!**

Reeve jumped off his stool as fast as he could and crouched down towards Kai, worry bubbling inside him as he twisted their body to face him. “ **Shit!** ” He shouted out, looking frantically around the saloon he was in. “ **You patched me up didn’t you? Where are the bandages?** ”

“Dunno.” Was what Kai mumbled out, laying limply in Reeve’s arms in apathy.

“ **What do you _mean_ you don’t know?! Where did you last see it?! _Come on Kai your dying_!**”

“ _Cool._ ”

Reeve’s breathing hitched as he stared wide eyed at the increasingly delirious Kai.

“… _’m bored o this run anways_ …”

Reeve bit his lip in frustration, and abruptly stood up, sprinting around the room and searching through the drawers and compartments around the saloon. He gave a sigh of relief when he finally found the bandages in one of the shelves under the bar, and raced back towards Kai as fast as he could.

He hurriedly pulled Kai’s shirt off. Revealing their shoulder wound, which was about as bad as he expected it to be. “… _Idiot_.” He muttered as he began wrapping the wound. “Why didn’t you dodge?”

“I love how you assume that I _could_ have dodged.” Kai almost whispered, giving Reeve a tired smirk.

“Am I right?”

“… _Yeah_.” Kai let out a small giggle, his smirk widening. “I could have _easily_ kept my grip on the knife when you tried to pull it away.”

“Why did you let it go then?” Reeve questioned as he tore the bandage and tied it to Kai’s shoulder, his frustration increasing.

“Cause I was _bored_.” They stated matter-a-factually. “I wanted to see if you actually had the guts to stab me.”

“…Y-you’re…so _stupid_!” Reeve hissed out, throwing the bandage to the ground in anger. “You make _no_ sense… _god your infuriating_!”

“Then let me die.” Kai muttered out, his eyes darkening and staring at Reeve tauntingly. “Better yet, _kill me if you want_. I’m _sure_ it’d be fun for you to cut off this oh so annoying tongue of mine~” The taunting caused Reeve to growl even more in frustration. _Why_ is Kai acting like this?! It's _horrifying_! _~~It's worrying him!~~_ “I may hate you, but I’m not a _monster_.”

“ _Liar_.”

Reeve raised his head up and glanced at Kai with confusion. The redhead stared back blankly, a small frown on his face.

“ **Sometimes you hit Adam with the Ishibo so hard he dies instantly**.”

…

Reeve had nothing to say to that.

… _Reeve had no excuse for that_.

“…You’re not gonna justify yourself?” Kai asked with a slightly raised eyebrow. Reeve ignored his question, and reached for kai’s pants, asking his own question with his eyes that Kai answered with a nod. Reeve pulled their pants down, and began to wrap the leg wound.

“… _Never mind then_.” Kai stated, his frown lessening somewhat as he focused his gaze towards the ceiling. “You’re not what I thought you were.”

A long, drawn out silence filled the room as Reeve continued to bandage Kai’s leg. His nerves were somewhat calmed from the conversation, and so he didn’t hurry as much. It was only when he tore at the bandage with his teeth and tied it together that Kai broke the silence. “…did Vanessa tell you to do it?” He asked, still staring at the ceiling blankly.

Reeve slowly nodded a yes. “…She took me aside while we were in the ice castle and explained to me what we should do if Adam and Mira came back…She had to remind me more than three times that all of this was “just a game” and that Adam would be fine before I finally agreed.” He stared off to the side, the very memory making him cringe. “…When I did it I… _felt so horrible_.”

“…If that’s the case, you’re a _very_ good actor.” Kai commented, slowly sitting up and staring at Reeve with a small smirk plastered on his face. “In all the runs where Adam dies instantly, you try to act all tough and unbothered by it.”

“…I don’t like showing any weaknesses.” Reeve stated, glaring at Kai. “It only gives people a way to backstab you.”

“…You can trust me~” Kai suggested, scooting closer to him, _way_ too close, their face was inches apart from Reeves. “I mean, we’re in the same boat after all~”

“I _already_ let my guard down around you, and guess what? _You literally stabbed me in the back you crazy bastard_.”

Kai pouted at Reeve’s retort. “ _Aw_ … _fine_. I understand.” Their pout slowly turned into a teasing smirk as they glanced at their legs. They raised their head towards Reeve’s ear, whispering a sentence that nearly made Reeve choke. “…Should I put my pants back on before Vanessa and Skeet walk in and assume we’re _a thing_ or…?”

Reeve looked at Kai’s exposed thighs for a few moments, and then proceeded to push them away faster than they could let out another giggle. He stood up abruptly, turned on his heel, and began stomping towards the saloon doors. “ _Fucking creep_.” He muttered under his breath, blushing ever so slightly in embarrassment.

“Look! We’re getting along _so_ well~ I can already feel a friendship blooming-”

“I’m only being nice to you because I pity you you know.” Reeve stood in place and gave his statement to the red-head, glaring sternly at him. “I _don’t_ want to be your friend, but since you’re the only person that seems to know what the fuck is going on here, I’ll _tolerate_ you.”

“ _I’m not the only person with information y’know_.”

… _Huh?_

Reeve widened his eyes at the revelation. Kai’s playful smirk grew wider in response. “You can always ask _Gustaf_ your questions.”

“… _Who’s Gustaf_?” Reeve questioned, confusion bubbling inside him.

Kai raised his eyebrows, and let out a low giggle. “I’ll give you a hint, _he has purple skiiiiiiin~_ ”

Not a moment later, Reeve burst out through the saloon doors, sprinting down the stairway and preparing to shout the loudest “Help please!” he had ever shouted in his entire life.

But before he could even utter a single syllable, a finger tapped his good shoulder. He twisted his body towards the stranger behind him, raising his fists defensively.

…Only to see Weirdo…or he supposed _Gustaf_ himself standing there, his glasses in hand, and his gaze somber and somewhat relieved.

“…Oh thank god.” They sighed out. “I thought you’d _never_ leave that building.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the most reasonable person in the fic! Weirdo himself! give a round of applause!
> 
> You're welcome and I'm sorry for this chapter folks-


	6. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He can't stand that man's lying face.

“…Wait.” Reeve began, staring at “Gustaf” in confusion. “You don’t have to be called in order to _magically_ appear or whatever?”

Gustaf nodded a yes to Reeves question, stepping down from the stairway to get closer to the teen’s level. “Yeah. The whole “help please” thing is just to make the game more interesting for the audience, and more difficult for the players.”

Reeve bit his lip in response, staring down to the ground as a revelation filled inside his mind, “…So…we’re actually in a video game?” Reeve asked. Beforehand he was just going by what Vanessa had told him…but now that it’s been confirmed by two other people…there’s no tiny lingering doubt anymore.

_Reeve really was in a video game._

“ _Yeah._ ” Gustaf answered simply. “ _I’m_ the host of the game show…I’m not stuck in the game like _you_ if you’re thinking that! I connect to the game differently than you do…” Gustaf let out a small sigh, and stared off to the side in dejection. “…I’ve been watching this go on for _years_ … _this_ …has pretty much become my life now. I _live_ in the hollow headquarters. Have a bed and everything.”

…

… _Anger_.

Reeve could feel nothing but anger in that moment.

“ _…If you know what’s going on…_ ” He muttered out shakily. “ ** _Then why aren’t you doing anything to fix it?!_** ” He swore the shout that followed could be heard 30 feet away.

Gustaf flinched a bit at Reeve’s sudden outburst. Nevertheless, they didn’t seem to be too bothered by it. “We’re _are_ doing everything in our power to fix it.” Gustaf began to explain. “After _that sadist_ changed and messed with the code, he somehow put some weird glitch or…virus into the game. We’ve been trying to get information out of him for years on how to get rid of it, because it’s preventing us from accessing most of the files we need in order to fix this problem!” Gustaf surfed his hand through his hair, shaking his head ever so slightly. “But there’s been _nothing_ so far. He keeps saying he doesn’t know what we’re talking about, _that he never even put a virus in there in_ _the first place_ , but-”

“ _Woah woah woah_!” Reeve raised his hands towards Gustaf, gesturing them to shut their mouth for a moment. “ _Hold the fucking phone_! _Slow down a bit_. _Who_? _This situation we’re in wasn’t an accident_?”

“First off, _watch your language young man_.” Gustaf poked Reeve’s chest, giving him a stern glare. “Second off… _I’ll need a place to sit down for that story_. Every time I even _think_ about _that_ mess it makes me want to hurl…”

Reeve let out a shaky sigh, and surfed his hands through his hair. “…Alright then.” Reeve nearly whispered out, walking up the stairs and pacing his hand against the saloon doors. “Let’s head in the saloon-”

“Oh _nononononononononononononononono_.” Gustaf shook his head vigorously. “I _really_ shouldn’t go in there.” Reeve raised an eyebrow at this. “…Why? You don’t like the smell of alcohol or something?”

Gustaf pinched the bridge of his nose, and walked up the stairway, standing behind Reeve meekly. “…L-listen…jut open the doors and tell Kai I’m coming in; you’ll understand pretty soon.”

Reeve’s confusion only increased from Gustaf’s vague explanations, but he nonetheless did as he was told. He swung the saloon doors open, and was greeted with a possibly thoroughly drunk Kai, sitting on one of the bar stools and surrounded by 4 empty glass bottles.

The red head raised his head towards Reeve with a silly smile, letting out a small hiccup. “…Ha! I kne youd com bakc!” He slurred out between hiccups and giggles, swerving the stool towards Reeve’s direction, his face almost as red as his hair. “Im jsut that irisistab-“

Kai stared hard at the game show host behind Reeve, his face morphing from surprise to _the most livid expression Reeve had ever seen_. In the span of 5 seconds, Kai went from “the world is fun and I’m having a good time!” to “ _I’m going to fucking kill someone_.”

Reeve almost wetted himself right there, Kai’s glare was _that_ terrifying.

“…U-uh…” Reeve coughed out, his body shaking like a leaf as he avoided looking specifically at Kai. “G-Gustaf’s…gonna come in and explain what’s going on to me.”

The drawn-out silence that followed did nothing to ease Reeve’s nerves. Gustaf only stared off to the side, his head too lowered for Reeve to discern his expression.

Finally, _thank god_ , Kai reacted. He stood up from the stool, a half empty drink in his hand, and threw the said drink onto the floor, shattering it into thousands of pieces. Before Reeve could even properly react, Kai was already stomping up the stairs towards the second floor of the saloon. The sound of a door being slammed shut was heard from above, and silence then filled the building.

“…Me and Kai… _don’t_ _get along that well_.” Gustaf stated shortly afterwards, cautiously stepping into the saloon. “ _I waited for you to leave the saloon_ _for a reason_.” Reeve stared at Gustaf with wide eyes, gawking. “… _What happened_?” He hesitantly asked, clinging onto his arm as the question swirled in his mind.

“Listen, kid. I just… _I don’t want to talk about it_ …” Gustaf turned his head towards Reeve, his gaze somber, and almost hopeless. “Maybe some other time but…not right now.”

Gustaf filled Reeve in on the basics.

Supposedly the 6 of them were in this live game show called The Hollow, which, during the time they first entered the game, had been going on for few years without any big problems. The premise is that two teams of three must complete all tasks and defeat the boss without any memories about themselves. Whoever does so first is the winner.

The lead coder of the game, who had just got his promotion, was this man name Fredrick. He seemed like a nice man. He did his job well, and he was very encouraging and a ray of sunshine to the rest of the development team. That’s why he got the promotion to lead coder after all.

On his first day working however, when Reeve and Kai’s team were going to play. he messed with the code and changed _quite_ a lot of things. Normally in a The Hollow Game, you don’t really _feel_ the pain of death, you instead dissipate into nothing along with your team.

However, Fredrick added something into the code…he added _death_ into the game. No longer was there that unrealistic video game death. You could now straight up experience _real life_ _death_ in the game. You’d be _fine_ of course. Without the loop, you’d just be disconnected from the game and go back to real life like usual, but it was still horrifying. He also added a few more things, alcohol, drugs, basically a heck tone of dangerous and inappropriate stuff that shouldn’t belong in a game played by teens. He was aiming for some _grim_ realism, that’s for sure.

Technically, the above wouldn’t be so bad. He probably would have just gotten fired, and possibly gotten a lawsuit if one of the kids had gotten PTSD from a not so pleasant death… _if it weren’t for the finishing touch Fredrick added_.

 _He altered the code to make the game loop over and over again_.

A few hours into the game, when it was clear what was going on. It didn’t take long for the code alterations to be traced back to Fredrick. He didn’t justify himself. When asked why he did it, he only said that he wanted to have some fun.

He was sentenced to a entire life in prison, after a month without any progress in fixing the situation. The psychopath has been locked in a room at The Hollow headquarters ever since. Reeve, Kai, and the other kids’ bodies are currently resting in the same place where they connected to the game years ago, kept away from starvation through tubes and observed by doctors and nurses.

“Like I said earlier, the only reason the 6 of you are still here now is because of the glitch. It’s been messing with the files all on its own, and we don’t know how to get passed it.” Gustaf stated, letting out a small sigh as he relaxed on the stool he was sitting on. “We _know_ he _had_ to have added it in, but no matter how much we interrogate him he _refuses_ to crack…when and _if_ he eventually does give us the solution to the glitch problem, it’ll still take quite a while to get past the technical obstacles he’s set up to prevent us from doing the job _quickly_. Probably close to a month.”

“…That’s… _disgusting_.” Reeve stated, staring at his clasped together hands in disbelief. “…What kind of person would _do_ something like that? He _seriously_ said he did it just for fun?” Reeve raised his head up towards Gustaf, his gaze pleading them to tell him it was all a joke. “He seriously just did it because he thought trapping us here and making us suffer would be _funny_?”

“…Yes…” Gustaf answered “He showed his true colors after he was arrested. He was always _gleefully_ happy to hear about all of your and the others suffering…” He surfed his hand through his hair, staring at the floor blankly. “…it’s gotten much more difficult lately to interrogate him after he met Kai a few months ago. The man has completely shut down; nightmares about the event every single night.”

“… _Wait_.” Reeve began, his eyebrow raised in confusion. “… _Kai met this Fredrick guy_?”

Gustaf jumped slightly, his eyes widening, almost like he wasn’t aware of what he was saying until now. He covered his mouth, looking like he was going to throw up on the spot. “I didn’t mean to say that.” They muttered out shakily. “Ignore what I just-”

“ _You can’t just leave it there_!” Reeve shouted, sliding out of the bar stool he sat on and glaring at him with a tight frown. “ _What happened_ -”

“ **I just can’t!** ” Gustaf shouted, almost curling up into himself, shaking ever so slightly. “I…It isn’t _my_ story to tell anyways. _I_ was just an observer… _If you want answers, go to Kai_.”

Reeve bit his lip and stared off to the side in response, frustration and anger boiling inside of him at being kept in the dark.

After a few moments, Gustaf seemed to recover somewhat, and gazed at Reeve with a pleading look. “…Speaking of Kai…listen Reeve, I _know_ you hate him but…please, _please_ keep him company.” They clapped their hands together, almost as if they were praying to a god. “Out of _pity_ at the least. The poor boy has pretty much been isolated emotionally for _years_. _He needs you_. He may make it _seem_ like he’s just using you as a fresh new play-thing, _but he needs your company_ , _and he himself probably knows it_.”

Reeve didn’t reply. He bit his cheeks, and subtly shook his head. “No way.” He stated stubbornly. “ _I’m not messing with crazy_.”

Gustaf let out a small sigh, and facepalmed, his pleading gaze strengthening. “ _You need him too you know_.” He stated. “ _Isolation isn’t healthy Reeve_. You have _a choice_ to connect with someone who’s suffering the same situation as you are. _Kai didn’t have a choice_ , and _that’s_ why he’s the way he is now. _If you go down his route_ , _you’ll become just like him_.”

Reeve’s eyes widened at this accusation, and he glanced around the room, the phrase ringing in his head and filling his heart with nothing but worry.

“…Look, I’m not asking you to be all buddy-buddy with him. We all saw him trying to kill you earlier. We understand why you’re scared-”

“ _I’m not scared_.”

“ _Hey_! Don’t interrupt people when they’re talking. _Rude_ …anyways, We understand why you’re… _hesitant_ , but all you really have to do is keep him company and respond to what he says. You don’t have to be nice to him. I’m pretty sure he himself couldn’t care _less_ about how you treat him. _You existing at all is enough to make him happy_.” A small, strained smile spread on Gustaf’s face, and he stared off into the distance, reminiscing. “…I haven’t seen Kai this excited in _years_ …He _really_ wants to connect with you Reeve. He’s just… _a bit torn up in the head from this situation_ , so he can’t express it normally.”

“ _A bit_?” Reeve’s rhetorical question only caused Gustaf to shrug his shoulders, depression clear on his expression.

“… _Fine_.” Reeve sighed out in defeat. “I’ll hang out with him. Not like I have anything better to do anyways…”

Gustaf let out an exaggerated sigh, and practically slid down the bar stool he sat on. “ _Oooooooh thank god_!” A second later he sprung up, putting on his sunglasses and preparing to snap his fingers. “On that note! I bid you farewell. The Hollow team is doing everything they can to get all of you out of here, so just hang in there for now. If you have any questions, just call my name… _preferably when Kai’s not around_. He _tolerates_ me when the others are with him but… _yeah_. See ya!”

In the next instant, Gustaf was gone. Reeve was left to ponder the information that was just dumped on him, and the promise he was already starting to regret somewhat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Info dump the chapter. Stay tuned for more of this shit!


	7. Two-faced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He lost the innocent him long ago, but he still remembers how to be like him.

Reeve slowly tiptoed up the stairs, to the second floor of the saloon. He clung onto the wall and observed his surroundings, noting the set of doorways on each side next to him. 6 rooms in total.

He spent a good while cautiously opening each door and peaking inside, only to find no familiar red-head to greet him. Reeve was getting thoroughly frustrated by the time he got to the last door, and decided to abandon his cautious approach, swinging the door open carelessly.

His confusion grew as he beholds…another empty room. It seemed to have been used, at the sheets on the bed were rather messy, and has a blood splotch on it for some reason, so Kai had to have been inside…did he jump out the window and fly away?

Reeve looked behind himself for a few moments, pondering for a moment where Kai even was. He then focused his gaze back towards the room, deciding he should just walk in and search through the area for clues-

Kai stood directly in front of him, his face blank and ominous.

“ _Boo_.”

Reeve was instantly ashamed of the girlish scream that escaped his mouth as he fell to the ground, completely startled out of his wits.

“ **DON’T FUCKING DO THAT!** ” He shouted not a moment later, fury filling his mind to replace his embarrassment at being caught off guard. Kai only laughed and snorted; their eyes shut tight as they pointed at him. “Y-you should have seen the look on your face!” He mustered out between giggle fits. “It was the _exact_ same face you make when the ice giant impales you with an icicle!”

… _When the what does what_?

Reeve’s anger slowly dissipated, and once more he was feeling that discomfort, as he was reminded of the marbles Kai had lost. They offered their hand to him, which he took reluctantly. “…What are you talking about?” Reeve couldn’t help but ask as he was pulled up.

Kai blinked for a few moments, before waving his hand lazily. “Oh don’t worry about it, previous loop, you don’t even remember.” With a still rather flushed face from the alcohol, they skipped towards the bed and collapsed on top of it, sighing contently. “I’ve been killed like that few times myself. _It hurts like hell_. I usually just end up stabbing myself to make the death quicker…speaking of death.” Kai propped himself up a bit by his elbows, staring at Reeve lazy eyed. “We really need to fix that “permanent death concept” of yours. The quicker you get over it the less of a bad time your going to have for your first _deadly_ loops.”

Reeve only stared off to the side, closing the door halfway behind him, and leaning softly against it as he clung onto the handle. Kai stared at Reeve blankly for a few moments, before a realization seemed to struck him. “…Then again, you _do_ have _Gustaf_ now, so I imagine you don’t want to hang out with _me_.” They stated emotionlessly, trailing their fingers around the blood splotch on the sheets they laid on. “ _So why are you here_? _You were pretty loud y’know_ , shuffling around and opening those doors.”

Reeve widened his eyes in surprise. Sure, he accidentally made the floor boards creak a bit, but he was _sure_ he was quite as a mouse…

“…Gustaf forced me to hang out with you.” Reeve sighed out bluntly, his frustration apparent on his face.

“ _You mean he begged you to hang out with me like a dog and you ended up saying yes out of pity_.”

Reeve widened his eyes at the accusation. “Wh-”

“Gustaf wouldn’t force anyone to do _anything_ , he’s too much of a little bitch.” Kai stated, gazing at Reeve in boredom. “Even if I didn’t hear the conversation from below, I would have known you were lying. Your voice raises in pitch a tiny bit whenever you lie” They rolled their eyes, letting out a sigh of annoyance and muttering something under their breath. “Surprised I can actually trust that bastard for _something_.”

“My voice does _not_ get higher when I lie!” Reeve tried to defend himself, his voice slightly higher than usual. “Don’t act like you know me! You know _nothing_ about me!”

“You say to the guy who has seen you do the _exact_ same eye-roll in response to the _exact_ same situation thousands of times for _decades_. _I know more about you than you know yourself_.” Kai justified himself in pride, giving them a cocky smirk.

“Oh yeah?” Reeve asked, stomping towards Kai and crossing his arms, glaring at them with a wide frown. “Prove it! Name five things about me people usually wouldn’t know!”

“Your favorite color is actually purple, you’re just too much of a wimp to admit you like a color other people would usually consider girly. You have arachnophobia. You have a birthmark on your shoulder shaped like New Jersey. Vanessa secretly scares you…” Kai finished off his list by pointing at Reeve’s crotch, smirking at him teasingly. “And it’s 6.3 inches when it’s feeling stressed. Congratulations, your bigger than Adam.”

Reeve blushed significantly, and pulled the hem of his shirt over his crotch defensively. “ _H-how do you even know that last one?_ ”

Kai stared at Reeve’s face for a moment, and then glanced to the side with thinned lips. “What happens in a loop stays in a loop.”

Kai’s response naturally horrified Reeve, but he shrugged it off as another question burned into his mind. “…Wait, _how do you know it’s bigger than Adam’s_ -”

“ _What happens in a loop stays in a loop_.” Kai repeated, his gaze slowly turning into a glare. Reeve knew right then to drop the topic; he was getting nowhere with it. “…Jokes on you!” Reeve coughed out. “You got one wrong! I don’t have arachnophobia!” He said with a wide cocky smirk, glaring at Kai with glee. Sure, he _technically_ was much more freaked out by those mutant spiders than Skeet and Vanessa, and it may have caused him to act out and tear off a few of the spider chief’s limbs, but he wouldn’t say he was _afraid_ of spiders. Anything could be out to get you in this game! He was just being cautious!

“Yes you do.” Kai stated bluntly, lifting himself up and scooting off the bed. Reeve shook his head, his smirk growing wider. “ _Nope_ , I don’t!”

Kai walked towards one of the corners of the room and lifted his hand up towards a spider web, letting the black widow climb onto his finger. He glanced at Reeve, who’s eyes were shut tight as he reveled in his victory, before quickly stepping towards him and shoving the finger close to his face.

Reeve opened his eyes for a few seconds, and gazed at the spider that rested calmly on Kai’s finger for only a few milliseconds before he backed away as fast as he could, collapsing onto the floor and screaming bloody murder.

“Yes you do.” Kai stated once again, his face blank, and almost mocking in a way. Reeve was quick to justify himself. “No! I don’t! _Anyone_ would be startled if you shoved a spider up their face!”

Kai raised his eyebrows at Reeve’s futile attempt of defending himself, and began to walk towards them, slowly bringing the spider closer to their face. Reeve felt his entire mind panic, and he began to back away frantically, whimpering in fear.

When Kai saw their reaction, they stood in place, glanced at the spider, and then _slowly_ cooked it alive with their fire powers. The little ball of legs was burnt to a crisp, and its body collapsed onto the floor, lifeless. “ _Yes you do_.” Kai stated one final time, a demented smirk of victory plastered on their face.

Before Reeve could even respond, the two boys heard an all too familiar voice shout for their names. “Kai! Reeve!” Vanessa yelled out from the stairway, glaring at them sternly. “What the fuck _happened_?! You two were supposed to have come back _hours_ ago!” Skeet followed close behind, peaking behind Vanessa with a curious stare. “…Did we miss something?” He questioned, staring at Reeve, who was still lying on the floor.

Kai answered Reeve’s question for him. “ _Yeah_! I was just about to burn this asshole’s eyebrows off!” They stated in annoyance, rolling their eyebrows. “The dude thought he heard something in the saloon and forced me to search around the building with him. _He’s way to bossy_!”

Reeve noted how the dark, dead shadow surrounding Kai’s eyes had disappeared, and how his voice seemed much more controlled and consistent. In an instant, Kai’s mask was slipped back on, and he played his role as the goofy, slightly annoying, and clueless Kai. The Kai that Kai portrayed himself to be.

Reeve quickly took the hint when Kai glanced at him for a few seconds, almost as if saying “Your turn, _make it convincing_.” Reeve quickly stood up, and brushed the dust off of his shoulders, faking a pissed off glare. “What would you want dip-shit? To die, or to give up your pride for more than 5 seconds and live to see another day?”

“Break it up you two!” Vanessa commanded with a frown. “It’s almost light. We should be heading out to find that tree. Hopefully we’ll find your friends along the way Kai.” Her demeanor instantly changed, giving Kai a hopefully, overly friendly gaze.

Kai made a love struck face, staring at Vanessa fondly, but Reeve knew it was fake. His eyes were unfocused, almost as if he was bored, and heard the same exact phrase thousands of times before. “Y-yeah! Hopefully…We should probably get the Ishibo from that weird guy though, right?” They suggested as they tilted their head.

“…Actually Kai…there’s something I need to show you…” Vanessa look behind herself, staring at Skeet, who pulled out the Ishibo from behind their back.

The gasp that Kai let out made Reeve cringe. It was _obviously_ fake, but Vanessa and Skeet seemed to buy it. Reeve only watched, a mixture of various uncomfortable feelings bubbling inside him as Kai pretended to be angry at Vanessa and Skeet, and then pretended to calm down when Vanessa explained herself.

The Kai that stood before him, laughing like an idiot and making another stupid pun, _was nothing more than a lie_.

It wasn’t long before the group of four were traveling through that desert, the sun slowly rising behind them.

“…Why don’t we just tell them?” Reeve whispered his question to Kai, watching Vanessa and Skeet hit it off in the distance.

“ _What would be the point_?” Kai answered back, dropping his façade for a second to address Reeve. “They’ll just think we’re crazy, and that’s annoying to deal with. Even if they _did_ believe us, they’d just forget next loop. We’d have to constantly go through the process of convincing them to believe us, and that’s even _more_ annoying to deal with… _It’s best to just let them stay blissfully unaware_.”

Kai slipped into his persona once more, and sprinted up towards Vanessa and Skeet, joining in on their lively conversation.

Reeve, after many hours of pondering, understood where Kai was coming from, but disliked the answer regardless.

 _He wasn’t sure if he could keep up such a lie for too long_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> f in the chat for the spider


	8. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knows he's lost his mind, he finally realized how deep in insanity he was after THAT incident.

Reeve quietly shut the outpost door behind him, snug in his warm, comfy coat as the freezing wind blew against his face.

Skeet had suggested to take a small nap inside the outpost they found in the polar desert. “I need to rest my legs after all that walking! They gotta be in ship-shape you know!” Vanessa rolled her eyes as Skeet’s laziness, but nonetheless agreed, and passed out against one of the walls shortly afterwards.

Reeve laid on the floor, trying to shut his brain up. It wasn’t the slightly uncomfortable feeling of the floorboards that forced his eyes open, it was the thoughts that kept him up. After everything he had been told, he was still somewhat processing it.

He didn’t feel real in the moment, he felt like a ghost, floating above his body, watching this shit go down in confusion and worry…if that metaphor even made sense.

He was interrupted from his out of body experience by the sound of the outpost door slowly being opened, and then gently being shut. He lifted himself up, and observed his surroundings, only to find Kai gone. A coat lying lazily on the nearby chest.

That was how Reeve got to where he was now, holding the discarded coat in his hand and stomping up towards the huge glacier Kai somehow managed to climb up on. He was covered in snow by the time he finally reached the top, and it only took 4 tries.

Kai sat on the edge of the cliff, his legs waving back and forth, and his lands clinging onto the icy ground without the slightest bit of shaking, completely unbothered by the cold wind that blew against his cheeks.

Reeve stared at the idiotic red-head for few moments, before forcefully shoving the coat he held at them. “You’re going to get hypothermia _dumbass_.” He stated bluntly, refusing to stare at their blank, emotionless face any longer.

Kai slowly took the coat, and wrapped it around his body without a word, paying no attention to the hand that gave him the coat in the first place. “… _So no thank you or anything_?” He attempted to get something, _anything_ out of them. Because as much as he hated it when Kai talked, he was slowly realizing now that he hated it _even more_ when they didn’t speak at all, ~~because it worried him.~~

But there was no response.

Reeve let out a shaky sigh, and collapsed onto the icy ground, extending his legs over the edge of the cliff and sitting down lazily next to Kai. Not too close though, he wouldn’t touch Kai if he was given 20 grand.

“Fire powers.” Kai finally stated, his voice soft, and almost somber. Reeve instantly got was Kai was trying to say. “Just because you’re a walking breathing flamethrower doesn’t mean you should walk out into Antarctica and embrace the icy wind like you’re in some Victorian novel.” They sighed out, curling up into a fetal position to keep themselves warm.

“Are you going to hit Adam with the Ishibo again?”

…

Reeve was completely caught off guard by the question. But that didn’t mean he didn’t have an answer.

“No.” Reeve finally stated after a small silence.

Tiny giggles erupted from the red-heads mouth, and Reeve watched them finally turn their head towards him, smiling playfully. “This will be exciting~” They began. “In all my runs I’ve _never_ been able to prevent Adam from getting hit with the Ishibo. It’s like it’s his destiny!” The lifted their arms up, and stretched them, letting out a content groan. “This will be _new_. And new is always _fun_.”

“… _So you don’t actually care about Adam almost dying_?” Reeve finally asked after a moment of processing the question. Kai shrugged in response. “He’ll be _fine_. Even if he dies, I’ll see him again in the next loop, _it’d be pointless to care_.”

“…Why are you up here anyways?”

The silence that followed Reeve’s next question unsettled him. He was relieved when Kai finally opened his mouth to answer the question.

“…Sorry, did you say something? I can’t hear you very well right now; _the screams are drowning everything out._ ”

…

Reeve slowly covered his lips with his hand, slowly breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth in an attempt to calm himself down. “That’s actually why I’m up here.” Kai began to explain. “It’s not bad right now but pretty soon it’s going to get so loud I won’t be able to think properly; I don’t want to freak the others out.”

“…This…happens a lot?”

“ _Yeah_.”

An uncomfortable silence hung between the two for quite a while, before Kai eventually broke it, his voice louder, and shakier than usual. “ _You should go back inside the outpost._ ” They didn’t even bother to explain why, but Reeve knew.

He didn’t leave, he stayed put, staring out into the snowy barren wasteland before them. He could hear Kai’s breathing get more frantic, and saw them curl up into a tight ball out of the corner of his eye.

“…Y-y’know.” Kai muttered out, his voice strangely tuned, as if he couldn’t properly hear his voice anymore. “F-for someone w-ho seems to hate me s-so much…y-you’re pretty nice t-to me a-at times.”

Reeve focused his gaze on Kai’s vibrating form, watching their body convulse and listening to the noises they emitted from their throats, which sounded like a combination of giggles and sobs.

In that moment, Reeve once again felt pity…and something else he couldn’t pinpoint.

And so, going against his previous statement, he scooted closer to them, and gentle rubbed their shoulder in a comforting motion. Kai, startled by the contact, jerked his body away, but after a second attempt, he relaxed somewhat.

Kai calmed down after 2 minutes, which they quietly noted was unusually short. Reeve and Kai slid down the glacier and sneaked back inside the outpost without a single word.

Shortly afterwards, the group of four continued on their way through the polar desert, stopping in front of a strange ice castle, which Vanessa decided would be a good place to explore.

Both Reeve and Kai knew what was awaiting them in there. Reeve glanced at Kai for a few seconds, asking a silent question. Kai answered by putting their finger in front of their mouth, silently shushing him.

After a few minutes of wandering around the castle, Vanessa commanded Skeet and Kai to rest at a certain spot, while she talked with Reeve.

Reeve internally sighed as he followed Vanessa to a secluded area from afar. _God, not this conversation again_.

“Ok Reeve, here’s the plan.” Vanessa began. “If Mira and Adam come back, we lull them into a false sense of security for a while, and then we use the Ishibo on Adam.” She smacked his fist against the palm of her hand, giving Reeve a small smirk. “Without their leader, Kai and Mira won’t be able to do anything, and they’ll easily lose _somehow_. If we _don’t_ see Adam and Mira however, and reach the tree with Kai, we simply use the Ishibo on him, and make our way towards the exit…any questions?”

“…Why do you want to “win” this “game” so much?” Reeve finally asked. As he listened to Vanessa’s explanation, a realization struck him.

… _How does she even know this is a game in the first place_? When Reeve and Skeet asked quite a while ago why she thought it was a game, she said she was just assuming. If _so_ however, that would be a rather reckless action, and Vanessa is anything _but_ reckless, at least as far as he’s known her.

“Duh! If we’re in a video game, then there’s a prize at the end!” Vanessa justified her reasoning with excited eyes. “Fame, money, a trophy, _recognition_! Come on Reeve! Don’t you want that?” She placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him puppy dog eyes. “Imagine, there might even be an audience watching all this! Cheering for our victory!”

 **Reeve was going to fucking scream**.

She was _so clueless_ ; it was _so_ _sad_. She had _no idea_ , _absolutely no idea how fucked their situation was right now_.

This pink haired girl before him was acting on a wish that would _never_ be granted, a wish that had died long ago.

 _He wants to tell her so bad_.

… _So why doesn’t he_? _Kai isn’t the boss of him_! _He can do what he wants_!

“…Vanessa.” Reeve began, giving the girl a pitying glance. “There’s no trophy waiting for you outside the game… _not anymore_.”

Vanessa removed her hand from Reeve’s shoulder, staring at him in confusion. “…W…what do you mean?”

Reeve told her the basics. A bad man messed with the game code before the six of them entered the game, and made it harder for them, as well as trapping them in the game. They’ve been in the game for 2 real life years now, and they haven’t been removed yet because a strange glitch is preventing the developers from fixing the code.

By the time his explanation was finished, Vanessa stared at him like she was eye to eye with a lunatic.

“…Reeve.” Vanessa began, patting his shoulder comfortingly with a worried grimace. “ _Maybe you should rest a bit_. All this wandering going into your head?”

“ _I’m not lying Vanessa_.” Reeve stated. “If I was lying, I wouldn’t know the name of the game show we’re in… _which is called The Hollow by the way_.”

Vanessa’s eyes widened, and she began to slowly back away, her breathing increasing in speed. She slid down against the ice wall, covering her mouth as tears began to overwhelm her eyes. “… _Oh shit_.” Vanessa began to mutter. “…Y-you’re lying right? This is…no this can’t be a joke you know the _name_ of _the game show_ …” She held onto her head for dear life, almost as if she was afraid that she’d lose it. “…Do you know the real name of that weird guy?”

...Huh, _well that was easy_. “The game show host? Gustaf.”

“ _Fuck_!” Vanessa shouted, attempted to calm herself down by regulating her breathing, which seemed to be helping somewhat. “…W-wait you mentioned some glitch, right? Some strange glitch is preventing us from escaping this game?” Reeve nodded a yes to this question. “Yeah… _why are you asking_?”

“ _Shit_ …um.” Vanessa wiped away the tears streaming from her eyes. “I um… _I should tell you something_ …uh…you’re probably wondering why I know the game show’s name, and Gustaf’s name, and y’know, _the fact that we’re in a video game at all right_?”

“…Yeah?” _Reeve wasn’t liking the sound of this_.

“Well uh…I…before the game, I put on these special contact lenses.” Vanessa began her explanation. “…They… _they kept my memories intact when I entered the game_ …In short, _I cheated Reeve. I remember my entire life outside the game_ …and…here’s the kicker…” Vanessa shakily inhaled, as if she was about to drop a bomb Reeve possibly wouldn’t recover from. “… _The glitch you mentioned might not have been made by that man…it might be a result of my contact lense_ s. They might have messed with the code somehow and created it.”

Reeve’s entire world froze.

Thousands of thoughts flooded into his mind, overwhelming him and forcing him onto his knees.

But one single revelation burned inside his mind, which he mumbled out loud with a shocked, horrified face.

“… ** _You absolutely can’t ever tell Kai about this._** ”

He had _no_ idea how Kai would react to such news, and based on his gut, which was pretty much _shrieking_ at him right now at the very thought, _he can’t imagine Kai would be too thrilled by it_.

“ ** _You got that right_**.” whispered a shocked, gawking Gustaf, who magically appeared between the two teens.

Both Reeve and Vanessa nearly shouted out in surprise, but the purple skinned man shushed them. They glanced around the room, and sighed in relief when they determined it to be Kai-free. “ **Kai would _kill you_ Vanessa…and I will _not_ let another Fredrick incident happen again**.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh Oh Stinky


	9. When you least expect it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In his 50 in-game years, he's learned that things often don't go according to plan.

“…Why?” Vanessa asked, almost in a whisper. “What does _Kai_ have to do with all of this? And is Fredrick the bad man that put us in this situation?” Her confusion was apparent, and Reeve quickly filled her in. “Yeah, Fredrick’s the guy…Answering your other question, Kai’s been remembering the loops since the beginning…This loop is actually my first one. Everything I told you is what Gustaf and Kai have told me...The Kai you know isn’t the real Kai, he’s… _he’s lost it Vanessa_. _He almost killed me_.”

Clinging onto his bandaged shoulder, Reeve winced at Vanessa’s guilt-ridden expression, and focused his gaze toward Gustaf, who stared at the two kids before him in pity. “…Ok…so with that explanation out of the way, here’s the plan.” Gustaf gently clapped his hands together, breathing heavily. “So now that we know this new information, our team is going to study and research contact lens technology and all that. See if we can find any info that can help us get rid of the glitch…” They turned their head towards Vanessa, who stared intently at the floor, tears overflowing from her eyes. “Vanessa, did you make the lenses yourself? Or did you contact someone to make them for you? Any info you have could help with the process.”

“…I…I contacted someone on the dark web. I don’t know the name of the person but their initials…or I suppose alias was…R.D.?” Reeve let out an audible sigh at Vanessa’s answer, and Gustaf nearly facepalmed. “…Hey.” Reeve growled out lowly. “ _Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to get digital contact lenses from the dark web ever thought of that-_ ”

“ _Reeve_.” Gustaf hissed out quietly, giving them a stern glare. “ _She didn’t know this would happen_ , cut her some slack-”

“ _Reeve’s right_.” Vanessa whimpered out, shocking Gustaf and guilt tripping Reeve. “This is all my fault… _and because of that you can’t possibly expect me to keep this from Kai_.” She wiped her eyes with her coat sleeve, staring at Gustaf pleadingly. “If he’s suffered for 2 real life years because of _me_ I…he _deserves_ to know the truth-”

“ _Don’t_. Vanessa.” Gustaf choked back, his body shaking ever so slightly as he glanced around the room. “You have _no_ idea what Kai is capable of… _The Fredrick incident was…god I just…you don’t want that to happen to you Vanessa_.”

“You can’t just mention “the Fredrick incident” and then leave it at that!” Reeve his out, glaring expectantly at Gustaf. “ _Who exactly are we dealing with Gustaf_? What happened when Kai and Fredrick met? How did they even meet in the first place?”

Gustaf inhaled slowly, and then exhaled in defeat, his eyes dark, and horrified. “… _Kai didn’t hate me at first…in fact he…he actually relied on me for a good while_.” Gustaf began. “I told him news on our progress every loop, and constantly reassured him that we were getting closer… _so much closer_ … _but of course that was just a lie to keep him happy_ , to give him _some_ sense of hope…” Gustaf clutched his glasses, his frown pain lidden has he recalled the memories. “…He eventually caught onto my lies…and slowly grew distant, and snarky, and over all bitter towards me…often times he’d straight up ignore me…but one time, as I told him the results of Fredrick’s most recent interrogation, he just stared at me blankly, and demanded that he meet the man.”

Gustaf inhaled sharply, and continued his story. “…So we built and set up this virtual reality connecter, a lot like mine, so Fredrick wouldn’t get stuck in the game. He could only disconnect through the press of a button on the back of his headset, and we tied up his arms to make sure he couldn’t reach it…Then we put him in the saloon Kai was at during the time. I tied him down to a chair in one of the bedrooms, put Kai in there, and disconnected…” Weirdo shut his eyes tight, inhaling sharply. “Looking back… _that was such a bad idea._ This was months ago, and Kai was _incredibly_ unstable even then…We justified it by saying the poor kid deserved to see the face of the man that ruined his life but… _god we were so stupid_ …” Weirdo covered his face with his hands letting out a muffled, quiet sob. “…I…we all _watched_ it happen. We had the audio muted out of respect so we don’t know what Fredrick said that set Kai off, _but the next thing we knew we were watching at 14-year-old carve open a man’s stomach_.”

An eerie, haunting silence filled the icy area they stood on. Reeve felt like he was going to throw up, Vanessa curled up into a ball, her eyes wide and dripping tears onto the frozen floor. Gustaf covered his mouth, trying to keep his lunch inside his stomach as he relived the events. “…I…I ran out of the room and threw up in a nearby trash can half way. We were… _paralyzed_ …we couldn’t do anything but watch until it was over…When we finally disconnected Fredrick from the game, the first thing he did was scream bloody murder, sobbing and begging for mercy in a daze.”

“… _Holy shit_.” Reeve muttered under his breath. Gustaf didn’t even bother to reprimand the young boy’s language.

“…O-ok…so on with the plan.” Gustaf cleared his throat, trying to change the subject as fast as he could. “ _Both of you need to keep Vanessa’s contact lenses a secret. Kai absolutely cannot know_.” He glared at the two teens sternly as he gave the command. “Vanessa’s situation is a _little_ different. In the chance that Kai finds out and tears her apart limb to limb, she’ll wake up in the next loop without any recollection… _but Kai knows this_ , _so there’s an 80% chance Kai’s going to just kill Vanessa over and over and over again_ , and we have _no_ idea how long it’s going to take to get the anger out of his system… _plus Kai killing Vanessa period regardless of whether she’ll remember or not is not a good thing_.” Reeve vigorously nodded in agreement to Gustaf’s last statement, Vanessa continued staring at the icy floor, clinging onto her stomach for dear life.

“Of course…” Gustaf added. “There’s a possibility that Kai _won’t_ completely snap, and will just spiral down into a deep and dark depression, killing himself over and over again until he gets bored and goes somewhat back to “normal.” _But I don’t want to have to see that either_. _It was depressing to watch last time_.” They then raised their hand up, preparing to snap their fingers. “A-anyways, just try to keep your mouths shut you two. Next loop, I’ll have a talk with Reeve about the situation in a bit more detail.”

A snap later, and the game show host was gone. Reeve slowly stood up, and stepped towards Vanessa, who hesitantly took the hand he offered her. They stared at each other for a bit, worry and fear in their eyes, before making their way back towards Skeet and Kai.

As they came closer and closer to the other two teens, Reeve quietly explained his plan to Vanessa in a whisper. “I told Kai I wouldn’t hit Adam with the Ishibo, so I just want you to react like you would before you knew all this. What would you do if I betrayed you like that?”

“I’d probably try to get the Ishibo back, and then intimidate you to listen to me, _duh_.”

“Then just do that… _We’ll get through this Vanessa, Hang in there_.”

“…Maybe _…Maybe I deserve to get killed by Kai_ -”

The pink haired girl was interrupted when she noticed Reeve giving her the most angry, stern glare she had ever seen. “ _Don’t_ finish that sentence…don’t even _think_ that sentence.”

“But this is _my_ fault.” Vanessa tried to argue in a hushed whisper. “Kai did… _that_ to Fredrick because of _me_. Because _I_ was _stupid_ and thought my parent’s approval mattered _more_ to me than having fun with you and Skeet-”

“If we’re going to blame _anyone_ , we blame that Fredrick guy. He purposely put us in these loops in the first place. I will admit I’m a bit resentful towards you…I can’t help it… _but at the same time I know you don’t deserve whatever Kai has in store for you if he finds out you might have caused us to get stuck here_.”

Vanessa only sighed in response, clapping her cheeks and resuming her best “tough girl” façade.

Skeet was very eager to see his teammates back. “Dang! You guys took your sweet time!” Their eyelids lowered, and they gave him and Vanessa a teasing smirk. “…Something we should know about you two… _or_?”

“Oh hush!” Vanessa hissed out, forcefully pulling Skeet’s beanie over his eyes with a look of annoyance. Reeve glanced around the castle, only to find Kai right next to him, staring at him with a small smile.

…Shit.

“…What do you want?” Reeve whispered, focusing his gaze on Vanessa and Skeet, who were play fighting with ease, although Reeve could see how strained Vanessa’s smile was.

“ _You talked with Vanessa 2.673 minutes longer than you usually do. You tried to tell her about the loops didn’t you?_ ”

… _Shit_.

Reeve glanced at Kai’s face for a moment, who’s eyes were piercing into his soul, studying his every move.

 _Whatshouldhedowhatshouldhedowhatshouldhedowhatshouldhedo_ -

Calm down! Calm down! Just tell the truth, but not the _whole_ truth. He _did_ try to tell Vanessa about the loops, he doesn’t have to say that it _worked_.

“…Yeah.” Reeve admitted honestly, trying his best to hide the sweat under his brow. A prideful, proud smirk grew on Kai’s face at the response. “ _Told ya it wouldn’t work~_ ” They lilted out, flicking Reeve’s nose with their fingers. “I don’t blame you for trying though. To be honest I’ve never tried to tell _Vanessa_ the truth before myself, _maybe I’ll try to do it some time when I’m feeling bored~_ ” They walked towards Vanessa and Skeet, placing their mask back on once more.

Great, more things to worry about.

A distant, horrifying roar was heard, alerting the group of four, who crouched down defensively.

Great, _even more_ things to worry about!

There it was, the ice giant itself. It stood before the four of them, its eyes glaring at them menacingly.

He’s dealt with this before, and last time didn’t go too well, in fact, _they all turned into ice cubes_. This time however, he’ll try something different!

He used his telekinesis to rip off a few large icicles hanging from the ceiling, preparing to strike the ice giant with th-

 **Pain**.

 **Painpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpain** -

The world became a strange, pulsing blur as he flew backwards, his stomach stinging intensely.

He coughed, trying to regain his breath, but instead found it incredibly difficult to breath. _Every part of his torso hurt so bad. His body felt like it was on fire._

After what seemed like hours to him, his ears stopped ringing, and his vision somewhat cleared. The taste of iron was strong on his lips, and he cough some more, noticing the red droplets that emerged from his mouth.

And that’s when he noticed the long, blood stained icicle that had stabbed through his body, pining him to the wall.

**OH _FUCK!_**

**_FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK_** _-_

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt a hand gently place itself along his cheek, calming his nerves somewhat. He focused his gaze on the source, finding none other than Kai himself, staring at him…almost in pity.

“…Where…” Reeve coughed up more blood, looking frantically around the inside of the ice castle, which was slowly beginning to whirl and twist. “…Where’s the Ice giant…?”

Kai only pointed towards a certain direction, and Reeve follower their finger, noting the giant hole on the floor that wasn’t there before, filled with steaming water.

 _Reeve doesn’t ever want to get caught in a fight with Kai_.

“…The…the others…?”

“They were just frozen.”

Reeve coughed some more, his survival instincts kicking in has the pain in his impaled stomach grew, and his vision began to distort more and more. “…F-free them…I think… _I think I’m gonna die_ …” _Some plan he thought of…looks like it’s up to Vanessa for now_.

“ _No duh you are_.” Kai muttered out, cupping Reeve’s head and turning his head to face them. “…It hurts doesn’t it?”

Reeve slowly nodded, tears brimming in his eyes. He felt like he was slowly choking. _He doesn’t want to die_. _It hurts so bad_. _Please make it stop! He so scared_ -

He was thoroughly startled when he felt Kai’s arms gently wrap around his shoulders. The warmth was too much for Reeve to bear, and he broke down in muffled sobs, burying his head into the red-head’s shoulder as his entire body shook in fear.

“…Hey.” Kai muttered, somewhat gaining Reeve’s attention. “Next time you see me, ditch your team and run to the saloon. I want to spend some alone time with you, and there’s something there I want to show you as well.”

Reeve only had a few moments to process Kai’s command before he felt a _sharp_ , _intense_ pain at the side of his head. He let out a strangled cry, and could only stare with bulging eyes as Kai removed their arms from around his body, cupping his cheek with one hand, _and holding the switch-blade embedded in his skull in the other_.

“ _Shhhhhhh…it’s ok. You don’t have to suffer anymore…_ ”

In an instant, everything went black, and the pain ceased.

And then he woke up in again in the bunker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof


	10. Coping Methods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He know it's not healthy, but it doesn't really matter anymore anyways!

The first thing Reeve did when he was somewhat awake was cling onto his stomach, shaking like a leaf. He could still somewhat feel the pain of being impaled, even though he knew for a fact there wasn’t a wound anymore.

After dry heaving for a few moments out of shock, and gently rubbing the side of his head, where Kai had stabbed him, he slowly lifted himself from the floor and looked around the all too familiar bunker. The typewriter laid in its usual spot, and Vanessa and Skeet laid comfortably on the floor a-ways from him. 

_This shit was really happening huh_?

He let out a shaky sigh, and focused his gaze towards the ceiling light, his eyes wide as he processed the events that had just happened before him.

_He died_.

_He was impaled by an icicle like a shish-kabob, and was Euthanized like he was some poor dog with an incurable disease_.

_Kai just fucking stabbed him in the head_.

_They didn’t even wince while doing it_.

“…H-hey! Who are you!”

Reeve blinked, and then turned his head towards the source of the question, which just so happened to be Vanessa, who had backed into a corner, her eyes wide, and fearful.

This time, Reeve could see under her mask. Vanessa knew exactly who he was, and he knew this… _but he also knew that Vanessa clearly didn’t remember the last loop_.

He almost sighed in relief at that realization. What she said before he died had scared him. He was worried she would eventually crack from the guilt and tell Kai herself about the contact lenses without him looking.

… _Wait_.

Oh fuck. _He_ _died_.

_And that means Vanessa was left alone with Kai_.

As he slowly stood up from the floor, he silently hoped that Vanessa didn’t do what he feared she could do. “…I…I don’t know. Who are you?” He questioned back for the 3rd time.

He faked surprise when he heard a howl in the distance, as him and his teammates walked around the forest.

He pretended to not recognize the purple skinned man that appeared when they all called for help. The man did the same thing.

Only when he was alone with that man, in the middle of a clearing in a different forest after running from minotaurs and grabbing magical sticks from demon monks, did he finally say a “Nice to see you again.” To them.

“Nice to see you too. How’re you holding up Reeve?”

“Well I’m having night terrors about getting impaled like Olaf from Frozen but _yeah_ , _I’m doing pretty good_.” He gave Gustaf a mock smile, his sarcasm obvious.

Gustaf let out a somber sigh, and leaned against the nearby boulder, twirling his sun glasses around with his finger. “Well, glad you’re so _optimistic_ despite the… _circumstances_.”

“…I saw Adam’s team while we were stealing the Ishibo from them at the temple, but I _didn’t_ see Kai. You know what’s up with that?”

“He ditched them.”

Reeve widened his eyes at Gustaf’s blunt answer. “… _Ditched them_? _Just like that_?”

“Yep, first thing when he escaped the bunker with them. He let Adam and Mira walk ahead and then he flew away with his fire powers. He’s in the saloon right now…” Gustaf focused his gaze on Reeve’s bewildered face. “ _Waiting for you_.”

Reeve nearly forgot about the command Kai had given him, right before they put him down.

Worry filled his heart again, although not nearly as much as when he first woke up in this loop. If Kai had really ditched the others and he knew about Vanessa’s possible involvement, then he would have flown towards her and tore her apart limb to limb a while ago.

“Reeve, where are you going?”

Reeve looked behind himself, seeing Vanessa glaring at him with crossed arms, leaning against the nearby table.

“I’m gonna wander around for a bit, observe the perimeter. I’ll holler if anything tries to come up and take me down.”

Vanessa raised her eyebrow at this explanation, but none the less seemed alright with Reeve leaving the small shack they had found in the ghost town. “Good luck dude!” Skeet shouted lazily. Reeve didn’t bother to reply.

He didn’t know why he was listening to Kai, really. They’re not the boss of him. He doesn’t have to do what they say…but.

_Being around Skeet and Vanessa was painful_.

Knowing the truth, and watching them be so _oblivious_ to it. There were multiple instances where Reeve _almost_ tried to tell them the truth, but thought better against it. If Skeet believed him, he’d want to tell Vanessa, and then Vanessa would feel guilty again, and he doesn’t want that to happen for _both_ practical and personal reasons.

As much as he hated…or he supposed less hated and more _feared_ Kai at this point… _He just wants to talk to someone without constantly putting up a mask_ …

… _Is this how Kai felt, before he lost it_?

He wasn’t able to answer his own question, as just when he reached the stairway to the saloon, a pair of hands covered his eyes and his mouth, startling him and nearly forcing a shriek out of his throat.

“ _Guess who~_ ” Lilted out an all too familiar voice.

Reeve let out a shaky sigh, and forcefully removed the hands from his face, a glare plastered on his eyes and he twisted his body to face the eerily smiling red-head behind him. “ **Don’t. Fucking. Do that!** ”

Kai only rolled their eyes in response, and urged him to follow them into the saloon. “Come on! Come on! The quicker I show you the surprise the better!”

Reeve pushed passed the saloon doors, and was greeted with the all too familiar bar in the distance. He noted the various glass cups strewn about the nearby tables, implying that Kai had been drinking a while earlier. Regardless of whether that assumption was true, they looked sober now.

Kai pranced behind the bar, and stared at him expectantly in front of the shelf filled with booze, waiting for him to catch up to them. He rolled his eyes, and walked slowly towards them, standing in place a few feet away with crossed arms. “So before you show me this “surprise.” I’d like to know what happened after you killed me… _wish you’d given me a warning by the way_.” He hissed out in frustration, somewhat regretting how aggressive he sounded.

Kai let out a playful giggle at Reeve’s demand. “ _I killed myself directly after I put you down_. So yeah, nothing really.”

Reeve didn’t know whether to feel relieved or horrified by that explanation. On one hand, that meant Vanessa never had the chance to break down and tell Kai the lens thing, but on the other hand _Kai fucking killed themselves directly after they killed him_.

“… _Why_?” The nearly whispered out. “I mean, you just _left_ Vanessa and Skeet there? _Frozen_? You could have continued on with the game with your team! Heck, _maybe one of our teams winning would solve this whole mess_ -”

“ _No it wouldn’t_.” Kai deadpanned, his eyes darkening, and his smile straining. “I used to think that too…that was my goal actually for my first few in game decades…” They let out a sad, broken laugh. “… _But it didn’t work_ …”

Reeve didn’t press for more information…he didn’t really want to know more in that moment.

“…Sooooooo…anything else you need before I show you the super-duper awesome surprise?” Kai’s expression brightened, despite its twisted nature, and their eyes stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to answer. He only shook his head in response.

Kai’s smile widened creepily, and they grabbed a specific bottle from the shelf, pulling it gently.

Reeve heard a strange sound behind him, and turned his body towards the source, only to find a small doorway had formed on the wall nearby him. “Secret room!” Kai squeaked out excitedly, forcefully grabbing his hand and dragging him through the secret entrance.

The descending hallway the entrance revealed was long, and dark. Reeve wasn’t afraid of the dark, but he was afraid of the light at the end, of what he’d find once they reached it.

“Y’know how Weirdo told you that Fredrick added stuff like alcohol and drugs and whatnot into the game?” Kai attempted a lively conversation as they came closer and closer to the light. Reeve slightly nodded, his wrist sweating a bit at the contact. “…Yeah?”

“Well Fredrick was apparently really bad at level design and all that, because he just ended up putting most of that stuff in here!”

The two finally emerged from the hallway, and Reeve gawked in shock at the place he was presented with.

It was almost like a night club. The bright, neon lights filled the large room. An even huger bar was found in one of the corners, and an even larger shelf filled with every type of drink imaginable was placed behind it, against one of the walls. Various tables for dining were strewn about the area, a few doors leading to who knows where were on the side… _and is that a straight up stripper pole_?! _In the other corner_?!

“Welcome to Club Hollow!” Kai shouted out excitedly, his smirk wide and proud. “Home sweet home!”

As Kai skipped towards the bar stand and pulling out a cocktail recipe book, Reeve continued to stare at his surroundings, one thought ringing in his head.

“… _What the fuck Fredrick_?”

He must have stood there for quite a while, because Kai began to call for his attention, two drinks in hand. Reeve hesitantly took a seat on one of the bar stools, and grabbed the glass out of respect. “…What is this?” He questioned softly; the smell of the drink was kind of fruity?”

“If you like gettin’ caught in the rain you’ll love this! It’s a pina colada!” Kai grabbed his own drink, and raised it towards Reeve. “Cheers! To your new life!”

Reeve also raised his drink, and the two glasses clunked together. Kai wasted no time getting wasted, and began to drink his beverage like it was water. “…Hey.” Reeve began. “…Like I said before, we’re both teens. We shouldn’t be doing this-”

“ _Teens in a video game_.” Kai retorted with a smirk, his face already a bit flushed. “ _Come ooooooon_ Reeve! You _died_ last loop! Let loose a bit! You deserve to have fun!”

Reeve didn’t give in, and set his drink along the bar stand, pushing it towards Kai. “…I’m sorry but…I’m just not feeling it right now.” Kai only huffed at Reeve’s insistence, and grabbed his drink. “Whatever! More for me!”

Reeve watched Kai down the other glass with a blank face, a myriad of questions on his mind. The most obvious question he spoke out loud. “…Why did Fredrick _make_ this place?” Kai was quick to answer with a small hiccup. “ _You think I know_? He’s _insane_ Reeve. Everything he’s done to us seems to be some sort of sick and twisted social experiment to him.” They let out a few giggles, the alcohol already fuzzing their mind. “I’m not complaining about _this_ place though. You have _no_ idea how much weed helps.”

“There’s _weed_ here?!”

“Yeah. There are like, shelves under the table, and there’s some weed and a bong for each table in one of them.” Kai pointed towards the tables, a silly smile on his face. “But I mean that’s _nothing_ , there’s also some LS-”

“I don’t want to know anymore.” Reeve deadpanned with a sigh, rubbing his hands against his face.

The long, awkward silence that followed tore the two teens apart. Kai finished his second glass, and set it gentle on the table. “…Y’know…I _did_ promise you I’d tell you more about the old days… _y’know_ , _when I first started remembering the loops_.” Kai reminded Reeve, who lowered his hands from his face, his eyebrow slightly raised in curiosity. “…Soooooo…what do you want to know?” The red-head finished.

After a moment of thought, Reeve reluctantly gave his answer. “… _Just start where you left off._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is more story time. I'm so sorry everyone-


	11. Story Time #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burnt flesh smells pretty bad. 0/10 He does not recommend it as a candle!

“I was just trying to make sure you were ok!”

“W-who are you?! Where am I?”

“I don’t know…I woke up here too, just like you.”

Kai stared in bewilderment at the scene before him, slowly processing the situation he was in.

…He…He jumped off that cliff with Adam and Mira and…

…Suddenly he was back here? _In the bunker_? And Mira and Adam didn’t seem to remember what had happened…

… _W-what’s going on_?!

He stared at his hands deeply, confusion plastered on his face as he tried to think of a logical explanation for his current situation.

…It…maybe it was all just a dream?

_Yeah_! That’s the _only_ possible explanation! He just had a weird, prophetic dream! Man, _he’s so cool_!

**… _God_ …he wished it was a dream…**

“Hey.” Kai was interrupted from his thoughts by Adam’s voice. The guy stared at him, almost in worry. “Are you ok?” Mira seemed just a worried, standing up from her corner, a similar question conveyed with her eyes.

Kai contemplated telling them…but…wouldn’t they just think he was crazy? _He didn’t want that_ …

“Y-yeah! I’m fine…” He reassured them, lifting himself up from the floor and surveying the familiar grey brick walls. “… _W-where are we_?”

Kai wasn’t a very good actor back then, or at least he was much worse than he is now.

In that very first loop, he remembered so distinctly how excited he was at being able to pinpoint ever single thing he had seen before. The forest, the shack, the satchel, literally everything.

He already had a goal, straight from the get go, keep the devil dogs away from them. This of course meant he had to listen to Adam…and it frustrated him to no end.

Which is why he couldn’t do it. It was why he ended up arguing with Adam in front of the doorway of the shack once again.

“ _Fine_!”

“ _Fine_!”

“ _Fine_!”

“ _Fine_!”

A loud crashed was heard behind Adam, and both boys turned to the source, to see and hear Mira tell them to shut up as loud as she could.

Kai widened his eyes, and covered his ears. “Mira! _What have you done_?!” Kai shouted in panic, backing away from the doorway. “ _Who knows what could have heard that_!” He knew exactly what could have heard her, but he wouldn’t tell them that, they’d only think he was insane.

For once his logic seemed sound to Adam and Mira, as they quickly grabbed the satchel from the chair and left the shack without a second thought. Kai was quick to follow them.

Once again did they hear the sound of demon dogs howling for them, and once again they all raced towards the fence gate, hoping to escape the monsters chasing them.

Kai knew where the fence switch was that would turn off the electrical surge coming from the gate. He was planning on flipping it as soon as he reached it, eventually buying them all more time by the cliff, so they could think of a plan.

And yes, he still didn’t know how they would escape the cliff thing, but he was thinking of that in the meant time! It’s possible he’ll figure it out before they reach it-

His thoughts must have distracted him too much, because the next thing he knew, he was face down on the floor, his ankle caught in some tree roots that wouldn’t let him escape.

Behind him, he heard the dogs getting closer and closer, and ahead he saw Adam and Mira, who likely hadn’t noticed his plight yet, sprint towards the gate from afar.

Kai opened his mouth, prepared to call for help-

… _But the dogs got to him first_.

**Pain.**

**Pain as his arm was chomped, and quickly ripped off without any effort.**

**Pain as his back was scratched open, pouring out blood and filling his nose with a fresh irony scent.**

**Pain as his skin was torn off and swallowed, and his body was flipped to the side, allowing the dogs to carve open his stomach and chew on his intestines.**

**_He screamed._**

**_He screamed so loud._**

**_He begged Adam and Mira to help him. He screamed their names as loud as he could, almost in a sob, as he was eaten alive._**

**_PLEASE_**

**_HELP HIM_ **

**_IT HURTS SO BAD-_ **

**_HE CAN’T SEE ANYTHING-_ **

**_HE’S CHOKING_ **

**_H E L P-_ **

…

…

…

He woke up in the bunker once more.

He very first thing his did was curl up in a ball, clinging onto his body like his life depending on it, letting out fearful gasps and sobs as the sharp, mind crushing pain still burned fresh in his mind.

“…Hey.” Kai begin, rubbing his finger against the bar stand with a teasing smirk. “What’s up with you? You look like you’re going to throw up?”

Reeve was going to throw up, possibly…

_He didn’t want to hear anymore_. These stories Kai had told him so far have given him nothing but guilt, and worry. Not only that but the vivid description of Kai getting eaten alive didn’t help him stomach feel well at all, quite the opposite in fact.

…But the cliffhanger was just so…god, Reeve just _needed_ to know what happened next, even if he ended up making him feel _more_ miserable.

“…I-I’m fine…just… _what happened next_?”

Kai placed a finger under his mouth, staring at the ceiling in thought. “… _Weeeeeeeell_ …”

“…ey…Hey!” A familiar, soft voice called for the curled-up Kai, who instantly ceased his shaking, and turned his head towards Mira herself, who crouched down next to him, her hand hovering over his body. “…Hey…are you ok?”

That was when Kai realized he was in the bunker once more. His arms still wrapped around his stomach, he surveyed his surroundings, seeing those familiar grey brick walls once again, and too the side Adam, who looked at him in concern. “…Bad nightmare?” They asked with a raised eyebrow.

Kai blinked for a few moments, and ignoring the pain he still felt all over his body, despite the wounds no longer being there, he slowly nodded. “…Yeah…I don’t remember what it was though.”

He lied, he did remember what it was…and he also wasn’t too sure if this was a dream, or a nightmare, or whatever anymore.

He didn’t know what to think anymore.

Realizing this, he curled up into a fetal position for a second, dead silent.

Adam and Mira glanced at each other, and then stared at the stranger before them in concern. “…Well…hopefully your nightmare was _much_ better than…whatever situation we are now.”

**Looking back, that phrase is actually pretty unintentionally ironic and clever. The big joke is that the nightmare _was_ the situation- Wait he’s getting sidetracked! Haha! Sorry!**

Kai’s second loop was another rather unlucky one…well, for Adam at least.

Kai was usually the one to grab the fence when the three of them first saw it, and get singed a bit, coming out unusually unscathed and thoroughly shocked…get it? Cause…yeah…

Kai didn’t bother to touch the fence this loop, he knew what it did, and he didn’t want to get shocked again… _it still hurt him_.

It’s possible that because of that, _Adam_ was the one to touch the fence, although much more cautiously that he did the past two times.

Kai still remembered the bright, flashing colors he saw surround Adam’s body has his skin was cooked black. His horrific, pain filled scream was still clear in his mind.

Their crisp body collapsed onto the ground, lifeless. Mira screamed for Adam’s name and rushed towards him, crying over his corpse as gasps escaped her throat.

Kai also ended up crying, collapsing onto the ground and howling out his grief. Unlike Mira, who simple felt horrified and sad by the stranger’s death, Kai had seen Adam enough times to have developed a _bond_ with him…a rather one sided bond, but a bond none the less.

Mira saw Kai’s state, and ended up hugging him, rubbing his back in a comforting motion as they both processed the horrifying event they had just witnessed.

Later, Kai would wonder why he was so different, why he didn’t die like Adam, but not then. Not in _that_ moment...

The demon dogs heard their wailing…hell, possibly heard Adam’s scream in that loop, and before Mira and Kai could even attempt to escape, they were both tackled and devoured by the demon dogs.

Kai woke up in his third loop the same way he did his second, sobbing fearfully and gasping for air as pain once again filled his bones.

“… _Stop_.”

Kai lifted his gaze up from his hands, raising an eyebrow at Reeve. “Huh?”

Reeve covered his ears, his eyes tight as he breathed unevenly. “…Just…stop…It’s so… _painful_.”

Kai let out a hollow, empty laugh, his eyes dead, and almost mocking as he stared at Reeve. “Oh hun…” They began. “That was _nothing_. How on earth are you going to enjoy this life if you can’t even handle something like _that_?” They raised their hand, flicking Reeve’s nose playfully. “… _You’re so childish_ …but I can’t really blame you for that. _You have a lot to learn_ ~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	12. Arguments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even after a few drinks he still has a headache from his hangover.

Reeve was currently lying his head against the panel of the secret entrance, unable to see the knob in the blinding darkness that surrounded him.

He didn’t know why he was just standing there. He told Kai he was going to leave and check on Vanessa and Skeet…so why wasn’t he doing just that?

One answer really…Reeve was already so… _tired_ of this. He just wanted to sleep for a bit, and not think of anything for a while. This entire situation was so… _overwhelming_.

Reeve was _done. Period_.

Slowly, he raised his hand to feel around the panel, hoping to, despite his exhaustion, find a knob or a button that would let him open it and leave this… _interesting_ place Kai had shown him.

Only to realize, after a straight minute of rubbing his hand on ever inch and corner of the panel, that there was no knob or button.

Oh, so it must be a push to open thing? That’s what he guessed as he pressed his body against the panel.

The panel didn’t budge. It stood in place, almost like it was a part of the wall…not a panel.

…

Reeve remembered how Kai responded to him deciding to leave.

“…Yeah, _have fun with tha_ t.” They stated emotionlessly. Their eyes gazed into his own, conveying a sense of…superiority, like they knew something he didn’t.

After banging his body against the panel multiple times in panic, he realized what that look meant.

…Fuck!

 _Fucking fuck_!

Reeve stomped down the stairs as fast as he could, sliding towards Kai with a livid expression on his face. The redhead had taken a seat in one of the beanbags placed around the club, drinking whatever the hell was in the shelves near the bar and reading a book he had taken from the nearby book case.

“ **Kai! Why won’t the panel open**?!” He shouted in anger. Kai glanced up at Reeve for a few moments, before focusing his attention back on the book he was reading. “Nice to see you again Reeve.” They lilted out, almost tauntingly.

“ ** _Answer my fucking question_**!”

Kai rolled his eyes at Reeve’s insistence, and took a sip from what looked to be some red wine, his face flushed. “Because you _can’t_ open the panel from the inside. I _probably_ should have mentioned this, but once you enter this place, you’re _stuck_ here. _Nothing_ will break the panel, trust me, I’ve tried.”

“ ** _YEAH! YOU PROBABLY SHOUD HAVE MENTIONED THAT!_** ” The volume of Reeve’s voice was raised to astounding levels, as the realization fully sunk in. _He was stuck in here_ , stuck with _Kai_ , _all by himself_.

The ear-piercing shriek Reeve let out made Kai wince. Almost as if a flip inside them had been switched, they slammed their book shut and abruptly stood up from their bean bag, giving Reeve the most annoyed, terrifying expression he had ever seen.

“ **Watch your fucking tongue**.” Kai warned with an unusually calm voice. “ ** _Or I’ll cut it off for you_**.”

Reeve shut his mouth tight in response, petrified into place.

Kai glared intensely at Reeve for a few more seconds, and then fell back into his bean bag. An emotionless expression on his face as he opened his book to the exact chapter he was previously reading from. “Your shouting was giving me a migraine. _Annoying as hell_.” He deadpanned. “You’re overreacting over _nothing_. _It’s not the end of the world Reeve_ , _get a grip and calm your yourself_.”

Reeve’s anger blossomed once more, as a realization graced his mind…The way Kai has treated him at this point…it was almost like he was nothing more than a _toddler_ to them.

Kai had absolutely _0_ respect for him.

“…I don’t appreciate the way you talk down to me you know.” Reeve nearly hissed out, glaring daggers at them. “How old are you, like 13? I have to be older than you! _So don’t treat me like I’m some naive child_! I understand more than you think!”

Kai focused his gaze at Reeve, his eyebrow raised, almost in awe…and then it hardened. A look of boredom and annoyance slowly formed on their face

The book in their hand was slammed shut, and the stood up from the bean bag once more. Reeve jumped at the sudden action, taking a few steps back in caution.

Kai stared at Reeve, surveying ever corner of his body, and detailing the expression on his face, before they gave a lazy, cocky smirk.

Reeve raised an eyebrow at the subtle gesture, confusion filling his mind.

He only had a millisecond to react to the switchblade, which flew past his head, and perfectly landed on the bullseye of the target behind him, a trail of smoke rising from where it impaled itself.

 **Reeve almost pissed himself**.

“My aim’s getting better and better!” Kai lilted out cheerfully, skipping past Reeve and ripping the switchblade from the now torn target. Reeve was still in the process of calming himself down, trying not to have a heart attack.

“…What’s your point.” Reeve muttered out shakily. “That you can kill me in an instant?”

“Oh no! _I just did that to fuck with you_!” Kai stated casually, twirling the switchblade in his hands and leaning his body against the wall. “You’re fun to mess with. But anyways. _Shut the fuck up_!” He stabbed the wall behind him, his eyes darkening as he stared gleefully at Reeve. “ _You. Know. Nothing_. You hear me? How many loops have _you_ gone through, _2_? That’s _nothing_. That’s a _millisecond_ of how long I’ve been here. I’ve already passed middle age in game years.” He slowly stepped towards Reeve, forcefully grabbing their chin and twisting their head to face him. “I treat you like a child because you _act_ like one in my eyes. The day you _stop_ acting like a child is the day I might actually form a single ounce of respect for your naive ass.” Flicking their nose, he stepped away from the stiff Reeve, making his way towards one of the side doors. “Plus, I mean, _you’re_ the one that keeps calling _me_ crazy, insane, a lunatic. You call _that_ respect?”

Reeve didn’t respond, he stared hard at the floor, a mixture of anger and embarrassment mixing inside his gut. Kai tsk’ed at what he deemed to be a pathetic scene. “ _Goodnight Reeve_.”

Reeve’s shoulders bunched as the door behind Kai was slammed shut.

He stood there for quite a while, trying to comprehend what had just happened to him. But his brain was mush. He couldn’t think, period.

…He needed to _sleep_ …was there a bed anywhere?

Letting out a tired sigh, he stepped towards the door of the room Kai had shut himself in, and softly knocked on it a few times. “…Kai? Is there a bed here?”

For a moment there was nothing but silence, until the door abruptly opened. Kai stood back, and motioned his hand towards the inside of the room, which just so happened to be a rather extravagant bedroom. “There are two more bedrooms next to mine, take your pick.”

Reeve glanced to the side, seeing the two other doors Kai mentioned. “…Thanks…I gue-”

Kai’s door was slammed shut before Reeve could finish his sentence.

Reeve let out a small huff, and shuffled toward the next door, opening it and shutting the door behind him.

The room he was in was similar to Kai’s, except it was blue in color, unlike Kai’s red room. The bed was strangely shaped, almost like a heart, and what looked to be a karaoke machine leaned against one of the walls.

Reeve raised an eyebrow at the machine. An odd place to put it really, why wouldn’t it be out on the main room?

…He decided to ask questions later. He slowly stepped towards the bed, and caught a nightstand nearby out of the corner of his eye. In curiosity, he opened it, it was possibly empty but-

The millisecond he saw lube and a few condoms, he slammed the drawer shut, a bright blush on his face.

… _H-he should just go to sleep_ …

“Psst, Reeve.”

Reeve nearly had a stroke at the sudden appearance of Gustaf, who clutched his glasses in his hand. He actually looked…somewhat happy for once. _Real_ happy. “What is it with you and Kai and jump scares!” His hissed out in a whisper, clutching onto his chest as he eased his breathing.

“S-sorry kid…anyways, here’s the news.” They clapped their hands together, letting out a shaky squeal. “ _We’re actually getting somewhere_! The shady guy Vanessa got her contact lenses from, he hasn’t been active on his website, but we have been able to scour through the code and get some info on people who have ordered from him. We might actually have an idea as to how to get rid of the glitch, and finally free you guys from the game!”

Reeve blinked at the news tiredly. “…That’s _great_ Gustaf…but…I wanna sleep…”

Gustaf nodded eagerly. “O-oh yes, of course, just thought I’d tell you this…hang in there…and…” They bit their lip, seconds away from snapping their fingers. “…You might want to make up with Kai. I mean, I'm kind of on the fence with this argument you're having with him. On one hand, yeah, you have every right to be angry at Kai for treating you less like a person and more like a thing. On the other hand though, you should really get passed your ego and start respecting them more. They know much more about…well, _everything_ about this situation…more than you. If you want Kai to see you as an equal, you have to stop treating him like some maniac spouting nonsense...even if that description of him is _partially_ true. I'm just saying.”

Reeve watched the purple skinned man disappear into thin air. a few seconds later, he collapsed onto the heart shaped bed, and fell asleep. The idea of apologizing to Kai was the last coherent thought that graced his mind.

…He hated how true Gustaf's words were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New horrible chapter woop.


	13. I Can't Believe I Used to Call You a Friend

“Just… _Stop_.”

Gustaf was taken aback by the plea that had come from Kai’s mouth; their body still covered head to toe in Fredrick’s blood.

After Kai had…calmed down, they had disconnected the criminal from the game, and forced Gustaf himself to go and see if Kai was…at least _somewhat_ ok. He had carried their exhausted, limp form to the nearby bed, his arms shaking as he relived what Kai _could_ do in his mind.

Gustaf sat down next to him. Told him it was going to be ok, that they wouldn’t send him to a mental hospital or to jail, that he’d get treatment, that they’d help him once they find a way to get rid of the glitch and free him and his friends.

And that’s when Kai said that sentence, that sentence that caught Gustaf off guard for a moment.

“… _I don’t care anymore Gustaf_.” They said, almost in a whisper, their eyes wide, and dead. “… _I just want to die_ …if you won’t help do _that_ for me…then I don’t want to see your face _ever_ again, not when I’m by myself… _don’t fill me with false hopes anymore_.”

Gustaf reached his hand out for the living corpse before him, barely touching his shoulder. “…Kai-”

Kai slapped Gustaf’s hand away with all his might, burying his head into the pillow and staining it with fresh blood. “ ** _FUCKING! LEAVE!_** ”

Gustaf, after a moment of despair, decided to respect Kai’s wishes. He slowly stood up, tiptoed towards the doorway, and gazed somberly at the broken child before him.

…Then he shut the door behind him, and logged out of the game.

Gustaf, to this day, still had dreams about that moment. He wouldn’t say nightmares, they didn’t fill him with fear…only sadness, and shame.

A part of him knew the reason he did what Kai said was because deep down, he was scared. _So_ scared of them. He didn’t want to get hurt like Fredrick. He was nothing but _a coward_.

Speaking of _the_ _monster_ , Fredrick, he was currently in front of the door of their “cell.”

He knew he wouldn’t get any new information, like always, but it was worth a try. After all, he has some new info up his sleeve. Maybe it’ll be different this time? He’s…not getting his hopes up.

And so he opened the door.

Before him was a lean, pale man with pure black hair. He was handcuffed to his bed, sleeping with much difficulty.

“…Get up Fredrick.”

The man shot up, screaming bloody murder as his body vibrated like a phone being called. “ ** _PLEASE! NO MORE_**!” He said between fervent sobs.

“Kai isn’t here Fredrick.” Gustaf stated emotionlessly, walking towards them and fiddling with their handcuffs. “He can’t hurt you.”

The thin man, after a few moments of intense breathing, slowly nodded.

Gustaf dragged Fredrick's body towards the nearby table set, setting him down and handcuffing him to a chair. Gustaf then sat himself down on the chair opposite to them, and leaned his elbows on the table.

For a moment there was only silence, as Gustaf stared down at Fredrick. It astounded him how one event could change a man. He remembered how even while handcuffed, Fredrick had taken painstaking effort to keep himself groomed. Now the shirt he was wearing was lopsided, and his short hair was messy, and sticking out all over the place. Before the Kai incident, Fredrick was a gleeful, overly happy man… _especially_ during the wrong moments. He was still like that often times, but now, he’d sometimes go into hysterical fits in the middle of interrogation, reliving the horrifying events in his mind.

But even as he stared at the pitiful form that used to be his friend, Gustaf didn’t forgive Fredrick for what he did…he felt nothing but _pity_.

“We have new info.” He began, gaining Fredrick's interest.

“…What do you mean?”

“Reeve has started remembering the loops. It’s actually helped us determine what exactly causes someone to remember the loops in the first place.” He trailed his finger against the metal table, making an imaginary circle. “…It’s nothing more than a glitchy dice roll. The…virus, or whatever, seems to be messing with how the kid’s memories are stored. Some of them are speeding through the loops unaware…but all it takes is the glitch to act up in that department in order to get one of them to become a remember like Kai…” Gustaf sighed out in annoyance at the shaking Fredrick, who winced every time the red-head’s name was mentioned.

“…Why are you telling me this? You know I can’t help you. I didn’t add a glitch into the system-”

“Let me finish! Damn it…Shortly after Reeve met… _y’know_ …he told Vanessa about the loops and…apparently, she remembers her life before the game.”

“…That’s _impossible_.” Fredrick muttered out with wide eyes. “The hollow takes any memories of your past and disregards them, leaving them in your brain while putting the rest of your mind into the system, connecting your mind to your body by a single thread… _Vanessa shouldn’t have her memories of her past because they aren’t supposed to be in the game files to begin with_ -”

“I know! That’s what I thought when I watched her say that from the screen…but then she went on to explain that she had used these contact lenses she bought on the dark web…lenses that messed with the scanner and prevented it from recognizing any memories to disregard…therefore she got into the game with them.” Gustaf inhaled slowly, and then stared deep into the mans haunting blue eyes. “…So we think the virus came from Vanessa’s contact lenses…do you know anything about contact lens technology? It’d save us some time…”

“…Yes. I do.” Fredrick slowly nodded. “I uh…actually used to have this website on the dark web. I’d offer my technical services to clients and all that…the very last work I did was a pair of contact lenses that was made to do the exact function you’ve just described actually…” They let out a small giggle, their expression gleeful, somewhat like before they met Kai. “I even put in a wicked virus in there, just for funsies, y’know?”

…It disgusted Gustaf how even after being digitally torn limb to limb by the consequences of his actions, Fredrick was still a horrible man.

“What was your alias?” Gustaf asked in boredom, somewhat relieved that he was finally starting to get somewhere with the man. “and what was the name of the client?”

“My alias was R.D.”

…

**…Wait…**

“As for the client. I have no idea. I knew she was female, but that was it. We only talked through emails, and I never saw her name in my list ever again once I mailed the contact lenses to her…she just referred to herself as “V.””

“…Fredrick.” Gustaf mumbled out shakily. Rage filling inside his heart. “…Vanessa said the person who made her contact lenses was named R.D.”

A mind splitting silence formed inside the room the two adults sat in. Fredrick stared a Gustaf, his eyes wide with shock.

“…Ohohohohoho boy…” Fredrick muttered under his breath, an awkward giggle escape his throat. “That uh…That explains a _lot_ now actually. Oh wow…” The giggles slowly increased in volume, and Fredrick bit his lip in an attempt to restrain them.

“ ** _This isn’t fucking funny Fredrick_!**” Gustaf snapped, slamming his hands onto the table and glaring at the madman before him. “ **I _knew_ you were behind the glitch, virus, whatever the _fuck_ you put in those contact lenses! And now!**” Gustaf gripped Fredricks head, forcing them to face him. “ **You’re going to tell us how to fix it! and don’t you _dare_ lie like you have all this time. You _saw_ the code we gave you! It _had_ to have been familiar to you-**”

“But I wasn’t lying Gustaf. I seriously don’t know how to fix it. I didn’t make the virus myself, someone else did. I just bought it and put it in there! Didn’t even check the code or anything!” Fredrick glanced to the side, a wicked smirk on his face. “At least…I don’t know how to fix it the way _you guys_ want to fix it.”

“…What do you mean by that?” Gustaf whispered out, a tight feeling in his stomach.

“…Oh Gustaf, you and I _both_ know that the sure proof way to get rid of the virus is to get rid of its source…” Fredrick let out a hollow laugh of superiority. “One person’s life is sacrificed for 5 others lives to be saved… _The easiest way to free the kids is to manually turn off Vanessa’s headset Gustaf_.”

Gustaf punched Fredrick in the face as hard as he could without a second thought. Fredrick’s chair fell down to the floor, and the man screamed in pain as his handcuffed hands were crushed by the weight.

“ _If we do that she could get hurt_! There’s no telling whether all of her data will transfer properly! She could become _a vegetable_! You _know_ the manual option is _only_ for emergencies!”

“Isn’t _this_ an emergency Gustaf?”

Gustaf shut his mouth tight at Fredrick’s retort. After a few moments of ear-piercing silence, he spoke up again. “…Who did you get the Virus from?”

“Are you kidding me?! I’ll get my throat slit in prison if I snitch-”

Gustaf really didn’t want to stoop that low, but it seemed he had no choice. “ _Fredrick, do you want me to put you in with Kai again_?”

Fredrick froze in shock, before his body began to shake like a leaf. “… **P-please no**!” He squeaked out in fear, trying to free himself from his restraints. “ ** _Not that. ANYTHING but that! PLEASE NO_** -”

“Then _who_. _Built_. _The virus_?”

Fredrick let out a shaky sigh, slamming his head to the ground. “…His alias is 6-5-1-18…His real name is Jackson…an old friend of mine. He lives in Seattle, in the USA.”

Foreign. _Shit_ , this got more complicated. “Phone number? Appearance?”

“###-###-####. He’s short, a bit chubby. Blonde hair with green eyes. A nice, soft voice. You’d think he was an angel…but he’s _my_ inspiration for causing misery…a _lovely_ guy really, and if you think _I’m_ good at coding, you should see what _He_ can do… _his work is out of this world_.”

Gustaf massaged the bridge of his nose, let out a deep sigh, and began to slowly walk towards the door.

Fredrick struggled to lift himself up from the floor. “H-hey. Aren’t you going to help me up? You can’t just leave me like this!”

Gustaf looked behind himself, beholding the pitiful monster that he had called his friend since he first began working in this company.

“… _Fuck you Fredrick_ …”

He shut the door behind him, and walked down the dull, monotone hallways, his goals clear on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big sad.


	14. Guidance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wished he had the courage to off himself during those first painful deaths of his.

Kai woke up to a whirling, swirling ceiling of red.

After he showed Reeve the bedrooms, he…he shut the door and went to sleep by himself, right? Or was he remembering wrong? Maybe he ended up sleeping with them like many times before?

Kai wasn’t sure. The memories always seem to mix together.

He slowly lifted himself up from the bed, eyeing his clothes, which he had discarded to the floor. The room felt too hot for him then, but now it was freezing. Maybe that’s why he woke up.

Scooting himself off the heart shaped bed, he took a few wobbling steps towards the ground, eyeing how it puddled around his feet like water. Tree branches he had memorized and icicles he had been impaled by hung from the sides and the ceiling.

He yanked the blood red blanket from the bed, wrapped it loosely around his frame, and pushed the bedroom door open with his body, ignoring how the sounds around him echoed like he was in a cave, and how barely recognizable screams reverberated in his mind.

Before him was utter chaos. He could somewhat tell that he was still in the club…but patches of grass and sand splattered across the floor, and the ceiling was nonexistent, displaying a night sky filled with stars, covered by trees.

It was like this everywhere Kai went. Bits and pieces of places he had stepped foot in over and over again would display itself in every corner of this game, at least in Kai’s eyes.

He walked slowly to the nearest table set, and opened one of its side drawers. Inside, he beheld a bong, some weed, and some other miscellaneous drugs. Cocaine, LSD, meth. He usually didn’t take those unless he was feeling particularly shitty.

Grabbing the bong and the ziplock bag of weed, he continued on his way towards the bar, grabbing the first alcoholic beverage that he saw. It was a fireball.

He took his coping methods with him to the stripper pole, which had been replaced with a long, slender icicle that barely touched the ground. He nearly slammed his back against it, and slid down, grabbing the bong and placing the kush in its proper place.

He would inhale bits of smoke coming from the bong, which he lit with his own fingers, and then gulp a bit of fireball. He could already feel the effects working. Things that weren’t supposed to be there were starting to disappear, and the screams began to die down. Sure, the world was kind of spinning now, but it was better than whatever fever dream he experiences when _sober_.

“Are you _actually_ using a bong?”

Kai slowly registered the familiar voice behind him, and turned his head towards its source, only to see Reeve. their body covered head to toe in fatal wounds, their skin pale and corpse like, and their eyes covered in small veins, dead and soulless.

Kai simply nodded to the phantom before him. He knew none of those wounds were real… _In this loop anyways_.

“…Are you ok?”

 _No_.

 _Kai stopped being ok a looooooooooooooong time ago_.

“Let me get a bit more tanked, _then_ I’ll be ok.”

“…Kai…you should stop-”

“I’m sorry?” Kai growled out, puffing out a large chunk of smoke, and glaring at the teen before him, who’s wounds slowly began to disappear, and who’s skin slowly changed into a more healthy, vibrant color. “ _Did I ask for your opinion_?” They clung onto the thin blanket wrapped around them, finally eyeing the world around him as it should be. “I mean, why do you even care anyways? My habits have nothing to do with you.”

Reeve clutched onto his arm, inhaled a big chunk of air, and stared off to the side. “…I’m sorry I’m so mean to you.” He finally managed to say, his eyes tight shut. “I know that if I want respect, I have to give it as well…so…I’ll try to be nicer to you from now on.”

“…That’s not what made me angry.”

Reeve opened his eyes wide, and turned his head towards Kai, who stared at his emotionlessly. “It just… _really_ pissed me off, the implication that you believed you "weren’t naive," that you knew as much about this situation as I do.” He let out a hollow laugh, a puff of smoke escaping his lips. “Don’t make me _laugh_ … _revel in this miserable world with me for a few in game decades and then we’ll talk_ …if you’re going to apologize, apologize for throwing my pain under the bus like that.”

“…Then.” Reeve began, shame filling his heart as he stared at the ground with a somber expression. “…I’m sorry for _that_ …”

“… _Mh_ …” Kai replied.

A short, awkward silence hung between the two teens. Reeve decided to break it with a question he had in his mind ever since he left his room and saw Kai near the stripper pole. “…Why do you have a blanket wrapped around you? It’s not that cold…”

Kai stared at Reeve, almost as if he was pondering how to respond to the question. He determined his answer with a sly smirk, and gripped the ends of the blanket around him, tightly wrapping it around his frame as he raised himself up the floor. The bong and cinnamon whiskey were abandoned.

Reeve only had 3 seconds to question Kai’s action before they suddenly opened the blanket up, flashing him for only a few seconds, before wrapping it around their body once more. He let out a strange squeaking sound, his face flushed from embarrassment.

“ **D-dude**!” He shouted, turning on his heel and staring intently at the oh so interesting floor. “ **What the fuck?! Why are you naked?!** ”

Kai shrugged, although Reeve couldn’t see it. “I was hot, so I took off my clothes, then I got cold and was too lazy to put them back on. Now I’m here, any other questions?” They explained with a small slur.

“…No.” Reeve muttered out, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. _Calm down_ , Kai’s just fucking with him. He can’t let them get a rise out of him.

His breath left his body as he felt warmth along his back. A pair of arms slowly wrapped themselves around Reeve’s shoulders, and their finger began drawing circles along his shirt. “…Hey.” Kai muttered, his faced leaning against the shoulder. “I’m kind of bored anyways, wanna bang?”

…

Wha-

Wai-

Hol-

He-

 **What**?!

“… _E-excuse me_?” He mustered out, his tone a pitch higher than usual. Was this actually happening right now? Kai had to _just_ be messing with him… _right_?

“I mean, it’s just the two of us here, no one to interrupt. We could go at it for as long as you like~” The hand that trailed circles along Reeve’s shirt began to subtly tug it. “Come on! We could have some fun before we die~”

…Reeve wouldn’t lie to himself. A small part of him was legitimately considering Kai’s suggestion. It _was_ _sex_ after all-

… _Wait_ …

…Before they _die_?

“…What are you talking about?” Reeve asked, his expression morphing into concern.

“…Come _on_ Reeve!” Kai let out a huff of annoyance “You’re usually not this slow! Let’s fu-”

“No! I mean the other thing! Before we die? What are you talking about?”

A short silence followed Reeve’s question, followed by a Kai letting out a tiny squeak. “…Oh…I forgot about that!” They muttered out, and removed their arms from Reeve. The telekinetic let out a relieved sigh at the lack of contact, and twisted their body to face Kai…and instantly averted their gaze when they saw the discarded blanket on the floor. “About What?”

“The reason I brought you down here in the first place.” The explained, scratching their head sheepishly. “So, here’s the thing…I imagine you probably woke up to find some food, right?” Reeve nodded a yes to Kai’s question, prompting Kai to continue. “Well you won’t find any. There’s no water or food in this area. _We’re going to die of dehydration in like…3 days_. Unless one of our team manages to beat the game beforehand…although that’s like…pretty much _impossible_ as a duo.”

Reeve’s heart legitimately stopped beating for a few seconds.

 **Oh _fuck_**.

 _Don’t snap Reeve_ , _don’t_. Kai wouldn’t put you in _this_ situation without a good reason. He’s been around the block before, he _has_ to know what he’s doing.

His halfhearted reassurance did little to calm the anger and panic boiling inside him, but at least it kept him from shouting the first thing that came into his mind. Which was “what the fuck!”

“…And you trapped me down here _knowing_ this information _because_?”

Kai suddenly twisted his head side to side, as if searching for something he had lost. “…I know I put it around here somewhere…wait!” They walked towards a nearby table, opening one of its shelves. “…Yep, it’s in here!”

Kai pulled out a clean, shiny switchblade, he jumped the moment he recognized the object, the past events where Kai held one of those still clear in his mind. When Kai shuffled towards him, holding it firmly in his hands, Reeve slowly raised his arms defensively, not even caring about the fact that they were naked anymore.

He was thoroughly surprised when Kai took one of his hands, and placed the blade in the hand, forcing them to clutch it tightly. “I don’t want to have to constantly be the one to put you out of your misery, especially considering I possibly might not _be_ _there_ to do so in the first place.” Giving a calm, strange smile, they gripped his wrist, and raised it near his head. The switchblade pointed towards the side of his skull, producing a tiny, sharp pain. “ _This situation that guarantees a painful, slow death is the perfect environment for learning how to kill yourself_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDlwcnexmSk


	15. Tears of Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time he killed himself, he bawled his eyes out during his last moments...now though...it's nothing more than an escape he performs easily.

…How does one even respond to a statement like that?

How the fuck is he supposed to react to Kai telling him to kill himself…directly after trying to come on to him?!

Why does Kai want him to “learn” how to kill himself anyways?!

Almost as if reading his mind, Kai rolled his eyes, and began to give more detail. “Getting impaled by an icicle is _nothing_ , trust me.” They began. “I’ve died _many_ different deaths Reeve, and you don’t want to experience _half_ of them. Learning how to off yourself is going to be _essential_ to preventing some _not very fun_ times…for example, did you know the average person can live up to around 40 minutes after being shish-kabobbed in 50 different places by spears if they lay _very_ still?” They flicked out a finger at their first example. “Or that it takes a day for alien poison to slowly shut down each of your essential organs until your unable to scream your own name in pain?” A second finger was brought out. “Or that Toros likes to eat his victims legs first, enjoying the torture he gives them?” A final finger struck out of Kai’s hand, and he gave the horrified Reeve a twisted smile. “This is a fucked-up world you live in now Reevie. _I’d rather just stab my head than attempt to continue on with the loop with missing body parts_.”

Kai released his grip on Reeve’s hand, who lowered his arm away from his head, eyeing the blade he held tensely. “Not only that.” Kai continued. “But dehydration is one of the worst ways to go…So once you’re done hanging around this place, or the dehydration process is too painful to bare, then use that knife and stab your head… _don’t_ go for the neck, it won’t kill you instantly and you’ll be choking on your own blood…actually…I could like…just _show_ you how it’s done-”

“ _Please_ don’t.” Reeve begged, alarmed at the very thought of Kai’s suggestion. They blinked at Reeve’s request, confusion on his face. “…Are you sure?” They asked, pointed to their bedroom with their thumb. “Because I have a switchblade of my own…I could get it and show you how to do it properly-”

“Kai do you hear yourself right now?” Reeve asked, his eyes filled with concern and horror. “You’re telling me to _kill myself_ Kai. This isn’t… _this isn’t normal_ , _this isn’t ok_ -”

“Many of the moralities and logic in the real world don’t apply here Reeve.” Kai countered, his lids lowering in annoyance. “You’ll get used to it, like I have.”

“ **WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO GET USED TO THIS!** ” Reeve shouted back, tears brimming his eyes. “We…If we do, how will we even be able to function once we finally escape this place-”

Reeve was silenced by a hand slamming over his mouth. Kai glared at him, Despair and anger plastered on his face. “ _Shut. Up_.” They hissed, out, before cupping his cheeks, and forcefully bringing his face closer to theirs. “I see the problem now. Gustaf told you they were “working on it” didn’t he? You actually fucking _believe_ him, don’t you?” When Reeve didn’t reply, instead staring wide eyed at Kai, shocked into silence. Kai’s brows narrowed further. “ **Newsflash Reeve, _we’re stuck here_! We are _never_ escaping this nightmare. _This_ is your life now**! **And no matter how many times you try to end it, you’ll _alway_ s wake back up in the bunker!**” They began to pant from the force of their voice. “ **DON’T LET THAT BASTARD FILL YOUR MIND WITH DREAMS THAT WILL NEVER COME TRUE! ERASE THE _TINIEST_ BIT OF HOPE IN THAT HEART OF YOURS, BECAUSE _WELCOME TO THE HOLLOW_! _THERE’S NO GOD THAT’S GOING TO SAVE YOU HERE_!**”

By the time Kai’s rant was finished, their tears had dripped onto Reeve’s cheek. Reeve gazed at Kai, shock and…something _similar_ to pity in his heart…

“I’m… _I’m telling you this for your own good Reeve_ …” They explained with a whisper, unconsciously clawing Reeve’s face. He tried to ignore the dull pain from the action. “If you don’t wish for something that will never come true, _you won’t get hurt._ So just…stop it with the high and mighty attitude, and the worrying, and the hope.” They removed their hands from Reeve’s face, and walked towards their discarded bottle of cinnamon whiskey, taking a small swig. “We end when the world ends, and who knows when _that_ will happen. So let’s drink, smoke, and screw our cares away~”

Reeve gazed deeply into Kai’s eyes, something akin to concern growing inside him. It was obvious that Kai was saying this based on his own experience. He couldn’t imagine how horrible Kai must have had it. To wait so long for an escape, and being promised it, but in the end never obtaining that mercy.

And even though there was _now_ a legitimate possibility of them escaping the game, he nodded his head, silently agreeing with Kai’s statements. Not just because he couldn’t let Kai know because of Vanessa’s involvement, but because some of their words had some truth to them. It was only a possibility, and he shouldn’t let his hopes rise too high.

But even as Kai smiled eagerly, and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek in excitement and sending Reeve’s soul to limbo and back, he still didn’t agree with their philosophy. The mercy suicide he understood but not the drugs, not the alcohol, not the complete apathy, and not the carelessness.

Something in him told him he needed to get Kai out of this rut he’s in, but…he didn’t know _how_. _He’s not good with that kind of stuff_. The most he could do is prevent Kai from dragging them down with him.

“...Sooooooo...going back to our _original_ topic. What's your answer? Are you down to fuck?”

Reeve let out an internal shriek. “…I…I-I’m good…thanks.” He mustered out, trying to ignore the fact that his leg was now between Kai’s thighs.

Kai let out a whine in response, but none the less removed himself from Reeve’s body. “… _Fiiiiiiiiine_. _Geez_ you’re no _fun_.” They walked over to the stripper pole, re-wrapping their blanket around them. “Wish the _previous_ Reeve started remembering the loops, _they’d_ be down for it.” They muttered under their breath, skipping towards their room and grabbing the door knob. “Good luck then! See you next loop!” They shouted, shutting the door behind them.

Reeve stared at the shut door for a few moments, before letting out a sigh and collapsing onto their knees. His nerves were on edge. _Holy shit_.

As he stared blankly at the floor, his couldn’t help but wonder about Kai asked them to have sex with him. Did he ask just because he was there? Should he not take it personally?

Reeve didn’t know what to think about it, or how to even _feel_ about _Kai_ _in general_ at this point.

A faint thud was heard from Kai’s bedroom. Reeve raised his head towards the door in confusion.

_“Good luck then! See you next loop!”_

His breathing stopped.

It was all a blur to him. Standing up from the floor and racing towards Kai’s door. The next thing he knew he had slammed it open, and was greeted with Kai’s corpse, lying limping with a knife in his hand as blood gushed out of his head, pouring out onto the pale pink carpet.

**FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK-**

Reeve backed away, tripping and landing onto the floor as he clung onto his stomach. He vomited the little food he still had in him, the image of Kai’s lifeless eyes staining his mind.

For a good while he simply sobbed on the floor in shock. That good while eventually passed, and he deemed himself composed enough to be able to sit up and look at the scene before him without freaking out too much.

Just looking at the wound made him want to throw up again, but he kept his bile in his throat, and shakily stood up, leaning against the walls and slowly stepping towards the body.

This…He should have _known_ Kai would do this. _Fuck_! Their last comment was _so obvious_. He was so _stupid_.

He reached his hand out, poking Kai’s corpse, and was surprised by how warm it still felt, how full of life their skin still was, even if their eyes were lifeless, and bloodshot.

The thing that tore him apart the most was their expression, it was emotionless, blank, almost bored in a way. It didn’t look like their last moments for painful for them _at all_.

Reeve bit his lip, trying to control the tears threatening to spill from his cheeks. He’s died before, and woke up in the bunker. He _knows_ he’ll see Kai alive again.

But…It was still _horrifying_ , seeing this corpse before him. It was horrifying to realize just how…almost _alien_ Kai was mentally. How _easy_ it was for them to do this to themselves.

The worst part was that it was all _his_ fault. He…he could have _stopped_ them. He could have-

…He _should_ have stopped them. He should have told them he wanted to hang out with them more; that he didn’t want them to go yet…maybe _then_ they’d have been the one to see _him_ off instead…he felt for some reason that he could have handled _that_ better than _this_.

…He… _he doesn’t want to be alone in this place_.

He collapsed in front of Kai’s body, and curled himself up into a fetal position. Burying his head into his legs, he slowly breathed in and out. _No_ , he _wasn’t_ going to cry! Not _again_! _He can handle this_!

… _But he ended up crying anyway_. Not out of shock, like minutes before, but out of sadness, and fear… _and possibly, although he wouldn’t admit it then, out of grief_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :''''')


	16. Sensitivity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn it he just wants to get laid! Maybe he should ask Skeet or Adam instead...

Reeve shouldn’t have been surprised when Gustaf suddenly appeared before him, their expression somber, and heartbroken as they stared at the miserable scene before them…and yet he was.

“…Let’s…leave this room Reeve, come on.” They said in a comforting whisper, offering their hand. Reeve took it gratefully, and was led out of the room. Even after the door was shut behind him, he felt he could still smell that irony scent of blood…maybe it was because some of it stained his pant legs.

“The others at headquarters filled me in on what happened…I’m sorry I…I was off interrogating Fredrick.” Reeve shook his head at Gustaf’s apology. “…It’s fine…you wouldn’t have been able to do anything anyways. Kai seems to hate you.” Reeve collapsed onto the his knees, his back sliding against the nearby wall. “…Did Fredrick give you anything new?”

“ _He made the contact lenses._ ”

His eyes widened at the revelation, and he stared at Gustaf in disbelief. “But I thought he said he had nothing to do with the glitch-"

“He didn’t know Vanessa was his client…it was all a coincidence…Not only that but he himself doesn’t know how to fix it. He didn’t even make the virus he put in the contact lenses, his friend in Seattle did.

“…In Seattle?” Reeve began his question. “…Is…that far from where our bodies are right now?”

“No, not too far from Vancouver. Still a different country though. Contacting him and forcing him to respond if he’s difficult will be a _pain_.”

A somber silence followed Gustaf’s comment, which was eventually shattered by the said purple skinned man. “…Are you ok…?” They asked hesitantly, letting out a hollow laugh after hearing their question out loud. “…Sorry, that was a stupid question… _Of course you’re not ok. You just saw Kai kill himself_.”

Reeve blinked a few times, unable to get the image of Kai’s corpse out of his head. “…I…I don’t know what to _do_ Gustaf…” He muttered out, rubbing his hands against his face. “ _What do I do now_?”

“… _I don’t know_ …” Gustaf mumbled back their reply. “…I don’t think I’d _ever_ be able to imagine what you’re going through right now Reeve.”

“ **Not very helpful!** ” Reeve snapped, his eyes glaring at the game show host before him…and then his anger turned to shame, the realization that Gustaf didn’t deserve to be yelled at silencing him.

“…I know.” Gustaf replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. “…If everything works out and Fredrick’s friend turns out to be compliant enough to get rid of the virus for us, then it should only take around a month for us to free you guys from the game…that’s around 2 in game years…” Gustaf continued the previous conversation. “…If Fredrick’s friend turns out to be…difficult…and tries to hid himself, it could take a year at the most…I _think_ …that’s around 20 in game years.”

“…Should I be getting my hopes up?” Reeve asked in a whisper, staring blankly at the dim lighted club of neon blues and pinks before him. Gustaf lowered his head, staring at the sunglasses in his hands. “…I won’t make the same mistake like with Kai, Reeve…I…wouldn’t get your hopes up on 1 real life month. I’m _hoping_ it will only take around 3 to 4, that’d be 6 to 8 in game years, but even _that’s_ …” Gustaf let out a tired sigh, turning his head towards Reeve and gazing at them in sadness. “… _You’re going to have to keep the secret for quite a while Reeve_ …”

Reeve let out a shaky sigh, and buried his head into his knees. “…Can I…be alone please?”

Gustaf nodded, although Reeve couldn’t see it. Before he knew it they had disappeared into nothing.

Reeve for a good while only sat there against the wall, surrounded by the silence. The uncomfortable, lonely silence.

…It took a while for him to realize that the switchblade Kai had given him was still in his hand.

He raised it up, eyeing the reflection of his eyes on the blade. His throat was already feeling pretty parched, and his stomach had already been making short growling sounds…not only that, but Kai…

He didn’t want to sit in this silence any longer. _There was nothing to do here_ …nothing _healthy_ anyways.

He levitated the blade with his telekinesis, and flew it far away from himself, flipping it and pointing it towards the side of his head. It was taking every ounce of his strength to not drop it, to not give up. He _knew_ he’d come back, that he’d be ok…but he just…it was _so hard_ regardless.

He began to slowly breath in, and slowly breath out. _Don’t think about it_ …just…let the knife fly into your skull, do it without a second thought.

 _And he did_.

His primal instincts made him regret his action the moment he felt the blade pierce through his skin.

He collapsed onto the ground gasping for breath as blood poured out of his head, his mind fuzzy, and his vision quickly swirling and darkening.

The pain was over before he knew it, and everything went black.

“…W-who are you? Where the hell am I?”

“…I should be asking the same question! Who are _you_?!”

Reeve woke up inside the all too familiar bunker for the fourth time, listening to Vanessa and Skeet’s familiar voices shout all too recognizable questions at each other from each of their respective corners.

He internally sighed, already somewhat bored of the scene he had seen before, but none the less put up his façade, and faked a shocked expression. “…The hell? What’s going on!?” He shouted in confusion. “Who are you two?!”

He didn’t have time to think about the fact that he killed himself until after the three of them escaped the bunker.

It was actually the main thing on his mind. He felt around the side of his head, where he remembered the blade had stuck itself, and although he felt on wound, a dull pain still surrounded it. It was giving him a headache…

…it was also giving him a mental break down, he felt like he was going to break and collapse at any moment.

He killed himself.

 _He fucking killed himself_.

 _And he’s still alive_.

“…H-hey!”

Reeve, along with Vanessa and Skeet, raised their head towards the direction of an all to familiar voice.

_Kai_ stood behind one of the trees, a frightened and worried expression on his face. “…P-please…could you help us?” He shakily begged, his eyes filled with fake tears. “…We…don’t know where we are and-”

“…We don’t know either!” Vanessa replied with a hopeful expression, after eyeing Kai in confusion. It’s likely she was wondering why she was meeting the other team so early on in the game. Despite her confusion though, it seemed she was going to take this to her advantage. “We woke up inside this bunker, and almost got gassed…Not to mention the whole amnesia thing!”

“…R-really?” Kai shouted out in excitement, stepping away from the tree, and giving his best relieve smile. “Me and two others woke up in a bunker too! With no memories either! Have we both been kidnapped by the same person?”

Vanessa and Kai ended up chatting for quite a while, until Kai suggested they team up. It wasn’t long before Kai was by his side, guiding them towards the direction of his acquaintances. “There’s a shack up ahead. I went out to explore the place. The people I woke up with are in there, waiting.”

Vanessa led the while, while Skeet crossed his arms behind his neck and spaced out, bored out of his mind. Kai and Reeve were a ways back, and for a while, there was no exchange between the two.

Reeve raised his hand towards the side of his head, rubbing it and noticing how the pain was beginning to subside.

He wasn’t expecting Kai’s hand to push his own away, and feel around the same spot. “…So, it was _here_ huh? Good spot.” Kai muttered, his expression proud, with a dark smirk. “How long did it take for you to muster the willpower to do it?”

Reeve frowned at Kai’s question, a mixture of anger and worry slowly filling his veins. “…10 minutes.”

“Aaaaaaah…not bad for your first time! I’m proud of you~” They lilted out, patting the top of his head with smiling eyes. “I was excited to hear how you did so I obviously helped finish the bunker puzzle as quickly as I could, just so I could find you guys here-”

“ _Why didn’t you tell me you were going to kill yourself?_ ”

Kai was taken aback by Reeve’s sudden question, his voice harsh as he stared at the ground he walked on. “…I did? _“See you next loop!”_ I thought it was obvious-”

“ _It wasn’t!_ ” Reeve raised his head up, glaring in fury at the red-head next to him as tears threatened to escape his eyes. “That was _way_ too vague! Don’t…don’t _do_ that…if you’re going to kill yourself tell me _outright_.”

Kai gazed emotionlessly at the ball of emotions before him, before a wide, teasing smirk slowly spread across his face. “… _Awwwwww~ Reevie~_ ” The purred out, leaning their body against his and trailing a circle over their shirt. “I didn’t know you _cared_ so much about me-”

“I-it’s not that!” Reeve replied, barely above a whisper as he tried to keep their conversation a secret from the others. “I mean…of _course_ I’d care! Like any other person! I’m not a monster! But I mean I’d _prefer_ to not be surprised by a corpse when I walk into your room!”

“…Reevie.” Kai began, staring at him blankly. “… _Why did you walk into my room anyways_?”

Reeve blinked in confusion at the question. “…I heard a thu-”

But Kai was already jumping to conclusions, his eyes teasing and eager. “Oh _I_ get it! _Wanted to see me changing huh?_ ”

Reeve’s cheeks reddened at this accusation. “ _N-no-_ ”

“Geez if you wanted to see me naked so bad you could have just said yes when I asked to have sex with you!”

“ _That’s not_ -”

“Better yet you could have just looked down! You’re such a virgin, it’s adorable-”

Kai was silenced by Reeve’s hand, his face flushed red as he stared intently at the floor. “You’re missing the point!” He hissed out. “Just… _don’t scare me like that anymore_ …”

Kai, after a moment of stared at the mess that was Reeve, nodded his head, and removed Reeve’s hand from his mouth. “…Ok. I’ll try to be more clear from now on.”

…That went…better than Reeve expected.

He shook his head, clearing away the blush from his face and regaining his composure.

And then instantly lost it when, after Kai glanced at Vanessa and Skeet’s unaware backs, he pulled Reeve closer to him and gently bit his ear.

“Seriously though, you don’t have to worry so much. I can show you how it’s done~”

…He…

 _He was going to have a fucking stroke_ -

“Is this it Kai?” Vanessa called out, alerting the two teens of their arrival to their destination. Kai eyed the shack before them, covered in yellow and black and warning signs. “…Yep! Let me go inside and tell them what’s up!” They shouted, sprinting away towards Reeve and disappearing inside the small wooden building.

Skeet raised an eyebrow at his fellow hostage, who leaned over, his hands on his knees as he stared wide eyed at the ground. “…You ok man?”

Reeve managed a simple nod. “…Y-yeah…I-I’m just…tired of all this walking.”

His hormonal teenage body was screaming that he wanted Kai to bite him again, but his mind was saying He _really_ shouldn’t entertain these thoughts.

 _Fuck_.

 _What the fuck does he do if Kai keeps pushing him like this_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop woop new chapter-


	17. The Inquiry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God, sometimes they can be so indecisive...

Adam was definitely suspicious of Reeve and his teammates. When Kai dragged them and Mira out of the shack, he gave the three strangers a cautious glare, and slowly stepped towards them. “…So you guys are in the same boat as us?” Skeet nodded eagerly. “Yeah! We have no idea where or who we are! Didn’t even know our names till we found a piece of paper in our pockets!”

“…Just like us…” Adam muttered under his breath. Mira stepped closer towards the strangers. “…What are your names?” She asked with a friendly smile. Vanessa was quick to introduce herself and her mutuals. “I’m Vanessa, the one with the red shirt is Reeve, and the one with the beanie is Skeet. You’re Mira, right? Kai’s told us aaaaall about you and Adam…who I’m assuming is mister grumpy pants here~” She tilted her head towards the side, teasing the Latino, who’s glare strengthened.

Kai and Reeve watched the four teens exchange. Giving each other a knowing glance.

Reeve felt that pain again…the pain of watching these for kids, just like them, going about their business completely unaware of the true nature of this world…of their situation. And once more he felt a desire to tell them what’s going on.

But he knew he shouldn’t, especially with Vanessa. He couldn’t risk her self-hatred getting her killed 5 times over.

After a few more questions from Adam, which him and his teammates answered, they cooled down, and gave him and his teammates a friendly smile. “…Well, the more the merrier, I guess. Let’s all work together and figure out what happened to us! And…hopefully find a way home.”

And that’s what the 6 of them started doing. After a few more minutes of searching through the shack as a 6 member team. They traveled towards the gate, found the switch that turned off the electricity running through the fence, and made an easy escape out of the enclosure they were trapped in, without any trouble.

…Which was _odd_ , because _usually_ the demon dogs would find them and chase them down before they even reached the gate…maybe it was because everyone didn’t make too much noise?

…Reeve had… _a theory_. He saw a tiny blood splotch near Kai’s shoulder, barely covered by their collar shirt, and looking almost half washed, like Kai was trying to clean it off earlier.

He also saw a switchblade in one of their pockets, surprisingly enough…it was covered completely in blood, and stained the fabric it leaned against.

… _Reeve didn’t want to determine if his theory was true_.

After escaping the enclosure, and reaching a dead end, they decided to just follow the edge, hoping to find a town in the distance where they could find a police station, ask for help, and stay somewhere for the night. Reeve and Kai knew none of these existed, but they weren’t going to say anything.

The wandering went on for what felt like hours, and hours, and hours, until eventually Adam stopped them in place, his usual ~~annoying~~ commanding tone addressing the 5 of them. “We’ve been at it for _hours_. We’ll have to make a campfire and rest for the night.”

“We could keep going.” Reeve blurted out, despite knowing there was nowhere safe they could go in this world. “We’ll have to reach something _eventually_.” A part of him said it just because Adam pissed him off…god, _why_ did they piss him off? They didn’t _do_ anything ~~but be a bossy jerk-~~

“How tired is everyone right now?”

The five of them, their eye-bags hanging under their eyes, let out small moans as answers.

“…That’s what I thought.” Adam spoke, a confident smirk on his face. “Let’s set a place up away from the cliff. Don’t want any accidents happening.”

Mira and Skeet searched for firewood together, while him and Kai cleared up the chosen spot. Adam and Vanessa conversed with one another, possibly sorting out a plan for tomorrow. Reeve couldn’t hear much, but Vanessa sounded…unusually compliant? Probably trying to butter the guy up.

When enough wood was brought into a pile, the 6 of them just stood their in silence, staring at the wood, and then at each other. “…Anyone been to a camp or…know how to make a fire?” Adam asked after a short, awkward silence.

Everyone shrugged to the first question, and shook their heads at the last.

Kai, in response to this predicament, crouched down and slammed his hand against the wood pile in a fake frustration. “Argh! What did we do to deserve this-”

And the moment Kai slammed his hand against the wood, the entire thing combusted into flames, startling everyone away, except Reeve.

…Make it look like an accident so no one knows you already know your powers. _Clever_.

“K-Kai! What did you do!?” Mira shouted in shock, staring at the red-head with wide eyes, who raised his hand up and stared at his hand in “shock.” “I-I…I don’t know!” He shouted back, tears slipping down his cheeks at just the right moment. “I…why doesn’t my hand hurt?!”

Adam of course ended up calming everyone down, including Kai, although they technically didn’t need to be calmed down. Adam didn’t know that though. that was _the point_. It was _an act_. _This was all an act_.

…Reeve was already so _tired_ of acting. Not like it was exhausting to him. It was more like it was just so… _painful_ to keep up a façade.

The conversation around the fire was lively, but Reeve didn’t partake much in it. Kai hardly did either, he seemed to be off in a different world.

Shortly afterwards. They all laid in their respective spots and went to sleep…everyone except himself.

His eyes we closed, but he was still wide awake. He couldn’t stop thinking about his situation, about what had happened earlier, about Gustaf’s estimates.

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt someone lazily plop their body on top of him. He quickly opened his eyes, and was greeted with Kai’s face, which was unusually close, and supported by two hands, connected to elbows that propped itself from the ground on either side of his shoulders.

Reeve almost screamed. Luckily Kai covered his mouth and shushed him quietly, preventing him from waking up the others from their peaceful slumber.

“…Kai, _what do you want_?” Reeve asked in annoyance after his heart began to beat at a normal pace, avoiding their gaze and staring blankly at the stars.

“ _You_.”

Reeve didn’t think it was possible to choke on thin air.

 _He was wrong_.

Kai giggling at him and telling him it was a joke didn’t make him feel better.

“…Think of our situation like this.”

“…Kai wh-”

“ _Don’t interrupt me_. Anyways, imagine we’re teachers, taking our students on a field trip. And we told them the Easter Bunny was waiting at the end of said trip.

“Why would the Eas-”

Reeve was interrupted by Kai flicking his nose in punishment. “ _Because shut up_. Anyways, unfortunately, the Easter bunny told us he wasn’t going to come beforehand. We should tell the kids…” Kai trailed off, turning his head to the side to focus his gaze on the 4 other teens around the campfire. “But look at them. They’re so happy, and hopeful, and innocent…you don’t want to ruin that, do you?”

Reeve slowly closed his mouth, understanding where this was going.

“…So you don’t tell the kids about the Easter bunny’s disappearance. You show them the wonders of the trip, and in the end, when the Easter bunny comes…and _this_ is actually where my analogy gets shitty so I’ll stop and speak in literal terms.” Kai raised his hand towards Reeve’s face, gently caressing it. “…They don’t _have_ to know that salvation is dead Reeve…so they _shouldn’t_ know…I’ve wished for someone like you to come along _plenty_ of times, but then I always thought to myself “ _god_ no! I’d never wish this hell on _anyone_!”” Kai’s sober gaze pierced deep into Reeve’s soul, giving him a…sort of somber feeling. Not sadness just…something he couldn’t describe.

“…But I mean, _you’re_ here now, and you remember the loops, so you _have_ to understand how hopeless all of this is… _but_ _they don’t_. _Let them be happy_ _and oblivious Reeve_. _We’ll_ be the teachers that don’t know the Easter Bunny isn’t coming… _this_ is why we act Reeve, and as _painful_ as it is… _would you force your misery onto others that don’t need to feel it_?”

Reeve opened his mouth, and then shut it, unsure of how to respond to that. Does he agree with what Kai says?

The truth is always better than a lie…but… _wasn’t he keeping a lie right now_?

He ended up slowly nodding, after a moment of deep pondering. “…Thanks.” He muttered in a whisper. “I’m kind of shocked you know what was wrong with me.”

Kai smirked in pride in response. “I could just tell. I’ve been through the same shit too. I know how you’re feeling right now…it’s all overwhelming isn’t it?” Reeve only nodded again in agreement, letting out a quiet sigh.

“…I could give you a blowjob if you want. Might keep your mind off of things for a bit.”

W-

Reeve bit his lip in shock at Kai’s proposal, his eyes wide as he began to sweat in panic. “…I-I…” He began, his voice pitched significantly higher. “I thought you said you didn’t-”

“I want _your dick_ Reeve. _There’s a difference_.”

“But _why?!_ ”

“Because I’m _bored_ and _horny_.”

“But why _me_?!”

“ _Who else am I supposed to go to_? _Adam_? His size is _painfully_ average. Skeet has a couple inches on you but his technique is _boring_. You have the best of both worlds!”

The implications from that sentence Reeve would ignore for now. “B-but I mean… _Why_ _are you having sex_?! What do you get out of it-”

“ _Pleasure_. Do I need another reason?” Kai sighed out in annoyance. Raising himself up a bit and placing his hands beside Reeve’s head. The two teens foreheads touching each other as their both stared into each other’s eyes. “… _Listen_.” Kai began. “If you find having sex with me revolting _just say so outright_ instead of asking questions that don’t matter. _Don’t lead me on and make me believe I have a chance for a good time_.”

Reeve could feel his heart racing. The idea of giving in was so _tempting_ , and the feeling of Kai’s knee against his crotch was exciting him.

But he couldn’t give in. Something in him told him that this would only lead to _pain_. He didn’t know _why_. He just felt that way.

“…It’s just…” …Shit, he doesn’t have a valid excuse! Quick! Think of one! “We’re near the others, they’ll hear us.”

“I know a spot aways from here. Nice view from the cliff, well shaded. A boulder for the more adventurous positions~”

“But what if someone wakes up and notices we’re not here? What if they find us?”

“Then we’ll be “those two that fucked 5 minutes into knowing each other.” Getting caught in the act isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you you know…”

“But…we don’t even _like_ each other that way! Why should we-”

“ _You don’t need to like the person to enjoy the sex Reeve_. You just need to find them attractive.” Kai raised himself up, sitting on Reeve’s lap and crossing his arms. “Do you think I’m attractive?”

“…Yeah? I guess…”

“Do I feel a boner near my knee?”

Reeve let out a defeated sigh, blushing furiously. “… _Y-yeah_.”

“ _Boom_.” Kai said, gently clapping his hands together. “ _You’re horny_. We have the two necessary ingredients for sex. Love is just that extra thing that makes it a bit more special.” Kai once again crouched down towards Reeve, their nose barely touching his. “ _Yay or nay Reeve_? Make a decision already so I can either get some sleep or get rammed.”

Reeve was caught between a corner, forced to choose from two decisions…the _exact opposite_ of what he wanted. Eventually, he slowly breathed in, and gave his answer. “…I…I’m just…not right now…sorry.”

The short silence that followed was slowly dragging Reeve down to the underworld. _Please_ say something.

“…Ok.” Kai stated bluntly, rolling off of Reeve and pushing themselves up to the ground. “G’night Reeve.”

…

…J…

 _Just like that_?

“…Ok?” Reeve asked, lifting himself up by his elbows and staring at Kai in confusion.

“…Yeah? You gave your answer, so I’m going to get some sleep now…unless you changed your mind?”

“…N-no I haven’t…I…Goodnight Kai.”

Kai shrugged, and walked back towards his spot opposite from Reeve, almost collapsing onto his makeshift bed of leaves.

Reeve didn’t get any sleep that night, as those around him rested peacefully.

His body was making him regret that he had said no. But he couldn’t deal with it, he didn’t know if there was a water source nearby where he could wash his hands afterwards.

…Dear god, if one exists, _please_ let his boner go away in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm deadass considering making this fanfic E rated and adding full on sex but IDK.
> 
> Anyways have fun with this mistake-


	18. Temptations from The Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How could anyone love him? Look at him~ he...hE's A mOnS-

It seemed whatever gods out there heard him. By the time he woke up from his approximately 1-hour long sleep, his boner was gone.

After everyone woke up, Adam was quick to urge everyone to continue on. They all once more followed the edge of the cliff. Their legs no longer aching, and their energy restored…except Reeve, who hung at the back, exhausted beyond belief.

Kai acted almost as if last night never happened. Teasing him about his insomnia…but surprisingly keeping his words pg-13 instead of admiring the fact that he endured his hard-on for that long…at least that’s what he would _think_ Kai would comment on.

Kai completely stopped his advances, and it _did_ relieve Reeve…somewhat.

Kai began to chat with Adam more, teasing…actually, it looked more like he was _flirting_ with Adam?

It…was kind of _worrying_ Reeve.

This worry stuck with him when they finally reached the desert. It hung above him when they all escaped the witches, and it stayed close to him when he saw Kai begin to make out with Adam in the driver’s seat of a spaceship they had just fixed in the distance.

It worried Reeve, how Kai seemed perfectly fine with _anyone_ they found hot.

But he didn’t know _why_. He wasn’t slut-shaming! Kai can do what he wants! He just…Seeing Kai like _that_ , completely willing to give himself up to anyone without a single care in the world… _it concerned him_.

Sipping his iced tea, he respectfully turned his head away when Kai lowered the glass shield of the ship, and then lowered his head towards Adam’s crotch.

“Sooooo…how’s the iced tea? Not too sweet?” Reeve blinked at the hooded figure before him, who gave him a friendly smile. Reeve didn’t think he’d be eating Death’s cinnamon scones, but here he was now, doing so…at least digitally.

He shook his head. “It’s fine.” He muttered. He hoped Mira and Vanessa would hurry up and get that medicine soon…at least Skeet was here.

“… _Dang_.” Skeet mumbled, pointing at the newly fixed spaceship in the distance. “Are those two doing what I _think_ they’re doing?”

“ _Dude_.” Reeve replied emotionlessly, “Don’t be like that. Look away and let them have their privacy.”

“Better not smell all weird in there. I ain’t gonna go in if so.”

“So you’d rather die then?” Reeve asked with a raised eyebrow, staring at Skeet, who continued to watch the two teens inside the spaceship, almost as if he wanted to look away but couldn’t. “… _No_ , I guess…where do you think we are right now?” Skeet decided to change the subject, finally overcoming the temptation and focusing his gaze towards Reeve with a curious look. “Like, did we get transported into some fantasy world?”

Reeve already knew the answer, but it’s not like he could be completely truthful. “…How about a video game?” He said with a suggesting tone.

Skeet ended up laughing at that remark. “A _video_ _game_?! _No way_! Although that’d be pretty cool. It’d explain our super powers.”

Reeve felt his heart tighten at Skeet’s remark.

No, it definitely _isn’t cool_. This game _isn’t fun_. It’s _a prison_ , and Skeet didn’t know it…

He kept that thought to himself, and took another sip of his tea. Not even bothering to add on to the conversation.

“…Hey.” Skeet began, staring at Reeve with surprising seriousness. “You ok man? You always look kinda down…”

Reeve mustered up a strained smile, gently punching Skeet’s shoulder. “I’m fine man! I just have resting sad face.” His justification seemed to convince Skeet enough for them to let it slid. “Alright, if you say so. I got your back though.”

Reeve didn’t have time to reply. The sounds of confident sand steps alerted Skeet and Reeve, and they twirled on their chair, beholding a happy go lucky Kai, who sat next to Reeve and let out a content sigh.

In the distance, Adam nearly collapsed onto the desert ground, their legs shaking like jello as they panted for breath.

“ _Daaaaaaaamn_ Kai! what did you and Adam _do_? He looks completely wrecked!”

“Oh! I just showed him how a _real_ cowboy rides a horse, that’s all!” Kai giggled out, a cocky smirk on his face. It was the truest Reeve had ever seen Kai around the others. “…So you and Adam dating now?” He questioned casually, staring at his drink blankly.

“No, just casual.” Kai answered. He wiggled his eyebrows at Skeet, a wide smirk plastered on his face. “So if _Skeet_ ever wants to learn how it’s done as well, all he has to do is ask. _I’m open_ ~”

Skeet nearly laughed their ass off at first, possibly taking it as a joke…until they saw Kai’s expression, which remained suggestive. That’s when they realize Kai was serious, and started sweating as a result. “… _H-holy shit_.” They muttered under their breath, pulling at their shirt collar with a flushed face. “Y-yeah! I’ll keep that in mind dude!”

Adam finally reached the three boys at that point, and collapsed onto a nearby chair, next to Skeet, completely drained. “…O-one more iced tea please.” He lilted out, still woozy from the afterglow.

Skeet’s conversation he started with the worn-out leader was drowned out by Kai tugging his sleeve, urging him to follow them. Reeve did so without hesitation.

Once they were at a respectable distance from the fake bar, Reeve finally asked a question that had emerged from his mind. “…Y’know…” Reeve began. “Aren’t you technically taking advantage of them?”

Kai raised an eyebrow at this remark. “How so?”

“…I mean…they could fall in love with you, you know. What are you going to do when that happens? Are you going to keep using them despite knowing their feelings for you?”

“Their feelings will be gone by the next loop.” Kai countered; his arms crossed behind his head. “It won’t matter.”

“…That’s part of the problem though.” Reeve retorted, forcing Kai to a standstill by clinging onto his shoulder. “You’re having sex with them because you _know_ there are no consequences to your actions…That’s incredibly selfish.”

“ _And who says it’s wrong for me to be selfish_?” The redhead’s gaze pierced into Kai’s soul, silencing him. “What I’m doing won’t hurt them Reeve. Not by a long shot. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried.” Reeve partially lied. “I just…” But he couldn’t find an excuse for his interrogation, and so his sentence was left incomplete.

Kai decided to complete it for him. “…Reeve, are you salty about the fact that I quickly moved on after you rejected my advances?” He accused, a teasing smirk on his face.

Reeve jumped in response to Kai’s question, and was quick to deny it. “N-no! I don’t care about what you do with your-”

“ _You really shouldn’t take my flirting so personally_.” Kai stated, silencing Reeve once more. “I’m not going to wait for you to be ready Reeve, I have needs, and if you can’t meet them then _they_ can.”

“…I’m surprised you even _remember_ last night.” Reeve growled out lowly. Frustration filling his heart. “Thought for sure the game must have erased it from your memory-”

His mouth wasn’t able to finish his sentence, as Kai forcefully pressed their lips against them, digging their nails into his hair.

Reeve was paralyzed into place, the hot feeling of Kai exploring every inch of his mouth with their tongue driving him to the very edge. He slowly raised his arms, clinging onto the edge of Kai’s shirt, and unconsciously kissed back.

When Kai’s lips finally separated from his, a line of drool connecting them together, Reeve realized with shame that the kiss was incredibly short lived. He was already so excited down below just from a 10 second make out session. _Fuck_. _What was wrong with him_?!

Why did he find Kai attractive anyways? Sure, their hair was _pretty_ , and their lips were _soft_ , and they had a nice ass, he wasn’t going to lie, but…well, he supposed _that’s_ why actually…

“ _You’re giving me mixed signals Reeve_.” They whispered seductively into his ear, removing one of their hands and trailing Reeve’s stomach, their fingers inches away from an area that desperately wanted attention. “ _What do you want from me_? To apologize for destroying your pride? To play you little “hard to get” game? Because you’re getting _none_ of that. _Take me right now or stop trying to antagonize me like this_.” They said, torturing him physically by raising their hands back up to his face ~~instead of down towards his crotch where he wants it~~. “Stop being so damn indecisive, _it’s annoying_.”

He really shouldn’t.

He wants Kai. He hates to admit it, but he wants them so bad right now.

 _But he really shouldn’t_. His gut was _screaming_ at him, telling him this was a _bad idea_ , to indulge in _this_.

He wasn’t able to think of the answer he would give Kai however, because a portal suddenly appeared close in front of them. Kai was quick to separate from Reeve, huffing out in annoyance at being interrupted. “…Oh _yeah_ , the reason why I dragged you with me in the first place.” Kai muttered, staring expectantly at the portal, as if waiting for something.

And that something was Vanessa and Mira, who emerged from the portal calmly, completely safe and unharmed.

“...Oh hey!” Vanessa spoke with excitement. “We got the medicine. Any idea where Death’s horse is right now?”

Reeve blinked slowly, confusion and concern growing inside his mind. “…Nothing…attacked you?” He asked hesitantly. Mira and Vanessa shook their heads. “Nope! The only thing that gave us a scare was a racoon searching for trash inside the shack.” Mira explained, letting out a light-hearted giggle. “Rude guy, but he didn’t cause any troub…”

Mira trailed off, and the two girls stared in surprise at something below Reeve. He was confused, having no idea what they were looking at… _until he realized they were specifically staring at his crotch_.

He quickly grabbed the hem of his shirt and covered his _problem_ with it, his face as red as a tomato. “I- _I-_ ”

“Oh It’s ok Reeve~” Vanessa waved the issue away, a teasing smirk on her face. “ _It just happens sometimes_!”

Reeve internally screamed in embarrassment as the two girls waltzed away, giggling at what they just saw.

He shifted his gaze towards Kai, who stared at him with mocking eyes and a wide smile. “… _Thanks_.” He growled out in anger, letting out a huff of embarrassment and staring intently at the floor.

“…What’s your answer?”

Reeve sighed at Kai’s immediate question, and after a moment of thought…he decided to discard the warning in his gut.

“…I… _doing stuff like that with you isn’t a no per say_ …”

“…What’s stopping you then? Your conscience?” Kai walked back towards Reeve, their lips only inches from his own. “Do you think you’re going to go to hell if you have sex before marriage?”

“N-no! It’s not that…it’s just…I have a bad feeling about this…” He reluctantly explained. “I feel like…indulging in this is only going to lead to misery, and I don’t know _why_ …I’m…” No…he wouldn’t say it. He wouldn’t say he was afraid of what would happen if he gave into his desires.

“…You’re afraid you’re going to fall in love with me.”

It wasn’t a question, more a simple statement, and Reeve was shocked at that. “…If…even _I_ can’t understand why I feel this way how can you-”

“ _Don’t_ lie to me Reeve.” Kai commanded, shutting down Reeve’s question. “You’ve _always_ known exactly why you felt this way, at least subconsciously. Your mind refuses to even so much as _think_ of the prospect of being good friends with me, let alone lovers,” They placed their hand under Reeve’s chin, forcing him to face them. “You’re stubborn like that. You form an opinion on someone and then you _refuse_ to change it, no matter _what_ happens. _Even when you’ve fucked me before I could tell how much you wanted to keep on hating me_. _Perhaps that’s why you’re usually so rough_?”

Reeve opened his mouth, trying to form some sort of justification for himself…but nothing came, and he stood there, gawking.

“...You often like to see things as either black or white. That philosophy however doesn’t work so well in the real world, and it especially doesn’t work here.” Kai finished their accusation. Their eyes staring hard at Reeve, waiting for a response.

That response wouldn't come. Reeve’s mouth finally shut, and he slowly lowered his head, his face somber at the realization that Kai was technically _right_. All this time, he had _constantly_ ridiculed himself for caring so much about Kai’s well-being. And it was _only_ because of that first impression he had of the red-head, which has long since died at this point.

“…You don’t have to worry about falling in love with me you know…” Kai nearly whispered. Reeve opened his eyes, staring at the sandy ground below. “…Why’s that?”

“…I mean, _look at me_.” Kai cupped Reeve’s cheeks, and forced him to stair at their neck, which was laden with hickies that Adam had given him earlier. “ _How could you fall in love with someone with 0 decency_?” They giggled out. “You’d have to be an _idiot_ to fall for a man-slut! And I know you aren’t _that_!”

Kai’s reasoning did little to assure Reeve…quite the opposite in fact. It _concerned_ him.

“… _Kai_ …you’re not-”

“Anyways, the others will be calling for us soon, so our little rendezvous will have to wait until _later_ Reevie~” Kai lilted out, flicking Reeve’s nose and sauntering away from him, perfectly at ease. “Unless of course, you want me to quickly take care of your problem _right now_! Little beta test of what I have in store for you~”

“…I… _um_ …”

“And _boom_ you took too long, have fun with your boner Reeve.” Kai lowered his eyelids in annoyance, and skipped off towards the others, leaving a flustered, concerned, and dread-filled Reeve to stand there awkwardly, clinging onto the hem of his shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here have some more bullshit, now with extra spice:


	19. Head in the clouds of pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dude he was right there! why didn't they just ask?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO UH...THIS CHAPTER HAS FULL ON SEXUAL CONTENT. I DECIDED TO SAY FUCK IT AND MADE THE FIC EXPLICIT.
> 
> So keep this in mind before you continue. Thank you!

Riding in a spaceship was completely thrilling to Reeve.

The moving, glistening ocean below dazzled his eyes, and the clouds up above flew away from them at a quick pace, almost as if they were racing to see who could get away the fastest.

He stared at the scenery for a long time, completely in awe. He didn’t think about the fact that it wasn’t real, or the fact that is was part of a huge never-ending prison. He was actually happy for once, since Kai had filled him in on what was going on a few loops ago.

“The sun’s almost set.” Adam commented from the seat next to him. “Hey Kai! We should land somewhere and crash for the night!”

Once again bossy Adam was being bossy. Reeve thought to himself, rolling his eyes both in anger at Adam and in frustration at the unnecessary anger he had in the first place. Maybe he knew Adam before the game? If so, then his mind, even without memories, was picking up feelings he had before all this, and if his theory was true, he’d have to ask Gustaf what happened… _if_ they even knew. He honestly doubted it. What kind of adult would be caught up in their teen angst bullshit?

“Alrighty!” Kai shouted out his reply, pressing a couple buttons and twisting the steering wheel around. “…This looks like a good spot to land in!”

It was the clearing, where the ironwood tree was. Kai must have been driving them their to save time fucking around in lighthouses.

The spaceship landed softly to the ground, and everyone gave a sigh of relief, unbuckling themselves from their seats. “I’m gonna crash now!” Skeet stated, lounging on his seat and closing his eyes, waiting for his exhaustion to overtake him.

Everyone shortly did the same. Vanessa also crashed in her seat, while Adam and Mira took a corner in the seating room and rested their bodies on the floor. Kai himself seemed to have fallen asleep in the captain’s chair. At least Reeve assumed they were sleeping. Their chair was eerily still.

Reeve shrugged it off, and leaned his head against one of the arms of his seats. Completely deadbeat tired, he finally fell asleep with relative ease.

“ _Harder_ ~”

The feeling of Kai’s insides was setting Reeve’s entire body on fire… _metaphorically_.

He pounded in and out, in and out. A never-ending rhythm of using Kai’s body to its fullest. The red-head moaned out in bliss, clinging onto Reeve’s arms, his hands placed beside their head. “M-more~”

“More huh?” Reeve purred out, temporarily stopping his hips from rocking, earning a desperate whine from Kai. “ _Beg for me_. Then I’ll give you more.”

Almost as if a flip was switched inside Kai’s mind, they gripped Reeve’s shoulders and suddenly flipped him over. They began to relentlessly ride his dick, making him moan out in pleasure.

They bit his neck, covered in various recent hickies, and whispered into Reeve’s ear. “If you won’t give me what I want, I’ll just do it myself.” They whispered into Reeve’s ear seductively, increasing their pace. Their panting breath sent shivers down Reeve’s spine, but he managed to compose himself, and gripped Kai’s hips, thrusting into his sweet spot and forcing a shriek of pleasure out on him. “I thought we said _I_ was in charge.” He growled out, kissing Kai’s lips furiously and exploring every inch of their mouth with his tongue.

A soft, suddenly calm giggle came out of Kai’s throat, and suddenly, Reeve was pinned harder against the white bed, Kai’s hands wrapped tightly around his neck, not enough to choke him, but enough to alarm him.

“ _Do you really think you’re in charge of your own fantasy_?” Kai lilted out, staring at Reeve with dark eyes as a twisted smile spread on his face.

Reeve woke up, nearly yelping out in shock as he abrupted lifted himself up on his seat. His skin was sweaty, his mind was swirling, and his pants were strained.

Oh _god_! Did he _seriously_ just have a wet dream about Kai?!

He slowly breathed in, and slowly breathed out, attempting to calm himself down. He stared at his crotch, frowning at the boner he now had. _Gee_ , he was getting _a lot_ of those lately. He wonders _why_. _God damn it Kai_ …

…Maybe he should just quickly take care of it?

_But he could wake up the others_!

He _would_ just leave the spaceship and go off somewhere to deal with his situation, but that would require waking up _Kai_ and asking him to open the glass shield. He didn’t want Kai teasing him about this. They seemed observant as hell. They’d _know_ the dream was about them.

Plus, he _really_ didn’t want Kai to put him on the spot like they usually do, if they try to come onto him again. He’d rather avoid having to make a choice all together until he had more time to think about him and Kai and… _whatever their relationship was at this point_.

The fear of being caught filled every fiber of his being, but he _really_ didn’t want to have to wait it out like last time.

And so here he was in the dead of the night, zipping his pants open and stroking his dick, trying his best not to make a single sound.

 _God_ he was pathetic. Hormones _suck_.

He tried to keep his mind empty, in fear of what he would start thinking about if he _did_ rile up his imagination. It didn’t work, and Kai’s lips filled his mind as he increased his pace.

Why couldn’t he have just thought of random men or women, why _Kai_?

He felt a hand gently place itself on his shoulder, and he nearly screamed out in response, jerking his head towards the hands source.

 _Speak of the devil_.

“…Why are you masturbating when you can just use _me_?” Kai asked in a whisper, their eyebrow raised in confusion, and their hands placed on the arms of the seat he sat on. Reeve stared wide eyed at Kai, like a deer caught in headlights.

“…I thought you were asleep.” Reeve whispered back, ignoring Kai’s question and grabbing the hem of his shirt, lowering it over his crotch.

Kai must have disapproved of this gesture, because they grabbed Reeve’s wrists and tugged at them. “Don’t be shy.” Kai almost commanded. “I’m not going to mock you…not right now. Let me suck it.”

…Well _that_ was _partially_ the opposite of what he expected.

Reeve observed his surroundings, thankful that no one had awoken from their slumber.

He…He wanted to give in… _but_ …

… _No_. He wasn’t going to be a coward; he wasn’t going to second guess himself. He made his choice back at the desert.

Giving into his desires and ignoring his dread, he slowly nodded. “…Let’s go somewhere else.” Reeve said, loosening his grip on the hem of his shirt. “We don’t want to-”

He nearly smacked his hand over his mouth as he felt Kai’s tongue slide along his dick. A soft moan nearly escaping his throat. “…H-hey.” He muttered out shakily. “W-wait-”

“The fear of being caught makes it more exciting doesn’t it?” Kai lilted out, drawing a circle around the tip with their tongue. “Does it feel good?”

Reeve could only nod, letting out a soft grunt when Kai began to pepper kisses along the shaft, eyeing at Reeve for a reaction. “Get ready.” They warned with a smirk.

Reeve only had 3 seconds to process the warning before his dick was completely enveloped in a wet warmth. Reeve clawed onto the arms of his seat, biting his lip as the immense pleasure overwhelmed his senses.

He tried to keep his breathing stable, afraid of waking up the others, but it was _so hard_. It felt _so good_. Kai’s tongue twirled around his member, like it knew exactly which movements to make that would pull Reeve over the edge.

His reasoning was thrown out of the window at this point _. He was so stupid, being so hesitant beforehand_! This was _amazing_!

Kai bobbed his head up and down, letting out a soft, quiet giggle, the vibrations causing Reeve to shiver in pleasure. He let out a sigh of disappointment when Kai suddenly pulled away “Do you want me to finish you off or…should I start taking off my pan-”

Kai wasn’t able to finish his sentence, as Reeve, in a fit of frustration, gripped their head and pushed his dick against the mouth, humping against their lips in desperation. “ _Finish what you started jackass_!” He nearly hissed out.

Kai’s smirk grew wide, and playful, before they swallowed Reeve’s dick once more, sucking it fast and eager. Reeve clung onto Kai’s head, covering his mouth and tiny groans and moans escaped his throat.

Reeve’s vision began to whiten, and he came into Kai’s mouth in only a short minute, nearly biting his hand as his hips twitched forwards. Kai seemed hardly surprised, and didn’t flinch as his semen filled their mouth.

After a few moments of silence, Kai pulled his mouth off of Reeve’s limp dick with a pop, which nearly gave Reeve a heart attack. His mind somewhat clear again, he frantically looked around the seating room, only to find everyone still in their spots, sound asleep.

He nearly shivered as Kai swallowed his cum in one gulp, and licked their lips, gathering any excess that dripped down their mouth. “…See? Much better~” They lilted out, placing their hands beside Reeve’s hips and pushing themselves up. kissing him sloppily. Reeve jumped at the sudden action, but melted into the kiss, twirling his tongue around theirs and ignoring the bitter taste of his semen.

Kai pulled up Reeve’s underwear for him, and zipped his pants back up as they continued their small make out session. When Kai finally separated, he removed his knees from the floor, standing up, and stretching his arms. “Not as bad as you thought huh?” He asked with a teasing smirk. Reeve shook his head instantly, and immediately felt embarrassed by his reaction. “…N-no…It was amazing…You have a lot of experience.”

“I mean, considering I’ve fucked you before, of _course_ I’m a master at satisfying your desires.” He whispered proudly, pointing to himself and glaring in confidence at Reeve.

Reeve widened his eyes at this statement, and after a moment of pondering if he should even ask, he decided to just go ahead and ask a question that had been stored in him ever since Kai commented on his dick size. “...Have…” He trailed off, trying to muster the courage to even suggest it. “…Have you and I…? Before I began to…?”

“…Yes.” Kai answered bluntly, his expression blank. “…Sometimes you’d get so angry at me that you’d tackle me to the ground. One thing leads to another and before we knew it, we’d bang…I think for you, it was just to take out your frustration at your situation, being in a strange world with no memories and all that.”

“…What about you? I… _didn’t force you to_ -”

“ _No_ …I was fine with it. I wasn’t one for saying no at that point…” He let out a small giggle as his reminiscing. “You always apologized afterwards. Even when you hated me you cared about how I felt, and that’s when I first discovered the possibility of a heart underneath the man who had killed my friend over and over and over again…not that caring _mattered_ at that point…I didn’t _care_ anymore…” Kai’s emotionless expression gave an air of somberness. “The first time we had sex was shortly after I won the game for the first time. I… _didn’t care about breathing anymore_.”

The silence that followed tore Reeve apart, and he turned his head to the side, staring at Kai with saddened eyes.

“… _Hey_.” Kai muttered out, staring at Reeve intently. “…Can you and I go outside? I wanna tell you more stories…or I suppose the proper term would be _to_ _vent_ , wouldn’t it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is another Kai story time~


	20. Story Time #3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter how much he prayed his prayers were never answered. Any god out there ignored his misery.

On Kai’s 6th loop, he had a basic idea on what was going on.

He was in a time loop.

…At least, that’s what he _thought_? He wasn’t sure. It was a basic guess.

Coincidentally, that loop, where he finally had a somewhat accurate understanding of what was going on, was also the loop where they all finally managed to escape from the woods. Away from those _horrifying_ demon dogs.

And their savior? A weird, purple skinned guy who came as soon as Kai begged for help in frustration, after Adam once again suggested they jump off the cliff.

The strange man snapped his fingers once they shouted the magic word, which was _also_ “help” apparently, and before Kai knew it, he was tied up, in a strange building of adobe walls, next to Adam and Mira.

And he _cried_ tears of joy. Tears that he finally managed to escape that cold, unforgiving forest.

 **His joy wouldn’t last long**.

Minotaurs dragged them through the city he and his friends were trapped in, and tied them to a wall, inside a temple where a strange monster names Toros lived

Adam freed himself from his bindings too late. Toros grabbed Adam’s small body by surprise, and crushed his legs with one, simple squeeze. The cracking of Adam’s bones reverberated in Kai’s ears, and he watched in horror, as Adam was slowly eaten by Toros, limb by limb. They were only allowed peace once Toros went for the head.

Mira’s sobbings and Adam’s frantic pain laden screams sent Kai spiraling into a panic attack. He wasn’t aware enough to listen and watch Mira get eaten next.

The next thing he knew he was picked up by Toros. He had no time to protest, or react before his arm was torn off.

Being torn limb to limb, like he was some kind of chicken, was painful. It was unlike being eaten by those devil dogs, who quickly and ferociously dug into every part of his body without thoughts. This monster _enjoyed_ the suffering of their prey, and always took a moment to admire the tears of anguish that spilled from his eyes before biting off another limb.

Kai was thankful when Toros finally bit his head off.

When he woke up in the bunker again, he simply laid there for a moment, slowly processing the horrible event he had just witnessed, before tears slowly slipped down his cheeks.

In those first _many_ loops, before Kai knew he was in a game. He had small goals that would change the farther he got.

After finally escaping Toros, his goal was to get past the witches. After the witches, it was to hope to _god_ Mira didn’t fuck up and get eaten by the demon dogs, leaving him and Adam to get decapitated by death himself. When they managed to escape the four horsemen, it was to somehow _not_ get killed by the demon monks. ETC.

Some of these goals took only a few loops, like with the witches. It was a weird feeling, having your soul sucked out of your body.

Mira’s solo mission was essentially a lottery, and it wouldn’t be long before he began to groan in annoyance every time he woke up, after a scythe cut off his head once more.

The demon monks took 20 to 30 loops before they all escaped unharmed. He could still remember the horrified and despair filled expressions of Adam and Mira, witnessing his body get impaled by 15 different spears in 15 different places.

The one goal he had that took the longest to accomplish…he’d say around 130 loops? Was escaping the slime alien in the shuttle.

That… _thing_ was _ferocious_. He couldn’t count how many times he had seen that thing carve out him and his friends’ intestines with those long claws of theirs. It seemed to be _everywhere_. It was completely unpredictable.

But Kai _finally_ did it, he _finally_ managed to…at the very least, get him and Mira out of that shuttle alive.

It was a half-accomplished goal, so technically it didn’t count. It’d take a few more tries before he and his friends would use the teleporter and leave that hell-hole unharmed.

But the first time he saw the carnival, he _sobbed_ in relief and grief. relief because he had finally done it. He finally got away from that disgusting creature!

…And grief because not only did Adam not make it, _but Mira lost a leg in the process_.

The wacky carnival brothers Benjamin and Benjamini were quick to give him the supplies he needed to wrap Mira’s leg stub. She was partially out of it, the alien poisoning already slowly shutting down her organs.

“Hurts…b-bad.” She would mutter, tears streaming down her cheeks as the color of her skin slowly deteriorated. “It h-hurts…bad.”

That was the only thing she would say, as Kai sat by her side, inside an abandoned horror ride. Eventually she stopped talking, and could only let out small, pain filled whines, which sounded like fail attempts at screaming.

Kai eventually just… _couldn’t take it anymore_.

And so, swallowing the bile down his throat, he scooched closer to Mira, and gentle cradled her body, laying her head against his shoulder and making comforting shushing noises. “It’s going to be ok.” He whispered, rubbing her back up and down as she sobbed out her misery. “It’s all going to be ok.”

He reassured, hesitantly pulling out a switchblade he had taken from the shack, and pointing it towards her skull.

His arms vibrated, like a phone being called over and over. He felt like he was going to throw up on the spot, the thought of _killing someone_ , even if it was a mercy kill, filled him with guilt and dread.

 _But he couldn’t let Mira suffer like this any longer_.

And so, without a second thought, he plunged the blade into her head, and after a strangled choking noise from the black-haired girl, her whines of pain ceased.

One minute later, Benjamin and Benjamini found a dead, pale skinned girl lying against a wall, and a red-headed boy next to her, throwing up the cinnamon scones and iced tea he had earlier, and sobbing frantically.

That was the first time he had ever killed someone, and it wouldn't be the last.

“…Are you going to say it’s too painful?”

Reeve stared at Kai somberly, their body lying lazily on the back of their spaceship, drawing incoherent shapes along the pieces of metal.

“…You said you want to vent, so keep going. _Vent_.” He answered, sitting comfortably on the grassy ground, leaning his body against the spaceship and waiting for Kai to continue.

When Kai finally…dear god _finally_ was told by Vanessa that it was _all a game_ , his mini goals were combined into _one_ goal

_Win the game_.

He thought to himself back then, if he could just… _win this game, he might actually be able to escape it_!

…It made no sense looking back. If that _were_ the case, then when Vanessa’s team reached the dragon in those previous loops, and possibly won, he would have been out of this nightmare already.

But he was _desperate_. _Desperate_ for it all to _end_.

When he finally, _finally_ , after hundred and _hundreds_ of tries, defeated Colrath with his team. he was already seeing the others as corpses. He had found the secret club under the saloon and overdosed on cocaine multiple times. He had already had his heart broken by Vanessa. He had already lost his virginity to Adam. He had…he had done _so many things_ that _no_ teen should be allowed to do. He drank his misery away. He killed his friends out of pity. And he watched as bit by bit, his innocence and sanity was slowly chipped off.

But the e _uphoria_. The immense _hope_ he had, as he clung onto Adam and Mira’s hands, and jumped into the portal after defeating _that fucking oversized lizard_. It was the _happiest_ he had ever been in his life!

 _He was finally going to be free! Free of all this pain! Free with his new friends_!

 _He could go home! He would remember who he was_!

 _He was so excited to see his family, whoever they were_!

…

…

…

**And then he woke up inside the bunker.**

“I was just trying to make sure you were safe!”

“W-who are you?! Where am I?!”

“I don’t know…I woke up here too…Hey dude! You ok?”

Kai sat lazily on the floor, his head facing the ceiling, staring at it with bulging eyes, his mouth shut firm.

He took a deep, _deep_ breath.

“ ** _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-_** ”

“And that.” Kai ended his story, raising himself up from the back of the ship, and giving Reeve a stern gaze. “Is why you shouldn’t _ever_ hope for an escape from this place.” They explained, their frown switching to a smile. “You’ll just let yourself down.”

“…You…are you…?”

“Ok?” They finished Reeve’s question in a happy go luckily manner, jumping off the spaceship and plopping themselves next to the telekinetic, criss cross apple sauce. “What do _you_ think Reevie?!”

“…That was a stupid question. Sorry.” Considering everything he’s seen the guy do so far, of _course_ they’re not ok.

“Ever since you started remembering the loops though, I’ve been feeling a bit better…”

Reeve lifted his head up at Kai’s comment, and raised his eyebrows in shock. “…I…”

“…Beforehand I just let this world drag my rotting, still breathing corpse with it. I wasn’t really _living_. I was just _existing_ … _but now that you’re here I actually have something to look forward to_. I finally have someone that can understand me somewhat, that I can complain to, that I can exist with.” He raised his head up towards Reeve, and endearing smile on his face. “I know you don’t give 2 shits about me, but _you’re pretty much the only thing I care about now at this point_.”

Reeve blinked at this confession, and focused his attention towards the ground he sat on. “…Thanks.” He muttered quietly, unsure of how to feel about it.

The comfortable silence that follow lasted for quite a while, as the two watched the stars in the sky slowly fly away.

“…Hey.” Reeve couldn’t help but ask out of boredom. “…Theoretically…if we did somehow escape this game…what would be the first thing you’d do?”

Kai blinked at this question for a moment, and as he stared blankly at the shining stars above, he gave his answer.

“… _I’d kill myself_.”

…

“… _Why_?” Reeve reluctantly asked, concern and sadness plastered on his face. The answer completely shocked him.

" _I’m too far gone Reeve_.” Kai explained simply, turning his head and staring at them with dead, soulless eyes.

"…I…” Reeve tried to find some sort of argument that he could use, that would convince Kai not to do what they threatened to do.

In the end, he couldn’t come up with anything. “… _Don’t_.” Was all he silently begged.

Kai let out a hollow laugh, raising his face towards the sky. “…It’s a hypothetical situation anyways. It’ll _never_ happen, so don’t worry!” He reassured with a crooked smile. “ _I’ll always be here_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Proceeds to yeet another bad story time chapter* You're welcome and I'm sorry.


	21. Together Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If they leave him he understands. He knows how messed up he is...But still...don't go.

In the morning, the 6 teens were thoroughly surprised by the talking tree that was nearby their landing spot. Adam, Vanessa, Skeet, and Mira were eager to obtain this “Ishibo” and return home.

Reeve and Kai? Not so much.

They knew it was pointless.

Even so, they faked their excitement.

Getting trapped by Akuma, watching Adam fight Katsudo. Those were things Reeve had never seen before, and so those moments excited him. Kai however, despite their energetic cheering, could not hide the lack of emotion or interest in their eyes.

Watching as the demon monks surround them, charging at them and throwing spears at their now damaged spaceship, it genuinely terrified Reeve. He was _genuinely_ scared…even though he knew he would be ok if he died.

Kai was perfectly fine, he didn’t care at all, and yet he kept up that cowardly act anyways.

Eventually Reeve had to ask the question floating in his mind, as he watched Kai alter the code of the space shuttle. “… _Why don’t you just act more like yourself at the very start?_ ”

The question seemed to confuse the red-head for a moment, who turned their head towards Reeve with a raised eyebrow. “…What do you mean?”

“None of the others even know who you are when you wake up in the bunker…why don’t you just act more like yourself instead of putting up that drastically different façade. It’s not like they can compare how you used to act…considering they don’t even remember you.”

Kai, now with a clear explanation, instantly gave his answer. “ _As much as I’ve accepted the fact that I’ve completely lost it. I still miss being sane_.” He muttered out, resuming his coding. “And sometimes if I pretend I’m my old self enough, I actually start to believe it.”

“… _You’re_ …” Reeve trailed off, unsure if he should even utter the thought. Eventually he decided that Kai probably wouldn’t take it as an insult. “…You’re surprisingly _self-aware_ for…”

“A madman?” Kai finished the statement he could fall through with. “I thought you said you weren’t going to call me that?”

Reeve visibly jumped, and cleared his throat in embarrassment. “I know I did. Sor-”

Kai’s childish giggles interrupted Reeve’s apology, and Kai stared at him endearingly, as if they were looking at a small puppy. “I don’t care about that. I don’t care _what_ you call me.” Their finishing touches finally brought power back to the shuttle they sat in, displaying a monitor room covered in green goo. “Hell, considering what I did for you last night, you can call me _your bitch_ if you want-”

“A-anyways,” Reeve disrupted Kai’s sentence before they could finish, a light blush on their cheeks. “Where are the others? They all split into different directions to search for the crew members, right? I hope that alien you talked about didn’t get them.”

“ _Mmh_ …considering they split up? They probably _did_ die.” Kai deadpanned, pulling up the camera footage on the monitor they sat in front of. Reeve couldn’t make out the details, considering he was far off to the back, looking through the empty shelves in boredom.

Kai only pulled up the footage for 3 seconds, before abruptly closing it all and standing up from his chair. “ **There’s something I need to take care of**.” Kai spoke out with a clear, lowered tone. “ **Don’t leave this room, ok? and _don’t_ look at the camera footage**.”

Kai’s suddenly serious tone was intimidating enough for Reeve to slowly nod in agreement. Kai gave them an eerily normal smile, and then left the room through one of the side doors, almost slamming it shut.

Reeve wandering around the room he was trapped in by obligation for probably around 10 to 20 minutes. Then he couldn’t handle the temptation anymore.

Cautiously tiptoeing towards the computer screen, he searched around for the button that would pull up the camera footage, and hovered the clicker over it.

For half a minute he stood there, his finger inches away from clicking the confirmation button.

His stomach was screaming at him, telling him to listen to Kai, to do what he says. _Kai wouldn’t command him to do anything unless they deemed it necessary_.

_But he didn’t want to be kept in the dark_. Something _must_ have happened to the others, _that’s_ the only reason Kai had been gone for so long.

So he pressed the button.

_What was presented to him made him throw up on the spot_.

_Across the different camera’s he could see the half-eaten corpses of his friends, their limbs and heads spread across the hallways and rooms_.

Adam looked the worst. He was mostly bones, and Reeve almost didn’t recognize him at first.

Mira was the most intact however. Despite a missing arm, she wasn’t dismembered piece to piece…

…It didn’t look like the alien killed her, unlike the others. She had a clear wound on her head, a wound that was too perfectly shaped to be caused from a claw…it looked like a stab wound.

…In front of her was the alien. Its head was completely missing, and it leaked out disgusting green blood onto the floor, staining Mira’s pant legs.

… _Where was Kai?_

The realization was enough to send him over the edge, and he jumped off the seat he took, racing towards the side door to search for _that fucking idiot_ -

The side doors slowly began to open, forcing Reeve to a stop halfway.

If he still had food in his stomach, he would have instantly thrown up once more at the sight before him.

Kai laid lazily along the doorway, covered in green and red blood. _One of their legs and its opposite arm torn off_. _He could see the bone sticking out of their flesh_.

Reeve clasped his hands over his mouth, slowly backing away at the horribly sight, and collapsed onto the ground.

The pale ghost before him stared at Reeve, glanced at the monitor next to him, which showcased the camera footage, and then focused their gaze back to him once more. Their expression was surprisingly calm considering their _missing limbs_. “ _I told you not to look_.” They said clearly, without a hint of pain as their blood spilled out of their mouth.

“ **HOLY SHIT!** ” Reeve finally screeched out. Standing up despite being on the brink of a panic attack. “ **WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE MEDICAL SUPPLIES!?** ”

“It’s fine.” Kai deadpanned, shakily raising their arm and waving the huge problem away. “Even if you patch me up I’ll die in an hour at the most. Alien poison will do that to you in large amounts.” They collapsed onto the floor with a thud, displaying their scar covered back, which bled an unnatural orange color. Struggling to lift their head up, they shakily extending their still intact arm, holding a knife covered in reds and greens. “ _Could you help me out and kill me_?”

“ **NO?!** ” Reeve instantly screamed. Sprinting through the doorway and looking observing his surroundings, noting the many doors that led to who knows where. “ **FUCK YOU! IF YOU WON’T TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE I’LL FIND THEM MYSELF!** ”

“… _Better hurry then_.” Kai responded, letting out an eerie giggle of amusement. “At the rate I’m bleeding? _I’ll probably last only 5 minutes_.”

That was enough for Reeve to start slamming through doors in a haze. Searching around the rooms as fast as he could. **Fuck! GIVE HIM _SOMETHING!_ _ANYTHING!_**

Finally. _Thank god_. He found what he assumed was the doctor’s office. He grabbed the nearest first aid kit, as well as any other shit that looked like medicine. He sprinted back towards Kai, relieved to find him still alive.

He was completely silent as he took off Kai’s clothes and wrapped his wounds up. The red-head didn’t flinch, and instead simply stared at his eyes, observing his expressions in boredom.

It was only when he finished wrapping the final wound that he finally uttered the one thought in his head. “… _You fucking idiot_.” He whispered to himself, clinging onto his pant legs and staining them with blood of various colors. “Why the _fuck_ did you take on that thing by yourself? _Why didn’t you just teleport us out of here?_ ”

“I’m pretty sure you’d be _pissed_ at me if I suddenly shoved you in a tube with me and transported us to _a carnival_ of all places.” Kai answered, shifting his body to the side to lift himself up with his good arm. “And if I told you what was going on, you’d want to save the ones that were left and get yourself eaten. _That_ would have just been pathetic to watch.”

Reeve pinned Kai down to the ground out of fury, tightly clinging onto his shoulders and shaking their almost limp body. “ **YOU THINK THIS IS ANY BETTER?!** ” He screeched out. “ **FORCING ME TO WATCH YOU DIE LIKE THIS?!** ”

“ **No one’s forcing you to do anything.** ”

That statement shut Reeve’s mouth, and he stared at the emotionless, 2 limbed teen before him. “ _You don’t have to watch. You can leave. You don’t even have to interact with me. All you have to do is tell me you want me to leave you alone and I’ll do so._ ” Kai began. “ ** _If you hate me, tell me, if you care about me, tell me._** ”

For a few minutes Reeve continued to hover over Kai, his face hidden from their view. Kai waited patiently for their answer.

“…I…Sometimes I _hate_ that I _care_ about you. _So much_. And it’s not because of my first impression of you…” Reeve trailed off, tears threatening to escape his eyes. “You’re… _awful_ you know? _You’re a horrible person_. You’re emotionless, a _psychopath_ almost. You only care about yourself, and your so _apathetic_ to life that I…can’t fully comprehend it…”

“… _But_ …” He strained out, his fists curling into the ground. “ _I know_ that this isn’t who you really are. This wasn’t what you used to be. I feel _pity_ for you. I feel _sorry_ for you… _and I want to help you_ … _I don’t know how though_. _This isn’t my alley. I don’t_ …” He couldn’t prevent the tears from spilling from his eyes. “ **I-I don’t know why I want to be with you despite how cruel you are.** ”

Reeve buried his face into Kai’s stained shirt, and sobbed his frustrations out. Kai stared blankly at the ceiling.

“… _You can’t help me Reeve_. _Not in the way you think_. _I’ll never be able to go back_.”

The blunt statement stabbed him in the gut, and he let out a saddened whine.

“… _I’m sorry I’m so cruel to you_.”

…

The apology forced Reeve to lift himself up, staring at Kai in confusion.

Kai stared back, displaying a strained smile, his eyes empty and dull. “I’ve forgotten how to truly connect with people…sorry…” Kai trailed off, staring to the side in contemplation. “…But if you want to help me so bad… _you could teach me how to be human again_.”

Reeve’s breathing froze as Kai slowly took his hand, and placed it on their cheek. “You still remember, right? Could you remind me? Could you teach me how to not hurt you anymore?”

Reeve didn’t have to think of his answer, but it still took him a while to nod.

That was the moment he realized why he cared about Kai. _Kai was the only one that could understand this pain they were in_. He had _no one_ to turn to, _except them_ … _Kai was all he really had_.

No matter how pathetic and messed up that reason might be, it was still a reason.

He saw, for the very first time ever, Kai shed a single, genuine tear. He whipped it away with Reeve’s hand. “… _Sorry_ …” He mumbled out. “I…always distance myself from you guys because it’s painful to watch you all forget me over and over again…but _you_ won’t do that so…I don’t know though; it always _hurts_ to feel _. I don’t like it_.”

“Yeah.” Was what he replied with. "Emotions suck but…that's ok…for them to suck. It's ok to feel that pain."

“…I know I said you can leave me at any point but… _please don’t do that_ …I’ve become too used to your presence. I don’t think I’d have the strength to open my eyes anymore if you left me.”

“…I won’t.” Reeve muttered, wrapping his arms around Kai’s body and holding him tightly. “ _Where would I go_? _I only have you_ …”

Kai let out a strained giggle, attempting to hold back their tears. “Haha…we’re two peas in a pod filled with barbed wire.” They clung onto the back of Reeve’s shirt with their good hand. “ _At least we’re miserable together_ …”

And that was when Kai couldn’t take it anymore. They cried. All their anger, all their grief, and all their despair were poured forth. Everything they held in and pretended didn’t exist anymore came crumbling down, and Reeve took it all in, being the only one to support them.

Eventually Kai calmed down, and they began to tug at Reeve’s pants. “…Hey…do you want me?”

Something inside Reeve told him once more not to indulge it what Kai was suggestion. _This wasn’t right_. Still he couldn’t place exactly _why_.

He decided to say no, but for a different reason. “…You…kind of just lost your limbs man.”

“Major turn off?”

“Yeah…”

“Ok.” Kai slurred out. “… _There’s a gun in one of the drawers in this room_.”

Reeve didn’t need Kai to explain his reasoning. “… _Ok_.” He muttered out after a moment of reluctance, pushing himself up and shuffling towards the nearby drawers.

He found what Kai mentioned fairly quickly, and pulled out the pistol. For a while he just stared at it, unsure of what to do…He knew how to pull the trigger obviously, but not to check whether the thing has ammo.

Kai seemed to read his mind. “It has ammo.” They stated bluntly. “I’ll show you how to check next loop…”

Reeve slowly stepped towards Kai, and pointed it at their head, his arm shaking ever so slightly. “… _You sure_?”

Kai nodded as eagerly as he could. “ _Very_ …see you next loop Reeve.”

The two gave each other a soft, strained smile before Reeve turned his head, shut his eyes tight, and pulled the trigger.

A loud bang nearly caused him to fall onto the ground. The noise resounded in his ears, and he let out a shaky sigh. “…Did I miss?” He questioned out loud.

Reeve took the lack of a response for a no.

Slowly, he moved the gun towards his head, and hovered his finger over the trigger. His arm was shaking like a leaf, and his heart was beating at incredible speeds.

He breathed in, breathed out, and finally pulled the trigger.

Shortly afterwards, he opened his eyes, and was met with the familiar bunker ceiling once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More bullshit! enjoy! ^v^


	22. Story Time #4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whatever they want, he'll give it to them.

“There’s someone that wants to meet you.”

“…Who?”

“ _Your butler_.”

Kai lounged on top of the saloon bar, twirling the switchblade he held in his hands. Slowly, he turned his head towards the purple skinned weirdo before him. “… _I have a butler_?”

“Yeah.” Gustaf slowly nodded, sighing a bit from the tense air around him. “You come from a pretty wealthy family. Your parent’s donations are the main thing that keep the building up and running, along with the revenue we earn from The Hollow’s new headquarters in Ontario, for each yearly game.”

Kai didn’t respond, instead, he repeatedly poked the tip of his blade. Never deep to draw blood, but enough to where it would cause pain… _if he could even still feel anymore_.

“…Do you want meet him?” Gustaf finally asked.

“…”

“…”

“…”

Gustaf let out a frustrated sigh. “…I’m…taking that as a n-”

“Sorry, I forgot you were still there. Kai muttered, grabbing a nearby whiskey bottle and downing it in one go. “Go ahead, bring him on if you can. It’d be better than seeing _your_ face.”

“ _Kai_.” Gustaf strained out, massaging his temples. “What’s wrong? You’ve been acting like this for _months_ now-”

“It’s _years_ over here.” Kai shut the game host up, lifting himself up from the bar he laid on. “ _Or did you forget that you fucking Liar_.”

“… _Excuse_ -”

“ **Lie, lie, lie, lie! _That’s all you do_! You give me lies every time you open that stupid mouth of yours!” **Kai shriek out, his glare full of fury that sent shivers down Gustaf’s spine.

“…Admit it.” Kai commanded with now overly calm tone. “I’m _never_ getting out of here… _aren’t I_?”

Gustaf immediately shook his head. “Kai, that’s not true. We-”

“ _Shut up_.” Kai forced Gustaf into silence, gazing at with zero sympathy. “…Just… _fuck off and bring this stupid butler on_.”

Gustaf, with an exhausted sigh, did as he was told, and snapped his fingers, disappearing from Kai’s point of view.

In the next minute, a _different_ man suddenly appeared in front of Kai. He wore a clean, neat tuxedo, and held his arms behind his back, displaying a calm expression on his weary face. Half bald with white hair.

That calm expression was gone the millisecond he comprehended the boy in front of him, and he clutched onto his shirt, staring at Kai with shock, and relief. “…Master Kai?” The butler mustered out.

Kai gazed emotionlessly at the man before him, and resumed playing with the knife in his hands, unawares that he was cutting to deep, and slicing tiny wounds along his hands. “…So, you’re the butler Gustaf talked about?”

The butler’s relieved expression faltered, and they resumed a calm…yet now more somber demeaner. “…Yes. My name is Davis…I’ve been your butler since you were just a babe.”

Kai slowly blinked, his mind racing with questions, questions about his past. Who were his parents? Did Davis know if he knew the people he was stuck with before the game? So many questions.

He was getting excited, and the tiny wounds he cut on his hands grew longer, and deeper.

“…So…First of…do I know any of the kids I’m stuck with…outside the game?”

Davis nodded a yes. “Mira and Adam recruited you into their team, supposedly after their previous team member, Reeve, left for some reason. That’s all you told me.”

Blood slowly trickled down in hands.

“…My parents? What are they like? What do they work in?”

“They own a Hostel business around the world. You mother looks almost just like you, sir. Your father on the other hand is rather big, and burly. A gentleman I assure you though.” Davis’s eyes began to focus on the knife Kai held, which relentlessly cut against Kai’s skin. “…And your parents…aren’t around often, as you complain…Master K-”

“What’s my house look like?”

“You have two, actually. The one in Vancouver is a rather big mansion. Mas-”

“And what about-”

“ **Master Kai your hands!** ”

Kai dropped the knife he held, the blade clanging onto the floor and staining it with blood. Kai lifted himself up by his elbows, and starred at his hands, now shredded with scars, and pouring out blood onto his pant legs.

“ _Master Kai_.” Davis began, a hint of worry in his tone. “Are there any medical supplies in this place-”

The butler’s question was interrupted by Kai’s sudden excessive giggles, and they wiped away the tears that began to drip down their chin, staining their cheek with their blood.

Licking the bloodstains on his cheek, and savoring the taste, he gave “his butler” and eerie smile, his eyes dead hallow. “ _Sorry~_ ” He lilted out without a care in the world. “ _I got a bit too excited~_ ”

Davis stared at the child before him, horror plastered on his face, as if he was staring at a ghost.

“So that’s probably why you hate Adam so much, even though you don’t have a reason to.” Kai finished, sighing contently in the steaming hot spring them and Reeve were by. “I’m not sure what happened, but whatever it was that caused you, Adam, and Mira to break apart, you still subconsciously hold a grudge over it.”

Reeve blinked at Kai’s story, his legs relaxing in the hot water. “…When I asked the rhetorical question of why I was always so angry at Adam, I did _not_ expect you to go off into a tangent about how you met your butler…” Reeve deadpanned, and then shrugged his shoulders. “But at least the story was… _interesting_?”

After Reeve left the bunker _once more_ , and then had a private conversation with Gustaf in the forest. Kai managed to find him before he traveled back to his team members.

They, _of course_ , suddenly clapped their hands over his eyes, to alert him of their return. It scared Reeve to hell, but he was also starting to get used to Kai’s jump scares.

“ _There’s another place I want to show you_!” Kai stated excitedly. Next thing he knew the redhead lead him to this place. A hot spring by a cliff, far from where the other kids were.

“…So what happened afterwards?” Reeve couldn’t help but ask, lifting his legs up from the spring, giving them a short break from the heat. Kai wasn’t at all hesitant in answering that question. “He said he suddenly needed to go, and left the game.” Kai muttered, twirling his finger in the water, and making a tiny water tornado. “ _Guess I’m not his little Kai anymore_ ~ Just proves that even if I _did_ escape this game, my life would be completely ruined by what I’ve become…”

Reeve slowly lowered on leg back into the hot tub, staring at Kai with concern. “…I…” He trailed off, trying to form the proper words for his thoughts. “…Maybe he was horrified…or maybe he just couldn’t stand seeing you suffer…I don’t think you’re beyond saving Kai…I mean, you know this as well.” He raised an eyebrow, challenging Kai with his inquire. “Why else would you ask me to teach you “how to be human again.””

“…I think you misunderstand my main intent here.” Kai muttered, suddenly standing up from the hot spring, his naked body displayed to Reeve, who immediately turned his head away and blushed in embarrassment and… _something more_.

“We’re never going to leave this place. I’ll always believe in that truth…but I don’t like hurting you.” Kai stated simply, wading towards Reeve and placing his hands next to their hips, hovering them and staring at their avoiding gaze. “ _I want to learn to be normal again to make you happy_.”

Reeve narrowed his eyes, suspicion filling his heart; just a bit. “…and why are you so focused on that anyways?”

Kai gazed blankly at Reeve’s eyes, and then gave a cheerful smile. “Because I care about you silly~” He lilted out. “Like you care about me! You’re the only person I have! I want to be better for you!”

…Reeve had a suspicion that Kai wasn’t telling the full truth.

…But he let it slid…he didn’t have the right to judge Kai’s lies, considering he was telling thousands of them right now, just to keep Vanessa’s involvement in this horror under lock and key.

… _And he’d have to continue to do so for possibly more than 2 in game years_.

“The man that made the virus in the contact lenses hung up when we said we have Fredrick.” Gustaf explained in their recent private conversation. “We’re currently appealing to the united states government to let us investigate and find him in Seattle…but that process will probably take around a month by itself…and you know how it works…1 month in real life is 2 years in here…” The Weirdo let out a somber sigh, massaging the bridge of his nose as he leaned against a nearby tree. “…I’m so sorry Reeve. _You’re all going to have to wait a while._ ”

“…Hey, you have a boner right now.”

Reeve jumped, and immediately covered his crotch with his shirt, sweating nervously. “I-It…It happens! You know?”

“I saw you harden the millisecond I stood up.” Kai stated emotionlessly. “This wasn’t something that “just happened.””

Reeve’s blush grew darker, and he let out a long sigh. “I-I just…You’re sexy, ok?! I find your body attractive!” He mustered out. “I can’t help it! If you keep showing yourself off like that of course I’m going to get… _ideas_.”

“… _Cool_.” Kai muttered bluntly. “So stop being so weird about it and turn those ideas into reality.”

Reeve’s heart began to race at the route this conversation was going in. “…I’m not being weird about it! If anything, _you are_! You’re just so… _casual_ and forward about this…I don’t know how to feel about it…” Reeve surfed his hand through his hair, staring into Kai’s calm and collected eyes.

“To be honest, I think I…overwhelmed you a bit inside the ship. I’m sorry about that. Got frustrated at how indecisive you were… _You can do whatever you want with me you know_. If you like it that way instead.” Kai reassured them, inching closer towards there face. “…If you say yes, I’ll be completely under your control. You can bend me in any way; _I won’t complain_.” Kai pushed away from Reeve, and waded towards the center of the hot spring, letting out a content sigh as his body completely submerged itself back into the steaming spring. “It’ll be entirely up to you. I won’t force you to do anything you really don’t want to do, so you don’t have to worry. You just have to speak up about it.”

Reeve’s eyebrows furrowed in worry at this reassurance Kai gave him. Their casual words about being bend over and used made him… _concerned_ , and _uncomfortable_. It was weird, because it sounded sexy, but the way Kai _said_ it, not to mention what he had said before, about wanting to make him happy…it gave him the same feeling he felt whenever Kai proposed sex to him. “…What about _you_ then?” Reeve couldn’t help but suggest the thing burning in his mind from Kai’s comments. “You’re ok with that? Actually…do you…even want to have sex with me? _Legitimately_? You just seem to…have a _vastly_ different approach with Adam and Skeet than me. Not to mention you’re…a power-bottom with Adam based on what I’ve seen.”

“Adam and Skeet don’t remember the loops, so of course how I proposition them is different. I also know how each of them like it. Adam likes confidence and fighting for dominance, so I provide that… _You_ like having control though.” Kai turned his head towards Reeve, giving them a sultry smirk. “ _And I know this from experience_. You like to over-power people; _you like to be right_ …at least…that’s how you _usually_ are…”

Kai dove underwater for a bit, his eyes shut tight as he was completely submerged in the spring. He shot up again, shaking his dripping hair. “Maybe remembering the loops changed you…stripped you of your pride a bit…and that’s what I like about you…you _change_.” Kai let out a soft giggle, and twirled his short hair around his fingers. “ _Sex with you would be much more interesting than with the others_. I feel kind of stupid, only realizing this during our talk outside the ship, after I gave you that blowjob… _along with other things_.” They mumbled that last part by themselves. Reeve wasn’t sure what it meant, and he desperately wished he did.

Reeve clung onto his pant legs, staring intently at the water his legs were submerged in. “…So…” He began to slowly breath in and out, as his body once more warned him to not indulge, _this doesn’t feel right_ …and with Kai’s comments, he had a _tiny_ idea on why. “There’s no…consequences to us…y’know? Like, we’ll remain as we are relationship wise.”

“Yep.” Kai nodded his head. “Just with the added benefit of getting it on.”

“…And you’re sure _you_ want it.” Reeve asked again. “I know _I_ do; I just…like, _you aren’t just doing this because you think it’ll keep me around right_?” Reeve accused, giving Kai a small frown. “That’s just an example off the top of my head really. I’d just hate it if you were-”

“Of _course_ I want it?!” Kai interrupted Reeve’s inquiry, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “I wouldn’t ask otherwise…”

“…Ok then.” Reeve slowly regained his composure. His gut calming down at the reassurance. “…Do you…want to maybe…do some stuff _right now_?” Reeve suggested, staring off to the side in embarrassment. “…I could…use some _distractions_ …”

Kai’s mouth slowly formed into a wide, teasing smirk, and he swam up to Reeve, scooching up to sit on his lap, and wrapping their arms around his neck.

“ _What do you want me to do_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop whoop another painful chapter enjoy and scream in horror folks-


	23. Excuses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conscience? He's hardly heard of that since he killed Fredrick...

The tight feeling of Kai's insides. The pace he pounded into them that increased with each seconds. The moans Kai emitted, as he wrapped his legs tighter around Reeve's waist and pleaded for more.

Reeve couldn't stop thinking about any of those things a he struggled to put his shirt back on.

He had never felt so good in his entire life...as far as he could remember that is.

Kai was quick to recover, and was busy bathing themselves of the sweat they produced from such a tiring action. Reeve was almost impressed. He was exhausted, and it took every ounce of his strength to even move his arms. It just further showed that this wasn't Kai's first "radio show." And he...still didn't know how to feel about it.

But as his first time replayed over and over again, a question began to slowly form, until he eventually couldn't not ask. "...Hey." He began with a soft tone, catching the attention of a still energetic Kai, who emerged from the hot spring and grabbed their underwear, which rested by the rest of his clothes, on a nearby boulder. "Yeah?" They asked with vigor, quickly sliding their underwear on and reaching for their pants.

"...Did I suck?"

"...Why're you asking?" Kai eventually replied, after an awkward moment of silent staring. Reeve gave his answer as Kai slid one of their legs into their pants. "...I don't know...It's just..." He trailed off, finally mustering the will to fully push an arm through one of his shirt sleeves. "...Your moans sounded kind of fake." Not that he was an _expert_ but...considering the fact that he was a virgin a few minutes ago, Kai seemed to have felt _too_ good throughout the act.

"...Meh..." Kai responded bluntly, easily slipping into his two toned shirt.

Reeve slowly blinked at this response. "... _Meh_?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, slowly standing up from the ground. "..Is...that a _good_ thing?"

"One a scale of _"Sex that gods would sing about"_ to _"Hot garbage,"_ _"Meh"_ is exactly in the middle. Not _bad_ , but not _amazing_ either." Kai explained, stretching his arms out and and letting out a calm sigh. "You were too nervous the entire time. It was almost cute."

"...Why did you pretend to enjoy it so much then?"

"... _Habit_ I guess. It's kind of sad to see someone's pride shatter after you tell them the sex kind of sucked." He cracked his knuckles, and turned to Reeve. "So anyways, _let's ditch everyone_."

The sudden suggestion caught Reeve off guard. He was wondering what they were going to do now, but he wasn't expecting that answer. "...Why though? Don't they need us?"

"They'll be _fiiiiine_... _next loop anyways_."

Reeve's gaze turned into a gentle glare as the last bit of Kai's halfhearted reassurance left their mouth. "Sure. Because we remember the loops, we don't have to worry about losing them, but they all believe that this digital piece of shit for a game is real." He ignored the image of Vanessa's face appearing in his mind as he said that statement. "Every death they experience, even if they don't remember it, is very real to them in the moment...and don't you...want to protect them from that?" His challenge seemed to strike a chord in Kai, who subtly raised an eyebrow in response. "...I mean...Adam and Mira. They're your teammates, right? They've been with you through thick and thin. Don't you care about them?"

Kai slowly blinked at their companion, and then stared into the endless forest surrounding them. "...Honestly? It's hard to answer that question..." He quietly admitted. "...There was a time, early on, before I even knew this was all a game...where I cared for my _"friends'"_ well-beings. I cried seeing them get hurt, and die...but..." He trailed off for a moment, and then raised his head to stare at the stars. "But when you see someone die the same time, over and over again, you just sort of...get used to it. Not only that but...when you realize it's all a game...what's the point in saving anyone anymore? They aren't dead in real life, and they'll forget the pain anyways. Add that to the constant memory loss they experience each loop that disheartens you and...you just kind of...became a _bit_ disconnected with them."

A small silence filled the clearing, which ceased into existence as Kai let out a bored sigh. "Why should I bother to treat Adam with a lick of respect when 40% of the time he makes bad, impulsive decisions that get one or two others killed. Not only that but his stubbornness _almost_ made me _legitimately_ kill him once. Why should I bother to be close with Mira when next loop she'll treat me like a stranger again? I don't want to have to go through all that trouble again and again just to have someone for emotional support that couldn't begin to understand half of what I've gone through. Don't get me wrong, I suppose I care for them somewhat. I've had to deal with them for so long. It's hard to remove the type of connection you gain from that. But why should I bother to _help_ them? It's _exhausting_ , _boring_ , _annoying_ , _painful_ , and getting tanked on cocaine makes me feel _much_ better then _any_ of their empty promises combined, thank you."

"Are you _hearing_ yourself right now?" Reeve questioned with concern, stomping up to Kai, and tightly gripping his shoulder. "You're treating them...almost like _animals_. Pets that are _below_ you."

"...Not a far off reasoning. Considering their memory resets every _damn_ loop they're almost no different than NPCs...NPCs I feel somewhat sorry for."

"... _You know that's fucked up right_?"

A harsh silence filled the space between them, which Reeve interpreted as a reluctant yes.

"...Saving them _despite_ all I've said is what it means to be _"human"_ though, isn't it...Is _that_ your main point?"

Reeve slowly nodded a yes to Kai's question, and the red-head sighed in response. "... _Alright_ then...let's go find them...I'm willing to try to play guardian angel again...maybe it'll be more bearable with you." They pinched the bridge of their nose and shut their eyes tight. "...I was eager to change before but this goes against everything I've become... _gooooood_..."

"...It's fine..." Reeve reassured, gazing somberly at them. "...It's hard to unlearn...things?"

"... _Smooth_." Kai muttered, suddenly pulling out a switchblade he had in his pockets. "A devil dog is hiding in the bushes by the way."

His eyes widened in confusion. "... _Wh-_ "

The next moments Reeve witnessed in slow motion. A large, spiky dog erupted from a nearby bush, snarling and jumping towards his body with barred fangs.

Suddenly, in a flash, the devil dog's throat was impaled by the switchblade that Kai threw. The dog landed on the floor in front of Reeve, whimpering and yelping as they wiggled on the floor helplessly, their wound pouring blood into the ground."

Kai gazed at the dog's blood covered teeth, and let out a sigh, slowly stepping towards the dog and stepping on it's head, earning a harsh whimper. "It ate one of the others." He muttered, smearing his finger along the bloody teeth, and licking his finger of the fluids he collected. Much to Reeve disgust, who almost threw up on the spot.

"...Well, _Vanessa's_ dead." Kai deadpanned, earning a nearly silent scream from Reeve. "...H-how do you know it was Vanessa?!" He mustered out, nearly on the brink of panic. Kai was quick to answer. "Her blood just tastes a certain way. _Everyone's blood does_."

The answer set off a few alarms and brought to mind several questions, both of which Reeve didn't want. "...But I mean...Are you _sure_ -"

"Look at it's belly" Kai commanded, ripping the blade out of the defenseless dog's throat and pointing at the abnormally large stomach. "Ate something huge. Definitely a person...The rest of the pack is most likely nearby. These guys normally don't stray far from each other..."

"...Then we need to get out of here and find the others." Reeve reasoned. He went into a fighting stance and raised his hand, preparing to use his powers at any moment. "We know where the electricity switch is. Adam can kick the gate down and we can call Weirdo for help before these things get u-"

" _I_ have a better idea." Kai interrupted Reeve's planning, and slowly stepped towards the whimpering dog's lower body. He raised his foot high in the air, and after giving Reeve a small smirk, stomped down hard on the dog's tail, causing the demon mutt to screech and howl in pain. Reeve flinched at the action, and almost felt sorry for the poor man eating dog.

Only a few moments later, faint barking noises were heard in the distance, which grew louder and louder with each second.

"... **Kai what the fu-** "

"Just back up a bit, I got this." Kai rolled his head a bit, and let out an amused laugh. "I'm not going to play around this time like with the alien earlier. I have _you_ to protect after all~"

Reeve took Kai's word for it, and backed up, clinging onto a nearby boulder.

Kai walked back towards the injured dog's front body, glaring at the creature as it whimpered and howled for breath. Kai simply sighed and stomped on the dog's head. " _Shut up_." They muttered, before turning their attention to the seemingly endless forest in front of them.

Based on the silence that followed from that mutt, it was either killed or knocked out from the head-stomp.

The demon dogs' barks grew louder and louder, until eventually they broke through the bushes, growling and preparing to strike the red-head before them.

The first one, who was also abnormally full and covered in blood, was stabbed by the dagger that Kai threw at their head. The mutt collapsed onto the ground in an instant, dead and lifeless.

The third one, who looked much more clean and thin than the others, was instantly set ablaze from head to toe. Reeve had to cover his ears from the horrid, shrieking noise that followed as the devil dog was slowly incinerated alive.

By the time the shrieking stopped, and Reeve uncovered his ears, the dog was nothing more than a crisp, black body that threatened to crumble into ashes.

... _Holy shit_.

"There!" Kai exclaimed, skipping towards the second dog and yanking their switchblade out of its head. " _Now_ we don't have to worry about anything!" They trailed their fingers along the dog's teeth, licking the blood off of their fingers. "...And Adam's dead too."

"...K-Kai..." Reeve hesitantly began, clinging onto the boulder for dear life. "...I know these dogs like to eat us but...d-don't you think literally _burning one of them alive_ is still kind of...messed up?" "Kind of" was an understatement, but he did _not_ want to piss the red-head off at the moment.

Kai blinked at Reeve comment, before his smile widens to unnatural lengths. "You wanna know what it's like to get eaten alive?"

"... _No_?"

"Then don't worry about what I do to them Reeve...I mean, unlike the other kids, these things are just NPCs! Nothing more than lines of code! Do you give shit to someone that murders in GTA?"

" **Murdering is the entire point of GTA!** " Reeve reasoned, unable to take his eyes off of the burnt corpse. "We have _a choice_ here Kai! Self-defense is understandable but _duuuuude_..."

"Still lines of code though."

" _I don't give a shit_! I'm in a VR game not a screen game! This shit feels _real_ and I'm not going to kick defenseless dogs in the head just because I can!"

"...Then _don't_..." Kai stated bluntly, raising an eyebrow.

Reeve let out a sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You know what? Look...do what you want...But like...if you're going to do shit like this then _don't_ do it in front of _me_... _please_." Reeve almost begged. "I could have gone my _entire_ life without seeing this."

Kai sighed, and shoved his switchblade in his pocket. "Me too with literally everything in this damn game. But _I_ didn't really have a choice..." Kai gazed intently at Reeve, with a resolution that intrigued Reeve somewhat. "...But I'll make sure _you_ don't have to experience anything you can't handle~"

Reeve didn't know how to respond to that reassurance, it took a few moments for him to just nod and quietly sigh out a thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been toooooo long.
> 
> I have to use WordPad RN, which sucks because I can't tell how many pages long each chapter is. Because of this I'm not gonna update as often until like...I get my original program back XD Which will be in around a month? I think? Sorry for the inconvenience. (and this bad chapter-)
> 
> This chapter goes from an awkward afterglow to the aftermath of an animal massacre-


	24. Time's Arrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faltering for others, but for him and Reeve, it is ever flying, although it is silent.

Reeve and Kai found Mira and Skeet together inside the shack in the forest, Mira's leg was horribly injured, and was being tended by the almost panicky Skeet. Needless to say both of them were relieved to see their teammates again.

"...A-Adam...h-he..." Mira wasn't able to finished her sentence to Kai, and slammed her hand over her mouth, tears pouring down her cheeks. Skeet himself was finished wrapping Mira's leg wound, and focused his attention on Reeve. "Vanessa flew off as soon as she saw this guy we met named Adam get eaten alive by some red dog...This is Mira, one of the people he woke up with...you seen Vanessa?"

"...She's dead." Reeve stated sadly, glancing at the somber looking Kai, who's acting was amazing, as usual. "...Buried her body." That was a lie of course, but telling the others Kai could tell who someone was from their blood alone was...

"...Holy shit...no!" Skeet muttered, letting out a shaky sigh and avoiding the other's gaze. Mira somewhat ganged composure again, and stared at Kai once more. "...Where were you Kai?! You just disappeared out of thin air!" She hissed out, anger and grief overcoming her.

"...I-I...got distracted, thought I saw something in the distance and followed it...next thing I knew I was lost." bright tears brimmed from Kai's eyes, and his lips wiggled as he tried and failed to keep a smile on his face. Slowly, he walked towards Mira and sat down next to her. "...A-Adam...h-he can't be dead! Right Mira? He had the strength of a god! If he can't survive what does that mean f-for..."

Kai then tightly embraced Mira, sobbing out his "grief" and "despair." Mira soon followed suit, and returned the hug. It was only after the whimpering toned down, and Kai's face was at an angle where neither Mira and Skeet could see it, that his eyes instantly ceased pouring out tears, and his wobbly mouth steadied into a bored frown. "Wimps." He mouthed out, glancing at Mira and Skeet's direction for a few moments before resuming his facade and separating from Mira. "W-what do we do?"

"...I...I don't know." Mira answered, staring defeated at the ground. Skeet let out a tired sigh, and massaged his temples, trying to process the horrifying situation they were in.

"...We keep going."

Mira, Kai, and Skeet looked up at the resolute Reeve, who's fists tightened with unsurety. "That's all we can do right now. Adam and Vanessa can't die in vain, we need to keep going and find a why home, no matter the difficulties"

After a tense, somber moment, Mira, Skeet, and Kai all nodded their heads. Reeve was right. What else could they do? Sit around like prey, waiting to be devoured by those dogs? That's what Skeet and Mira concluded. As for Kai...Kai didn't really care either way. Wherever Reeve went, he would follow.

Reeve actually had high hopes that this run would work out without any more casualties. He had already seen most of the locations in this game, and what dangers were inside them. If they all worked together and him and Kai used their knowledge to keep the others safe, they should all be ok!

...Lying in the middle of a long hallway of sand bricks, his limbs torn from his body, as he heard the sounds of a giant Minotaur being stabbed over, and over, and over again. Reeve was reminded of how unpredictable the game could be at times.

He honestly had never seen Kai as angry as he saw them a few seconds ago, when they caught him getting slowly devoured by Toros. The look that formed on their face screamed murder, and in under 5 seconds Kai had ripped Reeve out of the monsters grasp and got busy tearing the very life out of the monster.

Reeve's vision was already blurring from the blood-loss and pain by the time Kai finished his job and crawled next to Reeve, gently brushing his lose bangs away from his face. "...Does it hurt?"

Reeve could only nod. Of course it hurt! He was in agony! His limbs had been dismembered from his body and every breath expanded his broken rib-cage! It was torture! He was once more on the brink of tears, his life slowly and painfully fading away in front of the same exact red-head.

"...I'm sorry." Kai muttered softy, gently nuzzling his face as he prepared his switchblade, ready to put him out of his misery. "... _I won't let this happen again_."

Once more Reeve's head felt a sharp, yet brief pain, and before he knew it, he was waking up in the bunker again.

  
In the next loop, He didn't see Kai until his team reached the ghost town, just like the first loops before. In the saloon that might as well be called their home base, Kai demanded that Reeve let things play out the way it did in his first loop, at least up until the confrontation at the ice castle.  
"When Vanessa orders you to hit Adam with the Ishibo, don't do it."

"...Oh yeah...you wanted me to do that before didn't you." Reeve commented, swirling a cup of beer that he once again left full. "But we never got around to doing it because of that ice monster..."

"Yeah, so let's do it in this one!" Kai almost shouted excitedly. "I want to see what happens! It'll be so fun to experience something new!"  
...He was that bored, huh?

Things went surprisingly smoothly up until the moment Vanessa silently signaled for him to use the Ishibo on Adam. When Reeve instead slammed the Ishibo between himself and his teammates, that's when things got messy. Vanessa was pissed, so pissed that she attempted to grab the Ishibo straight from his hands. However, she ended up burning her hands instead.

He couldn't help but gaze at Vanessa with pity for a brief moment. He knew that if she knew the truth, she wouldn't be doing all of this.

"They were gonna make me attack you guys!" He blurted out to Adam and Mira, somehow managing to avoid Skeet's attacks, who decided to defend Vanessa. "Help me out here!"

And helped him out the other team did. It was a two vs four team battle, no competition. Him and Kai's team won in the end, leaving Vanessa knocked out and Skeet hightailing it out of there.

...Unfortunately for himself and the others, their fighting destroyed much of the castles foundations, and the entire structure was collapsing, threatening to trap and crush those inside if they didn't move quickly.

Him and Kai, who carried an unconscious Vanessa, managed to make it out of the structure just in time...Adam and Mira? Not so much...Their bodies disappeared, buried under the collection of ice that shown from the sun.

For a while, Reeve and Kai just stood there, marveling at the destruction they caused. For Reeve that marvel quickly turned into regret and horror. Mira and Adam...they died because of him.

But, all of a sudden, Kai dropped the unconscious Vanessa he was carrying on his back, and just started laughing.  
Reeve stared at the hysterical Red-head next to him with...a mixture of disappointment and horror. Not surprise. This was a very Kai thing that Kai was doing. He's learned that much about them at least.

"H-holy shit! D-did you s-see all t-that!" Kai barely mustered out, clutching his stomach as he tried to calm himself down. "That fight was amazing! And the whole collapsing castle thing!" They seemed to be almost drooling at the different possibilities this route could lead to. "...Hey! We _have_ to do this again! If we manage to save the others, who knows what will happen next!"

Adam and Mira just died, and you're laughing in glee?!

...Is what he would have said...but...he chose to stay silent once the tears escaped Kai's eyes, and his laughter almost sounded like frantic sobbing...almost. Reeve couldn't really tell if Kai was laughing or crying at that point. Kai himself probably couldn't even tell.

Reeve could only let out a soft, saddened sigh in response.

  
Two months worth of loops later, Reeve was standing by the doorway of the cottage in the ghost town, gazing at Kai's emotionless expression as they lounged on one of the chairs, hoping for a response to his statement.

"...You're going to tell Adam?" They finally muttered, too busy reading a book they've probably read in its entirety a thousand different times to look up. He nodded in affirmation, although he did say yes verbally when he realized Kai couldn't see that.

"...Bored huh?"

"...Yeah...and...I don't know...I need a fresh perspective on all this..." Reeve explained. "...It's been months...I feel like I'm...losing myself a bit."  
With each loop, it felt like his grasp on the reality he generally knew was slowly being torn apart. He can feel himself becoming more hardened to bloodshed and tragedy, and he didn't...he didn't like that.

"...If you want to, go knock yourself out and rain on their parade for once...although if I were you, I wouldn't tell Adam."

Kai's warning puzzled Reeve, and he raised his eyebrow in confusion. "...Why not?"

"Adam may look like the tough and collected leader of every straight girl's wet dreams...but he's...the most fragile of the bunch..."

"...Fragile?"

"If you tell him about the loops, and he actually believes you, there's like...a 60% chance he'll kill himself."

Months ago Kai probably would have just muttered a "you'll see." Under his breath and shut down the conversation. Reeve was glad that Kai was more blunt and honest with him these days.

Kai's warning isn't going to keep him from doing what he feels he needs to do, however. "...I'll stop him if he tries." He stated with confidence.  
Kai only smirked, a low chuckle emitting from his throat. "Sure you will." Kai lilted out with sarcasm. "You don't know him like I do Reeve. He's very good at hiding his pain when he wants to."

"I constantly hang around the enigma that is yourself, If I can read you like a book, then I can tell if Adam's suicidal."  
"Can you really?"

The question caught Reeve off guard. The red-head didn't say it with mocking intent, it sounded like a genuine question he wanted the answer too.

"...Wish you luck Reevie~ I'll be here to comfort you when you fail." Kai's stability and kindness had improved in the past few months, but he could still be an asshole at times, that's for sure.

Reeve had gotten used to it though, he calls the guy out when he goes to far, but he knows it's still difficult for them to express their emotions in a healthy way, not to mention they're just bitter in general.

So here he was, standing next to Adam as the two of them leaned against the graveyard fence.  
Adam obviously didn't believe him at first, but after he told Adam that Kai remembered them as well, they looked....devastated.

"...S...so we...we've been stuck here for _how long_?" They eventually asked, staring up at the sky with a forlorn expression. Reeve was quick to answer.

"...In game? 50 years. That's around 2 years in real life."

"... _2 years_...of our lives..." Adam began mumbling, rubbing their hand against their forehead. "...Just... _down the drain_?"

"... _Yep_..." Reeve didn't know how old he was. In game he guessed he was around 15 to 16 years old based on his appearance, so if the game registers only his body when he first started playing, that means in the real world he'd have to be around 17 to 18 now. Same applied for Kai. The dude mentioned once he was supposedly 14 when the game started, so they're 16 now, in real life anyways.

"...There's no point then!" Adam concluded, staring at the ground for a moment, before shifting his gaze towards Reeve, his eyes filled with despair. "In trying, I mean!"

"...You better not do what I think you're going to do." Reeve warned bluntly, gripping Adam's wrist tightly with a glare. "Killing yourself is a coward's move in your current position. It's OK for me and Kai to do it because we don't really die. You however are your own Adam. You aren't the Adam in the last loop and you won't be the Adam in the next loop. This brief amount of time is all you're going to get."

"So?!" Adam questioned, glaring defensively at the telekinetic before them. "Doesn't that just make me less special?! Who cares, y'know? If I live or die...The next Adam will take my place."

"...You make a good point but...don't do it anyways." Reeve almost pleaded, catching Adam off guard. "I told you about this for a reason. I'm...loosing my grip on reality Adam. I just need someone other than Kai to talk to for a bit."

"...What's wrong with Kai?"

Reeve expected that question but...he didn't have a witty answer prepared...so he just said what was on his mind.

"...He's...not the coward he portrays himself to be anymore. He's gotten better over the past few months thanks to my influence but...He can still be cruel, he can still be heartless, and he can still be...terrifying." Reeve sighed, and lifted his head towards the sky, eyeing the fake stars that scattered across it. "I'd hang with Gustaf as well but...he's an adult...can't really..."

"Yeah...that's just weird."

"Yeah...I'd understand why Kai supposedly clung onto him at first but...just yeah..."

"..."

"..."

"...Why did you tell me of all people? Why not the others?"

Reeve's grip on Adam's wrist loosened.

"...Kai told me a while ago that we were friends outside of the game...at least...we used to be..."

"...Oh..."

"...And I...I don't remember what exactly happened between us that caused me to bear so much animosity towards you, even though I don't have my memories...but...even if you won't remember this...I want to say I don't really care about it anymore. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, considering I don't even remember what happened but... _there's no point in holding petty grudges when something like this is_..."

Adam, after a brief moment of silence, gave Reeve a somber smile. "...So that's why you always annoy me for no reason..." Adam muttered. "...Yeah...same..."

"...You should probably go back to the others. They'll get suspicious if we talk for to long." Reeve warned, playfully punching Adam in the shoulder. "Don't tell anyone else about this, OK?"

"Don't worry." Adam reassured, a strange, determined expression on his face that Reeve didn't recognize at the time. " _I won't_."

  
Only an hour later, Reeve felt a part of him break inside when he opened the door to one of the saloon rooms and beheld Adam hanging from the ceiling.

Their eyes were bloodshot and lifeless, and drool dripped from their mouth as their body swayed back and forth.  
On top of the nearby dresser, was an incredibly short letter filled with scribbled, hasty writing.

_Sorry, I can't be the Adam that helps you. I just can't do this. I'm sorry just please try the next me. -Adam_

Reeve, for a good while, just stood in place, staring at the words on the letter. His eyes were wide, and burning. He wanted to cry but he just couldn't. He just couldn't. He just-

"...I told you..."

The small, halfhearted chide from an all to familiar voice broke Reeve out of his hazy trance, and he turned his head towards the doorway, beholding none other than Kai, who gazed at him blankly, although he could detect a bit of pity in those eyes.

They widened their arms, and that was all it took for Reeve to tackle the redhead and hold him, squeeze him, and take him right there. Kai's body had become his comfort. The warmth and the pleasure from sex made him forget about everything, if just for a few moments. Perhaps that's why Kai was constantly sleeping around as well?

He knew it was unfulfilling, what him and Kai have been doing, but so was everything else in this digital world they were in.

In the afterglow, he finally could cry his eyes out, and just as Kai always did, they petted his head and nuzzled his face in an attempt to ease him.  
Reeve attempted to tell Adam about the loops and keep them from offing themselves a few more times, until he gave up after he found them with their wrists slit in the bathroom for the 3rd time, not counting the 4 other times he saw the aftermath of their suicides.

  
On his "first birthday." Kai accidentally killed himself.

The dude and him were chilling in the saloon, as usual, and Kai was gathering a bunch of ingredients to bake a cake. Kai had become efficient at a lot of things, considering how much time he's had on his hands. Cooking, sewing, cleaning, knife throwing. One of these things is not like the others come to think of it.

Reeve had tried something Kai had cooked before, and he praised whatever god was out their for the food that graced his mouth. Kai's cooking skills were that good.

The birthday cake's baking process was interrupted when somehow, Kai flipped the knife he prepared while bending down to get something from a cupboard. When he stood up again, the knife flew into his head.

Reeve was busy doodling in a sketchbook he found, a hobby he picked up rather recently. The doodling instantly ceased when he heard an all too familiar flesh stabbing noise. Looking up, he gawked as he witnessed a perfectly calm and...almost puzzled Kai, a knife deeply impaled in the side of his head.

"...Hey...did something hit me?" The Red-head slurred out, the wound already affecting their speech.

Reeve slowly raised his hand towards his own head, and motioned towards where he saw the knife handle sticking out. Kai lazily raised and eyebrow, and gripped the handle, ripping the knife out in one swift motion. Reeve winced at the blood that splattered and poured on the floor.

"...Oh... _Oops_..." Kai mumbled out, a sheepish smile on his face as he stared at the blood covered knife. In the next second, Kai had collapsed on the floor, dead and lifeless. The loop afterwords Kai apologized more than five times, and Reeve was given a 3 tiered cake instead of a simple one layer cake to compensate, much to his stomach's dismay.

If it weren't for the whole _Kai dying_ thing, this would actually be sort of a funny story.

  
" _Happy second birthday_ ~"

Reeve blinked in response to Kai's celebratory compliment, finishing his rough sketch of the ice giant he had encountered 15,000 times before. "...Huh..." He muttered, scratching his shoulders as the wind from the open window blew against his body. It didn't bother him that much, the temperature change. "...Been that long?"

It was less in shock and more in disbelief. Normally someone would comment at how the years seemed to go by too fast. For Reeve, each day wouldn't go by fast enough. He was relieved, and yet horrified that it had been 2 years because well...Gustaf and the rest of the Hollow team might finally be getting their shit together in Seattle and catching Fredrick's partner in crime, but Reeve himself had witnessed death after death, sin after sin, and tragedy after tragedy, for two whole in game years.

Reeve could hardly recognize himself anymore. He would look in the mirror and notice how dull his eyes were now. He could notice the bags in his eyes. He could do something, and, rarely, he would question if 2 years ago he would have done such a thing.

The latest he had experienced that personality whiplash was a few loops ago, when instead of being completely sympathetic to Mira's despair over Skeet and Adam's demise at the teeth of a few zombies, he felt almost... _annoyed_. He was more cold in his attempt at comforting her, and deep down he couldn't help but think bitterly, at how she knew nothing about true pain, not the pain he and Kai have felt.

A few minutes later he was horrified with himself, yet he couldn't stop feeling those feelings.

"Yep~ You sure have changed!" Kai stated, summarizing his thoughts in one sentence. "You've become more hardened...I can't tell if I like it or not..."  
Kai's comment caught Reeve off guard, and he looked up from his drawing. "...What do you mean?"

"I mean...you're a bit less annoying now but I also liked you when you were so innocent! It was adorable!"

Reeve rolled his eyes, turning to a new page and brainstorming for more drawing ideas. "...I'm not adorable." He countered with a tiny smirk.

"To me you are~" Kai lilted out, lifting himself up on the bed they lounged on and crawling towards Reeve, letting the blanket he wrapped himself in fall off him and display his body to the telekinetic. " _I have a present for you you know~_ " He whispered, wrapping his arms around Reeve's neck.

"Not in the mood right now, sorry." Reeve replied bluntly. Kai pouted, but none the less crawled away, wrapped himself in a blanket burrito, and rolled all the way to the pillows on the bed. "Alright. _Fine_." They whined out, their face buried into the bed sheets.

Reeve couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. Him and Kai have been joking around a lot more lately, and he could, for once, feel some sort of normal friendly bond with the pyrokinetic. What can he say? Kai's playfulness had grown on him a bit.

The brief, comfortable silence that hung between the two companions was crushed by Kai. "...Hey, I have a question for you...has been two years after all."

"...Yeah? Go ahead." Reeve's curiosity peaked as he began to draw Vanessa's face out of boredom.

**"When are you going to tell me about that whole Vanessa thing you've been hiding from me?"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :')
> 
> weeks and weeks and I give y'all this shit-


	25. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many can keep one if all but one is dead.

_Reeve hadn't felt as much panic as he did in those brief moments in a long time_.

The world seemed to screech to a halt, and the tip of the pencil he was drawing with broke in half, the snapping noise reverberating in his ears.  
Shit.

Reeve was almost in awe at how, with just once sentence, everything he knew about Kai had been shattered into dust. The little bastard _knew_ all this time that Reeve was keeping some sort of secret, and they didn't even bother him about until _now_ of all times. _Two fucking years later_. What the fuck? _What the actually fuck?!_

Calm down, calm down...Kai's staring at him right now, waiting for an answer. First things first, He needs to know how much they know.

"...W...what are you-"

"Don't play dumb _silly_!" Kai whined out, puffing his cheeks childishly. "I've heard _a lot_ of the private convos you've had with Gustaf. Not enough to know what this _oh so secret_ secret is but enough to know Vanessa's involved with it."

Ok so Kai knows that Vanessa is part of the secret but nothing else. She's mostly safe for now. Next question he needs answers to desperately. "...Why are...you asking me about this _now_?" He raised an eyebrow at the red-head in disbelief. "Normally your curiosity is relentless. Why didn't you ask me right off the bat about it?"

"...Well..." Kai's expression faded to a blank, thoughtful one, and they stared at the ground with unfocused eyes. "...I mean. I have some secrets _too_ y'know, so I don't really have that much of a right to forcefully pry for information." They explained, stretching their arms out of the blanket wrapped around them. "So I decided to wait instead, but now I'm starting to get just a bit impatient. I understand if you aren't ready, take your time, I've waited this long, but I really am curious what you and Gustaf have been talking about...as much as I can't stand that bastard..." They muttered the last part to themselves, hiding their face away and staring at the nearby wall.

Reeve's curiosity peaked at Kai's mention of keeping secrets themselves. Of course, he couldn't really ask about them, just like Kai couldn't pry about what he knew. They were at an impasse.

"...I'll...tell you one day... _Just not now_." Reeve spoke, attempting to keep his composure and hide the fear inside. He tried to continue his drawing, but the poor pencil in his hand was useless now, and needed to be re-sharpened.

"...Lemme guess...You won't tell me because you're afraid of how I'll react, huh?" Kai stated with a smirk. "Think I'll go on a rampage and kill everything I see, right? Must be some _wicked_ information you got hidden in there, now I'm even _more_ curious~"

The accuracy in those statements sent chills down Reeve's spine, and he hid his face from his companion, his eyes wide with anxiety.

"... _eally think that low of me?_ " Kai began muttering to himself with disappointed eyes. "... _ay be a monster but...er the Fredrick Incident I_..."

"...You...?" Reeve looked up from his sketch in confusion, witnessing Kai's frown of defeat and acceptance. "...It's nothing." Kai muttered, burying himself inside the blanket cocoon. "I wanna sleep now." They said, shutting down the conversation and indirectly urging Reeve in his own way to get the fuck out of the room.

And so Reeve left the saloon entirely, his sketchbook and sharpened pencil in hand as he walked towards the recently zombie cleared cemetery. This loop was a lucky one. The 6 of them managed to stay unscathed so far.

To his surprise, Mira was there, just...staring forlornly at the scene beyond the fence she leaned on. She looked almost confused and...shocked?

Mira's been acting weird ever since this loop started. She's been more reclusive. Her head almost constantly in the clouds.

"...Sup Mira." He called out, startlingly the scene girl from her deep thoughts. She gave the telekinetic before her a strained smile. "...Reeve! Hey...uh...how are you?"

 ~~In hell~~. "Pretty good. Mind if I stand next to you and draw?"

"S-sure! What're you drawing?"

The two of them had a rather superficial, yet friendly chat for a few minutes about drawing styles, their situation, and other things.

...And then, all of a sudden, Mira asked a question that froze the world around them.

" _...Hey...did you...have a strange dream when you woke up from the bunker?_ "

"...Why are you asking?" He questioned with dread. No, not _Mira_. Please not this poor girl.

"...I...It's _really_ stupid honestly. I had this dream where I...saw this entire world and saw everything we would do." Mira motioned toward the entire world they stood on. "But like...the events that happened were different. In my dream we ended up...dying in that cemetery..." Mira closed her eyes tightly, rubbing her temples. "I don't know if I'm crazy or not. Maybe I have a _third_ special power? Prophetic dreams?"

 _Everyone died in the cemetery last loop_.

Reeve felt his heart tighten, and he bit his lip in despair.

**Just as he thought. Mira's started remembering the loops.**

...God...why did it have to be _Mira_ though? She was a pure, kind soul who always had a ray of hope, even when he's told her about the loops before. She didn't _deserve_ this shit but... _neither did him and Kai_.

"It wasn't a dream Mira." Reeve deadpanned, giving her a sympathetic gaze. The scene girl in response narrowed her eyes in disbelief. "...What are you...?"

 _Time to rain on her parade_. "We're in a sort of time loop." Reeve began to explain. "...Well, more like game loop. Yeah, this is all a VR game by the way. Every time either one team wins or everyone dies, the game reverts back to when you first wake up in the bunker. Hence it's a loop..."

Mira stared gawking at Reeve, almost as if she was in front of a lunatic. "...I don't believe you." She reasoned, folding her arms, and glaring at the boy before her. "There's _no way_...this can't _just_ be a game that's constantly repeating itself. It feels so... _real_..." She bit her lip, staring intently at the floor. "And I don't trust you one bit. I only trust Adam and Kai. You're just some _stranger_ we ran into. Not only that, but _why_ are we in a game? _Who_ put us in here? What is the game called? _Why is this supposed loop even-_ "

"It's called The Hollow. Two teams compete against each other and whoever wins gets a prize...Doubt there's a prize anymore..." Reeve trailed off, clinging onto the nearby fence and gazing at the bright moon. "You know that weird guy? His name's Gustaf. He's the game host, and has been watching over us, along with the rest of the team outside the game. A friend of his named Fredrick who was also in the team fucked with the code and put us in this hell for shit and giggles by putting some glitch in it. Now he's in custody, and constantly being interrogated. Hasn't cracked so far." Never-mind that part of what he said was a lie. He'll tell Mira about Vanessa some day, but not now. "...and if you don't take _my_ word for it I can take you to Kai and he can confirm what I just said. He's been remembering the loops far longer than I have."

"... _K-Ka_ i knows about them too?!" Mira shouted out in surprise, covering her mouth in concern. "...Wait...how long has this..."

"...Around 2 years in the real world." Reeve answered. He really didn't want to reveal the the other part of the equation but Mira just knew he supposed.

"...and in the game or is it...?"

"...Time's shorter." He mumbled out in defeat. "52 years."

The horrified expression on Mira's face was difficult for Reeve to handle. This poor girl. This poor damn girl. "...Y-you and Kai have...been repeating the same game over and over again for _52 years_?"

Typical Mira. Often thinking about others, and hardly herself. " _Kai_ has. I actually only...started remembering two in game years ago. Kai's been remembering since the beginning."

Now Mira looked even more heartbroken. This was one of her teammates after all. " _Where is he?!_ " She questioned, gripping his arms and looking around the ghost town they were in. " _I need to talk to him!_ "

"He's in the saloon." Reeve answered hesitantly, staring at the building he might as well call his home now him and Kai go in there so much. "But don't expect the Kai you know. He's great at acting. _Very_ different from how he portrays himself to be in front of you and the others."

To his surprise Mira began to head off to the saloon, and Reeve grabbed the girl's arm in response, preventing her from going any farther. " _Geez!_ " He exclaimed. "Be patient will you? Just...follow me and wait outside the saloon. I'll get him and then you two can talk."

Kai was pretty eager when Reeve told them there was something waiting outside for him, and quickly got dressed for the occasion.

An excited smile was completely wiped off his face when he saw Mira outside the saloon. He instantly resumed is innocent facade the millisecond he saw those blue streaks. "...Oh hey Mira! You needed-"

"She's begun to remember the loops."

A few short seconds after Reeve stated this, Kai had almost tackled Mira onto the floor, and wouldn't let go for approximately 2 minutes. He was completely, eerily silent, and Mira hugged Kai back with a saddened, somber frown.

Reeve had never seen Kai like this before, which showed how much he cared about Mira, deep down.

But after those 2 minutes were up, he was back to his true old self. "And the mermaid joins the duo! Making it a trio!" Kai lilted out, a strange, wide smile on his face as he gently pulled Mira's cheeks. " _Man_ I feel _really_ sorry for you! But this is great for me! I've dreamed of this day for years!" Kai's smile widened even more, if that was even possible, and his eyes pierced into Mira's soul. "You, me, and Reeve are gonna have even _more_ fun now!"

Mira felt concern and horror as she stared at the boy before her. _This wasn't Kai, this couldn't be Kai_. The lovable dork she knew was nothing more than a rouse, and the playful, clearly cookoo person before her was what was underneath it. She didn't like it _one bit_ , and wanted to see her friend again. The _real_ real Kai...not... _this_.

But she kept this thought to herself, and glanced at Reeve for a few moments as Kai proceeded to almost nuzzle her damn skin off. The telekinetic subtly shook his head and mouthed out the words. " _You're not going to have fun...at all._ " A warning to ignore Kai's statement.

Mira could tell of course. She didn't need Reeve's warning. With how Kai was now, this game was going to be anything _but_ fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this one's a bit shorter than the others but I don't really have a way of telling anymore. Enjoy the bullshit! ^v^


	26. Found Family of Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One small happy family~

"So uh...Here's something really strange. Fredrick's little friend never left his apartment."

Reeve blinked at the news he was given, relaxing behind the saloon as Gustaf finally showed up with some actual news for him. "...The _fuck_?" Was all he managed to utter, completely baffled.

"Yeah I was kind of thinking that too- _Hey watch your language!_ " Gustaf reprimanded. Reeve just rolled his eyes in response. "Why?" He questioned. Why would the guy stay in Seattle after getting a call about possibly being involved in what is considered a crime?!

"This is Fredrick's friend we're talking about. He's just as messed up in the head...I have no idea." Gustaf concluded. "Three bodyguards that work for our team kicked his door down and there he was, sipping a coffee and greeting them instantly, like he was expecting to eventually be found."

"...So basically he's an insane asshole."

"Yep, Just like Fr- **_REEVE FOR FUCKS SAKE PLEASE STOP SWEARING_!**"

A light giggled escaped Reeve's throat, and he pushed himself up from the sandy floor. "So now what? What's gonna happen now?"

"Dude has no way of escaping if he wants to now. At gunpoint. He's being driven to Vancouver as we speak. Should be here in a few days...real life days."

"So..." Reeve trailed off, unsure if he could even process the realization he now had. "...We... _we're gonna leave this place soon_?"

"...Yeah! W-Well, actually..." Gustaf corrected himself, scratching his head in thought. "It depends really on how fast he can fix this mess...or even if he can. Best case scenario Fredrick was right when he said his friend was better than he was, and he can fix it within a day. If that happens you probably only have somewhere around a couple more months here." Gustaf shrugged, loosely holding his sunglasses in his hand. "I personally think it'll take somewhere around a week or two in real life. More than a couple months in your case. I don't really want to do head math right now."

Reeve was still kind of out of it. The idea that he might actually get out of this hell, really soon? It...He almost couldn't comprehend it.

"...But with that out of the way...are you going to tell Mira about all this?"

Reeve's head was pulled out of the clouds, and he considered the answer to the game host's question deeply. "...I don't know yet...I'm thinking maybe...give it a few loops. Let Mira adjust to the whole game loop thing, and then tell her what's going on...I'm only hesitant because I don't know how she'll react to Vanessa being partially at fault."

"Based on what I know of Mira? Probably not very well at first." Gustaf put his two cents in, stretching his arms and letting out a yawn. "Just tell her what Kai will possibly do to the poor girl if the guy finds out. That should maybe keep her from telling Kai about it. She's kind-hearted, wouldn't want blood on her hands."

Reeve observed the deep bags under Gustaf's eyes, and for once, he felt...some sort of pity for the poor man. "...Are..." He trailed off, unsure if he should even ask, before shaking his head and resolving to finish his question. "Are you ok? I mean...how has this whole thing affected you?"

Gustaf seemed shocked at the question, and looked almost uncomfortable with talking about himself. "...That's...a weird question. I mean, you're going through more misery than I am, that's for sure."

"But this entire...thing seems to have affected you a lot huh?"

The sad purple skinned man eventually nodded his head. "...I had to sell my apartment...haven't left the old hollow headquarters in two years." Gustaf sighed and rubbed his hand against his seemingly aching head. "I have to constantly monitor each and every loop without fail to help you guys out when you call for me. I only get like...7 hours of sleep a week. Most of the time I just drink coffee, the black stuff y'know? No time to put cream in...pretty sure I'm an addict now. I don't get paid for this either, no one does really. All the funds Kai's parents donate goes to researching on fixing the virus. Pretty much everyone that works here is living off junk food and energy drinks, the off-brand shit. Our lives were just ruined, just like that." Gustaf performed a fake snap, to keep himself from teleporting away. "The workers that were in for the money left when they could, we stayed because we were kindhearted."

"... _Jesus_..." Reeve muttered, now feeling just a tiny bit humbled. This entire situation screwed over pretty much everyone involved.

"Let's not even mention your and the others paren-" Gustaf suddenly went silent, and then hit his fist against his hand. "Actually, let's _do_ mention them. I got a call from you parents a few days ago. The news that you've begun to remember the loops somehow reached them I suppose, and now they want to see you."

Like Kai met his butler! "...I..." Reeve was filled with excitement at the opportunity. "Yeah! _I'd love to_!" He doesn't remember who they are, of course. But that doesn't really matter. To see anyone outside of the game other than this purple man dressed like he's from the 80s would be a huge treat for once! "Did Mira's parents call?"

"No, not yet. I'm sure the news will reach them too." Gustaf massaged his shoulders, trying to removed the ache in them. "We tend to keep the stuff going on here on the down low. Even to the parents involved. It just...If I was a dad and my kid was stuck in this place I'd be horrified at all the details y'know?" Gustaf gazed at the telekinetic before him, and then shook his head. "Jesus what am I saying. I basically am the stepfather of the six of you teens now. This is my life now...god I'm only like 26. _I feel old_."

"...Do you regret it? Staying I mean?"

" _No_." Gustaf instantly replied, much to Reeve's shock. "Not in the way you think. I don't regret staying to at least try and help the six of you youngsters out..." Gustaf raised his hand up, preparing to snap his fingers and disappear from the game. "... _The only thing I regret is that I couldn't do enough_."

And just like that, The weird guy was gone. That final statement would be something Reeve would dwell on for a while.

But for now, in that moment, Reeve was quick to wander back into the saloon, and was greeted with the scene of Mira trying to yank a bottle of champagne out of Kai's grasp.

Mira was unsuccessful in her attempts, and Kai downed the whole bottle in under 7 seconds, much to Mira's shock and horror. " _Kai! No!_ " She reprimanded, yanking the empty bottle out of the red-head's grasp. " _You're underage! You shouldn't be drinking this!_ "

"I shouldn't be doing _a lot_ of things but here I am now!" Kai retorted with a slight snarl. Reeve was actually proud of Kai at the moment. Back in the day they used to be merciless when he tried to take their coping mechanisms away. Reeve could distinctly remember some of the insults Kai hurled at him back then. Nowadays Kai still gets mad, but he's more passive aggressive, which is an improvement from calling Reeve a cunt when he tried to take his meth away once.

" _Stop doing those things then_! Just because we're in a game loop doesn't mean we should just... _waste_ our lives away on addictions that won't make us feel better in the long run!" Mira's lesson was completely ignored, and Kai simply rolled his eyes, picking at his fingers in boredom. Mira was pissed at this of course. "Are you _actually_ happy Kai?! Do these things _actually_ make you feel better?!"

Kai, much to Reeve's surprise, ceased his nail picking, and actually seemed to be considering the answer to Mira's question. It wasn't long before he found his answer. "I'm never happy Mira. I think that should be a given." He giggled out in glee, rather contradicting his statement. "Besides, _I don't really like to see walking corpses all the time_."

Mira was confused by that last statement, but Reeve, who had silently walked around the two rememberers and took a seat in front of the bar stand, knew exactly what Kai was referring to.

Kai told him a long time ago, one night after they messed around, that he has really screwed up mental visions when sober. The most horrifying of these were seeing the others around him as walking, talking corpses, covered in scars and wounds he had seen in past loops.

He remembered the guy laughing his ass off while explaining it. "I mean, I'm used to it but like...I'd prefer not to constantly smell that rotting corpse smell you know? That's why I drink and take drugs. It stops them." Was his explanation.

And after he heard that explanation, Reeve was less harsh on Kai and...his habits. More kind about it...

_...Especially once he started going through it too._

It was an on and off thing for him. Kai warned him that's how it started for them. It was only going to get worse apparently, the longer he was stuck here.

Right now he was going through it. Mira was missing a limb, and the fresh scent of blood and alien poison was filling his nostrils. He wanted to throw up.

He's learned to ignore it though. Pretty quickly considering he knew about it beforehand. Didn't make the experience any less horrifying. He _hates_ it. _He hates this. He wants to go home._

"Wh...anyways." Mira shook her head with a sigh, and turned towards Reeve. "Hey! Where've you been off to? You just left me with him after you "introduced" me." Mira pointed towards Kai, who was slowly turning shitfaced from downing that bottle, giggles and hiccups and all.

"I was talking with Gustaf." Reeve answered simply. Mira raised an eyebrow in confusion in response. "Wh...Oh, you mean that weird guy?" The realization struck her in a flash, and she snapped her fingers and pointed to Reeve, who nodded a yes to her question. "What were you two talking about?" She then asked.

"I'll tell you about it one day, not right now." Reeve dismissed Mira's question, much to her dismay. "...Really?!" She shouted in frustration. "Reeve, considering the three of us are all in the same boat, _shouldn't we all be honest with each other?_ "

" _Meh!_ " a red-faced Kai responded for Reeve, somehow now lounging on one of the dining tables like he was being painted for a show. "I myself keep tons of secrets, some big, some small. I shoved the Ishibo up my ass once."

For once, Reeve was _completely_ caught off guard. "...You're _joking_ right?" He almost begged. He's never going to be able to look at that dumb purple glowing stick the same way again.

Mira looked disgusted almost, and she slammed her hand against her forehead in disbelief. ".... _Whyyyyyyyy?!_ " She whined out, tightly biting her lip. Kai shrugged and let out a hysterical laugh. "I was _booooooored._ Did it multiple times actually...I think I killed myself one of those times. accidentally activated its powers while it was in-"

" _Kai oh my gooooooooood!_ " Mira covered her ears and tightly shut her eyes, trying to banish the horrifying thought out of her mind.

'Kai oh my god' was probably going to become the new mantra in this dysfunctional family of three...maybe four if he included Gustaf, that he's now in. Reeve could feel it in his bones as he stepped down from his seat and grabbed the nearest bottle of fireball.

Reeve wondered if the him 2 years before would be rolling in their grave at him drinking these days. He's definitely not an alcoholic like Kai. He's planning on keeping it that way. But sometimes...he just wants to let lose a bit and forget for a while. Right now was one of those times, considering what he's just learned.

Mira was quick to notice what Reeve was doing, if looks could kill, Mira would have obliterated him right then and there. "Reeve! You too?!"

"Hop off my dick. At least I don't snort cocaine on the desert rocks like fire-bitch over there." Reeve pointed at Kai with a teasing smirk on his face. Kai's mischievous smile spread across his face, and he poked his tongue out childishly. "Fire-bitch huh? That's new. Don't believe you called me that when you fucked me against the spider village walls last loop-"

"What?!" Mira squeaked out in shock, a light blush on her face as she turned to Reeve for answers. " _What-_ "

"Don't worry about it." Reeve responded with thinned lips and eyes of embarrassment, waving Mira's question away, but not her confusion. "But-"

"Don't-"

"You can't just-"

"This convo's over."

"I _need_ answers-"

" _No you don't._ "

" **ARE YOU AND KAI ACTUALLY-** "

" _See ya_."

Reeve had already walked up the stairs and shut himself in one of the saloon rooms at that point. Mira stood in front of the bottom steps, and glanced at Kai, silently begging for answers.

"...Yeah, we fuck." Was Kai's answer. "Past two in game years and the bastard's _still_ kind of a virgin at heart." He muttered to himself before falling off the table and shuffling up the stairs, towards Reeve's room.

Mira stood in place in silence for what felt like hours. It was actually only a minute, but it sure felt like hours.

**...She wants to go home...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hon Hon more bullshit for y'all-


	27. Locker Room Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teens will be teens, even under the most horrifying circumstances~

In that loop, everyone ended up dying in the ice castle. That ice giant was merciless that round, and either impaled or icicled everyone.

Kai and Mira were the only exceptions, not in the way you'd think though. Reeve was already a corpse mounted on the wall at that point, but this was what Mira told him happened.

Her and Kai managed to duck into a tunnel along the icy floors of the castle, avoiding the ice giants ice balls, and a painful death. The small little cave they found themselves in was almost cramped, and the two sat side by side, Mira crying in despair over her friend's deaths, and Kai playing with his fingernails in boredom.

Eventually, the silence between them was broken by Kai's harsh truth. "Even if we beat this giant, what then?" He began to lecture out of nowhere. "It's just you and me now. The glitch will start collapsing the game pretty soon anyways. There's no point in continuing onwards."

"...What do we do then?" Mira muttered weakly, her voice croaking in pain. She strained it with the whines she let out as tears spilled down her eyes.

Kai pulled out a switchblade out of nowhere, and handed it to Mira. "Don't slice your neck, you'll choke on your blood and die slowly. Head's better."

Kai didn't need to specify, Mira understood _exactly_ what Kai was suggesting.

It took Kai three hours to convince Mira to kill herself... _that_... _sounds wrong out of context._ Even after Mira finally decided to do it, it took her another hour to actually manage to stab her head. Reeve couldn't really blame her for her reactions.

And so here they were in the next loop. The two groups met at the demon temple, and both realizing that they needed the Ishibo, decided to head to the tree together as a group of six. Adam wasn't that trusting of Vanessa and her two team members, and he honestly had every right to be. Vanessa was planning on backstabbing his team at the last minute by convincing Reeve to use the Ishibo on Adam, like she always did.

Adam was up ahead, leading the way through the forest, after managing to escape the alien in the shuttle with everyone else...they were lucky, very lucky. He kept an eye out for any danger, along with Vanessa, who was right next to him, trying to butter him up. She had no idea that the dude was gay, according to what Kai told him anyways.

Skeet lagged behind like he usually did, most often spacing out. They sometimes sprinted up to him and whispered a dirty comment in his ear, which Reeve would simply scoff at. He remembered a time when those jokes often made him laugh his ass off. Not anymore. It was difficult to laugh about anything.

Him, Kai, and Mira all walked next to each other in the middle of this traveling group of six, sharing the knowledge of their ultimately futile attempts of finding a way home. Only the outside world can save them now. Nothing they can do in here. 

Mira clung tightly onto her arms and often rubbed the side of her head, where Reeve suspected she stabbed herself. She looked dazed, almost broken. She was pr... _definitely_ traumatized by her suicide.

Kai kept up his normal "nerdy dumb-ass" facade, and observed his surroundings. He hadn't suggested they just ditch everyone in 5 months. Reeve was almost proud.

Reeve himself was simply practicing his telekinesis with a small rock he picked up along the way. He had gotten wicked good with his powers, considering he had a lot of time on his hands. He could now hold up an entire house without the slightest bit of strain.

"...You ok Mira?" Kai asked with a whisper, surprisingly. The girl didn't respond. She only sighed deeply, and hid her face from him and Kai, staring down at the floor. Kai raised an eyebrow at her reaction, and let out a huff of annoyance. " _You'll get over it_." He stated bluntly.

Reeve gently elbowed Kai, and gave him a subtle glare. Kai let out a tired sigh, adding on to his previously insensitive comment. "But I know you need some time to process what you've done to yourself. Take your time. We're here for you."

"What're you two talking about?" Skeet suddenly questioned from behind, zooming right next to the group of three. Reeve was quick to make an excuse to get Skeet off their backs. "We're just chatting about what we might find next in this crazy place, you know?"

"My personal guess?" Kai joined in on the excuse. "An old western town."

Haha, very clever reference Kai, considering they're heading to the ghost town right now.

"...Aight, Cool." Was all Skeet replied with, disinterested in the topic and zooming to the back to space out once more.

"...Sooooo..." Reeve picked up their interrupted conversation, and decided to change the topic. "You ain't flirting with anyone this loop?"

"Reevie I haven't fucked Skeet or Adam for half a year now." Kai answered with a small yawn. "Don't really need them anymore."

"Because of me?" Reeve assumed. Him and Kai were still screwing around after all, and Kai wasn't showing any signs of disinterest. Kai responded by slapping Reeve's ass, which didn't shock Reeve in the slightest, but startled Mira and confused the hell out of Skeet in the back, who decided to remain silent and not question what he just saw. "Your dick is bigger anyways-"

"Guy's I'm right here." Mira moaned out in discomfort, partially covering her ears from the new topic being discussed. "Why are you two... _y-y'know_? Anyways?"

"We're teens, we're horny, and we think the other is hot." Kai answered with a sleazy smirk. "Nothing much else to it."

"Am I really that good though?" Reeve couldn't help but question, disbelief in his eyes and a teasing smirk on his lips. "So good at sex to make you want to quit fucking around with the others?"

"Oh so you want me to go to gotta go fast back there? Faster isn't always better." Kai muttered sarcastically, pointing his thumb as Skeet in the back. "And let's not even dwell on 4'4 inches up there." He giggled, pointing to Adam at the front.

"That's actually not bad! 4'4 is sure, below average but not-"

"And you're _bigger_. That's all I'm saying...plus your technique doesn't suck like Skeet's does-"

"Hey guys." Mira interrupted the two boys next to her. "Could you maybe not talk about your sex lives in front of me? _Thanks_!" Her harsh warning silenced the two boys, and abruptly ended the dirty topic. Mira let out a sigh in relief, and focused her attention to Adam and Vanessa...specifically Adam. "...Is sex _all_ you two talk about?"

"...I mean... _yeah_ , kinda." Reeve instantly answered. Kai nodded in agreement to Reeve's statement. "Pretty much. What _else_ would we talk about?"

" _Literally anything else?!_ Like...I don't know!" Mira continued to gaze at Adam's back, a light blush on her face as she thought about the kind, strong boy she had met along this hell ride she was now in. "...Crushes?"

" _Adam's gay._ " Reeve and Kai instantly warned, much to Mira's shock and guilt. She felt her heart break a bit at the news, but tried her best to shake it off. "How do you...even?"

"You end up crushing on Adam a _lot_."

...

...

"O-ok then...so uh...who did you two have crushes on? If you...had any."

"I had a crush on Vanessa way way back. Before I even knew I was in a video game." Kai answered, sighing out as the memories resurfaced in his mind. "She broke my heart and threw it off a cliff though."

"...What did you do afterwords?" Reeve questioned. Kai had told him about the many loops they've been through, but directly after Vanessa broke Kai's heart? Reeve had decided to ask about that at a later date. Now was that later date he supposed.

"...I...was going through _a lot_ of shit really." Kai began with a suddenly somber expression, surprising even Reeve a bit. "Not only did I just have my heart broken from a girl I trusted for over like...30 loops, but I just saw Adam get hit with the Ishibo for the first time and...also found out I was in a video game...I needed someone...and..." Kai focused his attention to the Latino observing the perimeter in front of them. "Adam was the strongest person I knew back then...at least, I _considered_ him the strongest person back then. I began to cling onto him a lot for support after Vanessa first betrayed the team and...one thing led to another..." Kai smiled a bit, and let out a strained giggle. "He confessed his feelings to me eventually in one loop. I didn't feel the same way but I was lonely, so I accepted his love, even if I couldn't fully reciprocate it. I lost my virginity in that loop."

"...What was it like?" Mira couldn't help but ask. "Your first time I mean..."

"... _Thought you said you didn't want to hear about my sex life_ -"

" _W-well_!" Mira bit her lip, and turned her head to the side, an embarrassed blush flushing her face. "If you don't make it too explicit and crude it's _ok_ I guess...with your first time anyways. That's supposed to be a _big deal_!"

"... ** _Virgin_**."

" _H-hey_!" Mira yelped out in embarrassment, begging for Kai to cease the judgemental smirk with her eyes.

"...Nothing much..." Kai eventually answered after a short moment of silence. His tone was eerily quiet. "It hurt, and it felt good too. There's not much else to say. We did it after we defeated Vanessa's team and took the Ishibo back, in the middle of the night. It was meant to be kind of a celebration. I was actually kind of nervous about it at first, but Adam has a way of relaxing you y'know?" A twisted smile grew on his face. "...If that Adam could see me now, I wonder how he would feel about me turning into a slut because of that night."

...

...

"Did you...crush on anyone else?" Mira asked, unable to truly respond to that final, almost heartbreaking comment.

"You in the very first loops." Kai answered with a suddenly chill and relaxed tone. "None of the others though. Love's kind of a dead wish in this place. What about you Reeve?"

Reeve thought, and thought, and thought. "...No, not really."

The answer didn't sit completely right with him for some strange reason, but it was the answer he was sticking with none the less.

" _Seriously_?" Mira muttered in disbelief. " _No one_ is your type?"

"Adam's hot I guess but I never developed a crush on him." Reeve began to explain, naming each human around him. "Skeet's that guy I can only really see as a brother. Vanessa is...definitely not my type. You yourself are also not my type. I'm just not into goth and scene chicks." Reeve then glanced at Kai for a few moments, who stared back with curious, inquisitive eyes.

"...And Kai's _Kai_." He finished as the red-head next to him smirked with insanity. Kai giggled at Reeve's last comment, and playfully hit Reeve's shoulder. " _Sure_ you don't have a crush on me! A lot of people would say not to mess with crazy y'know. Yet here you are, sticking your dick in crazy every chance you can get."

Reeve rolled his eyes as Kai's banter, a light smirk on his face. "Yeah, we fuck, but I can't really see you as anything more than an acquaintance."

Kai frowned, and shoved his face close to Reeve's, a playful pout on his face. "After 2 years of bullshit you _only_ think of me as an "acquaintance?!"

"Fine, fine. _Friends_. You happy now?" Kai smiled widely at Reeve's correction of defeat, and nodded. "I'll be even happier if you let me ride you tonight~"

Reeve blinked at the sultry smirk Kai gave him, and shrugged his shoulders, ignoring Mira's baffled and embarrassed frown at what she was hearing with her own ears. "Aight. Been a while anyways."

Kai silently cheered with a fist pump, and bent over to see Mira better. "You should join us Mira! A threesome would be a _nice_ treat~" Mira's face could not flush any redder in that moment, and she nearly choked on thin air. " ** _W-WHA-_** "

"Just kidding~ I'd _never_ fuck you anyways. You feel too much like a big sister to me. It'd feel weird."

Mira gawked in frustration and embarrassment, and let out a low growl. Sick and tired of Kai's bullshit. Reeve let out a low chuckle at the exchange. "Is it similar with Vanessa too?" He questioned. As far as he remembered Kai never tried to flirt with Vanessa to get some action.

"...Eh. I just don't care about her that much. I suppose deep down I'm _still_ kind of salty about her betrayal. I wouldn't be able to get it on with her without thinking about what she's capable of doing. Not only that but she's surprisingly prude. I don't think she'd screw me even if we were the last people on earth." Kai shrugged at the last comment, unsure of the reason for Vanessa's lack of sexual needs, but Reeve instantly understood why. Vanessa has all her memories before the game. She wasn't willing to take that much advantage of Kai for something like a prize upon winning the competition.

Vanessa's willing to do a lot of things, with the reasoning that in the long run, it wouldn't affect anyone too badly after the game. Having sex with Kai though? In order to butter him up and use him to win? That would have ended up affecting Kai a lot more, even after the game, and she knew it. No wonder she's "prude," as Kai put it. She's not a complete bitch.

Kai continued. "I don't have any of those problems with Adam, Skeet, and you though so naturally I screwed around with all of you all the time. Especially Skeet now that I think about it. The dude's pretty laid back and doesn't require that much effort to seduce unlike Adam and you." Kai suddenly leaned his head against Reeve's shoulder, and purred contently. "But I have _you_ now, so who needs their mediocre sex? You more fun to hang around with anyways~"

"... _Because I remember the loops?_ "

Kai was almost baffled by Reeve's question, and gave him a teasing smirk on recovery. "Yeah! Can't really talk about all the deaths I've experienced with the others. They'd think I'm a madman!"

...

...Sometimes Reeve would wonder if Kai only liked him because he was also a rememberer.

Sometimes, only very recently, Reeve would wonder if Kai was going to start to slowly drift away from him now that Mira, one of his own teammates, was a rememberer too.

...

... _Sometimes Reeve would question why those thoughts made him feel so...hurt._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not obliterate your sense of relative ease and mild contentedness in a few chapters (because stating y'all are happy rn would be an obvious lie. No happiness in THIS fic-).
> 
> But yeah, new chapter!


	28. Deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's so sorry.

A sudden thought occurred in Reeve's head, as Kai excitedly lead him up the saloon stairs and shut the bedroom door behind him.

.. _.Reeve had never seen Kai hard._

...As in like... _his dick_. He's never seen it standing up for attention...hell, come to think of it, he doesn't think he's ever even seen Kai climax...like _actually_ climax.

Why did this sudden thought fly into his head? Well, he was currently watching Kai strip off his pants, so naturally his wandering mind was beginning to head to...certain places.

Plus, the comment Kai said, about how he's been keeping secrets, it's been making Reeve more observant and retrospective lately.

He's wondered about it before, actually, but he usually just chalked it up to Kai's body possibly just being a bit...messed up? After all the deaths they've experienced. Let's not even _mention_ the shit they inject in to their veins.

Now though...he was getting much too curious about Kai, and the supposed secrets he kept to just leave it to assumption.

...And now he was making out with Kai...huh, when did that happen? Being horny does something to you, that's for sure.

The primal desire to pin Kai to the bed hump his pant-less crotch, he let that overtake him as he bit and licked Kai's neck. Kai let out innocent mewls of pleasure in response, which made Reeve chuckle. The red-head was anything but innocent, that's for sure.

In fact, in response to Reeve's sudden controlling behavior, Kai managed to roll Reeve over and pin him down instead, resuming their steamy make out session with a teasing smirk. "Sorry Reevie, but I'm in charge this time~" He purred into Reeve's ear, biting it and letting out a whisper of a moan just for good measure. Reeve was definitely hard now.

Yeah, Reeve was liking where this was going. The desire in Kai's eyes, the sweat dripping off the both of them. The insanely comfortable bed. It was going to be a good night, like any other.

This time though, Reeve was going to try something a bit new.

Where Kai's underwear suddenly went, Reeve had no idea. He was too busy biting his lip in pleasure as his member was enveloped in Kai's warmth to think about anything, really.

Kai lifted his head up and let out shaky moans, a purposely erotic expression plastered on his face as Reeve filled him inside. Upon recovering, he wrapped his arms around Reeve's neck and bit the telekinetic's lip, begging for their tongue. Reeve provided Kai's desire without any protest, and their tongues collided and played with each other.

As this was happening, Reeve cautiously wrapped his hand around Kai's limp dick, and began to subtly stroke it, matching the pace in which Kai began to ride him. the sound of skin sliding against skin, the rocking bed, and their moans and groans filled the bedroom they were fucking in.

...Mira could probably hear them right now, even from downstairs. the two of them were pretty loud.

Their lips separated, and Kai shuddered in supposed pleasure, almost drooling. " _F-fuck! Ahn~_ " He sighed out, burying his head in Reeve's bare chest. " _Ha~ F-feels so good!_ "

...

...Reeve gripped Kai's hips to a standstill, and stared hard at the still limp dick in his hand.

He's being playing with their "joystick" for a while now, it's still limp. _What the hell?_

His old fears began to resurface.

_...Was Kai actually enjoying this?_

_Does Kai actually enjoy sex in general?!_

"...Hey...What's wrong?"

Reeve looked up to stare at Kai's confused, baffled eyes. "...You not feeling up to it after all?"

Reeve returned Kai's inquiry with a stern glare, and gave his answer in the form of another question.

" _Why have I never seen you with a boner?_ "

Silence.

Dead silence.

Kai's confusion slowly morphed into that of... _shock and fear_. Like he's been caught doing something naughty by his parents, and was going to be punished severely.

That fear was quickly replaced with avoidance however. "...W-what?" Kai awkwardly chuckled out with a strained smile. "When did _this_ come up-"

" _Answer my question._ " Reeve demanded. He wanted answers. _Now._

Kai bit his lip, and rubbed his hands against his face, letting out a shaky sigh and a quiet 'oh my god.' "...I...Listen, don't get mad at me OK?"

Reeve did not like where this was going anymore. "...Why would I be angry?"

"...Y'know how I told you I like sex because of the pleasure? Nothing else?"

"...Yeah?"

"...Well that's... _a lie._ "

Reeve's heart froze.

**...Shitshitshitshitshitshit-**

He quickly pulled Kai off his dick and backed away to the bed's pillows. Zipping up his pants and ignoring his painful hard-on. " _F-fuck_ Kai! I-I'm sorr-"

"Why are _you_ be sorry?!" Kai countered, pouting and crossing his bare legs. " _I've_ been lying to you! It's _my_ fault-"

" _But I should have been able tell!_ " Reeve countered with a concerned shout. " _I should have been able to tell that you didn't want to do this._ Fuck I _was_ able to tell! My gut told me there was _something_ wrong with this at first and yet-"

"R-Reeve _no_! I _do_ want to have sex with you! _You didn't even let me finish_!"

 _Reeve absolutely did not like where this was going._ "...What do you mean?"

"I...I'll start with the easiest revelation" Kai breathed in, and then breathed out. Presenting part of the truth to the telekinetic in front of him. " _I can't feel pleasure or pain._ "

...

Cold, freezing silence filled the room. Almost as cold as the ice castle.

"...What the fuck do you _mean_ you can't feel pleasure or pain-"

"It means exactly what it means." Kai began to explain, rubbing his finger along his wrist. "I...A while after I defeated Colrath for the first time...well actually, it was a slow process that started much earlier than that. The point is my nervous system shut down somehow...I can't feel pain or pleasure anymore, I mean, I think I _still_ can sort of. The Alien poison always hurts but like...It feels like a light stomach ache now, instead of feeling like my _entire body is going to burst_. I think it's some sort of psychological reaction, from all of the deaths I've experienced...or maybe it has something to do with the glitch in this game. I don't know."

"...So...all those times you got..." Reeve trailed off, thinking of the 15 thousand times he's seen a spear or knife stuck in some part of Kai's body, and how they barely reacted to said injury and weapon.

"I didn't feel it no. It also means that I...don't really feel anything during sex. Good from bad, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I made fun of the "adventures" I've had with Adam and Skeet to make you feel some pride."

Complete and utter confusion filled Reeve's mind, and he rubbed his head in an attempt to clear the fluff that had formed in it. "...But...If you don't even _feel_ anything during sex then why do you..."

"Here's the more difficult part!" Kai cheered out with sarcasm. "I...I do it for the connection."

"...The _wha_ -"

" _The connection and emotion_! I...It became almost _impossible_ for me to connect emotionally with the others you know? All of a sudden I felt so alone so when...Adam and I first fucked I instantly got hooked." Kai curled up into a fetal position, looking the most vulnerable Reeve had ever seen him yet. "Sex, it... _it became the only way I could connect with others_..."

Reeve was a fleshy, gawking statue by the time Kai finished, horror filled his eyes.

"...Before you react, there's more. This is the worst of it." Kai resumed. "I...I didn't even so much as _think_ about having sex with you until after I flashed you that one time remember? It was because I...Just _being around you_ when you first discovered the loops, I felt like I was constantly being fucked, being given that emotion, that connection. When I did consider screwing around with you I was all on board with the idea. Why _not_ you know?" 

Kai trailed off, and let out another shaky sigh. "...And everything was going fine at first...but then you...you broke down in that spaceship and I was... _terrified_ for a moment. _Me_ , _Kai_ , the guy that's seen _every_ painful death and event imaginable, _terrified_ over the thought of you leaving me...or...not _you_ leaving me... _the solidarity you gave me leaving_." Kai's strained giggle filled the now quiet room. "... **I couldn't have cared less about you as a person back then, you know that?** **You were right.** I wa... **I'm an incredibly insensitive, selfish person.** It could have been Mira instead and I would have also done what she asked and begged her to peg me. **It didn't matter who you were to me, or what you were. I just wanted what you gave me, what you made me feel.** **I was willing to fake some tears and go along with your ideals and your wishes to make you happy, _just_ so I could keep you and have that...You were almost an _object_ to me...you were my latest addiction**...that's how it star-"

"Are you telling me." Reeve began to growl out, clutching onto the bed sheets as rage filled his soul. "That you've been using me _all_ this time?!"

Kai slowly, and reluctantly nodded his head as an answer. "At fir-"

" _You_..." Reeve slid off the bed, seething and gnashing his teeth. " _ **YOU BASTARD!**_ "

"R-Reeve I-"

Reeve ignored Kai's distressed gaze, something he's never seen on the red-head's face before. Instead, he picked up his shirt, and yanked open the door. Kai slid off the bed as well, running up to Reeve and clinging onto him in panic. "R-Reeve _wait_ -"

" **I'M DONE WITH YOU!** " Reeve snarled, whipping his head and pushing Kai away. They landed on the floor with a thud, begging eyes piercing into his heart, but he wouldn't back down. No. He was _not_ going to deal with Kai's manipulation tactics _any longer_!

He remembered a time. A time when he _actually_ thought to himself that he was _OK_ with it if Kai was just using him. _What was he thinking then?!_ This isn't...this feels _horrible_! He feels _worthless_! _He can't do this! He shouldn't have to deal with this! He's going to leave the game soon anyways!_

He would have thought, at the _very_ least, that _some_ sort of genuine connection was formed in the past two years. But no! It was _always_ a lie! He gave Kai his...! 

"...Y-you...You've _always_ been an insensitive prick from the very get go, _haven't you?!_ " Reeve accused, clinging onto the door knob and struggling to keep himself calm and collected. " _To do something like this! To do something so intentionally manipulative to get what you want! To treat me like I'm nothing more than some commodity! You've hardly changed at all these past 2 years_!" He trusted them! He believed in them!

Kai opened his mouth, preparing to defend himself, but then he slowly closed it and stared at the floor in dejection. There was nothing he could say after all, huh?

And yet he opened that lying mouth once more, almost hyperventilating as Reeve walked out the door. " _R-Reeve please don't-_ "

" **Don't you EVER speak to me again!** " Reeve warned with a growl. " **I can tolerate you being around me and talking to me in front of the others but when we're alone? I better see you 10 feet away from me asshole!** "

He then slammed the door, seeing Kai's broken, lifeless eyes for just a split second.

He ignored the tug in his heart as those eyes filled his mind, and stomped down the stairs, struggling to put on his shirt.

Mira was in front of the last steps, covering her mouth in shock and concern. "...R-Reeve...what happe-"

" _ **FUCK OFF!**_ " Reeve snapped, pushing past her and slamming his body against the saloon doors. He walked in a straight line, possibly for almost hours. And soon he could see nothing more than a few faint dots that were the buildings of the ghost town.

And that was when he just...broke down. Tears dripped down his face, and he curled up into a tight ball as the moon shone on him and the arid ground. Screaming bloody murder.

_Why does it hurt so bad?!_

_He hates it!_

_He hates this..._

_He...he just..._

_Kai you fucking..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_M6vxj_qwc
> 
> I'm also so sorry. But I warned you-


	29. Fooled Around and Fell in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He shouldn't have listened to his dick.

Reeve wandered around the arid desert aimlessly, for hours and hours.

Did he have any idea where he was? Yes! Actually! He's pretty much memorized the entire map of the game, and all the locations.

Did he care about where he was going? Did he have a specific place in mind he was heading towards?

_What the fuck do you think "aimlessly" means?_

He's not heading anywhere special.

Just wandering, and trying to clear his head.

Trying to clear his _heart_ as well.

Eventually, as the sun began to slowly rise, Reeve came across the cliff edge of the river. On the other side would be the pine forest, and if you continued to head east you'd eventually find the bunkers, where it would all start.

...Should Reeve jump into the river and let the current wash away his misery for a few moments?

...

Eh, suicide ain't feeling so hot right now. Maybe in a few hours when he's more tired.

He continued wandering, along the cliff side, following the river that lead to the great sea.

...

Until Gustaf showed up out of nowhere, his arms crossed, and his glare sending chills down Reeve's spine. He's never seen the man like this.

"I accidentally took a 5 minute nap on top of the keyboard! What the fuck happened?!" Gustaf shouted in confusion and anger, pulling at his scarf, almost trying to choke himself. "God I need more coffee. Come one Micheal hurry back from Walmart with the good stuff!"

"Kai was fucking using me this entire time." Reeve mustered out. His heart felt like it was stabbed, as he spoke that statement.

It took Gustaf 5 seconds to process the revelation. It left in gawking in confusion. "...The entire time?!"

"Yeah!"

"...Are you 100% sure?!"

"He literally said to my face that he didn't care less about me as an actual person!"

"...And you let him finish his story right? Didn't interrupt him mid-way?"

Reeve opened his mouth, and then closed it, his lips thinning as he glanced at the rushing river next to them.

Yeah, he didn't let Kai finish, but for a good reason! Kai could have tried to manipulate him into forgiving him! Reeve wasn't going to let that happen! He was done with that!

Gustaf bit his lip, and let out a frustrated, tired sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "...Y'know what?" Gustaf began. "I don't have enough caffeine in my system to give you relationship advice. You're nearing 18 in the real world! You can figure this shit out yourself!" Gustaf then rubbed his hand against his face, and shook his head. "Is what I _want_ to say but...I can't just leave you and Kai like this...so I'm letting someone else give you relationship advice."

"...Who?" Reeve frowned at Gustaf's vague statement.

" _Your mom_."

The world froze, for just a moment.

A few hours ago Reeve would have been thrilled to meet his mom.

Right now? _Not so much_.

But she was likely already in the building. Probably drove all the way here. Reeve couldn't turn her down.

"Your dad would have come too but he's like...really busy apparently. I'll put you mom on air right now if you want."

"...Yeah." Reeve reluctantly agreed, letting out a saddened sigh and rubbing his arm. "Sure."

Gustaf snapped out of the game without even so much as saying a goodbye, which was pretty unusual, but it was probably just the lack of coffee, as Gustaf mentioned multiple times.

Reeve sat on the ledge, and waited for a few minutes, his anxiety rising with each second.

All of a sudden, he saw a pair of black high heels, standing by the ledge he sat on. Looking up, he saw a woman with skin his exact shade, and eyes his exact shape. Tall, and poised, the business woman gazed at him for a few moments, and then placed a hand over her heart.

"...Reeve honey?" She called out, her eyes filled with both happiness at being able to see her son again, and despair at the circumstances.

Reeve doesn't remember who this woman is. He knows she's his mom, obviously, because of context. But there were no fond memories of her.

But there was an oh so subtle feeling in Reeve's heart. He felt an instant connection with this woman next to him, that gazed at him lovingly, and called for his name.

This was his actually fucking mom. His very soul knew that, even if he couldn't remember it.

"... _Yeah_...That's me." He strained out, unsure of what to say exactly. He was a bit at ease, and yet not.

"...You don't sound so good hun." The woman commented, taking a seat next to her son, and adjusting her pencil skirt. "Bet this situation sucks huh?"

"More than you can imagine." Reeve groaned out, burying his face into his legs. "But I'm not this depressed normally. Sorry, you caught me at a bad time."

His mom tilted her head in curiosity and worry. "What happened?"

"I just found out this other kid that's in this game, who also remembers the loops...has been a lot longer than me actually...I just found out he's been using me like some commodity, some object." Reeve confessed, clutching his knees and biting his lip, and continuing to bury his face into his legs. "And even though I knew there was a possibility of this happening...I feel so...hurt, and worthless, and I just...hate myself so much, for trusting him."

"...How close were you two?"

"...For...two in game years we were...the only two of the six that remembered. We were very close I guess..." Reeve lifted his head up, and stared into the pine forest on the other side of the river. "Not really friends though...yet also kind of...It's hard for me to explain really...We...had sex a lot. Weren't actually dating though."

Reeve's mom raised an eyebrow at the word "sex". "...Boy you better have used protection-"

"It doesn't matter, we die in a few days anyways, every single time."

Reeve's mother sighed, and stared off into the pine forest as well. "...Yeah...sorry, I forgot Gustaf told me about that."

For a brief moment there was silence, and then Reeve's mother resumed the conversation. "...How did you feel about him?"

The question completely caught Reeve off guard.

"...I... _I don't know_ -"

"Well let's start off with something simple. What would you have done for him, before all this?"

Reeve blinked in thought, and uttered the first thing that came to his mind. "...I would have...I would have protected him."

"From what?"

"From...from all the dangerous NPCs in this game. He's suffered enough deaths you know? And I would have cheered him up, if he would've just...been vulnerable with me again." Reeve sighed, and let out a shaky laugh, or shaky whimper. Reeve wasn't sure which yet. "I would have smiled if he said some dumb, dark ass joke. Would have stayed by his side, even after the game, because we've...damn two years you know? We've known each other, and suffered through so much bullshit for two years you know? How could I..." Reeve trailed off, momentarily unsure of how to finish his sentence. "...How could I not care about him after everything we've gone through together?"

"... _You loved him_."

Reeve's eyes widened, and he glanced at his mother, who gazed at him with sympathy and somberness. " _You still do_."

"... _N-no_!" Reeve began to deny, waving the accusation away with his hands. " _I-I told you! We weren't dating! My heart doesn't get all giddy when I'm around him-_ "

"But when you're near him you feel just a bit happier don't you?" His mother retorted.

Reeve, after an agonizing moment of silence, covered his mouth, tears dripping down his eyes.

_Nononononononononononononononono-_

This _can't_ be happening!

_He can't actually-_

"Love has many different definitions Reeve." His mom began her lecture. "Maybe what you have for this Kai person is romantic love, or maybe it isn't...but that doesn't matter. In the end, you love him."

"H-he's a fucking _lunatic_ mom!" He attempted to reason. "He injects meth into his veins! He drinks like 5 bottles of vodka and then dies of alcohol poisoning in the bathtub! He jokes about the time a witch sucked his fucking soul out with the most amused grin on his face! _I-I can't love him mom!_ **I HAVE STANDARDS-** "

"What else? Any other things about him?"

"He's...he's suffered over 50 in game years in the place. He can be a huge selfish asshole...but...whenever I cried into his arms after a round he would always hug me in complete silence. No words of judgment, just understanding." More tears spilled from Reeve's cheeks, and he let out a small hiccup, "And he's prevented me from going through a loooot of shit that happened to him. He can be kind of overprotective with me. He can be kind sometimes too, I mean, he had good intentions, teaching me how to kill myself! Sure that sounds really fucked up but he didn't want me to suffer through so many painful deaths! I...I thought for sure a few days ago we had some sort of connection. I completely trusted him...gave him my..."

"...Your heart?"

" _I was gonna say my virginity but_ **FUCK THAT BASICALLY WORKS TOO**!" Reeve began to sob violently into his hand, as the pain and grief settled in. " **Fuck! Fucking fuck! I'm so fucking stupid! Why?! Why him?!** "

"You don't choose who you love hun, love chooses you." His mother pulled him into a lose embrace, and Reeve instantly wrapped his arms around his mothers waist, burying his head into her chest for that familiar, primal comfort he still somewhat remembered from long ago.

"...I would like to cancel my subscription of love please." Reeve moaned out after a few minutes of sobbing. "Everything fucking hurts."

"It doesn't work like that." His mother shook her head, and pat his back. "You'll have to wait out the warranty."

"What's the end date?"

"... _Who knows_?"

" _ **F-FUCK!**_ " Reeve sobbed out once more, and his mother let out a small giggle. "...Ah, you're still my little boy. Learned that clever tongue from your one and only mommy!" She pushed Reeve up, and gently caressed his face, her eyes filled with guilt. "...I'm sorry you know."

"...Sorry for what?"

"...Me and your father... _We've never been that involved in your life_..." She confessed, shaking her head. "We were always so busy with our jobs, we left you to figure things out for yourself most of the time...no wonder you hate us so much..."

The revelation shocked Reeve. It couldn't believe it, himself hating this woman! She was so understanding and chill and...somewhat like himself...

"...I don't know about you father, but I regret it so much...not being there for you." She stated, letting out a saddened sigh. "I'd give _anything_ to go back, to have seen your little smile a few more times. Not in a face-time call, but in person. I'm so sorry honey."

Reeve, covered in snot and red eyed, gave his mother a strained, hopeful smile. "...I...I hope that when I leave this place...that I can forgive you."

Reeve's mother smiled, and the two tightly embraced, forgetting the realistic, yet still digital surroundings around them for just a moment.

"...Now...back to the previous topic-"

" _Nothing more to discuss_!" Reeve choked out, straining out a smile. "He doesn't love me back mom! He doesn't give a _shit_ about me!"

"And how exactly do you know that?" Reeve's mother crossed her arms, and raised her eyebrow, challenging the boy before her. "Explain exactly what happened to me."

And he did.

He told her everything about only a few hours ago. What Kai said word to word, the last he saw of them before shutting the door. Everything. And when he was finished.

"...Reeve..." She trailed off, deep in thought, before finally giving her opinion on the situation. "... _He didn't have to tell you about how he used you, you know that right?_ "

...

"That's not what you asked for, you just asked why he was...If he didn't feel sorry for what he did, then he would want to keep all of that a secret for as long as possible. Why confess to that?" His mother gently placed her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. "Listen. I'm not saying you have to forgive him. That's for _you_ to decide but...I think you should talk to him. Talking it out would give the both of you some closure and help you both move on...or...maybe try again."

Reeve's mother stood up from the ledge, and smiled sadly at having to part. "...I need to go now...I'll try to visit as soon as I have more time." She kissed his cheek, and walked a ways off, waving at him and disappearing from the game.

...

Reeve wasn't going to talk to Kai. As much as he...wanted to actually...

Because even though he wanted to...he just...he couldn't even _comprehend_ the thought of seeing the guy right now, after what happened.

No, he's not going to do it! Nothing could convince him otherwise! Said his stubbornness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ-nCesR-oY
> 
> SING IT WITH ME FELLAS.
> 
> FOOLED AROUND AND FELL IN LOOOOOOOOO- *gross sobs*


	30. Story Time #5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hold him.

Faster. Harder. More. Please.

Those were words Kai had learned to moan out just right, to send whoever was pounding deep inside him over the edge.

Words he learned with Adam.

Light caresses and soft kisses, mutterings of reassurance and gentle words. The night sky shown under them, and Adam truly did look breathtaking, holding his hand and asking for the 10th time if he really wanted to do this.

Kai did. Truly.

Did he love Adam?

 _Of course not_.

 _He could never love again, not anymore_.

 _It was too painful sometimes to even be a friend nowadays_.

But Adam was kind and attractive to Kai. That was enough, He supposed. He was only "nervous" as Adam put it because he was worried Adam would be able to see through his facade. See the lack of romance in these dull eyes he had. Grow disgusted at how they'd been taken advantage of.

 _Don't leave, please_.

 _He just wants to be held, to be comforted. He was so lonely all the time_.

 _He's pathetic, asking for more and never giving back_.

 _It hurt_.

 _It hurt a bit at first_.

Kai probably would have felt more but...well, by that point his nervous system was already starting to shut down, so as Adam moved his hips and lost himself in the pleasure, Kai only let out tiny squeaks here and there, and light pants.

Years later, those nerves would shut down completely, and Kai would be unable to feel any pleasure or pain at all.

So, unlike what he would tell Adam, Reeve, and Skeet whenever they asked about his sex addiction. It wasn't because of the pleasure. He was lying. Kai _never_ had felt the true pleasure of sexual intercourse in his entire life.

No, the thing that got Kai hooked, as he watched Adam unfurl before him, and break down all their walls, was the emotion behind it. The pure, raw connection even Kai could still understand.

After thousands of deaths, and thousands of watching other people die. After thousands of loops and still futile attempts at finding an escape out of this makeshift hell, It had become insanely difficult to truly connect with everyone else.

Adam and Mira. They were innocent, and hopeful, and so...so _stupid_. Kai couldn't get that. He couldn't understand that anymore. And so slowly, he emotionally drifted away from him. All of a sudden, he was all alone.

Sex brought out simple emotions like wanting, and neediness. Kai felt those all the time.

So, clinging onto Adam in the afterglow, Kai instantly got hooked to the action.

And so, in the next loop, Kai clung onto Adam again, and memorized all the things that made Adam fall for him. Made Adam happy. Soon enough he was screwing Adam all the time.

Did he love Adam?

 _No_.

Did he love _sex_?

 _Fuck yeah_.

Sex became the only way Kai could connect with other people.

 _Sex became the only way Kai could drive out the loneliness_.

After Kai and his team defeated the dragon for the first time, and Kai woke up again. After that pure scream of frustration, agony, and pain, Kai felt nothing.

Kai would go on to be completely numb and empty for the rest of that loop, which surprisingly _didn't_ end short when Adam and Mira witnessed him briefly snap.

They were wary of him, and his blank, unfocused eyes. They were worried about his lack of appetite, and his lack of words. But they tolerated him, because he got them out of every situation mostly unharmed. Kai was in automatic mode. 

If there was truly no point in anything, then he didn't want to be here. 

And so he died for a while.

 _The Reeve in that loop hated that_.

They seemed to hate him _more_ when he was an emotionless robot than an annoying little asshole.

Pinning him against the wall, they screamed at him. " **WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!** " " **WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!** "

Reeve was always full of emotion, whether it was boiling over or steaming quietly. They couldn't understand him, or why he existed. Kai had become Reeve's antithesis. And Reeve _hated_ that.

Kai wasn't mad at Reeve, for squeezing his arms too tightly against the wall and screaming at him.

 _Kai wasn't able to get mad at anything at the time_.

Kai saw the pure emotion behind those eyes. It brought him back to those needy touches and hot make-out sessions only Adam had given him at that point.

Kai also realized that Reeve was attractive.

 _And that was enough for him_.

So he kissed Reeve, midway through their screaming.Things quickly escalated from there.

Reeve devouring him in fury. Fucking him in near tears with frustration. He liked it. He preferred it over Adam's romantic pecks and whispered sweet nothings, which took up too much time. Here was sex without the love behind it. Only neediness, and anger, and the slightest bit of grief.

Lying on the saloon floor, his pants below his knees, and appearing just as emotionless as he was before, Reeve had turned away from him, almost disgusted with himself it seemed, as he gave out a genuine apology to Kai. The apology shocked Kai. Reeve was a complete asshole as far as he had seen. But this? This showed Reeve had some heart of gold somewhere in there. A capacity to feel guilt.

Kai found it kind of hilarious, how Reeve _actually_ thought they had hurt him somehow. Kai instigated it. He could have _easily_ snapped Reeve's spine in half and stopped it. But he didn't. He didn't want to. The sex made Kai feel alive for the first time since he defeated the dragon.

But then...the chilling realization, as Kai let out a shaky sigh, and lifted himself up on his knees, that it wasn't _enough_.

It was _never_ going to be enough.

No matter how much Kai gave his body away, or got high as a kite, or got drunk as a sailor, he'd _never_ be happy. _Kai was never going to be happy_. He was stuck here... _forever_...

... _Unless_...

He had never tried it before, _maybe_...?

...Regardless, he wanted more from Reeve.

 _More before he attempted to kill himself for the very first time_.

So he slowly crawled towards the telekinetic's back, and wrapped his arms around their neck.

"It's OK." He attempted to whisper into Reeve's ear with a comforting tone. "I liked it...Could you do it again?"

It took some convincing, but Reeve eventually broke down and tackled him again, filled him up once more. This time the emotion Kai felt from Reeve wasn't anger. It was simple, pure somberness. Not sadness. There was a difference. This was subtle, and heart clenching, but no tears would come out.

Kai felt that all the time too.

Kai only started screwing around with Skeet much much later.

By that time Gustaf was constantly giving him updates on the progress of their possible escape. " _Soon_." He always said. That soon never came.

Gustaf told him not to fuck around with the others so much. Said it wasn't healthy.

At that point, Kai was getting _tired_ of Gustaf's lies, so he decided to be disobedient for a change...and why not try something new in the process?

Skeet was a chill guy, and he was kind of hot, Kai supposed. And their first time together wasn't all that bad. _Not that Kai could tell the difference_.

There was something about Skeet that brought Kai back however.

Skeet had _insane_ secret emotional intuition. He could always tell that someone wasn't OK, deep down. Skeet, if he felt he needed to, would pull someone out of the group and try his best to comfort them. He was good at emotional support, like Mira. Unlike Mira however, he was less judgemental and overbearing. He was even more relaxing than Adam.

That first time Skeet and him had sex. In the afterglow, Skeet hovered over him, staring with a stern gaze at his eyes. " _What's wrong dude?_ " Were the first words he panted out, still sweaty from the climax.

Kai was almost impressed. He thought he played his facade pretty well, but Skeet could just... _see right through it_. That was how good he was. The sex probably made it even more obvious.

He told Skeet, about the loops, about all the deaths he had seen, about Gustaf.

It was the very first time Kai told Skeet about the loops.

And Skeet instantly believed him, without question.

Once again, they just knew, that he wasn't lying.

Skeet didn't try to hug him excessively like an overbearing mother, like Mira. He wasn't completely speechless at first, like Adam. He didn't straight up not believe him at first, like Reeve.

He laid next to him, held onto his hand, and simply gazed at him with sympathetic eyes. Didn't say a word. No judgments or exclamations of escaping the game. Simply a silent "I'm here for you."

Skeet knew there was nothing he could say that would make Kai feel better. He understood that his presence was the only thing he could truly give.

Whoever dated Skeet before this mess happened was _fucking lucky_.

If Kai was feeling nostalgic, he went to Adam. If he wanted to have an insane time, he'd go to Reeve.

 _If he just wanted someone to comfort him for a while, he'd go to Skeet_.

  
Kai went on instant emotional overdrive when he first found out Reeve was remembering the loops.

He was normally rather calm and collected, but the fact that Reeve...fuck, that someone was experiencing the same pain he was experiencing. It flipped a switch in him, and suddenly he was giddy as hell.

Being around Reeve suddenly felt like a constant grunge fuck on hyper-drive. _Sex without the actual sex_. 

He never had felt so...happy? Was that the word? In _yeeeeears_.

So because of how he felt around Reeve whenever he was 5 feet near them. The thought of... _actually having sex_ with Reeve didn't cross his mind until after he flashed them in the underground club as a joke.

But the thought really intrigued him, because if he felt this good around Reeve by just being around him, having the guy fuck him would possibly make him experience his first sweet death. And he was _all_ on board with the experiment.

He had never flirted with someone who was able to remember... _everything_ he did though...so it was a learning process. He finally got to suck their dick and holy shit, holy _fuck_. He's become good at hiding his emotions but Kai felt like he was going to _cry_ afterwards. ' _This shit was too good to be true_ ,' he thought to himself.

It was _indeed_ true. But...

In that alien ship, as Reeve broke down and told him all his frustrations and feelings.

 _Kai felt genuine fear_.

 _Genuine fear as one thought slipped into his mind_.

_...If Reeve hates him...then what if they go away?_

_He can't go back to how it was before! He needs Reeve now!_

...No...hell it wasn't even _Reeve himself_ he needed, he just needed the solidarity. Reeve could be a _fucking pineapple_ and Kai would still desperately desire the said pineapple if it made him feel that solidarity.

It was funny, because he was _constantly_ pushing their buttons beforehand, trying to push them away. It hurt every time he did it, but he kept playing with Reeve's emotions anyways. Because as much as he then realized he wanted to keep Reeve by his side, he _also_ wanted Reeve to abandon him and hurt him. _He wanted Reeve to hurt him so bad_. _he wanted to be justified in his own self-hatred_.

But now the thought of Reeve abandoning him felt too painful. He couldn't follow through. He had to change.

So two immediate actions followed suit.

 **1.** Listen to what Reeve says and try to become a "better" person for them, so they won't leave him.

 **2.** Give Reeve his body so they won't leave him.

...Kai... _ **had nothing to give except his body.**_

 _He was completely worthless otherwise._ And Reeve _wasn't_ going to stick around just because he was _nicer_. No way in _hell_.

The only thing Kai hated more than this stupid game, Fredrick, and Gustaf, was **_himself_. He was a _monster_ , a _murderer_ , and a _damn lunatic_ now, but at the very least he knew how to please Reeve _sexually_. He could _at least_ offer Reeve _that_.**

So let's slip a little lie here that he likes sex because of the pleasure. Let's keep that lie deep down because he knows that if Reeve ever found out he could feel neither pleasure or pain, and then was given the truth, the real reason he liked sex, they'd _immediately_ stop screwing him, and Kai _couldn't_ have that. They'd probably feel completely used and ditch him on the spot.

They'd have _every right_ to be angry at him. For quite a while, Kai couldn't have cared _less_ about Reeve as an actual person...

_...But...that's changed now..._

**Now Kai was actually feeling something akin to how he felt for Vanessa with Reeve.**

...But... _not really?_ It felt so _different_ and so... _weird._

Kai usually liked new things. But this was _so fucking scary_. Sex with Adam and Skeet felt _wrong_ now. _He doesn't know what to do with himself anymore. These days he wants desperately to make Reeve smile, to make Reeve look at him endearingly, to have Reeve hold him, to protect Reeve from anything that could hurt them, to protect the last of Reeve's innocence, something he himself doesn't have anymore._

Back in the day the idea of Reeve leaving him made him feel like he was going to have a stroke. 

_Now just thinking of Reeve hating him made him feel like he was going to drop dead on the spot._

So please don't look down at his limp dick. _Never-mind the fact that he hasn't had a boner in decades!_ Look into his eyes and just take him! See? He's enjoying it! In his own way of course but _you_ don't have to know that! Don't pay attention to the fake moans, or the porn-star quality acting. _Lose yourself!_

**Don't leave him!**

**_...Please?_ **

_...Why is Reeve stopping him?_

"... _Hey_." He began, shifting around on Reeve's lap, and pecking his nose with a playful smile. "What's wrong? You not feeling up to it after all?"

Reeve's hand had, curiously enough, been playing with his member as they let Kai ride them. Kai didn't think much of it, and just thought Reeve's hands needed a distraction, something to cling onto as the pleasure overtook their mind.

But Reeve looked almost...concerned and confused at the still limp dick in their hands, and and looked up at Kai, demanding an answer.

"Why have I never seen you with a boner?"

  
A light gasp escaped his throat, and his hyperventilations filled the empty saloon bedroom as he awoke from his dream...or he supposed nightmare.

Reeve wasn't lying next to him, and he wasn't there to comfort him either. Kai wasn't even on the bed. He was on the floor, wearing nothing but his shirt.

...That's right...He...passed out after Reeve stormed out of the room.

Kai curled up into a fetal position, trying to feel something, anything. Whether is was physical or emotional, good or bad, he didn't care. Just something.

But he was numb now. Just as numb as when he first beat Colrath.

...He didn't have to tell Reeve the whole story. He could have stopped at his explanation for loving sex and left it at that.

... _Why did he tell Reeve about his past motivations?_ Would have saved a lot of pain.

...Who is he kidding... _he knew why_...

This secret had been eating him up inside for _so long_. _He felt disgusting, and he wanted to be punished for it. He wanted Reeve to hate him for it. He wanted Reeve to hurt him for it._

But he also _didn't._

**He hates this. He wants this pain but he hates it. He deserves this pain but he regrets placing it on himself.**

...

_...Hah..._

He wants to die more than he usually does right now.

"... _Kai?_ "

...

Mira slowly crept towards Kai's motionless body, gently pulling a bed sheet off the bed and covering him with it.

...

"Kai..." Mira began, pulling his limp body into a soft hug. "Kai... _What's wrong?_ What happened between you and Reeve?"

...

"...Kai _please_..."

...

...After 50 in game years, Kai was dead again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ravioli ravioli here's your dosage of pain Molly :')
> 
> Aight folks see ya next time-


	31. We're in This Together!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's so proud of Mira. She's learning quick...

Adam and Mira teamed up against Vanessa and Skeet for the Ishibo in that loop. Mira's team ended up winning, and Skeet and Vanessa scampered off upon their defeat.

After that, Adam was swallowed whole as he finished off Colrath, giving Mira the opportunity to go through the castle portal with Kai.

What happened to Reeve? Mira had no idea. He stormed off after the...incident, and never returned. Either he died or he continued wandering until the glitchy walls came into contact with him and vaporized him...actually...that was basically death as well in a way.

She hadn't mentioned Kai because...well...Kai wasn't himself anymore, or well, _the himself Mira hasn't gotten used to yet_.

Kai wasn't even a _person_ anymore. He looked and acted almost like a doll now. He wouldn't move. He wouldn't talk. He wouldn't so much as _blink_. Sometimes Mira wondered if he was _actually dead_ , but he was still breathing, although barely.

Mira made an excuse to Adam while he was still alive in that loop that Kai touched something he shouldn't have and was now sick. Adam bought it, and he carried Kai all the way to Colrath's castle...until he was... _eaten_.

Mira carried Kai with him the rest of the way, and destroyed the gate, jumping through the portal with Kai on her back, and waking up back in the bunker.

This was her third loop now. _Still_ she couldn't fully comprehend it all, that they were in a digital time loop. There were a lot of things she couldn't comprehend at the moment, now that she thinks about it.

She would have reluctantly walked up to Kai first thing for some comfort and solidarity but...well...Kai was still basically a corpse when she woke up. The new Adam, upon also waking up, assumed the red-head was in a coma...he wasn't that far off really. Kai had become completely unresponsive after...whatever the hell happened between him and Reeve.

And Mira was _quickly_ growing tired of it, as she carried the completely motionless Kai up to the demon temple, searching for the Ishibo once again.

The millisecond she sees Reeve she is going to demand some answers.

"...Looks like we're here." Adam commented, waltzing up to the front doors of the eerie temple. "Let's find the Ishibo and get back home...then we can _hopefully_...find out what's wrong with this Kai guy."

Adam only knew Kai's name because they both searched his pockets upon finding little name-tags in their own. Mira of course already knew Kai's name...she was a rememberer now...

...Go home, huh? There was... _apparently no way of going home_.

... _She had to tell him_.

"...Adam..." She began, catching the Latino's attention, as he pushed the doors to the temple open. "...Yeah?"

"There's no-"

A light tug.

Mira looked down for a moment, to see Kai's hand ever so subtly clutching a small part of her jacket. So subtly even Adam didn't notice it.

She remembered something Kai told her last loop, while they were only a group of three.

_"I know you want to tell Adam about the loops...heck, you want to tell everyone. I can see it in your eyes...but I wouldn't recommend it if you don't like to crush people's hopes and dreams." Kai whispered to her as they traveled through the demon dog forest. "...Especially with Adam, I guarantee you it will not end well for him."_

...Looks like Kai wasn't in a coma...

...He was just... _broken_...

And he decided to use the tiniest bit of his little strength to warn her not to do it. To not tell Adam about the loops.

"...No uh...there's no way we'll lose to these monks!" She stated cheerfully, a strained smile on her face. "We'll get home for sure!"

Adam gave Mira an endearing smile, and nodded eagerly. "Yeah! I mean, with our powers combined? We could take on _anything_! Remember all the stuff we've gone through so far?"

Yeah... _and everything afterwards_.

But she didn't say that. Instead, she nodded a yes. The two walked through the demon monk statues in silence, wary at the said statues and their clay textured faces.

Upon seeing that familiar stick, propped up on a mantel, Adam was just about to grab it...

And then everything went black.

The next thing Mira knew, she was in a small, adobe dungeon. Adam's unconscious body was in the cell in front of her. To the right cell was Kai, and to the left cell was Reeve.

Shoot! Reeve's team must have gotten captured and put in the underground dungeons of the temple! Her team was then caught ne-

**Reeve was next to her.**

" _...You..._ " She growled out, glaring at the silent Reeve next to her, curled up in a fetal position. Reeve lifted his head ever so slightly, to witness the livid expression on Mira's face.

"...Did I...do something wrong?" Reeve questioned with confusion. Unsure of what he did that pissed the scene girl off. He hoped she answered with less than a few words...he...

...He's so tired of everything.

" **YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID ASSHOLE!** " Mira screamed, scooting closer to Reeve's cell and startling the telekinetic from his fetal position. " **But I don't! What happened between you and Kai?!** "

Reeve's expression of confusion morphed into that of anger, and grief. "...Are you...seriously taking that guy's side?!" He shouted out, clutching onto the bars and biting his lip as he stared at the ground. "You have no ide...He _used_ me Mira! _All this time_! He's never thought of me as a person, as someone to lean onto! _He probably feels the same about you!_ " He warned, looking back up to Mira's surprised eyes. "Stay away from him Mira! He's incredibly manipulative! You'll think you'll be ok with it at first but _then_..."

Mira's surprise, instead of turning into understanding, turned into pure rage. She grabbed Reeve's shirt collar through the bars of the cells, and leaned away from Reeve's view, allowing him to see the corpse that was Kai in the next cell. " _ **DOES THAT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU?!**_ "

Reeve widened his eyes at the body he was presented with...no...it wasn't just a body. It was Kai. The bastard was alive, he's able to tell, but...they almost look like a dead body...a lifeless doll.

" **He's been like this ever since that argument you had with him!** " Mira explained, much to Reeve's shock. " **He won't eat, he won't talk, he won't move, he won't blink, he won't do anything! It's like he's in a coma! If what you're saying was actually true then Kai would be aaaaaall over me right now! But he's not! He's actually doing the exact opposite of buttering me up!** " Mira's grip on Reeve's collar tightened, and she glared furiously at him. " **And I don't know about you, but I'm already kind of tired of having to carry Kai wherever I go! so when we escape this temple, you will talk to Kai. You will snap him out of this rut he's in. The two of you will have some closure, and we can hopefully move on from this! _DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!_** "

Reeve continued to stare at Kai's almost lifeless body. The slightest chest rising indicated he was still alive, but his skin was bony and pale, signifying he hadn't eaten a darn thing since he woke up.

Reeve, after a long, long moment of silence, finally nodded his head, a shaky sigh escaping his throat as Mira released her grip on Reeve's chirt collar. Guess he _was_ gonna do what his mom suggested after all. No matter how mad at Kai he was, he wasn't a complete asshole. He's _not_ going to leave Kai like... _that_.

"... _Ok!_ " Mira clapped her hands together, and observed her surroundings once more. "Vanessa and Skeet here as well?"

"Yeah." Reeve replied, nodding his head towards Vanessa's cage, which was right next to his, and Skeet's cage, right in front of his. Both were somehow still asleep despite all the shouting just a few minutes ago.

"Ok then...how do we escape?" Mira questioned Reeve. The telekinetic answered with glowing eyes and the unlocking of a cell door, his door. He quickly stepped out of his cage, and used his powers to unlock all of the other's cells.

"...Wow..." Mira commented as she walked through her cell door, gazing at Reeve with a hint of admiration. "...You could have...done that earlier...why didn't you?"

Reeve didn't respond. He looked absolutely _horrible_. Almost as horrible as Kai... _but at least Reeve was actually moving and responding to her questions_.

"... _You're just as hopeless without Kai as Kai is hopeless without you._ " Mira muttered out, placing her hand on her hips and thinking of a plan to escape the demon temple.

The comment caught Reeve off guard. _Was he...really...?_

"Ok Reeve. Since I've never been in this specific situation before. How do you think we should escape this place." She prompted, trying to get his head out of the clouds. Reeve blinked with sudden awareness, and raced towards the steps, which lead to the bottom floor, under the throne room. "We go through the bottom floor maze, and take down Akuma. He won't let us off that easy. We'll have to do something about him and his minions."

Mira nodded, and looked behind herself, staring at Adam and the others. "...Should we wake up the others-"

"No, not right now. I could probably handle Akuma all by myself." Reeve cracked his knuckles, a strained, cocky smile on his lips. "I've gotten pretty good at fighting him. You can stay here and watch over the others."

"I'm coming with you."

 _Stubborn._ "No you're not-"

" _Look_ I _know_ I only have animal whispering and swimming powers but I can still help. Not only that, but we're _both_ rememberers. We stick together."

Reeve blinked at Mira's down to earth statement, and let out a sigh, facepalming and stretching his neck. "...Are you... _100%_ sure? You could die."

"...I've... _already died before!_ " Mira concluded, a somber smile on her face. " _I don't have much to lose._ "

A small smile crept on Reeve's lips, and he playfully hit Mira's shoulder. " _Now_ you're starting to get a hang of it."

The two rememberers pushed through the wooden doors, and easily navigated the difficult maze with Reeve's previous knowledge.

...

_...A corpse in one of the cells with blazing red-hair twitched ever so slightly, before slowly lifting himself up, and shuffling after the two teens._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Depending on how I feel you all may or may not get a second chapter on the same day! ^v^


	32. Let's Go 'Round Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe we'll turn back the hands of time.
> 
> Let's go 'round again.
> 
> One more time...

Two demon monk guards stood in front of an archway, leading to the entrance to the throne room.

In the span of a few seconds, one was launched directly in front of Akuma himself, who lounged in his throne, and watched one of his loyal subject shatter into clay pieces. The other was tackled by a swarm of mice. A small group handed the monk's spear to an Asian girl with blue hair streaks, who stood next to a dark skinned boy with glowing white eyes.

Akuma, ever a prideful one, was completely shocked at his subjects escape. " _How!?_ " He shouted in fury. " _How did you-_ "

But before Akuma could speak another word he was smacked in the side with the now floating Ishibo, and flew across the floor, clutching onto his wounded glowing arm and moaning in pain.

The battle was won, just like that.

"Wow!" Mira lilted out in awe, clutching tightly onto her new spear. "That was fast!"

"You don't let villains monologue. First rule of thumb. Take 'em down when you can." Reeve explained proudly, like a teacher to his student. The student smiled eagerly, before stepping towards the archway with a few mice in tow. "We better get the others out the-"

_Stab._

Reeve watched, almost in slow motion, as a single spear flew through Mira's lower leg. The girl screeched in pain, and fell to the floor.

Surrounded.

Him and Mira were surrounded by thousands of monks, and the cocky Akuma smirked with glee, awaiting his enemies defeat.

But that made no sense? Him and Mira destroyed every single monk in their path! None should be alive to alert the army-

_...The monk attacked by the mice!_

There they were, still wiping a few little critters off their legs, quickly stealing back his spear and joining the surrounding army. They must have snuck out to alert the army while Mira and Reeve were busy with Akuma! _Quick little bastard!_

Him and Mira were dead now. There's no way they'd be able to get out of this by themselves. Reeve's tried it once and...well...let's say he was glad Kai was there to put him out of his misery-

_...Kai..._

As a spear flew towards his chest, he couldn't help but laugh a bit, a how _pathetic_ he was. He couldn't keep the boy off his mind for one second it seemed, even after _everything_ that happened.

He closed his eyes, and awaited a long, excruciatingly painful death. God he feels sorry for Mira-

...

... _huh?_

He...doesn't feel any pain but...he heard the sound of piercing flesh... _Wha..._

He opened his eyes, and beheld Kai himself, standing directly in front of Reeve, a switchblade in hand and a spear impelled into his shoulder.

" **...Take him down!** " Akuma commanded, annoyance filling his dastardly face. " _Give the other two an example of what will happen to them in only a few moments!_ "

Akuma's men never got the chance.

Mostly because Kai proceeded to _stab, crack, destroy, and crush every single demon monk in his path in a frenzy._ His switchblade a flaming blue, and his face completely blank and devoid of emotion. Not even the occasional spear stabbing right through a thigh or ankle stopped him, and he trooped along until there was nothing more than small, cracked pieces of clay on the ground, surrounding a horrified and defeated Akuma.

" _...W-wait!_ " Begged Akuma, as Kai slowly shuffled closer and closer to the Demon King, his switchblade's flame brightening. " _I surrender! I surrender! I recognize you as a true warrior! All of you-_ "

_Akuma wasn't able to finish his sentence once Kai slit his throat with one swift motion._

The Demon king collapsed onto the ground, convulsing and drowning in his own blood, as a pool of red formed under his head, and a burning flame spread to the rest of his body. The sounds of a man choking and burning to death filled the large, now nearly empty throne room, and Kai watched the life drain from the Demon's eyes, without so much as blinking.

Luckily for Mira, her pain tolerance was low, and she passed out before Kai even showed up. She didn't see the slow murder of a somewhat human looking being.

_Reeve did though._

_He saw it all._

He didn't utter a sound. He only watched this... _force of flaming nature_ tear through an entire army, and come out only somewhat scratched...if you counted being _impaled_ a few times a simple flesh wound.

_...What does he say?_

_How the fuck do you try to gain closure with someone after this?!_

" _...Why are you just standing there?_ "

Reeve was almost...horrified at the small, quiet voice that haunted out that sentence. _That wasn't Kai's voice. That couldn't be Kai's voice._

But it was, because the voice came out of Kai's mouth. "...You _hate_ me now don't you?" They seemed to almost plead.

Reeve was about to say a whole-hearted no, but the clacking of the switchblade Kai held startled Reeve, and he stared hard at the weapon now in front of his knees.

" **Then kill me.** "

The boy before him almost begged for the above command, and Reeve sat on the clay covered floor, gawking in shock.

...N...no...he must be taking it the wrong way. Kai probably just wants Reeve to mercy kill him, considering the spears in their body. "...There's only a few spears here and there. I'm _sure_ you'll live-"

" **I don't want you to put me out of my misery.** " Kai stated slowly, shuffling closer towards Reeve. " **I want you to drain the life out of my body and take out your anger on me.** " Kai shuffled even closer, with wide, shaking eyes, much to Reeve's concern and horror. " **I want you to hurt me the only way I can be hurt anymore. I want to see the hatred in your eyes as you stab the living shit out of me.** "

"Kai-"

" **Do it.** "

"Kai _sto-_ "

" **FUcking Do IT COWard-** "

Kai was pulled into a tight, air sucking embrace, the switchblade abandoned on the floor. " _ **STOP IT!**_ " Screeched Reeve, and Kai's deranged demands ceased. Instead, they attempted to bite, scratch, and kick out of Reeve's arms. The attempt was unsuccessful, as Reeve's stubbornness certainly did not go away with age.

Eventually, the red-head collapsed into Reeve's arms, and began to sob...or laugh, Reeve couldn't tell. " _ **I HatE ThiS.**_ " Kai whimpered out, nearly breaking Reeve's heart right then and there. " _ **I HaTe MyseLf sO MucH.**_ "

"... _I_ don't hate you." Reeve spoke softly into Kai's ear, and held him even tighter, if that was even possible. He slowly guided them down to the floor with him. "...Why are you _doing_ this to yourself?"

"...I... _I don't know!_ " Kai confessed, burying his face deeper into Reeve's shoulder. "Because I _deserve_ it I guess!"

"...You... _really feel sorry for using me huh?_ "

"... _Of course_..." Kai muttered out. Reeve really shouldn't be surprised, considering what happened only a few seconds prier, but he was anyways. "... _Why?_ Because you know it was wrong or..."

"... _Because I don't like it when you're hurt._ "

...The same excuse...but this time... _it felt way more genuine._

"...I think there's something wrong with me." Kai mumbled out in exhaustion, lifting his head up and revealing to Reeve an absolutely fucked up Kai. Messy hair, deep eye-bags, and pale skin. The whole shebang. "...Because...what I feel for you...It feels _kind of familiar_ but...it feels _different_ as well."

"...Like what?"

"...Like... _Vanes..._ "

Kai didn't need to finish that trailed off sentence. Reeve _knew_.

...It was...going to be a while before Reeve could fully forgive Kai for what he had done, but...

... _If Kai formed the same love for him as he still feels for Kai throughout the years then...Reeve felt it was worth it, trying again._

"...That's _love_ Kai." Reeve explained to the now bewildered Kai. "...Someone told me so."

A short silence filled the room, and the now woozy Kai was pouring out tears from his eyes. No sniffles, no frown. Just tears, and that was the first time Reeve truly saw Kai cry.

" ** _...I'm scared._** "

That simple, whimper of a statement broke Reeve, and he cupped Kai's cold, blood stained cheeks. " _...I know..._ " He confessed to the red-head, as their foreheads touched. " _I am too._ "

And Kai kissed him, all of a sudden. It was desperate, and Reeve could tell, he could tell with the way Kai licked his lips and begged for tongue, that the red-head was trying to seduce him.

" _No._ " He quickly whispered, pushing Kai's hand away from his crotch. " _We're not doing that anymore._ "

"B- _but_." Kai sounded like he was going to die at the revelation, and kneaded Reeve's shirt, begging for the telekinetic to take the sentence back, and replace that look of pity with lust. "Just because I don't feel it doesn't mean I don't _enjoy_ -"

"It's not _that._ Kai. _You aren't in the right state of mind for this._ " Reeve sighed out, embracing Kai once more, and letting out a somber sigh. " _You never were._ " After all these years, Reeve _finally_ understood what his gut was trying to tell him.

"B-but if I...If I can't make you _feel good_ then... _what else am I good fo-_ "

" _Stop it._ " Reeve hissed, startling the boy in his arms. " _Don't say that._ Don't even _finish_ that sentence in your head. I don't need _anything_ from you. _I just need you._ "

"...You're _stupid_ , you know that?" Kai warned, burying his face into the nook of Reeve's neck. "Loving someone like _me_. I'm... _really fucked up_ Reeve. You deserve _better_."

"I'm going to _make_ you better." Reeve began, nuzzling Kai's ruff, course hair. "I'm not tolerating _any_ of your coping mechanisms anymore. The alcohol, the drugs, the sex addiction, anything else? _That's going away Kai_. I don't _care_ that you think you can't live without them. That's changing starting _today_. _You can't go on like this._ "

" **Why not!** " Kai shouted in panic, hyperventilating at the thought of everything, everything that made him feel sane being torn away from him. " **W-we're never leaving this hell Reeve! Who cares-** "

" _ **I DO!**_ " Reeve screamed, clutching and steadying Kai's shaking body. "...I can't see you go on like this...and... _that's not true you know? That we're never leaving this game._ "

"... _What do you_..."

"...Gustaf and I...we've been talking for a while." Finally, he figured it was time to get the first secret he's been keeping out of the way. He was hoping to tell Kai later, when he was 100% sure they were going to be saved. He didn't want to get the guy's hopes up. _So much for that_. "We've found the guy that caused the virus...glitch...whatever in this game. He's coming to headquarters right now, and if he fixes it... _then it's a clear path to getting us out of here_."

Kai stared at Reeve with a blank face.

"... _We're going home Kai._ " Reeve attempted to cheer out, a hopeful smile on his face. " _Home_ home."

Kai continued to stare at Reeve with a blank face.

_...And then Kai's eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he passed out in Reeve's arms._

Reeve quickly checked for a pulse, unsure if Kai fainted from the news or from the blood loss, with the spears still in his body. But when he heard a strong heartbeat, he knew Kai would be ok for now.

Setting the boy down on the floor, he quickly shook Mira awake. The girl woke slowly, groaning at the pain that coursed through her leg. "... _S-shit_..." She whimpered out, and Reeve couldn't help but giggle in amusement. "Hurts doesn't it?"

"Like _hell_." She agreed, attempting to stand up, but nearly falling back down. Reeve caught her just in time. "You look...better, Reeve...wha-"

She saw the peacefully sleeping Kai on the floor...well, despite the impaled spears, and put two and two together. She looked up at Reeve, and gave the boy a relieved smile. "...So did you two have your closure?"

" _Yeah._ " Reeve nodded, a small smile on his face. "We're gonna try again. We're cool now...till the _next_ argument happens anyways."

The joke caused both to giggle in amusement, and the two's heart to heart brightened the atmosphere of the room.

"...But, uh..." Reeve gazed with Mira, a suddenly serious frown on his face. "... _It's time you had a chat with Gustaf, Mira...I think you're ready._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkGZmmrLFAU
> 
> So yeah I felt like it. This is going to be the most mildly content you're going to get in this fic...maybe-


	33. Willing Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, they were getting somewhere.

"...Vanessa was the one that caused all...this?" Mira muttered the question in disbelief, motioning to her leg wound, which Reeve was tending too as Gustaf twirled their scarf in their hand.

In the throne room, on Akuma's throne, rested a bandaged, unconscious Kai, far away from the current conversation. At least, that's were Reeve put Kai.

"Not necessarily. Fredrick caused these loops in the first place. The virus in Vanessa's contact lenses were the final ingredients that brewed this specific concoction of a disaster." Gustaf attempted to explain, lounging along the outside walls of the demon temple. "Without those ingredients well...the 6 of you probably would have been out in a few real life weeks. That doesn't mean Vanessa was the one that stirred the concoction though. Fredrick did."

"But she's still partially responsible!" Mira countered, nearly standing upright, but falling back down and clutching her half bandaged leg as a wince escaped her clenched teeth. "We can't just lay her off! She tried to cheat the game!"

"Yeah but you think she knew what she was doing Mira?!" Reeve countered, much to Mira's shock. "She just wanted to impress her parents! You think she intended for all of this to happen-"

"And you!" Mira accusingly pointed at Reeve, a tight glare in her eyes. "You complained about how Kai lied to you all these years, while simultaneously keeping a far greater secret of your own! Kai deserves to know about this Reeve! He's suffered the most out of all of us-"

"Kai's lie and my lie are completely different things! I...we are keeping Vanessa's involvement a secret to protect her from the guy!"

"Why would you need to protect Vanessa from Kai?!" Mira retorted, completely baffled. "Kai wouldn't...hurt or...kill someone in cold rage..." Mira slowly turned to Gustaf, pleading for a confirmation. "... _Right?_ "

Gustaf stood there, processing the question in his head.

It all came back to him at once.

"So Kai and Fredrick are talking right now, huh?"

Fredrick looked up from his granola bar, and gazed over to the young lady next to him.

Madeline. She just joined the team when Adam and Vanessa's teams were about to play.

A Latina of around 21 years of age with platinum blonde hair; she used to be filled with passion and vigor, and her youthful and creative ideas were the finishing touches to the game...the game that would have been so fun if...

Now Madeline hardly ever smiled anymore. What she saw on the screens in the stage had hardened her.

God she was only 19 then. She was going to college and everything...now she's a drop out. Can't really attend class when you have work to do nonstop.

"Yeah..."

"You don't sound to thrilled about that." Madeline pushed further, biting into her strawberry tart. The bags under her eyes further paling her discolored skin. "What are you worried about?"

"...God, sometimes Madeline you're...too observant." Gustaf cracked his shoulders, and tapped his finger along his 6th cup of coffee that day. "I just... _have a bad feeling about this_...like... _something's going to go horribly wrong_."

"...Between those two?" Madeline prodded, and Gustaf nodded in agreement, and took a sip of the heavenly caffeine. "Gus, Kai's a teenager. Fredrick's a lunatic but I don't think he's _that_ much of a disgusting degenerate."

" _It's not Fredrick hurting Kai I'm worried about._ "

"...Reasonable fear." Madeline concluded with a sigh, sipping her iced tea. "We've all seen Kai's capabilities...possibly only part of them. But..." She turned to Fredrick, the tiniest, hopeful smile on her face. "I have faith in Kai...and in what you've tried to teach him."

A light-hearted smile formed on Gustaf's face, and he let out a small chuckle. "You're a fine woman Madie you know that?" Gustaf complimented the fair-haired lady, who's smiled brightened ever so slightly. "Whoever possibly marries you will be fucking lucky."

"If I ever get married at this point." Madeline sighed out, suddenly leaning her head against Fredrick's shoulder. "... _Y'know what? You and I should get married!_ Have the celebration in the studio! It'll brighten up the atmosphere of this place."

Gustaf snorted, and although his heart was elated at the idea, he shook his head at the proposal. "Oh you don't want some old coot like me." Gustaf warned, pulling his sunglasses down for a few moments. "What about Jessica? You and her get along pretty well! She's in your age group as well."

"You and I are both in our 20s!" Madeline countered, a light pout on her lips. She then gently poked Gustaf's cheek. "And I like your wacky showmanship!"

Gustaf gently clutched Madeline's hand, and squeezed it. "Alright then, how about this. After this is all over, you and I can go out and have a drink." Gustaf snapped his fingers as the short woman. "You never having had wine should be _illegal_."

Madeline snorted at the proposal, and nodded eagerly, sprinting towards the center of the hallway and urging Gustaf to follow her towards the stage. " _I'll be looking forward to that_!" She lilted out.

Madeline smiling, a rare sight these days that only Gustaf was able to see.

He wanted to see her smile more, after this shit-show ends.

...

... _What the...?_

Passing by the vending machine, they cape upon the double doors that lead to the stage room.

...It was surrounded by thousands of his coworkers, all muttering in shock and gasping in disbelief.

"... _What...?_ "

" _I'm scoping this out, stay behind for a bit._ " Gustaf muttered to the confused Madeline, and pushed himself past the coders and programmers, who watched the scene as if they were witnessing a horror movie.

 _They were_.

Except it was _real_...at least... _digital_ real.

The audio was muted, but the fact that **Fredrick was screaming bloody murder, as Kai finished sawing off his last limb, was _very_ apparent.**

**Kai's mouth was dripping with blood, as he threw the limb a ways off. A deep bite mark was on Fredrick's face on the screen.**

**More importantly, Fredrick's limbs were cut off from his own fucking body. There was red everywhere. So much red.**

**Gustaf could only stare, eyes wide and mouth gawking, as Kai steadied his switchblade, an unnatural, dazed expression on his face, and then proceed to slowly cut open the black haired man's stomach open.**

**Gustaf left when he saw intestines being pulled out.**

He sprinted out of the room as fast as he could and threw up his granola bar in a nearby trashcan, much to Madeline's dismay, who clutched onto his back, begging for an explanation as her concern grew and grew.

_He couldn't explain it at the time._

_He could barely even process it at the time. Process what he saw._

_He could only beg Madeline to not go in there, to stay with him, and wait for it to be over._

_...From then on his nightmares were filled with a red-headed boy, gazing at him without mercy and preparing to strike with a shiny, sharp blade._

Reeve frowned at the adult before him shivered at Mira's question, and covered his mouth, as if he was trying not to throw up.

"...He's done it _before_." Reeve explained to the horrified Mira. " _He tortured Fredrick when the two met. Cut the guy into pieces._ "

Mira clasped her hands over her mouth in shock, before slowly, and then vigorously shaking her head. " **No!** " Mira shouted stubbornly. " **Kai would _never_ do something like that-**"

" _Well he did._ " Gustaf snapped, alerting the two teenagers of the shaking man, who partially covered his ears and tightly closed his eyes. "And...I... _It's kind of my fault-_ "

Reeve quickly shook his head. " _Gus no. Don't do this agai-_ "

" **Only two people call me Gus.** " Gustaf warned with a glare. " **One of them is my mommy. _You're not the second._** "

" _...Right_ , sorry. _Gustaf_. You couldn't have _known_ that would happen-"

" _I kind of did!_ " Gustaf countered, his shaking hands spread out, presenting himself to the kids before him. "I had a _horrible_ feeling before I left Kai alone with Fredrick! I should have listened to my gut! I-"

" _There's no point in blaming anyone about what happened._ " Reeve settled, tying the last knot of Mira's bandaged leg, and crossing his arms. "The past is the past! _Shit happens sometimes!_ "

Reeve's down to earth statement silenced the air surrounding them for a moment, until Mira put in her own two cents. "...Or we could blame _Fredrick_."

"...I mean...he's the victim of Kai's rage but I like to hope the man tried to antagonize Kai and _that's_ why the kid snapped..." Gustaf muttered, scratching his head. "Cause if that was the case then yeah, it _would_ be Fredrick's fault. Should have known better."

"...Now that we've got _that_ shit out of the way." Reeve moaned out, cracking his shoulders and lounging on the steps leading to the demon temple. "You're not going to tell Kai about Vanessa now, right?" He turned to Mira, who reluctantly nodded. "...Yeah...because...if he did to Vanessa what he did to _Fredrick_... _that_..." Mira clasped her hand over her mouth again, her eyes filled with despair and shock. "...Vanessa may be partially responsible for our misery but she... _she doesn't deserve to be tortured_. _Even if she wouldn't remember it in the next loop_."

" _Thank god!_ " Reeve clapped his hands together, and slammed his head against the temple floor. "I can rest easier now...Yo Astley, you got any news on that friend coming over? What was his name..."

" _Jackson_." Gustaf responded instantly, and nodded his head in confirmation. "He's almost here I think. Hope to _god_ our hopes prove to be true and he can fix this mess." Gustaf's frown then deepened, and he glared at Reeve. " _Also stop saying I look like Rick Astley._ "

"...You _do_ though, actually." Mira stated bluntly, much to the poor game-show host's dismay. "You look and act like Thanos, Willy Wonky, and Rick Astley had a baby together."

Gustaf blinked at the remark, and let out a completely exhausted sigh. "... _Sometimes I hate you kids so much_...except you Mira, but you're _getting there_."

Reeve let out an exaggerated gasp, and fake-pouted at Gustaf. " _Father!_ How could you say that to your _own_ children-"

" _I am only 26 years old!_ I'm not ready to be called father _yet_ young man!" Gustaf shrilled out, clutching onto his hair in despair. " _I can already feel the grey hairs growing!_ "

"...Is waiting for this Jackson bastard seriously our _only_ option?" Reeve suddenly changed the subject, surprising Gustaf immensely. The man bit his lip, and stared off to the side "...The only _ethical_ option."

Mira's frown deepened at Gustaf's response. "...What do you mean by " _the only ethical option?_ ""

"...The virus comes from Vanessa's contact lenses...so therefore, logically... _if we manually disconnected Vanessa from the game, the virus's source could possibly disappear._ "

"...The _catch?_ " Reeve demanded an answer, his gaze serious and his eyes filled with dread.

"... _Vanessa could possibly become brain dead_..." Gustaf answered hesitantly. "... _And...well...the thing might not actually work_."

Reeve and Mira glanced at each other for a few moments, and let out a sigh of defeat. Shaking their heads. "Guess we'll have to wait for deranged psycho #2 to hurry over here." Reeve muttered out. Mira nodded in agreement. "We shouldn't sacrifice Vanessa for our own freedom, that's-"

" _ **Do it.**_ "

Gustaf, Reeve, and Mira, turned towards the Demon temple entrance.

They beheld Vanessa herself, clutching her arm behind her back as she attempted to smile, despite the mascara smudged under her red eyes, and her wet, tear dripping cheeks.

" _ **Unplug me from the game.**_ " She hoarsely begged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahahaahahahah-


	34. Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's been wondering about this moment, about what a knowing Vanessa would be like.

For a long while, there was only a deafening, horrid silence between the rememberers and the ease-dropper.

That silence was shattered by Reeve's single, breathy exclamation. "... _Oh shit_."

Vanessa let out a strained giggle, and her fake smile faltered as she wiped the tears out of her eyes. "I..." She began, taking deep breaths in order to calm herself. "If unplugging me from the game gives the rest of you a faster chance then..." She faltered for a moment, before shaking her head resolutely. "Then... _I want you all to take that chance_ -"

Gustaf was quick to shake his head, and cautiously reached out for the pink haired girl. "Vanessa think about this for a moment-"

" _ **I AM THINKING!**_ " she shrieked and flew up to Gustaf's face, sending the host back a few steps. "And...This is _my_ fault! _I deserve whatever comes from unplugging me_ -"

"Vanessa _no you don't_!" Mira pitched in, fear filling her teary eyes. " _You didn't know_ -"

" _I tried to cheat the game Mira! I shouldn't have even ordered those contact lenses in the first place!_ " Vanessa clutched her heart, a few sniffles filling the sterile air. "I...I hurt _all_ of you... _especially_ that Kai guy apparently..."

"...But _still_." Reeve joined in, calm on the outside, filled with panic inside. "You don't deserve to become a vegetable. You're _just_ as much a victim of this situation Vanessa-"

"And so what?!" Vanessa exclaimed, suddenly flying towards Reeve. "I just continue to live in this digital world? Knowing full well that I could possibly help?!" Vanessa shook her head, and glared hard at Reeve. "No, Reeve. I _need_ to do this." Vanessa turned towards Gustaf, her fists shaking in fear. "...T-tell them... _tell them to unplug me from the game. Please._ " She flew towards Gustaf, desperation filling her wide eyes. "This is my _only_ chance! I'll forget all about this next loop! I... _I won't be able to forgive myself unless I do this_."

Gustaf bit his lip, greatly conflicted by the opportunity he was given.

...But...eventually, a verdict was reached.

"...If...if you consent to it... _we'll...unplug you from the game and see what happens._ " He sighed out shakily, much to Vanessa's relief, and the other's horror. "Gustaf!" Shouted Reeve. " _You can't seriously-_ "

"The ethics aren't as...off if Vanessa agrees to the procedure." Gustaf explained somberly. "None of us...should miss this opportunity...you're 100% sure about this?" Gustaf prodded Vanessa, pleading for her to take it back. "There's even a possibility you might _die_ Vanessa. _It's small, but it can happen_."

"... _Of course_." Vanessa hesitantly confirmed with a small nod. Reeve covered his mouth in disbelief, and Mira's whimpers filled the tasteless air of the floating island they stood on. "Vanessa, _please_ don't do this!" Mira begged, tears dripping down her cheeks. "You don't know what will happen! What about your _parents?!_ What about your _friends?!_ _You remember them right?!"_

"I..."Vanessa trailed off, and then turned to Reeve and Vanessa, a wobbly smile forming on her lips as she began to sob out her fear. "... _It's going to be ok_." The pink haired girl tried to reassure both Mira, Reeve, and possibly herself.

In that moment, Vanessa was enveloped in a tight, needy hug from Reeve. Mira was quick to join in, and the three teen's embrace caused a single tear to shed from Gustaf's eye. "...We'll wait until the end of this loop...or until you die." Gustaf concluded, preparing to snap out of existence. "You...have until then...if unplugging you from the game goes sour..."

And then Gustaf was gone in a flash, leaving the teens to their emotional hug, which ended shortly afterwards. "Vanessa this is so _stupid_." Reeve warned, his watery eyes barely making out mascara covered cheeks. "Fredrick's friend is literally _almost_ here. _You don't have to do this_ -"

" _And you trust this Jackson guy, a colleague of the man who put us in this situation, and the one who built the damn virus, with your entire heart and soul?!_ "

Vanessa's challenge silenced Reeve. The telekinetic bit his lip tightly, and pushed away from the hug, storming a ways off and sighing in despair. Vanessa tried to reach out for the boy, but Mira stopped her halfway. "...Don't." Mira warned with a frown. "...Just...give him a bit."

A bit passed, and Reeve suddenly turned back towards the two girls. "...You _better_ be ok Vanessa." He spoke up, glaring at flying girl and expressing his demand with a heartbroken frown. "I won't forgive you if I find you unconscious and hooked to a heart monitor."

The flying girl smiled at the familiar rebuke, and reluctantly nodded in understanding. "...Yeah...I figured you wouldn't..."

"... _Guys!_ There you are!"

Reeve, Vanessa, and Mira turned to the entrance of the temple, beholding Skeet and Adam, the latter of which carried an unconscious Kai. "I've been looking _everywhere_ for you Mira!" Exclaimed Adam, who rushed over to her in worry. "What happened?!"

Mira quickly tried to form an excuse, a sequence of events that would both be believable to the strong boy before her, and would keep the truth locked.

Reeve, an expert at this kind of thing, was quick to give exactly that, saving Mira the trouble. "The three of us scouted around the temple and took out the demon monks before the army came over. Then it was just a matter of taking care of Akuma."

"...Where _is_ Akuma?" Skeet gave in own inquiry. "We can't find him _anywhere_ , did he scamper off?"

Reeve hid his hands behind his back, covered in dried blood from when he pushed Akuma's corpse off the island. In retrospect, he should have used his telekinesis. "Yeah, he fled like a damn coward." He lied.

"...So...uh..." Adam awkwardly gained everyone's attention, and glanced between Reeve, Vanessa, and Skeet. "Who are you guys?"

Vanessa blinked at Adam's question, and glanced at Reeve with a silent inquiry. Reeve quickly shook his head, denying the suggestion. Therefore, excuses were prepared.

"We...don't know." Vanessa began, taking over hesitantly. "We woke up in a bunker without any memories and...have been traveling this strange place since."

" _Yeah!_ " Skeet agreed with his leader, holding out the Ishibo in his hand. "Some talking tree said we needed to give her this stick thingy in order to go home!"

"...Hey, we had a chat with a tree too!" Exclaimed Adam, overjoyed at the new info." She told us the same thing!"

"It's seems we're after the same thing...why don't we work together?" Mira suggested, the phrase having been spoken from her lips before.

Vanessa gently nodded at the idea, and strained a smile towards Adam, extending her hand cautiously. "Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. With our powers combined we'd be able to escape this place in no time! What do you say?"

This time instead of a mischievous glint in the pink haired girl's eyes, or a cocky smirk on her lips, Reeve saw only guilt and somberness deep beneath Vanessa's expression.

Adam eyed Vanessa up and down cautiously, before slowly taking Vanessa's hand and shaking it. "...Yeah, I think that could work...nice to meet you, I'm Adam."

" _Vanessa_..." She spoke slowly. " _Nice to meet you too._ "

Once more 6 teens wandered around the game map, searching for a talking tree to present their quest item with.

Once more these teens encountered a ghost town, and took over the cottage in the distance. beds were claimed, seats were sat on, and 5 teens chatted as lively as they could as a red-head slept in the bottom bunk bed, in the other room.

Eventually, Mira and Skeet were chosen to scout out the perimeter for any danger, and left hurriedly to perform their task. Reeve, meanwhile, had a huge job to do, a job he would have to do every loop from now on when they reached this town. 

Reeve walked out the cottage, saying adios and cracking his knuckles as he prepared perform some bottle smashing in the saloon. Adam himself stood up and placed himself in front of the entrance of the cottage, guarding the building like any natural leader would.

And that was when Vanessa slowly tiptoed out of her seat in front of the table, and towards the room Kai slept in.

Shutting the door softly behind her, she was met with a still tired, just waking Kai. The boy rubbed his eyes, and glanced at Vanessa with his deep eye-bags. Great convenience for her.

"... _Hey_..." She whispered to Kai, and the red-head gazed at her intently, eyeing her every move, her every twitch.

"... _You know don't you_?" He questioned with a hoarse whisper, his throat dry of any alcohol. Vanessa slowly nodded in confirmation, and stared at her shoes awkwardly, waiting for Kai to further the conversation so she can easily transition to the reason she was speaking to the boy in the first place.

"...Come over here..." He prompted, much to the girl's relief, and Vanessa stepped onto the bed Kai sat on, taking a seat in front of him. 

"...Your little plans seem stupid now, don't they?" Kai inquired.

Vanessa nodded once more. "...Yeah... _very_..."

"...Did they tell you all the things you've done?"

Vanessa raised an eyebrow at this question and Kai lowly chuckled. "... _You used me once you know_. Played with my heart and then threw me aside when I wasn't useful to you anymore...not to mention you ordered Reeve to hit Adam with the Ishibo in every loop where you _weren't_ stopped."

Vanessa bit her lips at the info, and nodded her head, even more guilt filling her heart. "...That... _sounds_ like something I'd do to win the game." She reasoned, and then kept silent. She didn't deserve to justify herself in the presence of this clearly ruined boy before her.

She remembered, what felt like hours ago, seeing a young, red-headed teen in Adam's team. Fidgety, childish, and cowardly. Those were her first three impressions before the game started.

This wasn't the same guy before her. This was a completely different person she was conversing with...and knowing she indirectly _caused_ this heartbreaking change...it...made her feel even more disgusting.

"...You're not even going to justify yourself?"

"..."

"... _You're not as bad as I thought_." Kai muttered, a tired, playful smirk on his face. "Lot like _Reeve_ in that sense. _Shattered my expectations_..."

"..."

"... _You have something to say to me don't you?_ "

Vanessa jumped at the accusation, and hesitantly nodded her head, panic settling in her soul. Kai let out a few giggles, and booped Vanessa's nose. "Say it then. I don't bite... _sometimes!_ "

"...Reeve's not telling you everything." Vanessa confessed. 

Kai's smile quickly turned into a bored frown. "I know."

News to Vanessa's ears, but she kept going despite the shock. "Specifically about what caused the virus in the game." She was going to do it. She was going to tell Kai the truth, because this boy, who had supposedly suffered over 50 in game years of pain, deserved that truth.

She didn't care about what he would do to her.

...She probably deserved it anyways.

"... _It_ -"

Before Vanessa could reveal the secret, Kai pressed his finger against Vanessa's lips, silencing her in one swift motion.

"...I _appreciate_ it Vanessa" Kai began, an emotionless gaze piercing her soul. "But I'd rather hear this from _Reeve_...if you don't mind."

"B-but!" Vanessa objected, taking Kai's hand as tears streamed down her cheeks. " _You have to know-_ "

Kai placed another finger over his own mouth, silencing Vanessa once more.

The red-head gazed intently at her, as if pondering his next move, wondering whether he should perform a certain action or not. Eventually his body relaxed in submission, and the words that came next would greatly intrigue Vanessa.

"...Hey..." Kai began, scooting closer to the girl with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "For being _so nice_ as to almost give away the big secret like that, let _me_ tell you a little secret of my own! _One even Reevie doesn't know~_ "

Vanessa hesitantly nodded her head in defeat. It couldn't hurt. Might as well come out of this room with _something_. "...Go ahead, spill the tea." She strained out with a fake smile.

Kai leaned his head close to Vanessa's, cupping his hand by his mouth and whispering the secret into her ear.

...

_For 10 seconds, Vanessa, her eyes wide as saucers as she bit her lip so tightly a small trickle of blood poured out, forgot how to breath._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	35. Withdrawal Symptoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heneedsitheneedsitheneedsitheneedsitheneedsitheneedsitheneedsitheneedsit-

"... _You're not ok, aren't you?_ "

Mira jumped in surprise at Skeet's accusation.

The duo were quite a ways off from the cottage, standing in front of the border to the badlands in the south.

Her and Skeet were halfway done with their scouting mission when Skeet said those words.

"...Wh..." Mira trailed off, and then turned to the suddenly serious Skeet, laughing awkwardly at his spot on statement. "...What are you talking about? _I'm fine!_ At least...as fine as I _can be_ considering the situation..."

"...No..." Skeet denied Mira's lie, and furrowed his eyebrows at the bleary eyed girl before him. "I can tell that something's _definitely_ not right with you right now."

Mira bit her lip, and let out a frustrated sigh. She quickly turned away from Skeet, crossing her arms and biting her lip in panic. "I'm _fine_." She answered once more, but the repetition did not make the lie any more believable to Skeet. "No, you're not." He concluded, and he poked the Scene girl's shoulder, gaining her attention.

"...Come on, spill the beans!" He attempted to persuade Mira. "No judgements here!"

"...If I told you that we were all in a game that's constantly repeating itself...what would you say?" Mira confessed without hesitation.

...She didn't know _why_ she gave the truth to him...just...something about Skeet.

... _She felt like she could trust him with anything_.

Skeet gazed blankly at Mira for quite a while, and Mira's anxiety rose and rose as a result.

"...Like...a time loop? And you're the only one that remembers?" The beanie boy asked, desiring clarification. Mira slowly nodded, and stared out into the endless arid desert in front of them. "One of the ones that remembers...And if I...told you that I've... _died_ before...and have seen _you_ and _everyone else_ die before, because of these loops, what would you say then?"

"...That I..." Skeet trailed off, staring at his empty hand, and making a fist out of it. "...I want to help you escape the loops of course." Skeet awkwardly laughed out in an attempt to lighten the mood, and clutched onto Mira's shoulder in concern. "... _How did you die last time_?"

"... _I stabbed myself in the head._ "

"..."

Mira suddenly felt warmth in her empty hand, and she gently squeezed the hand that suddenly clutched onto her own. The warmth was comforting, and understanding, and no words escaped Skeet's mouth. There was no need for them in those moments.

Eventually, Mira spoke what was on her mind. "...You believe me? Just like _that?_ "

"Why would you lie about something as _bizarre_ as that?" Skeet reasoned, glancing at Mira in pity. "... _What would you gain from such a lie_?"

"..."

"...Who else remembers the loops?"

"...There's Reeve...he's been remembering for two in game years." Skeet didn't ask for clarification on the whole "in game years" thing, he just figured time was different in a video game than in the real world. "...Then _Kai_...he's...been remembering since the beginning and...he's _pretty_ messed up as a result."

"...I bet...so many things can kill you in this place." Skeet stretched his free arm, and gazed at the bright moon above them. "Everything here seems to be out to get us...it all being a video game makes sense."

"...You're incredibly understanding Skeet." Mira strained out a smile, and gave it to the kind, blonde boy before her. "Whoever your dating outside of this game is lucky as _hell_."

" _Eeeeh~_ " Skeet shrugged, a cocky smirk on his face. "Have a feeling I'm a sad single virgin outside the game." He let out a few giggles, and wiggled his eyebrows at the gal next to him. " _Hey_ , maybe that'll change after this! perhaps a _young lass_ I used to know at school will tearfully run up to me confess her undying love!"

The dramatic air in Skeet's make-believe story brightened the mood of the conversation, and Mira was sobbing tears of amusement as she wheezed at the tiny play she witnessed.

For just a few moments, Mira forgot her horrid situation. It was just her and Skeet, and the idea of the future, of something more.

The last bottle shattered onto the saloon floor, and Reeve quickly wiped his hands, and stepped out of the now alcohol-empty saloon.

He would have wanted to take care of everything in the secret club room as well. but considering he could get trapped there, this was the best he could do.

_He wasn't fucking lying when he said he was going to get Kai unhooked from everything._

"...You smell _awful_." Adam commented as Reeve walked through the cottage door. "...Like _booze_... _Reeve did you-_ "

"Did the _exact_ opposite of what you're thinking right now." Reeve answered, pointing at his very clear eyes and stepping into the bedroom. "Sober as a Rooster."

And so was Kai.

_And he was clearly not happy about it._

Kai fidgeted on the bed, scratching his arms and twitching every 10 seconds. The guy was already going through the first stage of withdrawal.

Reeve had never seen it this bad. He's seen Kai a _bit_ fidgety whenever they finally reach the saloon, but Kai always got drunk as a sailor and or high as a kite...more than likely both at the same time, before it could get any worse. Kai usually doesn't go this long without some kind of drug in his system.

And once again, Reeve can't stress this enough, Kai was _clearly_ unhappy about it, with his tight frown and panicking eyes.

"... _R-Reeve!_ " Kai shouted excitedly, and rushed up to him, clinging onto his desperately as hope filled his dilated eyes. " _Reevie! About time!_ I was waiting for you to come back so I can ask you if we could stay in the _saloon_ bedrooms instead!" Kai sweated out his excuse, glancing through the nearby window, at the distant saloon multiple times in a row. "These beds, they aren't so comfy-"

"I smashed all the booze. You're not going to find anything to drink there."

The red-head before him experienced some of the 5 stages of grief in 3 seconds, as his face morphed between shock, then disbelief, then anger, and then desperation. "W-what! _N-no!_ " Kai coughed out, playfully hitting Reeve's shoulder and trying to draw away suspicion from himself, which wasn't working...at all. "Like you said! I have to _quit_ that stuff! I wasn't thinking of sipping a _single_ droplet!"

"...Yeah, _right_." Reeve mumbled to himself, and gently pushed Kai back down on the bed. "You have like...multiple spear wounds on your body, you need to rest _here_ Kai."

"Y-yeah! _Ouch!_ " Kai faked a wince, and clutched onto one of his bandaged thighs. "This pain! It's almost _unbearable!_ If only there was _something_ that could help alleviate the pain like... _I don't know...perhaps morphine-_ "

"You're not getting hard drugs either Kai. I couldn't get rid of the stuff but you bet you're ass I'm asking the others to watch over you and make sure you don't go over to the saloon...or anywhere outside the cottage." Reeve stated once and for all, and prepared to walk out the door. "Also you told me yourself you don't experience pain anymore. _You can come up with a better excuse than that-_ "

Kai jumped out of the bed, and pinned Reeve against the shut bedroom door, pure fear and panic filling Kai's entire shaking body. " _R-R-Reeve pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease I neeeeeeeeeeeed the good shit-_ "

"No you don't." Reeve reasoned, gripping Kai's arms and lowering them down. "Calm down Kai." He spoke softly to the unstable boy before him. "You're going to be ok. Just trust me and let me help you go through this-"

With a sudden strength, almost akin to Adam's, Kai slammed one of Reeve's hands against the door, squeezing his wrist with such ferocity Reeve felt like it could crack at any moment. The heat emitted from Kai's hand slowly burned him.

" **You really think any of you can stop me?** " Kai growled out, seething and panting in near tears. " **I could burn you to all to a crisp easily, just like that little black widow from long ago. Do you want that Reeve? Do you want to test my patience to the breaking point?** "

Reeve gazed blankly...almost in pity, at the rage filled boy.

" _You wouldn't._ " He muttered.

Kai ceased breathing for a few moments, and the room went dead silent.

Reeve's statement was a simple fact.

Kai wouldn't.

What Kai would do instead was grip Reeve by his shirt and slam his lips against theirs, trying with all his might to get Reeve excited, to get their guard down. Reeve's stubbornness shown through though, and instead of melting and dancing along with the haze that was Kai's tongue, he pushed and pinned Kai against the bed, and bit their lip in dominance.

It was only When Kai wrapped his arms around Reeve's neck and began to submit that Reeve pulled away in haste, panting and blushing, and hiding his face away. Kai, ever the shameless one, lifted his leg, and rubbed it against Reeve's strained crotch. " _You're hard~_ " They lilted out seductively, enticing Reeve to continue.

" _No._ " Reeve resolved, pushing himself off the bed, and attempting to shuffle out the bedroom door once more. Kai wrapped his arms around Reeve's waist before the telekinetic could even take his first step. "Come _on_ Reeve! I _know_ you want me-"

"You're mentally unstable, you're not in the right mindset for this kind of thing." Reeve retorted, pulling Kai's arms away from his waist. " _We can't do this anymore-_ "

Kai somehow trailed up like a snake, and twisted Reeve's face towards his own, kissing him once more. Reeve was quick to push the red-head back on the bed, glaring stubbornly at him. "I'm doing this for _your own good_ Kai."

"D-do you..." Kai began to tear up, biting his lip in frustration. "... _Do you not want my body anymore-_ "

" _Stop._ " Reeve snapped, and softly, pressed his lips against Kai's. The chaste kiss lasted only for a few moments, and Reeve pulled away before he was tempted any further. "Of _course_ I do, but until you've seen a therapist and worked through some of your issues? Sex is a _no_ , _do you understand me?_ "

Kai bit his lip, and let out a tiny scream, burying his face into a pillow. "... _Fine!_ " He huffed resolutely as the scream died down. "I'll just go to Adam-"

"Adam thought you were comatose for this loop. Doubt you and him have developed enough of a bond for him to even _consider_ fucking you."

"T-then Skeet-"

"I'm like... _90%_ sure he'll be able to tell you're going through withdrawals, everyone will. It's like dead obvious. You're not getting _any_ dick Kai, face it."

Kai's deathly grip on his pillow loosened as he through it at Reeve's face. " ** _WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!_** " He screeched out, his deranged, desperate eyes pouring out tired, terrified tears. " _ **WHY ARE YOU TAKING AWAY EVERYTHING THAT MAKES ME HAPPY?!**_ "

And then Kai curled up in a ball and collapsed onto the bed, his laughter-sounding sobs filling the bedroom. Reeve sighed, picked up the pillow, and took a seat next to Kai on the bed. He pulled the boy into an embrace, and rubbed his back, shushing every hiccup and whine.

Eventually, Kai's exhaustion pulled through, and the red-head passed out in Reeve's arms.

Reeve was just about to set Kai down and pull a blanket over his frame when Adam cautiously walked in, confused and concerned beyond belief. "...What happened?"

"... _What does it look like?_ " Reeve answered with a subtle glare. Normally Adam would have challenged such a rude response, but the way Reeve stared at him was so authoritative that...Adam decided it was better _not_ to piss the guy off.

"...So...that Kai guy's finally awake huh?" Adam questioned, trying to hide his frustration at Reeve's hostility. The telekinetic nodded. "Yeah, and he's very unstable by the way."

"Is...that why I heard screaming?"

"Yeah, dude snapped and then started balling." Reeve at least told the truth with that statement, and he sighed in exhaustion. He felt like he had just survived a toddler's meltdown. "But you see why we should keep an eye on him right? Sure, we don't know the guy but he's stuck in this place just like we are."

"Yeah, Yeah, of course." Adam nodded in agreement, a small, understanding smile on his face. "Thanks for telling me. I'll let the others know." And the leader left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Reeve sighed, and stared at his bare hands, only minutes ago having been covered in Akuma's dried blood.

... _Since when did he become such a natural at lying?_

...He really _has_ changed, huh? 

For _better_ or for _worse_ , Reeve couldn't decide.

...

A sudden realization graced Reeve's mind.

_...Where was Vanessa?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^v^


	36. Shadow of a Former Self

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only things left are regrets.

Mira and Skeet's lively conversation, as they wandered back towards the cottage, came to a screeching halt when they heard strange noises coming from the saloon.

The sounds of fists colliding with wood, and of screams begging for an escape.

Mira was rushing inside in seconds, Skeet shortly right behind her.

The saloon was littered with shattered bottles, once filled with wine and beer. only one bottle remained in the empty shelves...the bottle that activated the secret entrance to the club down below.

Mira had never gone down there, to the underground club. She knew it existed, however. Kai constantly mentioned it in the loop after she stabbed herself, before they ran into Reeve's team. Before that whole...incident.

She knew that there was no way of opening the entrance from the inside.

And, hearing what sounded to be...Vanessa's voice? Coming from the same wall the shelves were propped up against. Mira put two and two together. Vanessa must have gotten trapped in the club room.

Why Vanessa was even down there in the _first place_ , Mira would wonder about later. For now, it was _probably_ a good idea to free the poor girl first.

And Mira did, she sprinted towards the last bottle in the shelves, and pulled it. The entrance was opened, and Vanessa came flying out, landing in a corner and curling up into a panting ball.

She looked _horrible_. Absolutely _horrible_. Her hair was messy, and sticking in several different directions, and when Mira called for her, the pink haired girl's eyes were revealed to be severely dilated and veiny.

"...Vanessa?!" Skeet called out, concerned beyond relief about his friend. He rushed towards her, and helped her to her feet. "Vanessa you look... _horrible_...what happened?" Mira tried to coax out an answer from the seemingly delirious girl.

Mira's coaxing failed. "I-I don't know." Vanessa answered, staring at her shaking hands and trying to breath in and out in an attempt to calm herself. "I-I don't know what's going on- _Mira?! What's going on-_ "

" _Woah Vanessa!_ " Skeet soothed, rubbing the distressed mess's back. "Calm down, _it's OK._ "

Mira bit her lip in confusion. She had no idea what was wrong with Vanessa right now, she seemed to almost be in hysterics.

"...Reeve might know what's up with her." Mira suggested, and gently coaxed Vanessa to follow her. "Come here Vanessa, it's OK! You're safe! We're going to Reeve OK?"

Like a lost little girl, Vanessa slowly followed the beckoning Skeet and Mira, back towards the cottage. Adam was waiting for them by the doorway.

"Hey!" He called out, waving for them and presenting his news. "Kai finally woke up-"

"Now's not the time Adam!" Mira interrupted Adam's story, pushing past him and gently pushing Vanessa down in one of the table chairs. "Is Reeve here?"

Coincidentally, in that moment, Reeve slammed the door open, panic in his eyes as he observed his surroundings. "Adam where's Vanes-"

When Vanessa was revealed to be right in front of the concern Reeve, his panic eased down. Now he was just worried about the poor girl before him. "...Good...there you are...what _happened_ to you Vanessa?"

"We freed her from the saloon wall." Skeet answered. Mira would have chipped in and explained in better detail, but Reeve, his face now hardened, instantly raised his hand, silencing the room.

 _He knew_.

 _He knew what was wrong with Vanessa now_.

"...What color was the bag Vanessa?" he questioned the poor girl, much to Skeet, Adam, and Mira's confusion. Especially Vanessa's confusion as first. "W..." She trailed off, shaking and letting out a scared sob. "W-ha-"

" _What color was the bag._ " Reeve repeated himself more firmly, his frown firmly set. "I can't determine if you'll be OK unless you tell me this Vanessa."

"...I...t-there were...blue and yellow, t-two of them." Vanessa began to stutter out her mismatched answer. Reeve covering his mouth and groaned in response.

"...R...Reeve, what's wrong with her?" Mira begged for an answer. The boys next to her were just as concern for Vanessa's well-being.

"She took a speedball." Reeve answered, shaking his head as his heartbroken eyes gazed at the crowd before him. "AKA, _she took Cocaine and Heroin simultaneously_."

Adam blinked at the answer, and his face slowly went from confused to absolutely horrified. " **She _what?!_** " He shrilled out. " ** _There's drugs in this place?!_** "

"Oh _god_..." Mira moaned out, covering her eyes and whining in disbelief. "Oh god no _wonder_ she's so out of it...Reeve...is she going to...?"

"Depends on how much she took." Reeve answered, and turned back to the shaking girl before him. "How much did you take?"

"I-I don't-"

"Did you take the entire two bags?"

Vanessa bit her lip, and after a few moments of thought, slowly shook her head.

"Ok so you're not _completely_ doomed. Did you take over half?"

Vanessa blinked at the question, and then let out a frustrated whine, covering her ears and burying her head into her knees. "I-I don't _like_ these questions!" She stuttered out, like a confused, small toddler. " _I don't like this! I don't like this anymore!_ "

The 4 teens stared somberly at the pink haired girl before them, who was in the middle of having a meltdown.

Reeve however, did not let this reaction deter him from getting more info. "...How did you find the club-"

 _A scream_.

_A frantic, deranged scream came from the cottage bedroom, alerting the 5 teens._

Kai woke up in an empty clearing, a soft blanket covering his body.

The world was swirling and twirling, as icicles stuck out of the windows and tree branches grew out of the walls. Soft, green grass was under his feat, and a patches of dry desert were in the corners. Where was he ? He can't tell...

The sky above was a psychedelic mess of every possible color of the sky, from bright blues to dark blacks, from vivid purples to soft pinks, from gentle yellows to colorful oranges. What time was it again? He doesn't remember...

He felt his panic slowly rise, and he jumped off of the slabs of familiar grey concrete he sat on, abnormally soft and comfortable. He paced around the area, rubbing his hands against the invisible wall that trapped him. Where was everyone? He can't find them...

Giving up on finding and excite out of this strange place, Kai scampered back to the grey slabs, and wrapped his blanket around him. He began to hyperventilate, trying to inhale as much of the scarce air around him as he could.

Sometimes he thought he heard someone mutter something in the distance, but he couldn't determine which direction it was coming from.

He was lonely, and scared, he wished _someone_ was with him right now...

"...Been a while."

Kai jumped in surprise, and glanced behind him.

He only needed a few seconds before he knew who it was.

He turned away, letting out a shaky sigh, and curling up into a fetal position. He said he was lonely...but he didn't want to be ridiculed by...them.

"... _Yeah_." Kai strained out, picking at his fingernails. "Where've _you_ been for the past two years?"

"Ah, you know! Dormant." The figure behind him muttered, skipping and standing on the slab next to him, and smirking at him in glee. "That Reeve guy _never_ really lets you think about just how horrible you are. He's always distracting you. I don't like him!"

" _Damn_ , that _fucking_ sucks for you." Kai lilted out sarcastically, and leaned his head on one of his hands, waiting for this ghost next to him to finish their usual rant and leave him alone. "Why're you here _right now_ of all times? You usually only show up when I'm like... _really_ fucking high."

"I mean...you're the _most sober_ you've been in _decades_ , _that's_ a huge accomplishment! I _of course_ had to congratulate you for performing the first step in becoming an actually decent human being!" The figure next to Kai began to play with his red-hair, and re-adjusted the blue and white shirt he wore. " _Not that it matters though_. You'll _never_ be _me_ again. _I'm just a phantom! Your old shadow!_ "

Kai turned to stare at his old, hopeful, and healthy looking self, and let out a childish huff. "I _hate_ you."

"Dwaaa~ I hate you too!" the shadow Kai replied, leaning against his broken self's shoulder and nuzzling his neck. "You're _everything_ I never wanted to become! A delusional, even _more_ idiotic freak!"

"So what did I do _this time_ to piss you off? Did I breath too much?" Kai muttered out, ignoring the annoyingly soft feeling of his old, non-ragged hair. The other Kai giggled, and punched him gently in the shoulder. "I mean, considering your _current_ state? I'll go easy on you this time and just remind you that you're a piece of shit. Not only that but this entire quitting drugs thing isn't even your idea. It's Reeve's! He's the one forcing you to become better!" The younger Kai slid off the concrete slab, and stood his ground directly in front of his other self. "How pathetic are you? To have to be forcefully cured of your own deranged madness-"

" _It's not my fault I'm like this._ " Kai attempted to justify himself, but his sane self instantly shushed him, placing a finger over his mouth. "So what? Want me to bring up _that_ again? I mean, it's why I exist after all!" The younger Kai glared at him in disappointment, a mocking smile on his lips. "That anger was _very_ much your own. All of that, all of what you did was _you_. You're a _murderer_."

"You are too." Kai hissed out, shaking in fury at the accusation, which although was true, was almost too much to bear. " _You're me-_ "

" _No I'm not._ " The red-headed boy before him reasoned, crouching down and staring into Kai's veiny, hollow eyes. "I stopped being you a _long_ time ago. I have _nothing_ to do with what you've done." The shadow blinked his bright, clear-minded eyes.

"...What do you want from me?" Kai mumbled in defeat. He was so...so...so tired of this annoying brat before him, along with his overly colorful surroundings. His eyes were strained to the max.

A brief silence filled the strange world these two boys rested on.

A pair of hands surrounded Kai's neck, and the next thing he knew, his phantom was choking the life out of him, crushing his body against the bed textured concrete.

" **I want you to stop breathing.** " Answered his old self.

Kai wanted to stop breathing too.

But...the twirling world that spun around his eyes and brightened in saturation, along with the screams of those he had heard suffer before, slowly increasing in volume, made the experience terrifying.

_He wanted it to stop! He was so scared!_

He scratched his shadow's hands in an attempt to free himself, but it proved to be futile, and the phantom refused to show him mercy. Therefore he screamed with all his might. Screamed as loud as he could. His throat was on fire, hot and uncomfortable, but he couldn't hear himself scream. _He couldn't hear anything but the screams of everyone else. Of Adam, Mira, Skeet, Vanessa, Reeve-_

_Reeve._

_Reeve._

_Reeve was screaming at him._

_Reeve was screaming in worry, begging for him to be OK._

_Warmth._

_Reeve was hugging him._

The world no longer was colorful. All he saw was dark dull browns and greys that were the cottage.

Glancing to the side, he saw Adam, Mira, and a thoroughly tanked Vanessa near the entrance to the bedroom he was inside. They gazed at him wide-eyed with shock and worry.

Kai's head felt woozy, and his neck felt wet for some reason.

"...ai...Kai!" Reeve shouted, gaining the distracted red-head's attention. " _Can you hear me?!_ "

He slowly nodded a yes in confirmation, and raised his bloodied hands towards his ne...

... _When did his hands get bloody?_

Kai gently poked his neck, much to Reeve's supposed disapproval, who quickly pulled his hand away and turned to the others in panic. " _Where's the first aid kit?!_ " Reeve demanded. " _We need to wrap his neck fast!_ "

"...Reeve...what's going on?" He begged for an answer. He didn't like not knowing things. He wasn't used to unfamiliarity...the one thing he also ironically craves for by wishing for an escape from the loops...huh-

"Kai... _you scratched your neck open._ " Reeve gently explained, interrupting Kai from his thoughts. Pushing them down on the bed, Reeve teared off one of his sleeves with his telekinesis and pressed the fabric against Kai's neck wound. "We're going to fix it, ok? You're going to be ok-"

"No that's..." Kai trailed off, confused beyond relief. " _That's not what..._ "

_...What was real and what wasn't?_

As long as Kai had a joint in one hand and a shot in the other, he was able to tell.

Now...without those comfort items, those things that kept at bay his insanity... _he couldn't tell what was real anymore._

" _He pities you_."

Kai glanced to the side, to see the shadow of his former self, staring at him as if he was nothing more than a pathetic mutt. "You really think he loves something like _you_? Don't make me _laugh_. _Before all this he hated your guts, and he still does deep down_."

"I know."

"At least when you whored around and gave him your body he had _some_ understandable reason to stay. Now you're too pathetic to him to even _bother_ fucking. He's just here with you because of obligation. _What kind of "fine piece of ass" are you now slut?_ "

"Nothing."

" _Exactly! You're nothing! I may be dead, but you're the true phantom! An imposter! A parasite!_ _I_ should be out there having fun with my friends! But now _you're_ here, wasting your soul away while _I_ stand here and watch you ruin _everything!_ " The "true" Kai seethed, tears brimming in his eyes as he clenched his fist. " ** _When you leave this game you better kill yourself! I don't want my parents to see this damn corpse I've become!_** "

" _I will-_ "

"Kai.. _.who are you talking to?_ "

Kai blinked, and turned to the concerned, wide eyed Reeve. The phantom was gone in that instant, and Kai was greatly relieved.

"...No one _nice._ " Kai muttered an answer, and clutched onto Reeve's hand, giving the telekinetic a begging gaze. "...Could you... _talk_ please? About _anything_ really..."

Reeve gazed at him in worry, before squeezing the hand they were given. a small smile formed on their face, and they began to tell Kai all that had happened since Kai had passed out. Then he began to tell them about all of the updates Gustaf gave Reeve in the past two years.

Reeve was leaving out details.

Kai knew this very well.

He didn't say anything about it.

He can wait.

After all, he's been stuck here for over 50 in game years, and he's just _now_ possibly going to leave this place.

_How more patient could someone get?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to be two chapters but they turned out really short. So I combined them.
> 
> So anyways whoop-dee-doop new horrible chapter-


	37. Rooftop Chattering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He remembered one time he woke up in the bunker again, without having ever dying. Took him a few loops to realize he overdosed. That's how peaceful it was sometimes.

By the time Kai's neck was fully bandaged, he had fallen asleep once more in exhaustion. Tremors filled his body however, and he shook in his slumber.

It was difficult for Reeve to see Kai like this.

Kai always knew what to do. He was never truly distressed, and could handle pretty much _every_ situation. Reeve relied on Kai's strength way more than he'd like to admit... _even if that strength was apparently as fragile as a porcelain plate balanced on a 1 centimeter diameter stick if Kai didn't have his booze_.

Seeing Kai _this_ vulnerable and helpless, it was bizarre, strange, and most of all it was _heartbreaking_ , because he _cared_ about Kai _obviously_.

There was nothing Reeve could do though, really. He could technically give up and let the guy have his morphine, but that would just make things worse. He just needs to persevere a little longer. The withdrawals will dissipate eventually, and then Kai will be clean from his coping mechanisms.

...Although...if _this_ is what a completely sober Kai is capable of doing to himself, in a random bout of madness Reeve had never witnessed before...Reeve was _scared shitless_ of the future.

The telekinetic slowly closed the bedroom door behind him, and turned to face the crowd in the cottage. Adam was sitting comfortably in a chair, crossing his arms and waiting for an explanation on the situation he'd been asking for that would never come. _Reeve doesn't want to see another fucking Adam noose right now. He's already going through shit_.

Mira was close by the door, biting her nails in worry. "...He's fine, _for now_." Reeve reassured, and handed the first aid kit to the mermaid. She let out a sigh of relief, and stared at him with an imploring gaze, begging silently with a question Reeve could read. "No, let him rest." He whispered. and observed his surroundings. "Where the fuck did Vanessa and Skeet go?"

"On the roof. Skeet thought some fresh air might do her good." Mira answered, coercing Reeve to follow her outside and look. Adam tried to once more ask about what was going on, what everyone was hiding, but they basically ignored him, and the natural leader crossed his arms and huffed in frustration. Once more he was left on guard duty.

Sure enough, like Mira said, Skeet and Vanessa were relaxing on the rough...well, more like Skeet was relaxing on the roof, and comforting an incredibly fidgety and distressed Vanessa, who rocked back and forth in a fetal position. She was having a bad trip, that was for sure.

"How did you two get up _there?!_ " Reeve called out, and Skeet jerked his head towards a ladder he likely stole from one of the nearby buildings, propped up to the roof. _Figures._

Reeve and Mira climbed up this ladder to join Skeet and Vanessa, taking a seat along the edge, Mira next to Skeet, and Reeve next to Vanessa. "...So Vanessa, what have we learned about drugs?"

"T-they are... _very very very_ bad." Vanessa half mumbled, half whined out, rubbing her temples and shutting her eyes tight. Reeve nodded in approval, and rubbed the poor girl's back. " _Correct._ "

"Says the guy that, according to _Kai_ anyways, watched as he took every single type of drug at once as an experiment and then overdosed." Mira lilted out harshly, glaring daggers at Reeve. "And considering what's been going on with Kai lately, _is letting it happen again._ "

"Oh yeah, I remember _that_." Reeve commented, letting out a tired sigh. "I was like, _there's no way you'd make it man_. He then proceeded to do it anyways and lasted about five minutes when he was done. I was _almost_ impressed, thought he'd die _way_ before he finished them all." Reeve's frown deepened, as he glanced at Mira with confusion. "...Wait, _when did Kai tell you that?_ "

"He told me a _lot_ of things I wish I never heard about in the loop after I stabbed myself in the head." Mira confessed, her eyes almost dazed as she recalled the...interesting quotes from the guy. "...He told me that you guys tried bondage once, like, really _tight_ bondage. I haven't gotten the image out of my head since."

"We...had a _lot_ of time on our hands." Reeve confirmed the rumor, picking at his nails as an embarrassed blush formed on his face. That was a night that Reeve enjoyed way more than he'd care to admit, even to Kai. "But uh...Kai's not on drugs right now, he's actually going through withdrawal symptoms."

"What?!" Mira squeaked in disbelief. Already the idea of Kai voluntarily choosing to discard his wine and cocaine was...well, _pigs better be flying right now_. "He's...quitting the _"good stuff?"_ " Mira air quoted.

"I'm _making_ him quit the good stuff."

Mira almost sighed in relief. That was much more like it. Looks like the pigs are staying on land after all.

"...The three of you have..." Skeet chipped in on the conversation he was doomed to hear. "... _Been busy with some stuff huh?_ "

" _No fucking shit_." Reeve muttered in agreement. glancing at Vanessa, who seemed to be a lot calmer, overhearing this light chatter filled with topics of debauchery and death. "...God, I kind of want a drink right now but then Kai will complain about how it's not fair and I _really_ don't want that. Wish there was like kool-aid here or something. I don't even need alcohol I just need _a drink_."

" _Mood_." Mira mumbled her agreement, rubbing her hand against her face. "... _Look at us_. Kai literally just snapped and scratched his neck open and here we are, chatting a storm like it's the 1950s and we're conversing across our lawns.

"I don't think people from the 1950s casually talked about stuff like _bondage kinks_...or o _verdosing_." Skeet deadpanned, glancing at Reeve and Mira back and forth. "Frankly, I am concerned for _both_ of you guys."

"You _should_ be." Reeve deadpanned his reply, stretching his arms as he stared at the shining stars up above the digital sky. "We are... _not_ ok. We've seen _some stuff_ man."

"...What's the most scarring thing you've ever seen?" Mira reluctantly questioned Reeve. "...Asking so I can avoid it myself in the future."

"Oh it's a tie between Adam killing himself for the first time and seeing all of your dismembered bodies in the shuttle." Reeve lilted out. "Those are things I _wish_ I could never see again."

Skeet's lips thinned at this remark, and he decided to change the subject. "...So uh...based on what I'm hearing, you and Kai are... _fucking_ apparently?"

"We _were_." Reeve corrected, biting his lip and shrugging. "I'm not screwing him _anymore_ though, not until we get out of here and he gets a therapist. God..." Reeve shook his head, "I don't know if I even _could_ right now, now that the truth's out and I know he doesn't feel pain or pleasure it's gonna feel like fucking a breathing sex doll."

"Did he try to seduce you yet?" Mira couldn't help but ask. It seemed like a Kai kind of thing to do, and sure enough, she wasn't surprised when Reeve vigorously nodded his head. "Oh yeah. It took a lot of my willpower to resist honestly." Reeve tapped his fingers impatiently along the roof. "He knows how to get under my skin."

"...So like...are you horny right now?" Skeet hesitantly asked, his curiosity getting to the better of him. Reeve almost glared at the blonde next to him. " **...Yes.** " He answered bluntly. " _I would have gotten my dick sucked twice by now._ "

"I'm actually glad about this development, honestly." Mira chipped in, relief filling her eyes. "...You and Kai are... _loud_. _Especially_ Kai. _Mostly_ Kai."

Skeet snorted at Mira's comment. "So like...are you two _dating_ or...?" The blonde turned back to Reeve, who widened his eyes, unprepared for that specific question. "...It's... _complicated_." Reeve answered, and Skeet decided to leave it at that. "...We should _probably_ tell _Adam_ about all this." He reasoned.

" _No way_." Mira muttered. " _Nuh-uh_." Reeve shook his head. "I don't know about you Skeet but I do _not_ want to see Adam with slits on his wrists, laying in a bathtub.

"...Holy _shit_." Skeet muttered, beyond words at what he just heard. Mira however was graced with a realization. "...I mean... _all of us_ know about the loops though?" Mira reasoned. "Couldn't we like... _all_ keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't do anything drastic?"

" _Like commit the forever face-plant apparently?_ " Skeet added. "I mean, I _think_ that could work. What about you Reeve?"

Reeve was done with this topic. "Yeah, sure, _whatever_." He agreed nonchalantly. And a temporary silence filled the night air.

"...H-hey..." Vanessa suddenly called out softly, appearing much more calm and relaxed. "...If you weren't in this game loop... _what would you want to be?_ "

...

The question certainly silenced the 4 for a moment.

"...That's kind of hard to answer." Mira giggled out awkwardly. "I mean, we don't have any memories about ourselves, about who we are...but well, I kind of want to be in some sort of career that involves animals. Like a zookeeper, or a vet."

"Marine biologist?" Skeet suggested, and Mira clapped her hands together excitedly at the prospect. "Yeah! That's _perfect_ actually! Fits my other power too! What about you Skeet?"

"I mean, despite what happened here? I wanna be a gamer. Maybe a twitch streamer?"

"I don't know if I'd ever want to look at a video game again after _this_." Reeve commented on Skeet's choice with a subtle frown. "Or at least, look at this _"The Hollow"_ game the same way...I kind of want to be an artist." Reeve confessed. "I've been drawing stuff a lot lately, helps me cope somewhat."

"You should show me some of your stuff sometime!" Mira smiled widely at Reeve. "I actually really love art as well! Would have been one of my other options!"

"It's not the _best_ , but alright." Reeve lilted out, a somewhat lively smile on his face. The air around them was cheering up, filling them with a small sense of joy and nostalgia.

The game, and the loops, it flew to the back of everyone's head.

"What do you want to be Vanessa?" questioned Skeet. Vanessa let out a tiny yawn, seemingly sleepy. "...I wanna be an actress..." She confessed, leaning her body against Reeve, who jumped at the contact, but did not push her off in the slightest. He welcomed the contact. 

This loop would, after all, be the last time he would ever see Vanessa.

"Yeah, that'd fit you well." Reeve reasoned, a light giggle escaping his throat.

"I just..." Vanessa began, as she stared out at the shining, bright sky. Seeing the stars that were noticed, that were appreciated if just for a moment. "...I have a lot of brothers and sisters, all of who have their _thing_ , you know? My big brother is good at sports. He's the best football player in his team. My little sister's good at science. She's planning on skipping a few grades to reach that masters degree in chemistry..." Vanessa trailed off, her eyes half-lidded, and her frown somber. "...But me? I'm pretty average. Nothing special. My parents recognize that I guess. They don't pay attention to me much, or congratulate me as much in anything I do...maybe if I'm famous they'll... _recognize me as someone special_."

...

"...Ok was anyone going to tell me that _Vanessa's the only one that has her memories of before the game?_ " Skeet bluntly expressed his shock and confusion. "Or was I just supposed to figure that out by listening to _that_ sad story?"

"It's...a _long_ story Skeet. I'll explain it to you later." Mira reassured, patting Skeet's back. Vanessa let out a soft giggle at Skeet's reaction. "But I mean, with friends like _you_ , maybe I don't need to be special for them." Vanessa reasoned, a calm, accepting smile on her face. "I still kind of want to be an actor though. I...just like... _stories_..."

"...Yeah...me too." Reeve agreed, as the 4 teens witnessed the sun slowly rise up from the sky. "Preferably the ones that have _happy_ endings." Skeet chipped in, swinging his legs back and forth along the roof. "Hope that's what _this mess_ turns into."

"Yeah...I hope so too." Mira concluded, and for a while, the 3 simply watched the sunrise, watch as purples and pinks and blues bloomed across the sky, and darkened the stars. This, this was the only beauty in this dangerous hell-scape.

"...Hey...Vanessa." Reeve suddenly began, keeping his eyes on the moving artwork before him. He needed an answer to the question still burning in his mind. "How did you find the club room?"

...

...

...

"...Vanessa?" He called out softly, turning to face the girl leaning on his shoulder. "...V... _Vanessa?_ "

...

Vanessa was silent, her skin pale, and her breath nonexistent.

**Vanessa was dead.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Started writing this chapter. Caught a cold and felt like crap. Finished it anyways (and it's probably shorter than most of the other chapters). Bone appa teeth.


	38. Don't stop Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can't stop...dancing...

_He should have fucking known._

_It was so damn obvious, really._ Vanessa's previous panic followed shortly by seeming drowsiness. He should have _noticed._

But he _didn't._

Of course, even if he _did_ he wouldn't have been able to do anything. There's no real medical supplies in this game, and Reeve's no damn doctor. To put in it Kai's words one time, the only PHD he has is a "pretty huge dick."

But he _wished_ he had noticed, so he could have been emotionally prepared for this.

Instead, here he was, a few tears streaming down his cheeks as Mira sobbed and screamed out Vanessa's name, cradling her lifeless body. Skeet paced back and forth along the roof. In near tears and repeating over and over under his breath that "This couldn't be happening."

It _was_ happening.

_Vanessa was dead. Overdosed._

Normally Reeve wouldn't have shed a single tear, he was used to this stuff, used to death. But, staring at Vanessa's peaceful, still corpse, Reeve was struck with _a realization_. _A realization_ that the moment before might have been the last time he'd see Vanessa alive for a while.

...God, it might have been the last time he'd ever see Vanessa alive... _period_.

And he _still_ couldn't comprehend the latter, that's why he was crying. He was sad sure, but most importantly his _entire world view_ , the one that developed over the course of living in this hell-hole, _was being shattered_.

_He always saw people alive after they die._

**It wasn't going to be like that this time.**

_Vanessa would be gone. Either for a while or forever._

And for the first time in years Reeve was reminded of what death was truly _supposed_ to be. **Nothing.** You aren't _supposed_ to get second chances. You _die_ and that's _that_. That's _it_. _The curtain calls._

But the curtain _never_ called on Reeve's deaths. He just kept on dancing, and he continues to keep on dancing...

**...So what happens when the curtain calls and he finally stops dancing?**

...Maybe Kai would be excited at the prospect but...that thought, the thought of actual permanent death... _it terrified the shit out of Reeve._

"G-guys! What's going on?!" Exclaimed a nosy Adam, who climbed up the nearby ladder to the roof, and was greeted with a mess of a scene. "...O-oh _god_ is Vanessa-"

"Vanessa's fucking _dead._ " Choked out Skeet, and Adam's eyes widened in shock. He stepped over towards Mira, and felt the girl's pulse in her wrist. Nothing. "...Oh...oh my god." Muttered Adam, nearly covering his mouth in grief. "...D-did she...?"

" _Overdosed_." Answered a shaken Reeve, who turned his face away from the other's view. "She just...fell asleep..."

"...W-well..." Adam inhaled the suddenly stale air, and wiped away the tears that dripped down his cheeks. "...At least she died peacefully-"

All of a sudden, good old Gustaf himself snapped into existence right in front of the kids. Nearly giving each of them a heart attack.

The game show host covered his mouth, a dazed and grief filled aurora surrounding him. "...So uh..." He began, clearing his throat and taking off his glasses. "Do as I say, not as a do. Swearing is very informal and inappropriate but uh... _Holy motherfucking shit._ "

" _That's_ an understatement!" Exclaimed Reeve hoarsely, and he tried to steady his breathing. He didn't succeed.

"R-Reeve? What's wrong, you usually don't react to death like this?" Questioned a concerned Mira, and confusing poor oblivious Adam. " _What?!_ " He begged for context.

"I'm _fine_ I just..." Reeve slowly stood up from the roof, rubbing his temples and trying to clear out the 20,000 fears clouding his head. So many fears that he had forgotten about. Fears of decay, fears of falling, fears of sharp objects, fears of not being able to breath. "T-this is...G-Gustaf are you actually going to unplug Vanessa from the game?" Adam's eyebrows furrowed in complete confusion at Reeve's question. Unplug from the what?!

"...Yeah." Gustaf finalized, letting out a somber sigh. "It's...worth a shot."

_Reeve hates this, he hates this so much._

What Vanessa had done to herself, and what she had agreed to do. It was making Reeve remember about mortality, _and he doesn't fucking like it._

"That's...actually why I'm here." Gustaf continued, straightening his red jacket. "To sort of warn you before we unplug her. She's going to disintegrate into red pixels when we do so." Gustaf shrugged, and let out a small sigh, preparing to snap away. "Just didn't want you guys to start freaking out when it happens. Well, s-"

" _Wait!_ " Mira begged for Gustaf's attention, which was received reluctantly. "...Yeah?" They could all tell that Gustaf wanted to get out of here as fast as possible. He looked like he was going to break down at any second.

"...Y...you said the team watches us with camera screens, yes?" Inquired Mira. When Gustaf nodded in confirmation, she continued. "So do you know how she found the club room?"

Reeve silently thanked Mira for her question. He almost forgot about it while in the middle of his crisis.

...Gustaf...seemed almost reluctant to answer.

But, likely because he figured it was moral to tell the truth, he hesitantly confessed. "...I don't...really know how to say this but..." He began. "Vanessa entered the saloon almost _immediately_ after Reeve left it and opened the secret entrance... _almost as if she knew of its existence_."

Mira, Reeve, and even Skeet, even though he had no idea what Gustaf was talking about, widened their eyes in shock at the revelation.

"...B...but _how?!_ " Mira demanded an answer. " _I_ never told her about it! _Reeve_ never told her about it! There's _no possible way_ she could have-"

**"She was in Kai's room."**

Silence.

 _Dead_ silence.

Dead silence from Reeve especially, who's mortality crisis screeched to a halt from those words.

Gustaf shook his head, and rubbed his temples. "...She...talked with Kai in the bedroom for a bit. I don't know _what_ they talked about. Kai is very subtle in letting us know when he wants a conversation to be private. When he glares at the cameras for a few seconds we mute them." Gustaf shakily shrugged his shoulders. "...B...but... _Vanessa went directly into the club room after that._ "

Mira covered her mouth in shock. Skeet muttered a small "...Damn..." under his mouth. Adam continued to helplessly listen with no context given.

Reeve abruptly stomped away from the others, down the ladder, and into the cottage.

...Mira wasn't surprised in the slightest, really.

"...Is there anything else you guys need?" Gustaf reluctantly questioned, even though it was clear he wanted to leave, get this process over with, and then probably cry his eyes out. Mira was merciful on the poor man. "...No Gustaf...you can leave and disconnect her now."

Gustaf didn't wait a single second, he was gone in an instant, and shortly afterwards, Mira felt the weight that was Vanessa's body slowly alleviate. She looked down to see the corpse in her arm, slowly pixelating into nothing.

She gripped tightly onto Vanessa's hand, and her tears dripped down their face. Only a few seconds later, there was no hand to grip, and the tears spattered on the roof.

Vanessa was gone.

Reeve slammed open the bedroom door, where Kai slept somewhat soundly, besides the small murmurings and tremors.

" **DID YOU TELL VANESSA ABOUT THE CLUB ROOM?!** " He screamed out, startlingly the red-head out of his nightmare. Kai barely processed Reeve's question, based on his small frown and half-lidded eyes; therefore he screamed it louder.

"... _Yes._ " Kai eventually answered. For once he didn't ask Reeve why they were asking the question, why they would assume such a thing, how they knew he talked to Vanessa, none of that bullshit.

Kai told it to him straight.

Reeve slammed the door behind him, and stomped towards Kai, grabbing him by the shirt and holding him up in rage. This fucking dipshit! This goddamn fucking asshole! "Do you...have _any_ idea what you've done?!" Reeve demanded an answer. Kai gave it with a small head shake.

" _ **VANESSA'S FUCKING DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!**_ " He explained, tears streaming down his cheeks, and Kai continued to stare at him with those half-lidded eyes and emotionless frown. 

"... _And?_ "

Reeve hitched at the response. That deadpanned response, filled with absolutely no remorse or dread. Almost...simple confusion, bewilderment.

"...You'll see her again. _What's wrong with you?_ "

...

"...What did you two talk about?" Reeve questioned calmly, setting Kai back down on the bed, and collapsing onto it himself. God, _why?_ He can't even get _that mad_ at Kai for leading Vanessa to her death. He didn't know this was Vanessa's last run in the game.

_He hates this._

"...Mh... _stuff._ " Kai answered, curling up into a fetal position, and staring at Reeve's vulnerable form. "Nothing that's _your_ business. Vanessa started talking about how stressed out she was from the situation and I told her about the club room. Recommended a speedball for her. "Take as much as you possibly can and enjoy the ride before death." Was what I said."

Reeve let out an exhausted sigh, and covered his face with his hands. "...Kai...oh my _god._ "

" _What?_ " exclaimed Kai teasingly, rolling on top of Reeve's body; essentially pinning the telekinetic on the bed. "Sure, it's _my_ fault but it doesn't matter in the long run. Like I said, _you'll see her again~_ "

 _No he fucking wont_.

He wanted to say that but...then Kai would ask questions. And then Reeve would have to confess to Kai about her involvement in the game.

...Wait... _actually_...

...If...Vanessa was basically safe from Kai's wrath now...

**...Could Reeve finally tell him the tru-**

Kai's lips suddenly pressed fervently against his own, and Reeve laid still on the bed, slowly processing kai's tongue swirling around his mouth.

_...Jesus Christ, he swears he can't have a normal conversation with Kai without them throwing themselves on him._

He was quick to push Kai away, once again, for what felt like the 10th time already. "Kai how many times do I have to say this-"

"It's because you know I don't feel pleasure or pain right?" Kai accused, nipping Reeve's ear, much to the poor telekinetic's arousal. " _Don't lie please._ "

"... _Part_ of the reason actually." Reeve admitted, shivering as Kai trailed his fingers from his collarbone, all the way to near his crotch, and then being so damn teasing as to ignore that now strained place, and kiss Reeve on the lips once more, more passionately. "I just...I don't know if I'd be able to enjoy such one-sided sex. I want _you_ to feel good _too-_ "

"I _do_ feel good!" Kai countered, lifting his shirt up with his mouth and slowly unbuckling his pants. He made it a show for Reeve, as he slowly pulled the down and revealed the slender legs they secretly missed so much. "Just in my _own_ way."

"Yeah, in a really _unhealthy_ way! Which is the _second_ reason why I refuse to do this stuff with you!" Reeve retorted, his panic slowly growing as Kai threw his pants across the floor, and pulled his shirt back down. Kai trailed his finger along Reeve's collarbone again, and was this time merciful enough to go all the way down to the telekinetic's boner, gripping it tightly and earning a moan out of Reeve and, dear god, Reeve really wished he wasn't so turned on right now. " _Y-you shouldn't be having sex because your emotionally stunted and lonely! That's kind of fucked up-_ "

"Don't _ever_ tell me what I shouldn't do." Kai lowered his face towards Reeves, only inches apart as he commanded in a low growl. Shivers flowed down Reeve's spine. " _You're not the boss of me. It's my body, and I'll do what I want with it._ " Kai reasoned, pushing himself off of Reeve, and slowly waltzing towards his discarded pants on the floor. "But if you don't want it anymore then _fine!_ Next loop I'll just have to butter up Adam _reaaaaaaal_ nice~"

"Can you even have sex with Adam and Skeet anymore?" Reeve challenged. " _Or now that you..."love" me...is it difficult for you to even think about doing that kind of stuff with them._ "

...

Kai's slouched shoulder's and slight head drop indicated to Reeve that the boy's answer was a no.

"...So you're just saying that to get me jealous?" Reeve raised an eyebrow in disappointment. "I mean, I never complained when you would beg for sex directly after getting rammed by Adam and Skeet. Why would I feel different about it now?"

"What are you talking about? _You did._ " Kai corrected with a small frown as he turned to the clearly sexually frustrated, yet stubborn Reeve. " _"Jeez have some damn standards man."_ I've heard you say that phrase over a million times."

"I was obviously joking-"

"And besides that, you _also_ "love" me now too. Tell me Reeve." Kai challenged, pulling down his underwear in one swift motion and pulling up his shirt. " _How would you feel if you caught me showing this to Adam or Skeet instead?_ "

Reeve didn't shield his eyes in time, and as he jerked his head away, the image invaded his head and made him even more unfortunately aroused.

...But...processing Kai's question, he imagined Kai showing this side of them to Adam. Showing them their body as Adam smirked at the sight.

He imagined Kai being touched, being held, being filled up by Skeet the same way Reeve touched, held, and filled up Kai.

_...And then a pained fury filled his heart._

Kai lowered his shirt, and smiled at the victory he won. "...That's what I thought." He remarked as he saw the darkened expression on Reeve's face. "But you know that what you're imagining right now, it's _already_ happened thousands of times before, right?" Kai stated matter-a-factually, threatening to put back on his pants. "I mean, you've _seen_ it too. I _know_ you walked in on Adam and I that one time. I heard you sprint away in embarrassment."

...Oh, he remembers what Kai's talking about.

He'd say about...halfway into his first year in this game, he was wandering around the spaceship graveyard when he heard moans in the distance. Against his better judgement he followed a noise, turned a corner, and saw Kai getting screwed by Adam behind a pile of space junk. Sort of gee-whiz position.

Remembering that now, remembering the way Adam lovingly held onto Kai's hands as he took them, how he kissed their cheek and whispered sweet nothings. It filled Reeve's heart with even more of that pained fury.

And now, now Reeve felt a strong desire to just _give in_. Give Kai want he wants and take him right then and there. Fill him up, mark every part of his body. Claim the boy as his own and _his_ only. _He doesn't just want to be Kai's favorite, he wants to be Kai's._

...Wait... _No_. He knows what Kai's doing

 _Kai's trying to bait him._ Get him horny and angry enough to forget about the fact that... _everything_ about this was messed up.

He stood his ground and lowered his shirt to somewhat cover his raging boner. "Yeah, I was definitely embarrassed." He deadpanned, and walked out the door. "Me and the others are gonna plan on what to do next. Get some rest alright?" And he shut the door on the completely dumbfounded Kai.

...It was only when he shut the door that he dropped his strong facade, and sprinted out of the cottage in a hurry. He pushed past the nearby Adam and Skeet, racing into the forest to _take care of a little issue in his pants in peace._

Adam, and Skeet watched the telekinetic dash into the woods in confusion, before they resumed their conversation. "...So that's basically what's going on." Finalized Skeet, much to the poor Latino's disbelief. "...Are you... _serious?_ A game time-loop?"

"Yeah, that's what Mira told me." Skeet finalized, as he glanced towards the graveyard, where the blue haired girl stacked a few stones on the ground. A makeshift grave with no body for one unfortunate soul now pixelated away. She stood in front of that grave, and wiped away the tears that threatened to escape her eyes.

"...She's not taking Vanessa's death too well." Adam commented, a somber frown forming on his lips. Skeet nodded in agreement. "I don't think her and Vanessa were really good friends, at least as far as she told me. Mira's just kind-hearted like that." Skeet muttered, a strained smile forming on his lips. " _That's what I like about her._ "

The two boys jumped in shock when Mira suddenly screamed in fear. Hands erupted from the ground, and undead humans began to chase their victim for a meal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kai at basically any given opportunity @ Reeve: https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/859/869/c35.jpg
> 
> See if you can catch the reference in this chapter's title.


	39. Storm before the Wildfire

Gustaf yanked the headset off of his head, being presented once more with The Hollow stage.

In front of him, two sets of a trio of chairs. On the right was Adam's team, the cyan screens covering their unconscious eyes, and the iv tubes feeding their veins and filling their bodies with the necessary nutrients for survival.

To the left was Vanessa's team, in a similar state.

...But not for long, as a couple of his coworkers exchanged glances, and unplugged Vanessa's VR chair from an outlet.

The cyan screen in front of Vanessa's eyes vanished. With bated breath, they waited...

...She opened her eyes.

The pale, now 18 year old woman with overgrown jet black hair and a body too large for her old clothes, slowly blinked and processed her surroundings. The heart monitor connected to her was still stable.

Vanessa was alive... _so far_.

"...Yo coders! See if you can access and alter any of the game code now!" He suggested, and the nearby coders on their laptops nodded and did as they were told, one biting into a fudge toaster pastry. They're running out of money, so now it's just the off-brand stuff. Hopefully Kai's parents mail another paycheck soon.

Despite the fact that he actually didn't lead this team of far too kind individuals, _no one did really_. Gustaf was sort of a role model to everyone else. They listened to him, did what he told, followed his advice. He had to interact with the kids almost every waking second after all. He understood the horridness of the situation better than everyone else.

Gustaf slowly approached the increasingly distressed and panicking Vanessa, and tried to steady her shaking body. "Hey, hey. It's OK. You're safe now." He cooed out, trying to calm the woman. To no avail however, as she began to struggle, kick, and screech with a closed mouth. Others came near in seconds, trying to steady her.

"What's wrong with her?!" Gustaf questioned worriedly to a nearby coworker, who shrugged. "No idea! I mean, we knew something could go wrong if we did this!" The team restrained Vanessa, and proceeded to drag her to the nearest makeshift hospital bedroom in this giant god-forsaken place. "We'll have to call some doctors and psychologists to check up on her!"

And Gustaf was left standing on the stage, unsure of what to feel.

Vanessa was _alive_...but...

_...Gustaf had a bad feeling._

_Something was wrong with her._

The way she stared at Gustaf, with pure, complete nonrecognition. The way she reacted to her situation, like a _scared toddler_ having a meltdown...

**"Oh my fucking god it's working!"**

Gustaf quickly turned to the group of coders, who showed off their screens to Gustaf. **"Look at this! No glitchy screens! No sudden file exits! It's fixed! We don't need that Jackson guy anymore!"**

Gustaf stared at the screen in awe. Just as the coder said, no sudden glitches, no sudden access denied popup spams.

Unplugging Vanessa from the game took the virus from her contact lenses with her.

**They could fix the game.**

**They could get these poor damn teens out of the game.**

_"...Oh my god..."_ Gustaf muttered, covering his mouth as tears filled his eyes. _"Holy shit."_

And he cried in relief, in front of these two people he walked by in the hallways daily. There was no shame in him, for crying in front of these people. Everyone cried in this place. Why _wouldn't_ you cry at least once in this place?

In fact, the coders began to weep in joy along with them. The stage room was soon filled with three sobbing adults.

_It was happening!_

_The day they all dreamed for was happening!_

Sure, it would take a few months to undo everything Fredrick had done, and get the teens out of the game, but at least they could finally _start!_

Gustaf's gonna have to call the guards leading Jackson to the headquarters, tell them he wasn't needed anymore, and could head straight to jai-

"What's all _this_ about?"

The wailing stopped, and the three adults turned their heads to behold two familiar guards, who usually protected the hollow headquarters.

In between them was a short statured, chubby man with platinum blonde hair, and ethereal green eyes. He looked just like an angel, a sort of benevolent being you think would grant you any wish imaginable.

This angel scoffed at their joy, seemingly discontent with their happiness. "I usually enjoy the sounds of wailing but only when it's from misery, not happiness. I can tell the difference." He remarked with dark-hearted eyes that pierced into the trio's soul. "Gustaf right?" He questioned, focusing his attention on the host specifically. "I'm 6-5-1-18, Jackson, the one you've so desperately wanted to meet. So tell me, what's gotten all of you so light-hearted?"

Gustaf, nearly chilled frozen by this fallen angel, straightened his jacket and stood up to look down at this supposed sadist. "...We actually managed to get rid of the virus ourselves." Gustaf cleared his throat and explained, much to Jackson's surprise and the two guard's relief. "Oh my god! Really?" The left one exclaimed. "That's great! Looks like we don't need you after all!" Remarked the right to Jackson.

Jackson didn't skip a beat in his rather shocking proposal. "Well that's rather nice, _I suppose._ " Jackson muttered, rolling his eyes and tapping his foot along the ground. "But it's going to take a while for all of you to undo my friend's work, isn't it? All of your coders seem to be complete ammeters, _but I'm here?_ "

The two coders behind Gustaf gasped at the offense. The guards glanced at Gustaf for his thoughts on the matter.

Gustaf crossed his arms, and glared hard at this deranged man before him. "... _How do I know I can trust you?_ " He spoke his mind. "You _are_ a good friend of the man that started this mess in the first place."

Jackson laughed.

He laughed, like he considered Gustaf's reasoning to be almost foolish. "...Listen, listen. I was dragged here by two trigger-happy jackasses that constantly pointed a gun at my shoulders. Not my head, because I was useful, but it was enough of a threat." He glanced at the two guards behind him, who stared at the ground in shame at Gustaf's somewhat disappointed glare.

"...And?" Gustaf countered, raising an eyebrow and lowering his glasses. "You could still further screw things up."

"I _could_." Jackson admitted, crossing his arms and challenging Gustaf's reasoning. "But what would be the point now? Unlike my...admittedly not so smart friend Fredrick, I _do_ care about the consequences of my actions that involve _me_. I'm already going to jail, possibly for life! I'm doomed. Might as well somewhat redeem myself. Might shorten my sentence."

Gustaf tapped his fingers along his glasses, and bit his lip in thought.

He doesn't like this one bit.

_...But..._

"...How long will it take for you to fix it all?"

Jackson smirked at the question, and waltzed over to the two coders. "You two have a PDF or some sort of file somewhere on there that shows what the code is supposed to look like, right?" He inquired with a cocky smirk. "Show it to me, and the current code."

The coders, after Gustaf's reluctant approval, typed away at their laptops, and showcased their screens to the fallen angel. Jackson skimmed through the code, and commanded the coders to scroll down every once and a while.

"...Eh." Jackson finally remarked with a shrug. " _Probably...5 to 8 hours?_ "

_Holy fucking shit._

"...Are you _seriously_ telling me you can do what is considered _a few months worth_ of work in _5 to 8 hours?!_ " Gustaf croaked out in disbelief.

"I mean, _normally_ you would just copy and paste the original code to replace the current code. The file size is huge though, and it would take a while for the paste to load. With 5 man children inside the game, that may cause some issues for them. It would be more safe to alter it manually. The amount you'd have to change would probably take a few months for a group of coders to fix manually. But I'm a fast typer." He cracked his knuckles, in glee at the opportunity he just might be given. "Just say the word and I'll get to it!"

"Jesus christ, he's a _genius_." Muttered one of the guards behind Gustaf. The game show host couldn't help but agree. "...A horrible person, but a genius none the less..." He muttered under his breath, before clearing his throat, and giving his answer. "... _Ok_...we're choosing to trust you."

"Well of course you would!" Remarked Jackson haughtily. "I won't let you dow-"

"But, these two guards behind me are gonna watch your ever move, and will report to me if they see you messing around with the code in any way." Gustaf threatened with a tight glare. "I'm feeling generous, so you have three strikes."

Jackson's empty gaze pierced into Gustaf's soul. "...Yes, of course. That's a smart move." He remarked, as the coders focused on getting his work space set up. "Never can be too cautious...honestly if Fredrick would have just followed that advice this wouldn't have happened. Who _doesn't_ check the code of a virus before inserting it in anything?! Jeez, he has too much faith in me. Dumbass." He began to mutter quietly, before letting out a low giggle. "Although based on what my escorts have told me this mess has turned into something very amusing."

"... _Uh oh_...looks like the gang found the zombies again." Remarked a nearby worker. The watchers, those that monitor the teens' every move.

Gustaf and the others gathered in front of the collection of tv screens, and beheld Adam, Mira, and Skeet, fighting for their lives through the familiar horde of zombies. "...Who was the one that suggested this concept again?" inquired the watcher, tapping his foot along the ground with anxiety, hoping the kids would make it out alive.

" _Does it matter?_ " Remarked Gustaf, who bit his lip in worry. "God I wish I could go down there and _do_ something!"

"I mean, you _could!_ " Suggested one of the coders, much to Gustaf's shock. "Now that everything's going to be fixed in a few hours, you could go down there and break your act to everyone? Honestly, I think everyone knows about the situation anyways, after Vanessa's..."

...

...Shit... _he could_ -

"Ah, looks like you don't have to deal with the zombies after all. _Kai's_ coming to save the day."

Sure enough, when Gustaf narrowed his eyes at the screens, a twitchy, red-headed boy with blazing hands and a frustrated scowl stomped towards the zombies surrounding the group.

"... _Oh boy, this is gonna be fun to watch._ " Remarked a delighted Jackson, who bit his finger nails in interest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
> 
> So uh ye new chapter short but the next one might make up for it!


	40. Shut Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No more. Just stop talking. No more noise, no more anything.

" _Disgusting_." Remarked a cocky phantom with red-hair, as Kai stood in front of the mirror and observed every inch of his bare body.

He noted every ugly feature, every rib sticking out of his sickly pale skin.

The scars, the scars marking every inch of his body right now? Since when did they appear? He remembers having them before, in previous loops. How did they all open up now?

Icicles stuck out of the perfectly intact windows. He was losing it again.

"Look at you! Honestly I'm surprised you even managed to ride Skeet and Adam's dick with _that_." Scoffed the phantom Kai. Kai covered his ears, and let out a silent screech. _Shut up._

"You see how he walked out on you like that?" remarked the phantom, as Kai grabbed his discarded clothes and hurriedly put them on, not wanting to see the blood leaking wounds anymore. "You're _pathetic_ to him-"

" _Shut. Up._ " Growled a frustrated Kai, who repeatedly smacked his head and barged out of the bedroom, hyperventilating as the grass on the floor grew greener and the sand leaking from the roof grew duller.

_"...lp..."_

The phantom ignored his protests, as his self paced around the cottage, trying to tune out the noise, the sights, the smells. "You're telling _me_ to shut up?" Mocked the clear-eyed boy. "You can hate me all you want, a figment of your imagination. You can blame me for your current misery, but you can't blame me for your problems...I _am_ you blaming yourself for your problems. _It's all you!_ "

"I _know_ what you are!" Kai snapped, and twirled around, glaring at his innocent looking self. " _Hop of my fucking di-_ "

" _I am your regrets._ " The phantom continued, ignoring Kai's protests. "I'm that little voice in your head, that voice that reminds you of _how far down you are_ , personified into an imaginary friend that looks like your innocent former self because you are _bat-shit insane_. You _want_ to hear me right now."

_"...H..."_

"I _don't!_ " Screeched Kai, curled up on the floor,scratching his ears that just won't shut up! " _Go away!_ "

" _Then why am I here?!_ " continued the phantom. "If you would stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself and actually do something! Actually try to be better! Then maybe I wouldn't have to hate your existence as much!" He seethed, a bright, distorted flame in his eyes. "But that's _impossible!_ You're too far gone as far as I can see! The only thing you deserve is to _burn in hell_ for all you've done!"

" **BURNING IN HELL WOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS!** " Screeched Kai, almost foaming at the mouth in rage. He was done. So fucking done with this. His phantom however thought otherwise. "Correct! Burning in hell is _nothing_ compared to what you've gone through, you deserve _worse_ than that!" He surprisingly agreed, a wide smirk on his face. "You _deserve_ this! Maybe you _always_ have! _Maybe you were such a spoiled, selfish brat before this game that karma got to you and now you're paying the dues you don't even remember!_ "

_"...H...lp...It hur-"_

" _ **WE GET IT MIRA!**_ " Screamed Kai, twirling his head towards the memory of an arm-less mermaid, propped up against the cottage wall as alien poison flowed through her veins and slowly killed her. " _ **POISON FUCKING SUCKS! BIG DEAL! STOP BEING SUCH A WIMP!**_ "

Gasping for air, and suddenly feeling immense guilt for his words, Kai shook his head and covered his ears, pacing faster around the room and avoiding his phantom's judgmental gaze. He needs something to fiddle with, something to distract him...yes, a kitchen knife!

He twirled the knife in his hands, nicking himself multiple times in the process, and bit his lip when he heard the familiar footsteps of his phantom, ready to say more. "You're a heartless bastard, you know that? You really think she deserved _that?_ "

" _If you don't shut your fucking mouth right now._ " Seethed Kai, pointing the knife at his bandaged throat. _"I am going to stab my neck apart._ "

"And what good will _that_ do?" Reasoned the phantom, letting out a few tsk's. "I'll be there when you wake up in the bunker."

"Not if I'm tanked!" lilted out Kai, a deranged smile on his face. " _I'm zooming to the saloon first thing and downing the nearest bottle of gin I see~_ "

The phantom Kai laughed. He laughed over the moaning memory of Mira in the background, a glare of superiority on his face. "Well well, running away _again_ huh? What would Reeve think?" He shook his head, scanning his ragged, cooky self up and down. " _You don't deserve him._ "

...Kai faltered.

For just a split second he faltered. He picked himself back up as fast as he could, pressing the knife deeper into his neck, and drawing a bit of blood. "I _kno_ -"

"You _don't!_ " Countered the phantom before he could even finish, and the ghost slowly back him into a corner, which curved and leaned over him, observing his situation. " _You actually think somewhere deep down in there that you and him could be happy!_ Get out of your fantasy world! Look at him! He's the antithesis to you! He's mostly sane despite his situation! He has a decent moral compass! _You! Don't! Deserve! Him!_ "

"I-I know! _Ok!_ " Whined Kai, a hiccup escaping his throat as a tear slipped down his cheek, and the knife against his throat, along with his hands began to shake. "I know I'm hopeless and he's is hope! I know that I just... _can't I dream?_ _I'm allowed to dream of happiness aren't I-_ "

" _ **YOU DON'T DESERVE ANY HAPPINESS!**_ " Screeched the phantom, his pupils flashing a dangerous red. "...You know if he _does_ secretly hate you you should be elated! I mean, if you push him away you won't have to taint him anymore!"

" _N-NO I!_ I...I _helped_ him! _I prevented him from becoming like me!_ " Countered Kai, dropping the knife onto the floor, and curling up into a fetal position, trying to cover his ears and eyes. "I...I didn't _taint_ him-"

" **OF COURSE YOU DID! THAT'S ALL YOU DO! ALL YOU DO IS WHINE AND DESTROY AND MAKE A MESS OF EVERYTHING!** "

" **WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT!?** "

" _ **...Die.**_ "

A simple command that always shattered Kai's mind apart.

To die, permanently, it was something Kai wished for often. To just sleep, and never wake up again. The perfect bliss.

And perhaps this phantom's command wouldn't have taken him aback as much, before Reeve, but now...now that he has Reeve...

There was...an actually reason to... _want to keep living_...and he _hated_ that.

_The only way Kai would be able to kill himself at this point is if he killed his feelings for Reeve._

That was _never_ going to happen, so _the next best thing was to kill Reeve's feelings for him._

Despite all he's said and how he's acted since Reeve's been keeping him off the drugs, the guy showed no signs of hatred towards him as far as he could see, which was very far. He could read Reeve like a book.

 _Why doesn't Reeve hate him?_ _He's horrible._

Or did Reeve pick up his emotion masking abilities, and _does_ secretly hate him. If so he wished they'd just drop the act, so he can possibly kill himself in peace when and if they all got out of this game!

...

**...Dear god, apparently they were going to get out of this game...**

**Kai hasn't had any time to process that-**

The sound of screams from outside the cottage alerted both Kai and the phantom, and they gathered toward the now icicle free windows.

The window showcased Skeet, Adam, and Mira, fighting for their lives in the cemetery, as a horde of zombies gathered and surrounded them.

"...What are you gonna do?" Challenged the phantom. "Stand by and let them die again like a heartless monster? Or are you perhaps going to tear through the corpses like a mad dog?"

"...Jesus christ." Growled Kai, sprinting away from the phantom and slamming open the door. Searing flames gathering in his hands. " _No matter what I do you're never happy with me._ "

As he stomped closer and closer to the un-dead horde, he could see the primal fear form in their eyes, as they saw the bright force of nature that was himself approaching at a fast speed.

He punched the first zombie that tried to jump him, and it burned into ashes almost instantly.

The rest were cracked open and turned to charcoal in less than a minute. Adam, Mira, and Skeet cowered in fear, as the flaming monster repeatedly stomped on the face of a thoroughly re-dead zombie.

...Adam just couldn't take it anymore, and he sprinted over to Kai, attempting to restraint the livid red-head, much to Mira's disapproval. " _Don't!_ " She warned frantically. " _He could-_ "

But Adam didn't listen, he gripped onto the red-head's arms, and tried to coax him. "Hey! Hey! Calm down! It's _dead_ Kai-"

In under 3 seconds, Kai, in a fit of panic: 

Twisted his body.

Kneed Adam in the crotch.

Gripped one of their arms. 

**And snapped the arm with his strength alone.**

A horrific scream filled the cemetery, and Adam sobbed and clutched onto his broken arm, which bent in the opposite of it's intended direction. Kai panted, fear, anger, and confusion swirling in his eyes.

No, he thought...one of Akuma's men grabbed him from behind...

...But it was _Adam_.

...And Kai started laughing, it was awkward at first, because he didn't know what to do with himself. Then he started laughing in amusement, because _shit it was so hilarious, mistaking Adam, his teammate, the man he lost his virginity to, for an enemy and literally breaking his arm like it was a pocky stick._ Mira and Skeet watched with concern and horror. Adam was too busy being in agonizing pain to pay attention.

But then the amusement wore off, and Kai's laughter transitioned to frantic sobbing, because fuck, he hurt one of his friends _again_.

_Yeah, this wasn't the first time this has happened._

Adam usually got the brunt of it because he was _so fucking_ touchy-feely at the worst times. He would grip Kai from behind while trying to calm him down and Kai would snap and react by instinct. Then Adam would be on the floor in agony. Last time Kai broke Adam's legs; both of them.

Mira would also get her ribs cracked sometimes. She wouldn't listen to the phrase, "Leave me alone and let me calm down, I could hurt you right now." and naturally got hurt as a result. Mira wouldn't remember, they were in loops before she began remembering.

Reeve...well...it happened to him once. May that pelvis rest in pieces. Kai felt incredibly bad about it, although he masked that guilt hopefully well. The telekinetic, surprisingly enough, forgave him. He had no idea why.

_...Fuck...he's that fucked isn't he?_

"...Kai...?" Mira slowly approached the gasping red-head, reasonably wary considering he literally just broke Adam's arm. "Kai, it's ok. We know it was an accident. He scared you didn't h-"

" _ **FUCK OFF!**_ " He snapped, ignoring the girl's frightened gaze, she backed away, and Skeet quickly reached for Mira, embracing her protectively.

"...I-if you'll _excuse_ me." Kai began, shuffling away from the cemetery, gazing desperately at his destination, the saloon. _"I'm going to stuff my face with crystal meth while Reeve isn't looking until I can't breath anymore._ "

...But Skeet zoomed in front of Kai, extending his arms and blocking Kai's path.

" **...Move.** " Kai growled out, the dust collecting on his shoes catching on fire.

Skeet shook his head defiantly. "Drugs aren't going to make this better man."

" **Drugs make everything better.** " Kai countered, but before he could explain, Skeet restated his statement. "No, they don't! You _think_ they do, but it's only a surface level relief! You can do this man! You can get through this-"

" _ **NO I FUCKING CANT!**_ " Kai screeched with wide, tear filled eyes. " _ **I'M EXPERIENCING VIVID HALLUCINATIONS AND RELIVING TRAUMATIC EVENTS! THERE'S AN IMAGINARY FRIEND WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE ME AND IS CONSTANTLY TELLING ME HOW MUCH OF A PIECE OF SHIT I AM! REEVE WON'T LET ME SMASH ANYMORE! EVERYTHING HAS BEEN AWFUL AND I'M FUCKING. DONE-**_ "

He was floating.

He was floating in the air, and he couldn't move.

Slowly, he was brought back down in the ground, and forced into a tight, familiar embrace.

_Reeve._

Reeve's eyes ceased their glowing, and he squeezed the now eerily silent Kai. His frustrated glare pierced through Skeet and Mira's souls, the latter of which was comforting and helping Adam up. "...I left for like...5 minutes... _what the fuck happened_." He growled out, clearly dissatisfied with the mess of a scene he walked in on.

"...We...almost got eaten by zombies, but Kai saved us." Skeet began to explain, sheepishly rubbing his arm. "Then Adam tried to calm Kai down, grabbed him from behind. Kai freaked out and broke Adam's arm. Kai then tried to go into the saloon, I stopped him. He snapped, now we're here. _Where the fuck were you?!_ " He added his question at the last minute.

"Took care of some business." Reeve muttered. He wasn't lying, really. "Ok folks, so here's a general rule I learned the hard way, like with Adam. Don't _ever_ suddenly touch Kai from behind when he's stressed. You will have a bone in your body broken." He gazed sympathetically at Adam. "...You uh...no of course you're not ok... _shit_ , _I can see the bone_."

" _F-fUcK._ " Wheezed out Adam, as Mira cautiously studied the bleeding wound, almost on the verge of throwing up. " _K-KaI WhAt ThE FuCK._ " He stuttered out, glancing at the restrained redhead with a single question in his head...how? Not even why, he knew why, just how? _How_ did Kai get this strong?! _He has literal super strength and he wouldn't be able to do this!_

"... _Mh sorry_..." Kai mumbled silently, snuggling into Reeve's arms, and glancing at Adam with a small hint of guilt. He acted like a child after an embarrassing meltdown, coddling to the one person he trusted with his soul.

"...Come on." Reeve quietly urged to the boy in his arms, urging the others to follow him with a beckoning hand. "Lets go back inside the cottage. You should get some more rest-"

" _Noooooooooooo..._ " Kai tiredly whined, forcing Reeve to a stop and squeezing him tighter. "I don't wanna go back in there... _I don't like him._ "

"...Don't like who?" Reeve loudly questioned in utter confusion. Mira herself was completely puzzled. "It's just us 5? _Who else would be in the cottage with Kai?_ "

Reeve bit his lip at Mira's comment, and glanced at the nearby cottage, who's door was nearly kicked out of its hinges. Well that was _all_ kinds of concer...

_...Wait..._

"...Is it the mean guy that shows up when you're really really high?" Reeve questioned softly, and Kai eagerly nodded a yes. Reeve let out a quiet sigh, and emitted a small tsk. 

Reeve had seen it before, seen Kai quietly chatter to the air as if he was speaking to a ghost. Whenever he asked about it Kai would describe the phantom as just that, "a guy that shows up and insults him constantly." Reeve had no idea who the imaginary foe looked like, let alone why Kai was seeing him now when he was getting sober.

 _...Yeah..._ "Kai can't be left alone anymore." He reasoned to the others, who vigorously nodded in agreement. 

...As a matter of fact... "...We can't stay here." He then resolved, glazing at the distressed group of 3 in front of him. "We gotta go. I know a place that's guaranteed safety safety."

"...Where?" Skeet questioned, having just zoomed away and returned with a first aid kit in a flash. He handed it to Mira, who silently apologized to the natural leader in front of her, gripped Adam's arm, and snapped it back into its proper place. Another blood curling scream filled the cemetery wind, and the others winced at the scene, except Kai. Kai was too busy hiding in Reeve's arms and covering his ears.

As Mira began to wrap Adam's arm, Reeve continued his plan. "...It's... _the mutant spider village._ " Reeve choked out, a small shiver filling his spine. After 2 years, he was still terrified of them. Ironic how the face of death is nothing, but a small black pebble with legs still got a girlish scream out of him. "You know what I'm talking about right Mira? You and Adam went there last loop right?"

Mira nodded a firm yes. "Yeah, they were very nice! Healed Adam for me when I asked."

_"Yeah. Let's get Adam fixed up, pack whatever we can, and get out of here-"_

_A snap._

A snap, and suddenly, Gustaf was in front of the two teens, _barely_ containing his excitement.

" **YOU'RE LEAVING THE GAME IN A FEW IN-GAME DAYS!** " Loudly lilted out Gustaf, letting out a hearty laugh of relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Bone Cracking Noises*
> 
> I'm so sorry-


	41. Midnight Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did it for Reeve, and now Reeve's doing it for Mira. Perhaps he did teach them well.

The breeze blew against Mira's long hair, and chilled her cheeks as the moon shone brightly above.

The sound of the rushing river below the cliff she sat on filled her ears, and she thought back to only hours earlier, when Gustaf shouted those words she was nearly done processing. Not quite finished though, give her a few more minutes.

"If everything pans out, which it should! Jackson is being _constantly_ monitored, there's no way he'd be able to do anything without us knowing!" Gustaf reasoned, calming the completely shocked teens in front of him. "If everything works out, _you will all be out of this game in a few in-game days!_ "

Processing the game-show host's explanation, his grand news, Mira felt elated.

She had only gone through about...3 to 4 loops? And she was already starting to go loony...but maybe she wasn't _really_ going loony...maybe she was simply just stressed out from the situation.

But she knew at the very least that these repeating days she had gone through have impacted her.

Sometimes if she closed her eyes she would suddenly feel that sharp pain against her head. She would remember those brief moments, those brief moments of pain, and of her life quickly draining from her body.

_"...Sup."_

The mermaid quickly turned her head, and beheld none other than a clearly exhausted Reeve. He shuffled his way near the cliff, and sat next to Mira, staring out into the river below.

 _"...Hey."_ She eventually answered, pulled out of her brooding.

Almost immediately after Gustaf left did they all begin their journey to the fabled mutant spider village. They only traveled along the river for about a few hours before everyone called it quits and set up a campfire.

Mira couldn't sleep, so she wandered a ways from the camp, and sat along the cliffs.

...It seemed that Reeve couldn't sleep either.

"...Why are you awake?" She prodded quietly, and Reeve instantly answered with hardly a single hint of emotion. "Kai's being fidgety in his sleep."

Kai had become extremely clingy to Reeve ever since he returned, ever since he restrained them after they broke Adam's arm. He clung onto their shirt and followed them like a needy child, shaking and twitching from the withdrawal symptoms that were only going to get worse. At one point Kai actually tried to sprint away from the group, back to the saloon likely. Reeve used his telekinesis and stopped the red-head before they could even run 4 steps, and after they kicked and screamed and begged for mercy in Reeve's tight grip, Kai nearly passed out in exhaustion. 

Kai's been falling in and out of sleep ever since then, murmuring to the air while awake and shaking like a leaf while in a slumber.

"Why don't you just move to a different spot by yourself?" Suggested Mira, but Reeve quickly shook his head. "He starts whining after a while of me not lying next to him. I can't be out here for long." He tapped his finger along his crossed legs. "...Why're you awake?"

"...It's been difficult for me to sleep...ever since I..." Mira trailed off, and Reeve instantly got it. _"Killed yourself?"_ He finished, and Mira instantly nodded. "...Yeah..." 

Reeve sighed in understanding. "That's normal, reacting to your first death like that. I went through it too...although my first death wasn't a suicide."

"...How did you die again?"

"I was impaled with an icicle that ice giant made." answered Reeve, as he trailed his fingers along his stomach, where he still sometimes experienced brief phantom pains. "Kai mercy-killed me before I suffered for too long but...I still have dreams about that."

Mira blinked at Reeve's story. "...You mean nightmares?" She corrected. Reeve however denied the correction. "...No...just _dreams._ Nightmares make you jump up and scream in fear. That doesn't happen when I dream about my deaths anymore...I'm _used_ to it, y'know. Used to dying...I don't like it but its been a part of my life for so long now." Reeve glanced at the innocent rememberer next to him. "... _You're lucky you know_ , you only have to go through death twice; now that we're leaving this game."

"...We're leaving this game." Mira muttered, twirling her hair around her fingers. "...In only like...a few days."

"...Yeah..." Reeve mumbled back. "I...still haven't fully comprehended it yet, to be honest. This, all of this..." He trailed off, his eyes darkening, drained of the light that used to exist, of the youth that shined through. "It's been my life for...2 years now. I...can't fully wrap my head around what living life is supposed to be. I nearly had a panic attack after Vanessa..."

"...Why didn't you let me ask Gustaf about Vanessa?" Mira questioned. Reeve didn't seem too surprised by the question. "I was going to ask him about her before he snapped away and you stopped me before I could even pronounce the first syllable of her name. Kai can't hurt her anymore, he should know."

Reeve let out a sigh, and rubbed his hand against his face. "I _will_ tell him, I will...just." He gazed pleadingly at the blue haired girl next to him. "He's very unstable right now Mira. I'll tell him myself once the withdrawals subside and he's more...emotionally sane. Right now though? No, he's already going through enough shit."

Mira didn't argue with the verdict, because she honestly agreed with Reeve's justification. Kai was by no means a mentally sound person at the moment.

Instead, she changed the subject, asking a question that had been secretly festering in her mind. A question she tried to ignore, but would pop it's head up when she saw Reeve and Kai, and the insanity they both had. 

Yes, even Reeve, as responsible as he was. His world view was warped like Kai's, although not nearly as much. Mira realized that when he threw Akuma's body off the floating island, completely unfazed and devoid of emotion.

_"...Am I...allowed to feel miserable about what's happened to me?"_

...

Reeve was almost horrified by Mira's question.

"...M-Mira, of course you are-" He reached out his hand, and tried to place it on her shoulder, but Mira shrugged away quickly, and curled up into a ball, her eyes tight with guilt. "I-I kind of know I'm allowed to feel somewhat horrible but...you and Kai, you've gone through so much more horror than I have. I feel stupid when I nearly shed a tear every time the phantom pains in my head intensify. It's not even _the pain_ that makes me cry i-it's just...I _killed_ _myself_ Reeve!"

"Yeah! and you witnessed others die, _and_ you were stabbed in the leg with a spear, and you traveled through this mess of a world, encountering dangers and difficulties over and over again! That's bound to scar anyone!" Reeve reasoned, grabbing Mira's shoulder once more, and gaining her attention. "Mira...just because me and Kai have suffered through more shit than you have doesn't mean you're not allowed to be traumatized by it all. You're experiences, they're just as valid as mine, or Kai's."

Mira was...somewhat convinced, and she let out a shaky sigh, turning her attention to the forest on the other side of the river. "...Sometimes I... _wish I was hurt more so I could feel justified in my misery._ "

Reeve didn't respond to that heartbreaking confession, he just frowned, and squeezed Mira's shoulder, "...That's a thing _all_ of us rememberers seem to have...to want to be hurt sometimes." Reeve muttered, and he began to scratch at his arms. "... _I begged Kai to choke me once, in an afterglow._ "

_"...How does kinky sex have anything-"_

"N-no I wanted him to _strangle me to death_." Reeve quickly further detailed "...It was...after I saw Adam kill himself for the first time. I felt so powerless and guilty and most of all...I felt stupid, for not listening to Kai's advice. So I...wanted him to punish me." Reeve grimaced at the memory, the memory of his sobbing, and of Kai's blank eyes of pity staring down at him as he begged to be hurt, to feel justified in his brief bout of self-hatred.

"...Did he do it?"

...

_"Almost."_

Mira widened her eyes in shock at Reeve's answer. She had fully expected for Kai to say no to such a request, despite his apparent insanity.

Her expectations were too high apparently.

"...He...was halfway near choking the life out of me when he just...stopped and strangled something else instead." Reeve confessed, subtle pointing down to his crotch when Mira raised an eyebrow in confusion. She instantly got the idea and turned her face away, a light blush on her face. "And it was actually one of the best rounds I've had with the guy. I don't know just...something flipped in him in that moment. I saw his eyes, when he loosened his grip on my neck...I don't think he could have pulled through with it, so he did the next best thing and rode my dick straight to hell." He picked at his nails, regret filling his deepened frown. "I shouldn't have begged him to do that..."

Mira watched Reeve gently touch his neck with widened, horrified eyes. Her gawking mouth was filled the the fresh, nearly freezing air.

"...Holy shit..." He muttered under her breath, her eyes narrowing. "...That's...that's _fucked up_. _That is fucked up_."

"Yeah I kind of know but like...thanks for reminding me." Reeve deadpanned with a strained smirk. "Me and Kai have...a _really_ interesting relationship if you couldn't tell."

"What else did the two of you do that would be considered... _"odd."_ " Emphasis on the air quotes.

"Kai did a strip dance for me halfway through my second year. That was hot." Reeve began to list various stories of the "past." more emphasis on those air quotes. "Wouldn't sound so questionable if it weren't for the fact that y'know, we were teens in an underground neon lit club filled with cocaine and booze, we were both drunk off our asses, and also everyone else got eaten by the zombies only a few minutes beforehand." Reeve actually laughed as he remembered that night, that night that ended in him waking up in one of the club bedrooms in Kai's arms, stark naked and trying to piece together what the fuck happened. "Kai also almost killed me once, like, he was taking care of some demon monks and he accidentally threw a spear into my shoulder, nearly missed my neck. He actually stopped what he was doing and laughed his ass off while simultaneously apologizing. Then he got shish-kabobed and died. _Fun times._ "

"...Y'know." Mira began, a mixture of unsurety and concern bubbling inside of her. "...You two seem to hurt each other almost as much as you keep each other sane."

Reeve snorted at Mira's reasoning. He agreed, really. Him and Kai, they were both fucked in their own ways, and so their relationship was also kind of fucked as well. "For a long time he was all I had, and vice versa." He commented, wishing he had a soda to spin in his hands. "We hurt each other, yes. That whole ordeal earlier this day is an obvious example, but we also care deeply for each other. That's in every relationship I think. There are good times and bad times, but in this hellhole those bad times are magnified."

Mira fidgeted with her jacket in curiosity. "...Are you going to stay by his side after we leave this game?"

...

"Yes."

Mira blinked. She shouldn't be shocked by the answer, and yet she was. "... _Even after all that's happened between you two? Even with what's going on with Kai right now? Even if you'd rather remove everything that reminded you of these events? Even though you don't really have any obligations towards him outside of the game?_ "

"Yes."

"...Why?"

 _"...Because I love him."_ Reeve softly answered, turning to Mira with a somber smile. _"...Trauma and all."_

"...Of course." Mira eventually replied, letting out a soft giggle, "That was a stupid question, sorry."

...

...

"...I should head back." Reeve muttered, standing up from the cliff, and beginning his journey back to the camp. "You coming?"

Mira, after a moment of contemplation, slowly nodded, and lifted herself up from the cliff. "Yeah, lead the way."

_She wasn't so restless anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Op more bad chapters here ya go folks
> 
> We're actually sort of nearing the end ^v^ feel free to give your predictions~


	42. Sweet Emotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes. The good ol' days~

"... _Why don't you smile like that more often?_ "

The accusation caught Reeve off guard, as Kai trailed his finger along Reeve's chest, and stared at him with a curious, playful pout.

They were still connect to each other, basking in the afterglow that filled the purple themed club-bedroom. Reeve was still somewhat panting from the steamy actions performed only a short while ago.

His last present for his "first birthday" was by no means a disappointment. Well, even if it was a few days afterwords, considering that accident that happened last loop where Kai accidentally stabbed himself in the head.

"...Why do you care?" Reeve muttered rudely, although he didn't intend to drive Kai's question away. It was more a challenge than anything, and Kai quickly accepted it. "Because you look nice when you smile like that. I want to see it more often."

Reeve's smile reformed into a smirk, and he lightly jerked his hips upwards, sending shivers down Kai's spine as he lightly moaned from the action. He was quick to gain composure though, and pinned Reeve down on the bed, needy butterfly kisses covering Reeve's face and neck. "Maybe it's because I'm usually not happy?" He deadpanned sarcastically, letting out a light snort. What a stupid question.

"Fair enough." Kai mumbled in between given his kisses. He flipped Reeve, forcing them on top of him. "S-so this kind of stuff~ Ahn! makes you happy?" he strained out between moans as Reeve began to jerk his hips, pounding Kai without any mercy.

Reeve suddenly froze, much to Kai's annoyance, as he lightly punch the back of Reeve's shoulders, and demanded him to continue with a whine. Reeve however had something to say that would be difficult to express while inches deep. "...No...it's not really the sex...I just get happy sometimes for some reason."

He wasn't lying really. Sometimes when he was with Kai he...just felt more at peace.

It was usually during relaxing moments like this, where it was just the two of them as they ignored the problems outside the temporary bubble they made. It was moments like those that made Reeve felt...well...he supposed it was happiness.

Kai blinked at Reeve's answer, and stuck out his tongue with flirty eyes. "Or maybe you just like me that much~" He sighed out, wrapping his legs around Reeve's hips in an attempt to get him to continue.

And Reeve did, he gave the red-head everything he got for a second time this night. Filled him up and made him scream in pleasure...

...Well, he thinks Kai's feeling pleasure. He's never seen the guy with a boner, but maybe their body's just a bit messed up from all the deaths they've gone through. 

_It's probably nothing to worry about._

"...In your fucking dreams. You ain't that special." Reeve joked out with a giggle, snuggling Kai in the second afterglow. The red-head snorted, and lightly smack Reeve's cheek. "Fuck you! I let you smash and this is how you repay me? At least flatter me a little bit~"

"Fine! Fine!" Reeve rolled his eyes. "I've secretly been head over heels in love with you ever since you stared at me with them crazed eyes. Now hurry up and elope with me."

"Oh I'm so sorry Reeve!" Kai added on to the growing joke, booping Reeve's nose. "But I'm already pregnant! It's not yours!"

Reeve's playful smile faltered a bit, and he used his nose to smell Kai's ruff, course hair.

...He knew that cologne. Why does Adam always smell so good?

"Dang, when did you and Adam fuck?" He prodded in curiosity, burying that strange pain now festering deeper inside him. That feeling that has recently arose whenever Kai mentioned his advances with Adam and Skeet.

"Shuttle. Mira went out to explore the area while him and I banged on the computer counters."

"So _thaaat's_ why Mira isn't with you. She's dead huh?"

"Yep. Tried to save her but I failed this time and decided to save the teammate I had left." Kai sighed out, burying his face into Reeve's bare chest. "But hey, at least I got railed doggy-style~"

Reeve controlled his briefly intensified breathing, and suddenly kissed Kai on the lips. He pulled out, and raised himself up a but, gripping Kai's legs. "Today might just be your lucky day. I could screw you doggy-style myself if you want? One more round?"

Kai stared intently at Reeve, and placed his hand under his chin, contemplating his options. Eventually, he settle on a decision. "...Nah. I'm kinda tired." He muttered, letting out a light yawn. "No more sexy times. Just come over here a cuddle me flesh pillow." Kai almost commanded, widening his arms and waiting for Reeve to collapse on him.

...Reeve, after a brief moment of disappointment, did as he was told, and fell into Kai's arms. They two kept each other warm as the cool air circulated through the purple colored room.

"...Hey..." Reeve muttered, partially gaining Kai's attention as he nearly dozed off. "Hm?"

" _...Why don't I ever see you smile...Like...actually smile._ "

...

"...Why would you assume this beautiful facial expression," Kai began, showing off his signature loony grin. "Is fake?"

"I'm not assuming." Reeve defended himself, staring intently into Kai's blank eyes. "I can just tell."

"...Well..." Kai contemplated the question, his grin faltering as he trailed his finger along Reeve's back, "...Maybe it's because I'm hardly ever happy."

"...Dang you stole my answer." Reeve muttered in disappointment, and Kai giggled playfully. "Guess we're _both_ just a couple of mopey bastards huh?" He concluded, and Reeve sighed in agreement.

"...But like...do you know what makes you _actually_ happy?" Reeve couldn't help but inquire. He supposed he was just curious...right?

Kai, for a long time, simply gazed into Reeve's curious eyes.

...And then a soft smile formed on his face, and his eyes lowered gently.

There was no insanity for that brief moment. Reeve felt like he just witnessed a ghost. Someone who was supposed to have died. He nearly gasped in awe, and his body felt light as a cloud, just staring into those eyes.

_He wished Kai would smile like that more often._

...But it was gone in an eye blink. Kai's eyes were drained of any light, and his smile formed back into a wobbly, teasing smirk.

He pecked reeve's nose, and scooted out of their grasp, and off the bed. he picked up his shirt and struggled to put it back on as Reeve stared with wide, shocked eyes.

"...Are you going to answer?" He almost begged. Because _shit_ you can't just do him like that! _What the fuck!_

But Kai decided he was going to do Reeve like that. _"Nope~"_ He replied in a happy-go-lucky tone, throwing Reeve's pants at his face. "Put some pants on. _I don't want to kill myself with you while we're stark naked. It's cold in here."_

Reeve saw Kai further open the barely shut drawer, and pull out two guns he stole from the shuttle. He threw one to Reeve, and the telekinetic sighed, struggled to put his pants back one, and grabbed the gun.

"..Hey, can I top next time?" Kai suddenly asked, pointing the gun at his head. Reeve nearly pulled the trigger on his own gun and choked in shock. "W-w-woah, I-I thought you said you didn't like topping?"

"I'm growing curious. Never actually tried it y'know?" Kai shrugged, a teasing smirk on his face. "Well?"

" _...Maybe._ " Reeve answered. It wasn't a yes or a no, it was an "I need to think about this more," and Kai took what he got, and pulled the trigger. The bullet passed through his head, and he collapsed onto the floor, still warm, yet lifeless.

Reeve observed the scene, slightly disturbed by Kai's corpse, yet not at all horrified. Not anymore.

He placed the gun to his head, and pulled the tr-

Reeve woke with a start, yet he did not jump up in shock.

...Huh...that was an old memory...

...And oh great, now he has a boner. _Oh joy_. He's glad Kai hadn't woken up an noticed it, otherwise he probably would've woken up to the red-head shaking his shoulders and attempting to convince him once more to-

...

_Kai wasn't by his side._

The last thing he saw, when he and Mira returned to the camp and laid in their respective spots for slumber, was Kai's somewhat peaceful sleeping face. The last thing he felt was Kai's warmth.

But there was no face lying next to him, and the warmth was long gone.

He jerked up, panic filling his mind as he frantically observed his surroundings.

_Kai was nowhere to be seen._

**Kai was gone.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reeve: My sex life with Kai is probably nothing to worry about.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idoYCVLh2qI
> 
> "Reeve worries about his sex life with Kai"
> 
> ...This is probably one of the most wholesome chapters you're going to get btw-


	43. The Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes.

Kai watched Reeve's exhausted, sleeping form with dead, emotionless eyes.

Semen had long since dried between his legs. He had laid next to the telekinetic for hours, ever since they fucked him for the second time.

...He never really thought of Reeve that way till now...guess realizing it's all pointless after accomplishing a goal that gave you the middle finger opens your eyes.

He bested the boss, he won the game.

_...And he was still here._

...

Kai slowly stood up from the saloon ground, observing the muttering Reeve one more time, before pulling up his pants, and tiptoeing upstairs.

When he reached the final step, he came to the first door he saw. It wasn't one of the bedrooms, it was actually a closet room, filled with all sorts of cleaning junk and other materials.

_...Like a rope._

Kai pulled out this rope from the closet, and quietly re-shut the door, making sure not to disturb the sleeping Reeve downstairs.

A few minutes later, and he was standing on a chair inside one of the bedrooms, a noose around his neck.

He had never killed himself before...why not try it? See what happens? Maybe if he offs himself, he just might escape this game.

It was worth a shot. He has nothing to lose anymore.

_...Even if he ended up dying permanently, that would be OK too._

So he prepared to step off the chair.

His heart was racing as the world slowed to a stop, he saw his life flash before his eyes once again.

...And he felt a hint of fear, a small amount of terror. He had never killed himself before after all.

...But he had died before. Suicide shouldn't be so different from getting mutilated by Toros.

_...Hah...but he was still scared anyways-_

" **WAIT!** "

Kai somehow managed to steady himself, and gazed with wide eyes at the purple man that suddenly appeared before him.

It was that weird guy. Then man that made the portals for him and his friends.

"...Kai..." Began the weird guy, raising his hands, and trying with all his might to deter Kai from this action. "...Kai, _listen_ to me. You _don't_ have to do this!"

"...It doesn't matter." Kai muttered with an exhausted voice, devoid of hope. "... _Nothing_ matters. It's just gonna reset anyways. This stupid game."

...

"...Y...Y-you..." The weird guy trailed off, covering his mouth in complete horror, taking off his glasses and displaying his saucer wide eyes. "... _How long have you...been remembering the resets?_ "

Kai's breathing screeched to a halt, and his eyes widened to the weirdo's size.

...What.

_What._

**What.**

_**The fuck?!** _

"...Y-you... _k-know_ about this?" Kai stuttered out, his tears brimming with hot tears, and hiccups escaping from his throat. " _Y-you've known about this all this time?_ "

Gustaf lowered his hands from his mouth, and his guilt ridden eyes scanned the sobbing 14-year-old red-head; their neck covered in bright hickies, their eyes almost dull and reliving unspoken horrors, A noose surrounding their pale neck.

The game-show host sighed shakily, and extended his hand in hope to this poor, poor teenager. "...Hey." He muttered softly in reassurance. "I'm _so_ sorry Kai. We should have noticed. Your behavior was _always_ odd and inconsistent..." He trailed off, and took a few confident steps, tensing the red-head's shoulders. "I'll tell you everything. What's going on, why it's happening. All that jazz...j-just... _step down from the chair OK?_ "

...Kai...after a long moment of contemplation, slowly removed the noose from his neck, and shakily took the adult's hand.

That was how him and Gustaf were firstly properly introduced.

Kai's eyes blinked open, and the memory that replayed in his sleep replayed once more as he blankly stared at the night sky.

"...I'd say "good morning", but both of those words are a lie." Muttered the phantom lying by his side, smirking mockingly at him. "Bet you feel bad about being an asshole to poor Gustaf huh? Now that he's kept his promise!"

...

...

_He can't fucking do this anymore._

Slowly, he untangled himself from Reeve's arms, and tiptoed out of the camp. He had become a master of sneaking in the past fifty in-game years of traversing through enemy ridden terrain.

Ignoring the phantom's callings and mockings, as soon as he was out of earshot, he propelled himself with his flaming hands and flew at a speed nearly up to par with Skeet. He reached the saloon in only a minute or so. The phantom was right by the door, prepared to screech in disappointment at him for doing the predictable. "Are you seriously this fucking weak?!" He shouted, disbelief in his frown.

He walked right through the phantom, ignoring the warped, twisted world around him, and the screams of pain and misery he had heard from long ago. Pulling the only bottle on the now nearly empty bar shelves, he opened the secret entrance to the club, and sprinted down there as fast as he could.

He collapsed onto the floor and nearly cried tears of relief when he saw the familiar bottles of booze to the right, and the tables filled with crack all around.

He was having a fucking heyday, yanking the meth out of the table drawers, grabbing the nearest bottle of vodka. He was going to get smashed, and then he was going to get tanked, and maybe he would either die of alcohol poisoning or of an overdose. Whichever got him first. It didn't _matter_ what killed him in the end though, or even if he would die tonight or not.

All that mattered is that his comfort items were back. The things that made him "happy" and sane.

The things that made the phantom shut the fuck up.

The things that made the screams stop.

The things that restored the corpses he was traveling with to their former glory.

...The things that...

...

_...Shit...Reeve was going to be so disappointed in him._

But holding the package and bottle in his hands, he realized that that was _OK_. He deserved whatever shit Reeve would give him afterwords. _Maybe this would be the breaking point that would destroy Reeve's love for him._

So he let out a few wheezes of relief, and skipped to the nearest bedroom, the purple one, the one Reeve and him used to fuck in.

He jumped on the bed, and set his items on the covers. He surfed around for a remote, wanting to turn on the flat screen TV attached above the door. Surprisingly enough it actually worked, the TV. It would play reruns of some cartoons on Nickelodeon, Disney, and Cartoon Network. Who knows how Fredrick managed to pirate all the episodes in the first place. _Doesn't matter._

Ben 10 was on this time. He prepared to dump half of the vodka in his mouth, but the phantom decided it was a wonderful idea to give his last words before Kai did so. "You're-"

" _ **SHUT! THE FUCK! UP!**_ " Kai snarled at the phantom, nearly smacking the bottle onto the bed. " **I don't care about what you say, or what you want from me! I'm going to dump this shit in my body, and get rid of you for at least a few hours before Reeve finds out I'm gone and tries to find me!** " The Ben 10 theme song blasted in the room, as he opened the bag of meth, and dumped it all into the vodka bottle. " _ **And fuck will those be the best few hours of my entire fucking life!**_ "

The phantom was dead silent at this rebuke, but continued to glare in judgment.

Kai was mere seconds away from pouring the laced alcohol into his throat-

" _Can you hear me?_ "

Kai dropped the bottle to the floor in shock before he even tasted a single droplet. The glass shattered, and the precious liquid splattered and stained the ends of the bed-sheets.

The Ben 10 theme song was no longer echoing through the bedroom, and the aliens that were traditionally showcased were gone from the screen.

...Instead, he saw a strange, plump man, who leaned his face along one of his hands. His bright blonde hair and piercing green eyes almost made him look like an angel.

The man smirked at him, from the TV screen, and cleared his throat. "Good, you can. Pleasure to meet you Kai. I'm Jackson, the man you have been told about." Jackson introduced himself, and cut straight to the chase. "Listen, the guards aren't going to be distracted by a few... _camera anomalies_ for much longer, _so let's make this quick, alright?_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	44. Something's not Quite Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He just needs to wait...and then...

Reeve was a panicking mess, sprinting around the forest and screaming for Kai's name.

He wasn't afraid however. God no. Kai could easily take care of himself.

He was _pissed_ instead, if Kai had flown back to the saloon to indulged in his habits then...well... _fuck! All that work for nothing!_

...But...he knew it wasn't going to be easy. Therefore he steadied his frustrated breathing. He'll just have to try again, if that was the case.

_And he'll keep trying again, until Kai's clean from all those chemicals._

He lowered his voice, calling for the red-head instead of screaming for them. He walked instead of sprinted.

He traversed the forest for a dozen minutes or so, in his weird egg hunt he was choosing to participate in.

_...And then the egg came to him._

He let out a tiny shrill when he felt someone poke him from behind, and turned on his heel, prepared to snap off the nearest tree branch and impale a motherfuck-

...

...And it was Kai.

...At least...it _looked_ like Kai but...

This Kai had a normal looking, elated smile. The bags under his eyes were almost nonexistent. His skin was a more healthier tone, even under the moonlight.

Reeve was both entranced and horrified by this figure before him. This figure he had _never..._

No...he _had_ seen this before. _Long_ ago, before he even knew about the loops. The figure before him was the lie Kai had kept for so long in front of the others. The lie Kai used to present to him, before he said that mocking joke that alerted the red-head of his knowledge of the loops and turned his world upside down.

...Except...this lie...actually looked mostly _convincing_. Almost like it _wasn't_ really a lie, those calm eyes and soft smile.

He was beyond confused. Kai wouldn't have been able to leave the club if he managed to reach it! The secret entrance is locked from the inside! And Kai had to have reached it by this point. Reeve had been wandering the forest for a while, and knowing Kai's speed it probably only took him a couple of minutes to fly back to the saloon from the camp.

_...That means...Kai never went into the club._

...So what was Kai doing out here? And...why was he smiling at him like that? As if he was at peace with the world. 

_With everything._

"...K...ai?" He muttered breathlessly, his mouth hanging slightly open as this new Kai before him puffed up his cheeks, and then let out a few, goofy sounding giggles. The giggles weren't demented in nature. They sounded completely normal. "Hey Reevie!" He lilted out, stretching his arms and staring in awe at the night sky. "Couldn't sleep, so I decided to head out for a nice midnight walk! The stars look beautiful tonight, don't they?"

...

_Reeve didn't like this._

He should honestly be happy about this, about Kai's seeming happiness and restored sanity. But the change happened _way_ too sudden.

Reeve's gut was _screaming_ at him, _screaming_ at him that something was _very, very wrong._

"...Yeah...t...hey are." He softly agreed without so much as glancing upwards to see the advertised sight. "...Kai are you high? You're acting... _strange_."

Kai's smile turned into a concerned frown, and he tilted his head. "...Hm? No! I guess the temptation to give in and sneak some was strong for _a bit_ , but I don't need any of that stuff! Not anymore!" A happy smile reformed in his lips, and his eyes almost sparkled a bit. "And what do you mean I'm acting strange? Can't I be content for once in my life? You're all leaving this game soon after-all!"

Reeve was getting tenser and tenser by the minute around this normal looking Kai, as the two slowly walked side by side back to the camp. "...Y-yeah...sorry..." Reeve mustered out, scratching the back of his neck. "I just...I've never seen you like this before."

"We'll you're going to see _a lot_ of this for a while! I'm in a _really_ great mood right now. Don't think it's going to sour any time soon~"

That voice. That expressive, geeky voice. That wasn't Kai. Kai sounded like a female teenager smoker half of the time. The other half of the time he sounded like every gay bottom porn-star ever... _guess when Reeve heard the latter half._

Calm down, calm down. Kai's _happy_ for once. _Genuinely_ , seemingly happy. Enjoy this while it lasts.

"...What got you in such a pleasant mood anyways?" Inquired the still uncomfortable Reeve.

Kai glanced at him for a few moments, contemplating whether he wanted to tell Reeve or not. Then he shook his head and skipped ahead a few steps. "Y'know, stuff!" He teased out with a playful smirk. His eyes didn't darken, nor did his head twitch ever so slightly. "I'll tell you about it before we leave!" He was intent on sticking with that bare minimum of an answer.

_Suspicious._

_Very suspicious._

But he doubted Kai was going to give in and tell him what happened any time soon. So he didn't comment on how sketchy that answer was. He kept on walking beside this...Kai, and tried not to glance at them for too long...

...Because...as much as Reeve found Kai's behavior to be very concerning given the context...he liked this Kai. This goofy, nerdy Kai before him that in the current moment nearly fell to the ground after getting smacked by a tree branch blown from the wind, and stood back up with a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.

And that was ironic, because all of these things he hated Kai for way way back in the day. Before he even looped for the first time.

He wondered, if things had been different...if one of their teams won the game without any difficulty... _would Kai and him have possibly become friends? Become close?_

...Perhaps...but...not _this_ close. This bond him and Kai had was forged out of suffering, and need, and understanding, and it was difficult to reproduce in a happy environment such as earth; and earth wasn't even that amazing of a place. Earth was just... _better than here._

Yeah, He liked this other Kai, but he also missed that overly cocky smirk that formed on his Kai's face, whether fighting a monster or turning Reeve into a complete mess during sex. He missed the almost blank, yet knowing gaze Kai would give him when he collapsed into their arms in hot tears, rubbing his back reassuringly with those bony and pale hands of theirs.

"...Hmph...not fair in _my_ opinion." He commented lowly with a somberish teasing smirk.

"I mean, you haven't told me that secret about Vanessa sooooooooo...I _think_ I'm allowed to keep my own secrets!" Kai countered haughtily, and Reeve couldn't help but emit a strange laugh. There was a bit of the Kai he knew!

...But then he got to thinking... _how much longer was he going to keep Kai from the truth?_

It was a strange mixture of emotions, which resulted in that odd giggle. Kai seemed to notice the oddness, as he stepped towards Reeve suddenly, and intertwined his fingers into the telekinetic's.

Reeve almost jumped in surprise, and his heart raced when Kai gently pressed their lips against their own, a chaste, soft kiss that instantly eased some of Reeve's nerves.

"...Hey...it'll all be ok. You're going home soon."

The last time Reeve saw that expression of endearment on Kai's face, it was a few days after his 1st birthday, in a purple love hotel themed room, in the midst of an afterglow.

For a few moments Reeve forgot the context, the mess Kai was only a few hours beforehand, and he was just... _hypnotized_ by that smile. "...Yeah. We are going home soon." He muttered, squeezing Kai's hand. "...Can't wait. I've had enough of this stick hunting bullshit."

Kai's amused laughter filled the forest air, as the two made their way back to the camp hand in hand.

  
_"...Is Kai ok?"_

Reeve blinked at Mira's question, as they traversed through a sandy beach. The waves crashed by the sunset lit shore to the right, and the spider village was only a few miles away.

"He's been acting like this all day and you're asking me this now?" Reeve turned his attention to the concerned Mira, who let out a small sigh at the comment. "I-I didn't say anything because it's...so odd. I didn't know what to think of it at first."

After waking up to the fresh morning, the group of teens left their camp and continued their journey to the mutant spider village.

Throughout the said journey, Kai was making everyone pretty uncomfortable with his strange behavior. Not necessarily in a "this is horrible" way, but more in a "what the frick frack snack" kind of way.

Kai was...acting like Kai. Not the Kai forged from the hardships of a never-ending game on repeat. The Kai before all that bullshit happened.

The old Kai was a huge cheesy jokster. a bit insensitive at times. He could be incredibly cocky, and sometimes straight up an over-defensive jerk, but he had a heart of gold deep down.

That wasn't the Kai Reeve spent 2 years of his life with.

"...I mean, he's overjoyed right now. Best not complain about it, y'know?" He finally responded, after brooding through all of this in the span of only a few seconds.

"I know! I know! I missed seeing this Kai!" Mira quickly agreed, nodding her head eagerly. But then her frown deepened, and she let out a small sigh. "...But...I don't know. Something seems _off_ about this. He...flipped his personality," Mira snapped her fingers to demonstrate her point. "just like that. _I don't like it..._ you sure he's not back on the drugs? Maybe became desperate enough to gorge on some forest shrooms?"

"Nah, the forest shrooms don't make him act like this." Reeve answered matter-a-factually. Mira bit her lip, disappointed and yet somehow also surprised that Kai had already stooped so low as to eat dangerous fungi off of tree trunks, even though she really shouldn't be. 

"...I think maybe the fact that we're leaving this dump finally settled in. He's having a fucking heyday right now." Reeve gave his own theory, which Mira considered, and then quickly agreed with. "I mean, he's been stuck here for what...50 in-game-years?" Mira inquired, unsure of the actual exact amount herself. "It's not actually 50 years but it probably felt like it. I know I feel like I've been stuck in this mess for a few weeks, when in actuality it's probably only been a dozen hours in real life."

"...50 years, reliving this game. God, I can't imagine it." Reeve muttered under his breath, shaking his head. "...That's why I don't really blame him for being the way he is at times. If I lived through this game over and over again all by myself for 50 years I'd probably be just as loony as he is." He shook his head, and rubbed his hand against his palish, eye-bag ridden face. "You know come to think of it, if I had decided not to interact with Kai when I first began to remember the loops I would have probably been halfway there by now."

"You considered not interacting with him back then?" Mira questioned with great curiosity, like a child asking their grandparent about the good old days.

Reeve snorted at those old, old memories, and nodded his head. "Yeah. Told you this before I think but the first thing Kai did when he found out I was a remember was try to kill me to see if I would remember it next loop, confirming my status. I was fucking pissed. Mostly afraid I'll admit now, but also extremely pissed." He sighed, and massaged his neck. God, he was so... "You should be glad you didn't become like me and Kai back then. I was a huge asshole." ... _He was so naive back then._ Constantly he thought of how over the top and insane Kai had become. If only he had known. If only he had known how horrible it could get, how quickly the pain piles up into something nearly unbearable. Then maybe he might not have been so hard on Kai.

"...What are you talking about? _You still are!_ " Mira accused in a joking tone. Reeve chuffled and elbowed Mira's arm, and the two traversed the beach with the others, watching the light-hearted Kai chatting up a storm with Adam and Skeet.

Considering Kai's attention was almost exclusively on Adam, and how he seemed to be at beck and call, giving the broken armed individual anything they needed, whether it be a readjustment of their splint or some ocean water to splash their face with: it was safe to say that Kai probably felt completely horrible over what he did to the Latino.

...Scratch the probably from that previous sentence. Reeve heard another apology come from the red-head's mouth, which Adam once again responded with reassurance and understanding. 

You could still see it though, the slight fear in their eyes. Adam was most likely scarred for life. Reeve knew he was. It's been more than a year and he still sometimes clutches his pelvis when the memory resurfaced on the rare occasion or two. 

His fear had long since disappeared, but the memory of the pain would always be there, and Reeve from then on out was much more cautious of Kai when they were worked up.

"...Going back to the topic of Kai's strange behavior." Mira suddenly brought up, gaining Reeve's brief attention. "Do you think we should keep an eye on him or...you think he'll be alright?"

" _Definitely_ keep an eye on him. No such thing as being _too_ cautious in this world." Reeve determined, crossing his arms and shivering as he saw the curious, human-ish spiders gathering in front of their village archway. "But I wouldn't worry to much. Whatever exactly happened, it won't matter, since we're leaving this game in a few days."

"...Yeah...we are, aren't we." Mira muttered, letting out a few hopeful giggles as a relieved smile formed on her face.

Reeve stared out into the dusk colored sea, a small smirk of genuine joy on his lips. _"...Yeah. We're going home."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you feeling it now mister krabs?


	45. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Come on now. He's not that stupid!

As creepy as the inhabitants of the spider village were, by god were they good hosts when unprovoked.

They provided the gang of humans a nice little cave for them to rest in, all to their-selves. They taught the teens how to hunt for food, guided them on other basic survival tactics. To say Mira wasn't completely obsessed with these teachings would be a straight up lie.

All the stuff the mutant spiders taught Adam, Skeet, and Mira was stuff Kai taught Reeve. Now, Reeve's starting to wonder if Kai learned all those skills from the spider mutants as well.

He's been brooding a lot for the past few days, of living in relative harmony with these terrifying 8-legged creatures.

It seemed all he could do was think about the past, and how that affected the now. Reeve was going through his 15th existential crisis...no wait, was it his 16th?

Did it really matter how many times he's contemplated the meaning of life? In the end, he was doing it again, shocker.

But this time, Kai was sitting right next to him, absorbing all his nonsensical muttering as they watched another sunset, on top of their little cave. Normally when he was in this mood he'd retreat off somewhere for a few loops. One time he was gone for weeks. Kai hardly even acknowledge his brief disappearance when he finally returned, just said "welcome back" in a cheerful tone. Then they had lots of sex, but he's getting sidetracked.

"...So like...maybe...all this happened for a reason?" Considered Reeve, surprisingly gaining Kai's attention, who listened to Reeve's rambling like he was absentmindedly scrolling through tv channels.

"...What do you mean by that?" Kai softly inquired, in one of his more soft moods at the moment. He was beyond relaxed at this point. So relaxed there wasn't a word relaxing enough to describe it.

"I'm just...trying to understand the entire point of all this, y'know? This couldn't have happened just because...it was one of the possibilities in a world of infinite choices. I don't want it it be." Reeve barely whined out, clutching onto his pant-legs. "I'd rather my suffering be due to fate than just...random chance."

"...If you keep trying to find meaning in your own pain and misery, you're going to end up making yourself more miserable as a result. You'll never be satisfied with the ideology of fate because then you'll wonder why that specific fate was determined, and what you're supposed to get out of the experience." Kai explained matter-a-factually, and Reeve's mouth hung open as the wisdom poured from their mouth. "It's OK, you know? It's OK that it happened and it's OK that there was no specific otherworldly force that wanted it or caused it to happen. It happened, and what you decide to do with what happened is what really counts in the end."

"...Holy shit." Reeve breathlessly muttered, staring out into the orange colored ocean in complete awe. "That is...the most deep thing I've ever heard come from your mouth." Those words came from the same guy that moaned out "choke me harder daddy" when Reeve pinned him against a wall by his neck one time. _No Reeve won't provide context._

"Nah, you've seen things come out of my mouth that were much deeper." Kai muttered with a silly smirk, and Reeve sort of hated the fact that he instantly got what the red-head was implying, and snorted with a light blush. "Stop that!" he demanded, lightly punching Kai's shoulder.

Kai simply shrugged, and added on to his response. "What can I say? I've been brooding a lot too lately. Not often you have a few days to just sit and think."

Reeve eagerly agreed, and let out a content sigh. "Yeah, we're usually on the run. This? This is nice...I mean, as nice as it can get with the spiders around."

"Coward." Kai playfully accused, and Reeve was quick to defend himself. "Hey!" He whined out. "I've gotten better! Couple years ago I couldn't look at the king without fainting!"

"I know~" Kai rolled his eyes, and gently pecked Reeve's lips, much to the telekinetic enjoyment, who reciprocated the affection and gave his own peck. "But a spider is _nothing_ compared to what we've gone through! I figured you wouldn't be afraid of anything at this point, like me!" He lightly bragged, accepting Reeve's peck as a challenge and kissing back again with more ferocity.

Kai hadn't tried to seduce Reeve ever since Reeve found him wandering in the forest. The two have been exploring their relationship in other ways, which was a nice breather since they've pretty much exhausted every sexual experiment at this point.

They hardly _kissed_ kissed in the past. Sure, they made out during sex, but just a simple peck: it was something that usually happened only once in a blue moon.

Reeve found that he liked this more innocent form of affection from Kai. It didn't set his heart aflutter like he thought a kiss would. It just...made him feel more at ease. It cleared his mind of all those horrid memories for just a moment.

...For once, Reeve was sort of happy. He wondered maybe, if the game itself wasn't the problem, it was just all the danger and conflict that filled it, with the looping factor sprinkled on top.

"...This is nice." Reeve couldn't help but say, as he smiled endearingly at Kai. "Wonder if you and I will be this happy once we both leave this game...and get therapy."

...Kai's smile faltered ever so slightly. It was so subtle that Reeve almost didn't notice.

"...Who knows." Kai answered, a hint on nonchalance laced within. "It's a nice thought."

Reeve blinked at this reaction, and slowly cupped Kai's cheek. "...Hey, you OK?" He quietly asked. "You've been acting odd for the past few days. This isn't like you, this...normality"

Kai's somberness quickly disappeared, and he clutched onto the hand cupping his cheek. "I'm telling you, I'm fine!" Kai reassured the Telekinetic before him, and his eyes narrowed as he gazed intently at Reeve's concerned expression. "...I just...I'm trying to be less...y'know? Because I know it's annoying, dealing with my bullshit all the time." Kai reasoned, trailing his finger along Reeve's shirt absentmindedly. "You're going to leave the game soon, I just want...these last moments in here to be more pleasant for you."

"Hey hey hey hey hey..." Reeve softly cooed, brushing Kai's bangs aside and rubbing his forehead against theirs. "You don't have to pretend to be a mentally stable person for me you dumbass. Our minds are both wack." Reeve gently reassured with an excited smile. "But you and I. When we leave this game, we're going to get better together."

Kai let out a giggle he was all too familiar with. Reeve thought Kai had finally relapsed back into his old self, as that hopeless, sing-song giggle fill the air between them.

But Kai looked up at him with eyes of pure peace, of pure acceptance.

"I don't so Reeve."

Before Reeve could further prod on Kai's response, Skeet suddenly zoomed behind them, urging them with eyes lit with excitement. "Dude! Weirdo's here!" The beanie boy exclaimed, almost jumping up and down. "It's time! He's gonna disconnect us! Come on!"

And so, deciding to asked Kai about his concerning reply later, he practically dragged Kai down the cave with him, towards the weirdo. How the tables have turned.

"Glad you could all make it!" Exclaimed Weirdo, who looked the liveliest Reeve had ever seen him. "With my signal, you will all be disconnected very shortly! Don't freak out when you see your body disintegrating into red pixels! That's perfectly normal!" Gustaf began to explain the procedure, to better ease the 5 teens before him. "When you wake up in the real world, it might be...jarring. You'll have a lot to process, with your memories of before the game returning and all that. The staff is here to attend to your every need. You will be perfectly safe!"

The game-show host cleared his throat as he finished his reassurance, and prepared to clap his hands together to begin the disconnection process.

_"What about Vanessa?"_

Everyone turned to Kai, who gazed at Gustaf intently, almost demanding an answer. "Are you going to disconnect her from the game as well? Her death doesn't affect the process?"

Gustaf bit his lip, and glanced at Reeve and Mira, silently asking a question with pleading eyes.

Mira was just about to explain the situation, the truth to Kai, but Reeve raised his hand, and silenced Mira before she even spoke.

He needed to do this himself. He had been keeping the secret from Kai the longest.

"...I...think it's time to tell you the truth Kai...about Vanessa's involvement with the loops."

Kai raised an eyebrow, and focused his attention on the telekinetic next to him. The pyrokinetic was _definitely_ interested in this truth, no doubt about it.

And so...Reeve finally told him.

Reeve told Kai everything. The contact lenses, Vanessa's knowledge of the real world, Jackson and Fredrick's involvement in making the contact lenses.

Everything.

"...In short. Vanessa technically...caused all this mess. Although she didn't intend for it to happen!" He quickly stood up for the pink-haired girl, the girl that was already free from this digital world.

Slowly, he opened his tightly shut eyes, and peaked at the scene he had waited for all his life.

...

...He...expected Kai to scream in anger, absolutely livid at the news, and start burning down a bunch of trees in frustration.

He expected Kai to break down into hysterical, yet heartbreaking tears at the news.

He expected a lot of different reactions from Kai.

_...He did not expect Kai to stare blankly at him, completely unfazed._

Those eyes, those eyes piercing into his soul...almost _knowing._

 _"...I was wondering when you were going to trust me enough to finally confess all that."_ Kai stated. picking at his nails nonchalantly. His words left Gustaf and the four teens in front of him gawking, especially Reeve.

"Honestly," Kai let out a small chuckle, finally lifting his smirking face up and focusing his blank, shine-less eyes on the small crowd. "I'm kind of upset that you and Gustaf would think I'd do something like the Fredrick incident again. I'm a horrible person, but not _that_ horrible!"

_...N-no...!_

_...No, Kai couldn't have...!_

"Oh yes!" Kai countered, reading Reeve's mind like a book. "My hearing has gotten really good over the past 50 years. I didn't hear _every_ single detail back in the ice castle that day but I heard enough. Besides, the convo's you had with Gustaf later on filled in those blanks." Kai's smirked widened, and he prepared his words of confirmation.

**"Let me tell you my last little secret Reevie~ The one I told Vanessa a few days ago...I knew the entire time."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K so shit happened and to make a long fucking story short I'm not living with my parents anymore and am now trying to figure out how to adult at a friends house. I've been gone for so long because I had to buy a new laptop. But I'm back so yeah! New chapter!
> 
> ALSO YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I'VE WAITED TO WRITE THIS DAMN CHAPTER IT WAS SOOOO SATISFYING TO FINISH-


	46. Story Time #6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In my heart of hearts, I know that I could never love again. I've lost everything everything. Everything that matters to me matters in this world.

_"Let me meet him."_

That's what Kai begged Gustaf for, to meet Fredrick.

Staring at the lean, black haired man before him in one of the bedroom saloons. He was having second thoughts.

The man...no, the monster before him, smiled in amusement at his misfortune, their legs crossed as they leaned their head against their hand. They posed like a king, a villain who had won and defeated all the heroes.

Gustaf glanced between the two people before him, and then cautiously stepped out of the room. "Play nice now." He strained out a joke, and then shut the saloon bedroom door with a concerned frown.

Fredrick continued to smile, as he asked his first question. "...So Kai. What do you think of the little game I've given you?" He lilted out, his eyes narrowing at Kai's emotionless frown.

"It sucks." Kai instantly answer, his eyes widening and his frown deepening. _"Fix it."_

The man shook his head, and let out a hearty laugh. "Oh Kai, I can't! Perhaps I would if I could, but that unexpected virus certainly added some flavor to this project of mine~ Makes it all the more entertaining!"

1 out of 3 threads in Kai's psyche snapped.

_Entertaining?_

_His pain is entertaining to this fucko?!_

"...I see." Kai growled out, stepping a bit closer to the mastermind sitting on his chair. "Me and my friends dying and suffering all the time is entertaining to you."

"It is!" Fredrick giggled out in glee, his creepy smile widening. "I can't imagine a greater joy in the world that watching the hope and happiness drain out of someone's eyes!" They tapped their foot along the ground, humming contently. "A shame I'm not able to see it in person, but Gustaf's a good describer. My favorite story is the one where Vanessa first betrays you! After so many loops of giving your soul to her! Bet that must have been tragic for you!"

"...It was..." Kai trailed off, and small amount of pain surfacing in his heart as he remembered all those times he laughed with her, all those times he held onto her.

Fredrick began to giggle in amusement at Kai's somber expression, and the second thread of Kai's psyche was snapped.

Kai sprinted towards Fredrick, and slammed his hands against the armchairs, trapping the disgusting man in place. **"Look at me you fucking bastard!"** He hissed out, as steam flowed from his heat filled hands. **"Look at what I've become! You must have seen me before all this right? Remembered what I used to be! But now I'm..."** Kai felt like he was going to choke, and he grimaced, his voice raising in volume. **"You did this to me! You've destroyed my mind! You've obliterated my emotions! You've cut me from my friends! and you've torn apart my innocence! Is all of that..."** Kai was beginning to hyperventilate, a mixture of rage and grief filling every inch of his body. _**"IS THAT FUCKING FUNNY TO YOU?!"**_

He wants Fredrick to feel sorry, to feel guilty for the misery they've caused him. At the very least, if Kai was never escaping this stupid fucking hellhole, then he could have that. See Fredrick’s eyes lower in shame and his smile turn into a pained frown.

If he could just make Fredrick as miserable as he was, then he would be able to die a thousand times over in peace.

But Fredrick wouldn't give him that.

He felt the final thread of his psyche being pulled, as Fredrick let out a small burst of laughter, and nodded his head.

"Out of the five other kids stuck in this place, you're the most entertaining to hear about Kai!" He lilted out, almost admiring his crazed expression of fury. "The others forget, but you don't. You hold that misery deep inside you, and it rests in there, transforming you into something...amazing." The black haired monster shed a single, small tear. _"I don't regret doing this at all, now that I'm seeing your transformation with my own eyes!"_

**Snap.**

**Kai's eyes became dazed and blank, and the red-head tackled Fredrick to the floor, choking their neck as his face morphed into something unnatural, something primal, something destructive.**

**KiLl.**

**He'S gOiNg To FuCkInG kIlL tHiS mAn!**

**And not fast either! No! He's going to tear every single bit of happiness out of this man's stomach and liver! He's going to make them feel EvErY sInGlE bIt Of PaIn He'S eXpErIaNcEd in his more than 40 in game years of playing this oh so amusing game!**

...He wasn't thinking.

_God he wasn't thinking back then._

He remembered pulling out a switchblade from his pocket.

_The next thing he knew he was holding Fredrick's decapitated head, as flesh and blood dripped down his gasping mouth._

_The switchblade was completely covered in the blood of the man he just tortured, and splatters and pools of blood covered the walls and floor. Legs and arms rested in random corners, thrown in a daze._

_Pancreas, livers, heart, stomach, intestines, shattered bones that were once part of the rib cage, all scattered near the headless body he sat on._

_The head he held, only seconds ago still containing a glimmer of life in those eyes, finally at rest._

_Red._

_So much red._

_The metallic taste in his mouth sent horrified shivers down his spine, and the actions he committed settled into his mind. He dropped Fredrick's head onto to the floor, it nearly rolling under the nearby, now blood splattered bed._

_...H...he did this?_

_...What has he done?!_

_He didn't mean to-_

the sudden claps that surrounded his ears distracted him from the guilt that filled his soul, for just a moment, and he looked up to see five familiar corpses, cheering and applauding at his victory.

Adam, Mira, Reeve, Skeet, Vanessa; deathly pale and covered head to toe in previous fatal injuries. Overjoyed at him killing a man.

_You did it! You've avenged us!_

_Aren't you happy?_

**NO!**

**THIS ISN'T HIM! HE DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS!**

**_SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!_ **

He covered his ears, and screamed as loud as he could as tears squeezed out of his eyes.

He didn't know how long he screamed, but when he was done, the emptiness settled in, and then he felt nothing.

And then he just continued to...gaze at the dismembered, disfigured body he created, until Gustaf walked in, fear filling his eyes as he urged Kai off the corpse, and pulled the body pieces out of the room, to who knows where.

 _A 26-year-old man is terrified of him_.

"Help him" his ass, Gustaf was barely keeping themselves together sitting next to him, as he curled up in the bed they set him on.

Be honest with him Gustaf.

He's beyond saving, isn't he?

_Look at what he's done._

Only after he pushed the man away with his words did he slide off the bed. He could barely walk his legs were shaking so much. Blood still covered the room, and the scent made him want to throw up. Not because it was blood. Kai was used to blood. But because he caused that blood to be spilled.

Sure, he mercy killed his friends plenty of times, but those were always done to stop the pain. He's also killed some of the aggressive NPCS, but it was in self-defense, and they were just that! NPCs!

_For the first time in his life. Kai killed an actual person in cold blood with the express purpose of causing pain._

It was too much to process, and he threw up the last of the scones still in his digital body. Coughing out the final chunks, he turned to the right, and beheld a large mirror.

On that mirror was himself. A hopeful smile on his face, and a light glow in his healthy skin.

Him in his very first loop.

The image was gone with a blink, and instead Kai saw a paled skinned, ragged boy, with narrowed, hardened eyes. Covered in blood, and filled with misery and despair.

He frantically clutched onto the Mirror, desperation filled his expression. No! This can't be him! The previous boy he saw in the mirror! That was his real self! It had to be! It couldn't be...this disgusting freak!

_Back!_

_Go back!_

_He wants to go back!_

In his panic, he set the sides of the mirror on fire, and without properly thinking, he smash his head against the mirror, the cracking of the glass reverberating in his ears.

He felt no pain, but he did feel wooziness, as he raised his head and saw the same pale boy, now in a shattered reflection.

_...Why?_

What did he do to deserve this?

All this death, all this despair, all this misery.

Why? What was the joke here? He didn't get it.

...

...

_...Ah..._

...As his gushing blood from his head wound trickled down to his mouth, as the taste of it filled his tongue; a revelation graced his woozy mind.

Kai stared at the shattered, bleeding reflection of his soul, and couldn't help but smile.

_He gets it now!_

_He was alive, constantly repeating this stupid game over and ovEr aNd OveR anD oVeR again!_

_T h A t W a S t H e J o K e!_

...

...And...well...

_He was the fool. The sad, disgusting, broken fool in this joke a deranged psychopath made._

_He gets it now._

_The only salvation this red-headed, sin-soaked fool can wish for is the coming of sweet death._

"...Kai?"

Adam's gentle, authoritative voice graced Kai's ears, and he glanced at the beyond worried Latino behind him, standing by the doorway.

Adam saw, for a split second, a wide, demented smile on Kai's face, which hardly complimented his dead, saddened eyes.

In an instant it was gone, and Kai seemed to be his usual self, clinging onto his head wound in pain and sobbing out his misery. The change was so sudden that Adam wondered if what he saw a split second before was even real.

He decided not to worry about it. Instead, he rushed towards Kai, checking the bloodied scar on his head. "...What happened Kai? Oh my god..."

"I-I was...trying to practice flying in the room..."

Adam bit his lip and shook his head in disapproval. "...Kai." He began, but the red-head was quick to interrupt him before he could even finish. "I know! I know! It was stupid!" They admitted, and tears dripped down their cheeks.

"Hey, it's ok!" Adam reassured his friend, and slowly coerced them out of the room. "I think I saw a first aid kit in the cottage, let's get you patched up-"

Adam's sentence was interrupted when Kai suddenly stood as firm as a board, staring into the room they left from the doorway. He tugged Kai's wrist, trying to gain their attention. "...Kai? Let's go. You don't want to lose any more blood...K... _Kai?"_

_Kai was too busy staring intently at a red-headed boy sitting on the foot of the bed, who smiled at him mockingly with his clear-headed eyes and healthy, colorful skin._

"...So why are you giving me all this power?" Kai quietly inquired, twirling his hair around his finger, and gazing intently at the man behind the tv screen, almost in disbelief. "I could just ignore what you've given me and leave the game with the others you know."

"...You could... _but you might do something else instead."_ monotoned the fallen angel, a wide smirk plastered on his face. "I wish you'd go apeshit and delete everyone, but I can tell you'd never do that. This? This is just to satisfy my curiosity. Doesn't matter whether I go to jail for life or for 20 years if the show I see just might be worth it." Jackson justified his actions, taking a sip from his coffee. "And honestly, I don't think you're going to ignore this power one little bit! _What are you going to do now Kai?"_

...A small, somewhat genuine smile formed on Kai's saturating skin. His eyes sparkled with a light previously long gone.

_He knew exactly what he was going to do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I start using komm susser tod lyrics you know we getting close everyone. :)


	47. It All Returns to Nothing, it Just Keeps Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down, Tumbling down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know I've let you down. I've been a fool to myself! I thought that I could live for no one else.

_"...T-then...why didn't you say anything?!"_ Reeve shouted in frustration. Gustaf tried his best to calm the telekinetic down, but no no avail.

All that worry and fear! It was all pointless! Because Kai knew! _He knew the whole time!_ And he...

. _..G-god...he didn't do anything._ He didn't torture Vanessa in rage. He didn't kill himself a whole bunch of times in despair. He just.. _.waited._

Waited for Reeve to tell him...even though _he knew._

.. _.Why?!_ Reeve couldn't wrap his head around it. Around Kai's actions up to this point.

"Because...well... _I was kind of bored!_ So I played a little game~" Kai began to explain, a calm, eerie smile on his lips. "You were intent on keeping the "secret" for as long as possible. I decided to wait and see how long it would take before you'd finally tell me! How long it would take before you trusted me..." Kai trailed off, his smile suddenly somber in nature. _"Guess you never did huh? I kind of get it. I'm a bit of a lunatic..."_

"You weren't mad at Vanessa?" Mira questioned with disbelief, ignoring Gustaf, who was trying really had to gain the teens attention and just get them out of the damn game already! "Not even _a bit_ angry with what she did to create this mess?"

"Meh! I mean when I first eavesdropped on the news I was angry, yeah. The thing is though...I...had already given up at that point. You have to understand..." Kai's lifeless eyes glanced between Reeve and Mira. "After I tortured Fredrick, the fury I had for this world and my situation just...disappeared; because I realized that it was all _pointless. Everything._ What would be the point in killing Vanessa? She didn't even start all this shit on purpose. I feel sorry for her, if anything."

"...What did you and Vanessa talk about a few days ago?"

Everyone turned to the suddenly observant Skeet.

"You said you told this to her as well. What did you _really_ say to her, before she went and overdosed." Skeet almost demanded an answer, his eyes stern, and staring intently into Kai's careless pupils.

Kai let out a tiny snort. "Nothing much..." He began.

_"...B-but...w-wh-"_

Kai pressed his finger against Vanessa's mouth once more, shushing her into complete, terror filled silence. "It's ok, I'm not going to hurt you~"

Vanessa shook like a leaf she was scared, so fucking scared. Reeve, Mira, they said that Kai would kill her if he knew.

So why wasn't he doing anything? W-what was he going to do to her?!

God, she was so pathetic. She was previously acting all high and mighty and saying she didn't care what Kai would do... _her self-preservation instincts said fuck that._

"...I pity you if anything. Just a small, childish fool who decided to cheat in the wrong video game." Kai muttered, trailed his fingers along Vanessa's hairline, and gently petting her head. "And you're possibly going to actually die soon, huh? I heard that conversation too. _I wasn't very far from where you were eavesdropping."_

Kai stared intently at Vanessa's wide eyes, an idea swirling in his mind. Eventually, when Vanessa became so anxious that she was in tears, Kai decided to follow through with the idea. "...You don't really _deserve_ a painful death, if that's the case...so let me give you some advice."

Kai slowly edged off the bed, shuffling towards the window, and urging Vanessa to follow him. The pink haired girl did as she was urged, too afraid of the possible consequences to not listen to Kai's every word at this point.

"You see that saloon over there?" Kai pointed towards the distant, western saloon that was observable from the window. Vanessa nodded in affirmation, and Kai continued. "There's a bottle in there, on a shelf collection, that's actually a lever. It opens a secret entrance to this nice club down below. In the shelves of the various tables in the main room is a vast collection of different drugs." Kai turned his calm gaze to Vanessa's cowering, confused form. "You take an entire bag of heroin, and an entire bag of cocaine. That's a guaranteed overdose, _trust me."_

...K-Kai was...

_Kai was telling her to kill herself._

_"...B-but I-"_

_"Trust me."_ Kai repeated, disregarding Vanessa's protests with ease. "You don't want to get eaten by a zombie instead. You're going to be a bit...anxious at first, since it'll be your first time taking drugs, but after that it's a _nice, enjoyable trip to a peaceful death._ "

Vanessa blinked at the strange reassurance, and deeply thought about the advice she was given.

She was going to be disconnected from the game soon. There's a good chance she might possibly die.

If she was going to die, then she might as well die peacefully. If she wasn't going to die then...well...there wasn't an excuse to not go all out.

...

_...You know what..._

Vanessa breathed in, breathed out, and stared at Kai with eyes of gratitude. "...Thanks for the advice. I think I'll go down there right now, actually."

"You _knew._ " Reeve hissed, tears brimming in his eyes. _"You knew and yet you told her to do that to herself anyways-"_

 _"Because if she died getting icicled or whatever, then disconnected from the game and still remembered it, she would be scarred by the event!_ " Kai defended his actions, his eyebrows furrowing in frustration. "At least if she died from overdose, she wouldn't be too messed up from it. Maybe from taking the drugs but not the death! And if she's actually dead now, then she died with a smile on her face, on a rooftop, listening to her friend's chatter! _I did a favor for her Reeve!_ " He stated as if it was a foolproof fact. " _I could have done a lot worse to her, like you've all previously suspected, but I didn't._ ”

"...And do you want brownie points?" Adam added his own two pieces into this conversation. His eyes filled with frustration. "Brownie points for not directly killing someone!? _Kai you convinced a teenage girl to kill herself!_ "

" _I don't want your validation!"_ Kai giggled out, tears suddenly streaming down his face. _"I don't care what any of you think of me anymore. Go ahead, call me an asshole! Your opinion can go fuck itself now!"_ Kai slowly raised his hand, preparing to snap his fingers, just like Gustaf. _"Because now, with Jackson's help, I can finally have what I've always wanted!"_

_Snap._

In a blink, Reeve wasn't in the crowded spider village anymore.

Instead, he was standing on thin air, looking down at the entire world that had caused him so much pain...

...

_**Oh shit.** _

" _ **Where's Gustaf!?**_ " Mira shouted in panic, observing every nonexistent nook and cranny of the new location they were in in a daze. Skeet was dead still, trying to process what the fuck just happened. Adam was in a similar rut to Mira, although he was specifically focused on the now floating Kai, who hovered over them like he was some benevolent angel. " _ **Kai what the fuck is this?!**_ " The Latino demanded an answer with wide eyes of confusion.

"Geez! Just _chill_ guys!" Kai waved his hand nonchalantly, trying to calm the teens before him. "I kicked Gustaf off the game! His headset isn't gonna work anymore."

Reeve's head was spinning with a thousand different questions, which he expressed with a needy gaze, and a mismatched sentence. ". _..What...how...when...?!_ "

"Jackson and I had a _nice_ chat that night you found me in the forest." Kai answered part of Reeve's question with a lifeless smile. "He gave me administrative powers! I'm basically this world's god now! I can even prevent the programmers outside from messing with any files!"

Reeve paled considerably.

The virus was gone...but...

_Now it was replaced by Kai._

"...K-Kai what are you..." Mira trailed off, covering her mouth in horror. "...Gonna do to us?" She muffled out.

Kai's smile formed into a neutral frown. He looked almost puzzled by the question. "...Huh? _Nothing._ I'll kick you all out before all the assets of this game are completely deleted." Kai pointed to the transparent ground below, which showcased the game world, which had already begun to slowly disintegrate at a snail's pace. "See? I brought you guys up here so you could watch before you leave!"

Mira collapsed onto the ground and watched the scene below. Adam covered his eyes with his hand and let out a shaky, concerned sigh. Skeet was massaging his temples, still trying to process the events, and Reeve himself was staring intently at Kai, his knees wobbly and his heart racing.

_He didn't like this. He really didn't like this._

Kai was taking advantage of the powers a second madman gave him and trying to gain his closure in his own weird way; forcing the others to participate in it and stalling the disconnection.

All of that _alone_ was pretty concerning, but his gut was _screeching_ at him. _Warning him._ _Warning him that there was even more that wasn't right._

"...So..." Reeve barely managed to say that word without stuttering. "...After you've gotten everything out of your system...we're all getting out of here?"

"Yep!" Kai lilted out, flying towards Reeve and pulling him in a tight, almost needy embrace. _"You all are!"_

...

_"Why do you keep saying "you all" instead of "we."_

Kai was silent.

"...Kai, you're coming with us. You're leaving the game too." Reeve stated, although with the way Kai was staring at him, so somberly...he wasn't 100% sure anymore.

"...Don't say that Reeve. It hurts me, seeing you hopeful like that." Kai corrected, brushing his fingers against Reeve's cheeks. His smile was serene, accepting. _"Hopeful for something that's not happening."_

Reeve's eyes were as wide as saucers, and he felt his breath quicken in pace, panic filling every muscle in his body.

...Kai...better not do what Reeve _thinks_ he's gonna do.

_**...No no no no no no no no no no no no no no god please no-** _

Kai, after a brief struggle, released himself from Reeve's suddenly tight grasp and flew above everyone, raising his hand and preparing to teleport away with a snap. Mira, Adam and Skeet were also equally horrified, quickly understanding the meaning behind Kai's words.

"...You all...you have a chance out there y'know? There's still a bit of yourself in you all. You can all get help and live your lives in relative contentedness...But... _not me._ " Kai finalized, letting out a hollow laugh that quickly morphed into deranged, elated bellows. " _I'm done for. I'm too damaged to live in your new world...It's better if I just stopped existing._ "

Kai's fingers were inches from snapping, and Reeve tried to use his telekinesis powers to lower Kai to the ground...only to realize that he couldn't for some reason...like...like his powers were taken away from him.

**Damn it! Fuck! No! _No no no no!_**

"Reeve don't struggle with this.. _.You don't need me_." Kai's expression flipped into that familiar dorky smile of reassurance. "Just sit back and enjoy the show! _You'll get to watch this revolting world slowly destroy itself...and then when I've disconnected you all from the game, **I'll delete myself! Then everyone can be happy!**_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSPsXYOgMDg
> 
> 1 out of 4


	48. It All Returns to Nothing, it Just Keeps Letting Me Down, Letting Me Down, Letting Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But now, through all the hurt and pain; it's time for me to respect the ones you love mean more than anything.

_He screamed._

Reeve screamed bloody murder, slamming his hands against the invisible, seeming impenetrable floor he sat on.

His vision blurry, he barely made out the disintegrating world below him, and his tears splattered to the floor, as his hyperventilation’s filled the stale air.

_No! Nononononononononononononononononononononononono-_

“Reeve! Reeve!” He heard in the background, and a few pairs of arms surrounded him at all sides, restraining him and whispering reassurances into his ear, empty reassurances that hardly comforted him.

_Kai was going to delete himself._

_Kai was going to kill himself._

He had to do something. He had to, but he didn’t know what to do. He was trapped. He was trapped. He was trapped.

At the very least, Adam, Mira, and Skeet’s assurances calmed him down, and his head was clearer in a minute or so.

“…What are we gonna do?” Skeet eventually questioned, standing up and observing his surroundings. “We aren’t going to let Kai actually delete himself, right?!”

“No!” Mira blurted out, Jumping up, and leaving Adam to clutch onto the still, wide eyed Reeve. “ _Of course not!_ We need to find a way to get down from here, and then find out where Kai teleported to!”

“But…how do we get down?” Adam wondered, clutching onto his arm splint. Mira bit her lip, deep in thought at the question, and began to walk slowly in a certain direction.

The 2 boys raised their eyebrows at this action, wondering what on earth Mira was doing. They couldn’t see all of the floor! What if there’s only a small chunk of it, and she falls off by accident!

It seemed Mira was aware of this possibility, and was intentionally trying to find it, as she lifted her foot, and let it hover in the air for a few moments, before placing it back. “…The floor ends here.” Mira commented, an unsure frown on her lips. “…One or two of us could fall off this invisible platform and then try to find Kai…”

 _“But we’re way high up! We could die if we jump!”_ Skeet countered, rubbing his hands against his forehead in panic. Adam stared intently at the supposed ledge in distress, as Reeve’s eyes widened at the news he barely comprehended.

“You’re right…Yeah, I’m sure if we just stick together and think for a bit we’ll find a less risky way of reaching Kai-“

Mira never got to finish her sentence, as Reeve was already descending from the ledge. He ignored the screams of his name, and his crazed eyes felt the clouds fly above him.

It wasn’t long before he was face to face with the ocean, and time seemed to slow to a stop, milliseconds from impact.

And then, Reeve crashed against the ocean surface. His vision quickly darkened as he descended into the darkened depths below-

_“Shhhhh…”_

Kai’s soft shushes of reassurance graced Reeve’s ears, as he shook like a leaf in Kai’s overprotective arms.

Still connected from an afterglow, the 2 naked teens held on tightly to each other, trapped in a small locker inside the shuttle. The slimy, green alien, which was previously witnessed having consumed Skeet’s liver, was clawing the walls, searching for the last two humans left.

Reeve was still shaken up, from the remains of his friend Skeet. He was scared shitless.

Unlike everything else in this game, Kai had miraculously kept Reeve safe from a painful, alien poisoned death. He had never been harmed by the shuttle alien before…and that could easily change with one wrong sound.

So Reeve covered his mouth, and shut his eyes tightly, burying his face into Kai’s chest. The red-head surfed their fingers through his hair, caressed his sides and hips to distract him from the monstrous breathing outside the locker.

 _“I won’t let it hurt you.”_ Kai promised in a soft whisper. It was a promise that he’s kept for a year now, and there’s no way he was breaking it. _“It’s ok, you’ll be ok.”_ He lifted a gun, pressing the barrel against Reeve’s head. The cocking of the gun alerted Reeve, and he stiffened, ready for his life to end for a few brief moments.

The next moment, he was lying in the locker, convulsing in his own blood, and slowly numbing out of existence. Somehow, for once, the bullet wound didn’t automatically end his life.

He watched with his spotting vision, as Kai protectively covered the locker he lied on with their body. He watched as the alien bit his arms off and devoured him whole.

Kai didn’t wince a single bit.

Kai was…that willing to give his body to Reeve, both sexually and physically.

In that next loop he found himself tightly embracing Kai the moment he saw them again. No words, just warmth. He heard Kai’s soft breath against his ear, and hugged tighter.

Kai didn’t wince a single bit.

Kai returned Reeve’s embrace by gently clutching the back of his shirt. His face emotionless, and unaffected by the sacrifice he made earlier.

 _“…Don’t do that again.”_ Reeve muttered, staring into those blank eyes. “You don’t have to suffer for me.”

“It’s no big deal!” Kai giggled out nonchalantly. Reeve was caught off guard as the red-head’s hand stroked his cheek. “ _I’d do anything for you.”_

Reeve’s eyes blinked open, and he awoke by the beach. The ocean waves touched his soaked feet, and his aching bones were torturous to lift.

He only had a short time to process the events that just occurred, his dream, and his current location before he stood upright, beholding a sea-soaked Skeet standing in front of him. “…About time you woke up, _you moron!”_ Skeet almost chided, squeezing the water out of his beanie. “You’re lucky I’m that guy that would jump off the bridge.”

“…You jumped down after me?” Reeve muttered in confusion and exhaustion, and Skeet nodded his head. “Mira stayed behind to keep Adam company. He’s in no shape to help us right now.” The windy breeze blew against the 2 boy’s hair, as stray pixel particles dissipated into nothing, and the distant ocean shrunk in size. Skeet observed his surroundings. “…Where do you think Kai went?”

“How should I know?! He could be anywhere!” Reeve snapped in panic. He was trying so hard! So hard to think of a place Kai could have gone to! But his mind was empty, or maybe just filled with sea water-

“Hey, hey!” Skeet placed his hands on Reeve’s shoulders, and squeezed them in reassurance. The telekinetic was calmed quickly. “You’re raveling! Just calm down and think for a minute. You know Kai better than all of us.”

Reeve let out a frustrated sigh. He thought, and thought, and thought, and thought-

…

“…The bunker…” Muttered Reeve without hesitance, staring intently at Skeet _. “The bunker.”_ He repeated once more.

There was no other possibility. No other place was as significant as that one location, that one place Reeve and Kai opened their eyes to over and over again.

And before Reeve knew it, he was being carried by Skeet as they sped through the disintegrating digital world. The birds and bunnies glitched out of existence, one by one. The boys passed by the Minotaur town, in complete disarray as families held onto each other and phased out of existence.

_So fast. Everything was going so damn fast._

Reeve wasn’t sure how the fuck everything got so chaotic at this point, but he sure was going to do something about it.

He won’t let Kai do this to himself! He won’t!

…He…

_…He needs them._

The cold forest air was fading away, becoming sterile and lifeless by the time Reeve and Skeet reached the bunker Kai’s team woke up in. Kai had shown him the location a long time ago. It wasn’t too far from the bunker Reeve himself woke up in.

Reeve stepped onto the grassy ground and opened the bunker sealing. The poisonous gas had long since been deleted from the game, and the pitch-black tunnel was illuminated by a single, faint light from a vent opening down below.

“…So is he down there?” Questioned Skeet, his hands on his knees as he observed the Erie sight. Reeve shrugged his shoulders. “The light could probably just be from the ceiling light, but I’m still going down there.”

“And what if he’s not there?” Skeet questioned, turning his head towards the pixelating trees in the distance. “We’re running out of time.”

“He has to be down here.” Reeve reasoned, descending the ladders and nodding a goodbye to Skeet. It was a gut feeling.

Never in his entire career of living this video game, had he ever willingly returned to a bunker, let alone step into Kai’s bunker.

Crawling through the vents, and emerging into a cement bricked room that was all to familiar, he saw a sight that broke his heart.

The walls and the ceiling were covered in red, dripping tally marks. Reeve couldn’t count them they were so numerous. In the center of the room was Kai, who was finishing another collection of five with his bloody fingers. His wrists were scratched open and pouring out a metallic scented liquid.

Reeve landed to the ground from the vent entrance with a rough thud, startling Kai away from his counting. He turned to Reeve with wide, horrified eyes.

For a moment there was only silence, silence as the two comprehended each other’s existence.

 _“…You’re a fucking idiot.”_ Kai eventually muttered, scratching his nails along the blood marked floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 out of 4


	49. It All Returns to Nothing, I Just Keep Tumbling Down, Tumbling Down, Tumbling down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it's sadness in my heart; feel the best thing I could do is end it all, and leave forever.

“You could have died falling off the ledge you know.” Kai reprimanded the increasingly furious Reeve; unbothered by his bleeding wrists, which dripped to the bunker ground. “What the fuck were you thinking-“

“What the fuck _are you_ thinking?!” Reeve growled out, stomping right in front of the injured red head with a worried grimace. “Do you…honestly think I’m going to let you do this?! Delete yourself?!”

“Of course.” Kai abruptly stood up from the ground, flames gathering around his hands threateningly. “Because you have no choice in the matter Reeve.”

Reeve bit his lip in frustration and tried with all his might to use his powers again, to lift a brick from the wall, or something. But his powers were proven to still be hidden. Possibly Kai’s own doing. “Don’t do this Kai!” He called out in desperation, raising his fists self-defensively. He hoped to god it wouldn’t have to come to this. He had seen Kai’s power. He wouldn’t stand a chance. “You have just as much of a chance as the rest of us! Just stop this and come with me! Come with me to the real world-“

Reeve was interrupted by Kai’s leg, which collided with his stomach and sent him flying. His body was smacked against the cement wall, immobilizing him to the ground as Kai glared ferociously with his flaming eyes and tight frown.

He turned around and raised his hand, prepared to snap Reeve back to the ledge. “Go back up there and _stay_ up there this time.” Kai commanded. “Stop being so childish. You don’t need me Reeve-“

**“YES I DO!”**

…

Kai slowly turned his heard towards the sobbing Reeve, who slowly, but surely stepped up from the ground, clutching onto his stomach. “I…” He coughed, trying to restrain his tears, but realizing Kai had already seem this side of him, he let his emotions out. “I don’t know if I’d be able to get better without you by my side.”

…

Kai snapped his fingers, but the action seemed to have done nothing to Reeve, nor Kai himself.

“…I disconnected the others.” He muttered an answer to Reeve’s internal question. Kai completely faced him, his shoulder’s slouched and his eye-bags apparent. “…Reeve…I can’t do this anymore…”

“Yes you can Kai.” Reeve countered, thankful beyond relief that he was being given a chance, a chance to convince Kai against this action. “With others you can. You aren’t alone anymore! We all know about the situation! We know a small piece of the pain you’ve gone through. I especially do!” He shuffled to Kai, who barely listened to Reeve’s words with his exhaustion. “I want to help you Kai! Because I care about you! Because I want to see you smile…truly smile…”

“…That’s so selfish…” Kai moaned out, rubbing his eyes. “Just because you want my presence, you’re going to make me continue breathing…for how long?” Kai challenged, his breath shallow and shaky. “it may have only been 2 years outside the game, but I’ve lived 50 of them in the game, and those years sure _felt_ real…I’m _tired_ of living Reeve.”

“I know.” Reeve agreed in a whisper, inches away from reaching Kai-

And then Reeve was smacked back to the wall with another kick. Kai this time didn’t seem angry. He seemed more scared than anything, has his soft hyperventilations filled the static air. “ _I’m so tired Reeve.”_ He muttered, backing away from the injured boy.

“I know.” Reeve agreed once more. Standing back up and shuffling towards Kai once more was a struggle, a struggle Reeve was willing to conquer, because the alternative, letting Kai do this…would be far worse to handle.

 _“I just want to sleep Reeve.”_ Kai hissed out, as Reeve threatened him with their pursuit. He back up against the wall opposite to where Reeve was smacked against.

“I know…but please…stay with me.” Reeve begged, pulling Kai into a tight embrace. Kai growled like a dog and screeched like a banshee, kicking Reeve’s shins and struggling away from their grasp. Reeve ignored the scratches, and held on tighter, until Kai eventually gave up and collapsed into his arms, completely exhausted.

“…You should hate me. I’m horrible. I just hurt you.” Kai unconsciously bit Reeve’s shoulder in frustration. “I’m a parasite. I’ve…tainted you. You used to be so innocent and now-“

Reeve let out a tiny snort. “You’ve kept me from going down the deep end Kai…Without you, I’d have probably lost my mind.” Reeve countered, enjoying and holding on to every second of Kai’s still breathing body. “You’ve kicked me worse before…and I know you don’t mean to. You’re barely functioning Kai. We can try to repair that…as much as we can.”

“And what if I don’t get better?” Kai challenged, letting out a hollow giggle. “What if I get worse? What if I’m just always going to be batshit crazy?”

“Well first off you’ll be batshit crazy in a safer environment. No one will try to hurt you again-”

“Reeve you don’t _know_ that-“

“If anyone tries to take advantage of you and your mental state I will make sure every moment of their life is a living hell.” Reeve reasoned, brushing his hand against Kai’s cheek. “And If you don’t change that much, if there’s nothing that can be done, if the trauma’s affected you to your very core, then who gives a shit?” Reeve stated, pressing his forehead against Kai. “I love you too much to abandon you over mental issues. Especially considering I’m not exactly mentally A-Okay either.”

“…What if we get sick of each other? What if we drift apart?”

“We’re _already_ sick of each other…It’s great.” Reeve muttered, wiping away Kai’s tears. “And if your parents are racist and shit, I’ll just sneak into your house at midnight. I don’t care what’s in my way.”

…

Kai erupted into amused laughter, tears pouring out his eyes as the deletion process was halted for good.

Reeve and Kai held onto each other, standing on a small section of brick flooring. And surrounded by 1s and 0s. “If my parents don’t approve of you, I’ll just run away! Fuck them! Fuck everyone! _Especially you!_ ” Kai lilted out the last part, trailing his finger along Reeve’s spine. His smile faltered however, and he began to shake like a leaf. “…B-but I…I don’t know…if I even want to go to the real world…Fuck that sounds so blasphemous…” Kai stared at his hands, his hands which had been covered in too many wounds, too much blood. They shook with a fear long hidden. “…I’m so used to this life now…I can _barely_ imagine a world in where every day is new and…filled with so many possibilities.”

…Reeve couldn’t help but silently agree. He didn’t need to add on, that statement enough expressed both of their thoughts.

“…Well…let’s find out what it feels like again…together…” Reeve nearly begged, taking Kai’s hand and intertwining his fingers into theirs.

Kai stared at Reeve with dull, exhausted eyes. His pale, bony fingers accepted Reeve’s gesture of affection, and it was clear as day, how tired, how terrified he was. But Reeve’s presence eased him enough somehow, eased him enough to have some trust.

But he still needed more confirmation. “…You won’t leave me?” Kai questioned. Reeve had never seen such a vulnerable gaze from Kai.

“Of course not.” Reeve muttered, almost like he was being asked to murder someone in cold blood. “I could have easily just left you alone in here. But I didn’t. I’m not going anywhere Kai.”

“ _You promise?_ ” Kai’s grip on Reeve’s hand tightened.

“If anyone tries to keep me away from you I’ll kidnap you at 2 am in the morning and take you to Mexico with me.” Reeve reassured, a soft smile on his face. “How’s that?”

Kai wheezed at Reeve’s comment, and shook his head. “…Nooooo, I want to go to Japan! They have good porn there.” He objected with a wobbly smile. A brief silence sat between the two boys for a few moments, before Kai finally lifted his gaze to stare into Reeve’s eyes.

“…Thank you.” Kai spoke in a soft whisper, the briefest hint of an old glimmer in his eyes. “Thank you so much…you…basically saved me.”

Reeve thanked whatever god that was above when Kai buried his face into Reeve’s chest, and waited for the disconnection process. “We’re ready Gustaf…if you can hear us…” Reeve shouted. His call was almost immediately recognized, and he felt his legs numb, as they disintegrated into red pixels.

“… _See you on the other side_.” Reeve whispered into Kai’s ear, and Kai buried his fingers deeper into Reeve’s back in response. Dear god he didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to let go.

In the corner of his eye, he saw the red-headed phantom. Only a few minutes ago they were screaming and laughing in delight. Eager at Kai finally giving in, at Kai finally having the chance to end it all. They danced around his body seconds before Reeve came, and mocked his every flaw.

But now there was only dead silence. The phantom gazed at him with emotionless eyes.

“It’s not going to be easy you know.” The phantom warned. “Life isn’t a paradise. You will still suffer, just not as much as in this place.”

“I know.” Kai answered in his mind. “…But...even if I don’t deserve it… _I want to truly live with Reeve and the others…no matter how hard it’s going to be_.”

…

The phantom hesitantly accepted this response, and smiled somberly at his other.

The innocent, young Kai began to fade away along with the real Kai, like a will-o-wisp having just accepted his death. _“…Good answer.”_ The innocent Kai echoed, and then faded away

Slowly, every part of Reeve and Kai’s bodies pixelated into nothing, until only a strand of hair was left.

And then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 out of 4
> 
> 2 chapters left everyone! We getting close to ending this nightmare of a fic! ^v^


	50. It All Returns to Nothing, I Just Keep Letting Me Down, Letting Me Down, Letting Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's done is done it feels so bad. What once was happy now is sad! I'll never love again! My world is ending...

Slowly, but surely, Reeve’s eyes opened to a whole new world.

He was met with bright lights, and an entire audience of game developers. They cheered at his escape from The Hollow

…The Hollow? Yeah, that’s what it was called. Gustaf said-

_And it all came back._

_His parents. The loneliness that was living in in a house devoid of reassurance. The forced independence._

_His Friends. The good times. the bad times. Adam and Mira’s betrayal. Vanessa and Skeet’s smiles_

_The Hollow. The prize they could have won. The fun they could have had._

_He lost so much._

_So damn much._

_And he didn’t even realize it throughout those 2 agonizing years._

The resurfaced memories were too much to handle, and he collapsed onto the floor, dry heaving and sobbing out his despair and grief.

_He just wanted to play a game!_

_That’s all he wanted!_

_God…why?_

His blurry vision barely made out the group of developers gathering around him, trying to calm him down, to ease his panic. It didn’t work at first.

And then a familiar voice pushed through the developer’s voices. Someone who looked like Mira cupped his cheeks, and called his name in reassurance. He clung onto this woman, who wore baggy clothes provided by The Hollow team, and cried his eyes out until eventually he couldn’t cry anymore.

When he lifted his eyes from this Mira, he beheld two boys, who appeared similar to Skeet and Adam, only older, with long, unkempt hair. That was when Reeve began to feel around his face and body, felt every grove of his ribs, felt his angular shaped face and felt his shaggy long hair.

2 years had passed. Reeve was now 18.

He would have been a senior this year…but…

“…You’re home!” Called out another familiar voice, and the three older teens turned to Gustaf, his skin now only shining a purplish color from the colorful lights. “…Welcome back.” He spoke with a soft, relieved smile.

That smile was immediately torn apart when a horrifying, banshee like scream blasted from a nearby red-head, still sitting his gaming chair, his eyes wide open with horror.

“Is Kai ok?”

“He’s been unresponsive since he was disconnected.”

Snip snip. Reeve’s cut hair fell to the floor. The hair stylist’s answer disheartened Reeve.

“When can I see him?” He questioned, fidgeting in his plastic chair. It had been a few days since the 5 of them were disconnected. Mira, Skeet, and Adam got their haircut right away. Reeve got his haircut late because he was locked in his new room after he injured himself in a state of panic, after he was denied the right to be by Kai’s side.

The moment Kai screamed Reeve crawled towards Kai like a wild animal, holding onto him for dear life and hissing at anyone who got too close. He was eventually removed from the screaming 16-year-old, but he smashed his fists against the floors and walls as he struggled out of the restrainers’ grasp.

That scream haunted his sleep, it echoed in his dreams, and it buzzed with the morning air. He needed to see Kai. He needed to.

All the grownups told him was that Kai was as still as a mouse. He was awake, he breathed, he blinked, but he refused to eat, or so much as acknowledge people’s presence.

“…In a few days, if the medical professionals allow it.” Answered the stylist, named Madeline, who placed her scissors down and picked up the razor. “He’s really not ok right now Reeve. Seeing him in his current state will just make you sadder.”

“I don’t care.” Reeve responded, tightly clutching onto his pant-legs. “I need to see him.”

Silence filled the small room the two adults sat in. Reeve stared intently at the mirror, watching his new hairstyle slowly come into being.

“…How’s Mira and the others?” Reeve eventually asked. “…After their parents picked them up?”

“Mira’s been studying hard, trying to catch up with school.” Madeline began to story tell, calming Reeve with her soft voice. “Adam’s been spending quality time with his family. As for Skeet, he’s been taking care of his mom. She’s gotten really ill ever since the incident happened.”

…

“…You know…” Madeline began. “You should really think about going back with your mom and dad soon-“

“Not until I see Kai again.” Reeve muttered, shutting his eyes tight. His mom came over a day after the disconnection. He declined her offer to come back home immediately. “I need to keep an eye on Kai.” Was all he said, and she respectfully backed off, stating that when he got everything done, he could call her and she’d drive him home.

“…Alright…” Madeline muttered, letting out a small sigh, and setting down her razor. “But you’re going to have to start helping around headquarters starting tomorrow. We don’t take freeloaders.” She began to comb his hair of the tangles still present.

Reeve shrugged. He didn’t mind at all about the work. “How have you and Gustaf been?”

Madeline snorted, instantly understanding the intent but choosing to avoid the true answer. “You see us every day! We’re both fine.”

“I mean your relationship. You’ve started dating right?” Reeve prodded, a small smirk forming on his face. Madeline’s face flushed a gentle red, and she nodded a yes. “Yeah. He took me out to a restaurant yesterday. Wine doesn’t taste that bad.” The young lady, finally finished with the styling, clapped her hands together, and admired her work. “Well, what do you think?”

Reeve’s admired his short afro, shaved at the lower sides. He smiled and nodded in approval.

“…Vanessa?”

A few weeks had passed since the disconnection. Reeve’s therapist had been set up, and he was going to begin his first session tomorrow.

Today however, Gustaf woke him up, a rare occurrence, and led him to a room a distance from his without a single explanation.

Inside the room, a few game developers were watching a woman with black pigtails, playing with her recently bought dolls and encouraging her imagination.

The woman was Vanessa, upon closer inspection.

“…V-Vanessa? Is…that you?” Reeve called out for the woman, who instantly backed away as he extended his hand towards her. She shook in fear and turned to Gustaf, calling out with childishly formed words. “…Gus-gus? Who dis?”

Gustaf smiled somberly, and walked towards the frightened woman, placing a hand on her shoulder and gently pushing her towards the confused Reeve. “That’s Reeve, he’s one of your best friends.”

“…Fwend?” Vanessa mumbled out, focusing her attention to the unfamiliar boy before her and holding tightly onto one of her dolls. Reeve bit his lip in concern, glancing between this overly childish Vanessa and the completely calm Gustaf. “…Gustaf…what happened to her?”

“…Her mind has reverted into a childlike state.” The game show host cut straight to the chase. “We think it might be brain damage from the manual disconnection process. She doesn’t remember who she used to be, or anything that happened in the game.” Gustaf let out a saddened sigh, and shrugged his shoulders “She’s mentally a toddler now. Her parents come over to check on her every once and a while. They apparently can’t afford to take care of her right now.”

…Vanessa…

…He struggled to form a friendly smile, and crouched in front of the woman exactly his height. “…Hey Vanessa. Nice to finally meet you.” He cooed out, lighting the young woman’s eyes up in excitement. “Hi-hi!” She giggled out, sitting on the ground and shoving her doll at his face. “Lookie! I gotta new dolly!”

“…It’s very cute.” Reeve complimented the doll, silently mourning the loss of his friend.

“So how’s life at headquarters?” Skeet questioned Reeve, digging into his grilled cheese sandwich provided by the diner they sat in. The short-haired Mira next to him leaned against his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of her old friend.

“It’s pretty dope.” Reeve answered, eating his fries slowly, and without much enthusiasm. “I mostly do small chores here and there. Take out the trash, bring people food, keep an eye on Vanessa.” He glanced at the pig tailed woman next to her, who ate her sprinkled donuts eagerly, unbothered by her frosting covered lips. “It’s not bad at all. Better than anything I’ve went through in the Hollow.”

“And your therapy sessions?” Adam inquired in front of the table, pouring more coffee for Mira, and nodding to one of his coworkers. “They’ve been helping you?”

“…I guess.” Reeve answered hesitantly, scratching at his arms as he felt the familiar tickling sensation of fresh scars that no longer exist. “I get to vent…but I could easily do that with Kai. The meds do help though.” He let out a light sigh, scratching his forehead. “I wish I could see him, but Gustaf and the others say he’s still unresponsive. _Not that I care what state he’s in! **Not that they listen to me when I say that-**_ “

“Reeve, Reeve! Calm down!” Mira sat up, placing her hands-on Reeve’s shoulders and lowering his temper bit by bit. “I know it’s been a month, but you I’m sure they’ll let you see him eventually.”

Reeve let out a frustrated sigh, and surfed his hands through his hair. “I promised him I’d be there for him.” He muttered, biting his lip as the memory of Kai’s hopeful eyes filled his mind. “He’s going to be taken back to Davis’s house and treated there tomorrow. I’m going to see if I can convince Davis to let me move in with him. I love my mom and dad but I want to stay by Kai’s side…especially after his parent’s actions.”

Just thinking about Kai’s parents made Reeve’s blood boil. They visited Kai as soon as they heard of his disconnection, and Reeve heard them as they left the building and muttered about how their son was “a complete waste of space now” and that the money they donated was all for nothing…as they fired Davis.

Poor Davis was now a plumber, living in a small apartment. The Hollow company, after noting the success of the teen’s recovery, offered to pay Davis to keep Kai in this apartment just recently, an offer Davis accepted instantly.

“Yeaaaaaaaah _fuck_ Kai’s parents.” Skeet moaned out, rolling his eyes as he recalled the info Reeve told him, along with the others. The others silently agreed…accept Vanessa, who had no idea what the word fuck meant, and shouted the word in innocent amusement, much to everyone’s shock and Mira’s disappointment.

“But besides _my_ bull. How are you dealing with _your_ video game trauma Mira?” Reeve turned his attention to the 17-year-old, now sporting a more soft, girly outfit. “…Oh…The therapy sessions are going great! the nightmares are starting to die down a little!”

The rest of those brief Saturday hours were filled with light-hearted chatter. Of current events and wishes.

But in Reeve’s mind, one single thought repeated in his mind.

He’s going to ask Davis if he can move in with them tonight.

_He has to._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4 out of 4. Last chapter in Progress...
> 
> A more chill chapter before I simultaneously break your nico nico kneecaps and cure your sadness next chapter-


	51. I Wish That I Could Turn Back Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cause now the guilt is all mine! Can't live without the trust from those you love. I know, we can't forget the past. You can't forget love and pride! Because of that it's killing me inside...

“Watch your step sir.”

Reeve climbed up the final steps of the stairs to Davis’s apartment, his carry-ons in his hands. The warning from the used-to-be butler was ignored. It was 1 am, and Reeve was exhausted.

He forgot to ask Davis about possibly moving in yesterday, so when Davis drove away from headquarters one final time, having already picked Kai up the night before, Reeve, in a state of sudden panic, jumped up the hood of the car and clung on for dear life until Davis finally noticed while driving midway through the highway.

Reeve was prepared to beg like a dog for Davis to let him move in. Davis instantly accepted him before Reeve could even finish his proposal.

And so here was Reeve, unpacking his clothes and shoving them into the corner of his new room…the couch.

“…Do you want to see Kai?” Davis suddenly inquired, much to Reeve’s shock, who fell of the couch, his eyes lighting up with excitement at the mere thought.

“Yes!” He shouted louder than he intended, standing upright and waiting with impatience for Davis to lead the way. “…Please.”

Davis smiled somberly, and beckoned for Reeve to follow. He led them to the bedroom next to his own, and opened the door.

In this bedroom, was Kai, dead still and connected to various ivs. His eyes were open, but they comprehended nothing, or perhaps they refused to comprehend anything.

Reeve didn’t dwell on it much. He instantly sprinted to Kai’s side, crawled on the bed, and pulled the limp Redhead into a tight embrace. Davis shut the door silently, giving the two boys privacy.

“I’m so sorry Kai.” Reeve whispered into Kai’s ear, tears dripping down his eyes. “God I’m so sorry Kai. I’m here now. I’m here.”

No response.

“…A lot of things have happened.” Reeve began, trailing his fingers through Kai’s hair and rubbing the tangled strands. “Jackson was arrested for the code alterations he did. He’s now serving prison with Fredrick. Adam’s working as a waiter in a diner, to help support his parents. Mira’s been studying night and day, and Skeet’s been trying to get her outside more. I think they’d make a cute couple.”

No response.

“Vanessa…well…the new Vanessa is doing pretty well. I bought her a nice pink dress yesterday. She loves it to death. Threw a tantrum when the developers said she had to take it off for the night. I…miss the old Vanessa everyday…”

No Response.

“Gustaf and Madeline have started dating. They’re really cute together in my opinion.” Reeve let out a small chuckle, taking Kai’s limp hand and holding it tightly. “Despite Madeline’s soft girl appearance, I think she’s the one that wears the pants in the relationship sometimes.”

No Response.

“…I’ve been taking meds. It’s helped with some of the hallucinations I have.” Reeve glanced around the room thinking for a split second he saw the hanging corpse of Adam nearby. “I should probably take my daily dose soon.”

No Response.

“…Kai?” Reeve muttered, lifting Kai’s blank, almost lifeless face towards his own. “…Kai…Please I know this is a lot to take in but…please…please just say something…anything…”

No Response.

…

Reeve let out a tired sigh, and held onto Kai in silence, enjoying his warmth; the only thing that assured Reeve he was still alive at this point. Tears slowly escaped Reeve’s eyes, despite his struggle to keep them contained.

And then Reeve’s breathing halted for what felt like hours, as he felt shaky hands slowly brush his tears away from his cheek.

Reeve lifted his head up from Kai’s chest, noting the slight head tilt, and still blank eyes that now pierced specifically into his soul. Kai’s hand hovered over his cheek, shaking, like he barely held the strength to keep it up.

That was all Reeve needed.

He tackled Kai on the bed, and cuddle him in relief. Kai hardly reacted, only brushed his hand through Reeve’s now short hair. His eyebrows raised slightly in confusion, and he tried to mutter something, but it only came out in croaks. Therefore, he began to gently whack the hair over and over again.

“K-Kai…what are you doing? You don’t like my haircut?” Reeve giggled out, tilting his head at Kai’s slightly irked expression. The red-head shook his head, disapproving the sudden change. Reeve simply snorted, and flicked Kai’s nose “Well you’re gonna have to get used to it. I like it shorter like this. Doesn’t require as much care.”

Kai tried to protest, but once again his throat only emitted weird, croaking noises. Kai clutched onto his neck, his eyes wide, as he tried to scream, to shout, to say anything. Instead he started sobbing, and Reeve held onto him tighter, kissing his forehead in reassurance. “Hey…hey…you don’t have to force yourself to say anything. You’re probably parched, aren’t you?” Reeve attempted to scoot off the bed, out of Kai’s grasp. “I’ll get you some water-“

But Kai vehemently detested this idea, and clung into Reeve for dear life, not wanting to be separated from the used-to-be telekinetic. Reeve smiled endearingly, and picked Kai up bridal style. “…Aight. This probably isn’t allowed but I’ll take you with me. Let’s hope Davis doesn’t wake up and find us in his kitchen.”

A few minutes later, Kai sat lazily against the floor cupboards, a cup of water being poured into his mouth with Reeve’s assistance. The water seemed to help clear Kai’s throat, and he let out a few coughs.

Reeve wiped the saliva off of Kai’s chin, and with impish intent, sucked it from his mouth suggestively, much to Kai’s amusement, who used the little strength he had to lick Reeve’s lips, and stick his tongue out mockingly.

For a while, the two cuddles on the kitchen floor in content silence…until Reeve got bored of the said silence. “…Do you…see things too?” Reeve questioned, twirling his finger around Kai’s hair. “…Like corpses, and the foes we faced. That kind of jazz.”

Kai, after a moment of thought, nodded a yes to Reeve’s question, lowering his eyelids somberly.

“You might need to see my psychiatrist then…” Reeve muttered, tapping the fingers of his other hand against the tiled flooring. “Thinking about canceling my therapist appointments. I don’t need them, really…but I know Gustaf won’t let me. Fucking frustrating, not being trusted because of your mental state…”

Kai simply shrugged his shoulders at the comment, unsure of how to respond, or whether he even had the strength to respond.

“…Hey…why did you…basically die for a month?” Reeve suddenly questioned, sniffing Kai’s sterile hair. “Was it all…just too much to comprehend?”

Kai nodded quickly.

“…So why did you finally revive when I came along?”

…

Kai crawled closer to Reeve, and rubbed his head against their neck. The action alone was enough of an answer for Reeve, and he smiled somberly in response. “…God…this all turned into such a mess…I don’t even know how I would describe it…Hey, here’s a challenge.” Reeve turned to face the sleepy Kai, who leaned their head against Reeve’s shoulder. “If you could describe everything in one word, what would it be?”

…

Kai thought, and thought, and thought.

And only one world fully described the magnitude of the horrors he went through.

_“…Disgusting.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc6KUlXP--M
> 
> Finally, the worst fanfic is finished-
> 
> If you're feeling empty after this chapter you're supposed to feel like that-
> 
> I might do an extra chapter that's just filled with shitposts and memes that either I, or the you guys in the comments, come up with about this horrid thing I've made! Maybe!
> 
> If not, all I'm going to say is that I might maybe perhaps make a sequel...how?
> 
> Well uh...guys, in case you have forgotten...
> 
> t h e p l o t o f s e a s o n 2 e x i s t s-


	52. Com Swet Deth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small collection of incorrect quotes to celebrate this fic's completion and hopefully cure your big sad a bit. feel free to give your own in the comments.

Reeve: I can't believe we're stuck in this room together!

Kai, swallowing the key: Yes...truly unfortunate.

Kai: Not doing so hot, I have this headache that comes and goes.

Gustaf: *walks in*

Kai: Oh look! There it is again!

Everyone: Ok let me see what you have!

Kai: A KNIFE!

Everyone: _NO-_

Reeve: We can't do that. The stress would be bad for the baby.

Kai: ...What baby?

Reeve: Mira.

Kai: I could kill you if I wanted to Reeve.

Reeve: Yeah? So could one of the other teens.

Kai:

Reeve: So could the devil dogs.

Kai:

Reeve: So could the ice giant.

Kai:

Reeve: You aren't special Kai.

Reeve: Fun fact. Lots of movies reuse laughter tracks from the 40s ans 50s. You're technically hearing dead people laughing.

Kai: Ha! Jokes on you! I always hear dead people laughing!

Reeve:

Reeve: Kai what the actual fuck does that mean-

Mira: So let's start by talking about the emotions you're feeling Kai!

Kai: Stabbing.

Mira: Er...Stabbing isn't really an emotion, an emotion is more like a feeling-

Kai: Well _maybe_ I'm feeling _stabby!_

Reeve: Kai did you eat my powdered donuts?

Kai: *covered in white powder* No.

Reeve: Then what's all that stuff on your mouth and nose?

Kai: Oh that's cocaine-

Kai: Don't worry! I got a few knives up my sleeves!

Mira: I think you mean cards.

Reeve: He didn't.

Kai, pulling out knifes: I didn't.

Mira: So what is it like being with Kai 24/7?

Reeve: Once I asked him for a glass of water while he was in a bad mood and he brought me a glass of ice and said "Wait."

Gustaf: Kai you shouldn't be taking drugs and having sex to cure your depression.

Kai: Not to worry! I have a permit! *hands in slip of paper*

Gustaf: ...This just says "I do what I want."


End file.
